| | What's with recently separated men online dating?Page 7 of 7 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7) | Doggone Technobear, I was trying to keep that little mystery a secret just a little while longer. LOL I was starting to think maybe I was emotionally deficient or something awhile back when I left, it just doesnt work if it isnt working, that explanation gets a huge check on the list of things to examine and fix...makes perfect sense to me and seems to fit. I will have to say though that your algebra is missing a very important variable....that may be the way it works for the man and I guess for women too but I cant speak to that since I aint one....but the other half has to fit in there before you can just say long and happy life...but I agree that its worth it to see it in print for review. Alright, now Im gonna keep reading down the thread and see how bad you got trashed for that little pearl of wisdom....
Great comment, very appreciated | |
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| What's with recently separated men online dating?
Posted: 1/26/2006 4:23:25 PM | | Georgy girl I have to say that I truly appreciate your comment. I have met some really fine friends here at POF and all of them know that its just friends. I also have met some women that dont want that, even though it would seem that we might be very compatable, and I appreciate that too. There is absolutely nothing wrong with knowing what you want or what you dont want after all. I KNOW I am in for a roller coaster life for a while waiting for the next nine months before I can file, and then for two months it will take (minimum) to negotiate the divorce, and then the next year to get back on my feet financially and emotionally following all of the above. I can understand anyone wanting to stay away from me and I dont blame them for that sentiment at all...there is hurt, and then there is upheaval, both come into play at one point or another for someone in the process of divorce and neither is a very nice gift to give to a romantic interest in the first place. On the other side of it, I dont have any friends locally except the ones that I have made here, I have always been a homebody and a faithful husband and kept to my family...this is NOT something I want to go through with without the support of nearby friends, and that makes those women (and men) that have befriended me that much more special, and at the same time it doesnt lessen those who want to run when they see me coming LOL...I get it. | |
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| What's with recently separated men online dating?
Posted: 2/20/2006 1:06:37 PM | The Valentine edition of the Georgia Strait ran a survey. Amongst the questions: How long do you wait before beginning another relationship?
Survey says: Females: Always in a relationship-13 percent, Longer than one year-8 percent, One year or less- 43 percent, One month or less- 33 percent, One week or less-7 percent.
And similar numbers for males.
Admittedly a poorly sampled survey, but this one, at least indicated that half the respondents are into another relationship within a month of the previous one ending.
I find that encouraging. The 8 percent that need more than a year are just that. A minority. No problem for me. Just don't spread it as if its Gospel. | |
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| What's with recently separated men online dating?
Posted: 5/1/2008 12:34:50 AM | Absolutley agree, but take into consideration these people actually believe they are ready, and have no idea of what lays ahead, and are perhaps reaching out for suppport and intimacy that is lacking, it is wrong, I jsut dont they think they realise it......
They are time wasters and dont understand that we dont to be used as their crutch and dont want to be burdened by the situation....... We have all had our own to deal with and after our own divorces and separations who wants to re live it with someone elses.........
I had a male friend contact when he his wife moved out, she hadnt actually collected her stuff yet, asking me to move in, and he simply didn't understsand I wanted nothing to do with the situation and was not about to get involved or go through his divorce with him, I dont think he understood and it took quite a while for him to get the message, I felt for his situation but absolutley wanted nothing to do with it.......
People cant see themselves clearly when they are in these situations and its hard to point it out to them, best way is to have no contact and keep looking......
and to recomend they go to councilling instead of looking for a new partner so soon..... | |
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| What's with recently separated men online dating?
Posted: 5/1/2008 12:46:28 AM | I have read some posts.........
Every one does take different time sto heal and move on......... that is fine and a fact
However, it must be finalised, you can date prior to this, it s up to each individual to make the choice........
Grief is a factor and some people will ignore the grieving process and say I am fine, but that then becomes baggage, packed away and unresolved...... That is not ok , but tooo common...... and no one wants that baggage to come out at a later date in an unhealthy manner.....
Grief on the average takes 2 yrs to work through, a bit longer and a bit shorter for some but 2 yrs is the average........
Most people dont understand grief when associated to relationships and changes in life other than death........ theirfore dont accept they have anythign to resolve........
It just keeps mounting up and denial of this fact is the problem......
Councilling is essential, previoulsy marriages didnt break down, they endured and became dysfunctional,
Nowadays these dysfunctional relationships end in divorce it is a new thing in this society and it must be dealt with, parents who have not divorced cant teach us how to manage and parents who did divorce normally didnt have the resorces vailable to help them cope.....
Nowadays we can take steps to deal with this new part of life and it is hightly recomended that children and parents go into some form councilling so they can heal move on with little or no conflict or baggage.........
Fact of life and Denial is not the answer, while it works it will come back to haunt you when you least expect it | |
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| What's with recently separated men online dating?
Posted: 5/1/2008 1:19:45 AM | I don't know but anyone who is single should be able to use a dating website. And some people get over things much quicker. I was with a lady in serious relationship for 6 weeks went omna date the very next day when we broke up. I;ve been in 6 month relationships ended it and met someone new. Nothing really phases me. Not everything works including marriage for some people ebcuase they rush into it. What scares me is all the single parents on these dating sites. I saw thsi one girl who was 21 and has 3 kids! And others as young as 18 with a child. Then you got women in their mid to late 20's with children as old as 7-13 years old. Dont; people wear condoms anymore? ever hear of an abortion? I love children but am too sensible to ahve any before I am financially able to support them.
I think its wrong to bring kids intot he world when you cannot provide for them or even provide for yourself. Forget about that religious stuff too ebcuase if they followed the religion they would not ahve pre-marital sex int he first place as abortion is not an argument about right to life its an argument against sex. And this world is over populated with morons as it is. I am pro choice and beleive that it is wrong to raise children you cannot afford. And that they should not be society's burden.
So what's with allt he divorcees and seperated and widows? I really don;t know but they do deserve to be loved just like anyone else so let them go on the dating site but they should have to put it in their profile. And not lie to me as I have been lied to before. | |
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| What's with recently separated men online dating?
Posted: 5/1/2008 3:16:34 AM | I am tired of people who think they are ready to move on and can't get over holding on. I want something serious - so please stay away!
While I agree with you, that newly separated, or even newly divorced people are not good dating prospects, you really can't mandate what they can and cannot do. It's their life. Many of them have been very lonely for a very long time in a bad marriage.
It's one of the problems of online dating. In the real world, you get to know someone gradually. When you learn they're newly divorced you might keep 'em on the back burner, watching for signs that they're finally over it, but you wouldn't jump into dating with them. In the online world, by the time you find out the ink isn't dried yet, or they haven't even filed for divorce (just separated), you're out on a date already. | |
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| What's with recently separated men online dating?
Posted: 5/1/2008 12:35:34 PM | | i don't even consider a separated person single cause legally there still married and obviously still have some things to deal with on that end of things and i won't be part of there life while doing so....sorry i'm no being rebound cause your part of a sh!ty marriage | |
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| What's with recently separated men online dating?
Posted: 5/1/2008 12:58:47 PM | [When one gets jilted, the MOST important thing is to spend time with someone who wants to be with them]
I agree that this is ONE way to feel better about ones self...but this is so unfair to the other party, it's basically using them as a comfort, what can the "jilted" person,who's feelin like sh** about themself truly offer to another?? Most of the time they have NO trust for the opposite gender, until they've gone thru the steps of healing from the loss of a commited relationship, they are really not ready to give what they don't have.
But to give my opinion, this is why alot of recently separated women/men jump into dating too soon, to get their self esteem boosted. | |
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| What's with recently separated men online dating?
Posted: 5/1/2008 2:27:00 PM | | It could also be that the partner who is dating left the marriage emotionally long before any sort of physical separation and feels no obligation to remain alone under the guise of their vows. | |
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| separated men dating
Posted: 3/1/2009 9:15:36 PM | onecoolgirl,
you mentioned chatting in the forums- i'm curious what forums would you suggest where it seems like you found someone cool like that?
Truthbeknown | |
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| What's with recently separated men online dating?
Posted: 3/1/2009 10:02:51 PM | its not only men, its women too, had it once, got hurt when I found out.
won't do it again ever or put ever myself in a similar situation. Unless your fully available
STAY THE F*** AWAY FROM ME !!!!
is my policy. and to that I stick | |
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swyt01
| | Joined: 1/11/2011
Msg: 166 | |
| What's with recently separated men online dating?
Posted: 1/15/2011 6:05:41 PM | | I think it comes down to you need to have better conversations with the people you are trying to met find out more about them before trying to date them. It is not a very fair comment to say recently seperated people are not ready to date, we all need to move on and the only way to do that is to put yourself out there. (you are not allowed to file for a divorce until you have been seperated for at least one year, then it can take months for the divorce to come through) So you expect these people to put their lives on hold whilst waiting for the legallity of it to be final. That is a very selfish attitude. Every deserves to start again and only that person will know if they are ready by putting them selves out there. It is not the easiest thing in the world to do after being in a relationship for a long period of time, it is scary and down right confusing as the dating game has changed a lot since these people had to go through it. So i suggest look at your profile and what your looking for and make sure you know more about the person before organising to meet. | |
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| What's with recently separated men online dating?
Posted: 12/18/2012 2:29:09 PM | Uh? I am not even sure how to answer your question. I am very recently separated. Like a month, but I have spent that last 3 years trying to save a very bad situation, so doesn't that count at all.In my case It's not like everything went sour a week ago and I am out trying this week. It's been over for a long time, and now that we are separate , I would like to meet someone (yes of the female persuasion) who does not make me feel bad, maybe even good. to go had fun again. Isn't that why we date and want to meet someone new, so we can have fun with them? I can understand if you went on a date and the guy ranted about his ex the whole time, but if he genuinely tried to have fun with you, it seems like holding a legal technicality against is just hurting you. Usually when a relationship ends, all the great things you do for the other person seem to be ignored by them. They can't even see your good sides and vice versa. You might meet a really cool guy who really appreciates you're kindness, smile and sexiness, due to the fact that he has been putting a lot of effort out for someone who would not and could not notice. You might end up being a recipient of some really heartfelt effort to connect.
You wrote "I want something serious - so please stay away!" seems like a recipe for disaster to me. Can I say, I want something serious too, but not as an ultimatum. I want to be serious with someone who genuinely wants to enjoy me and for that we may have to actually get to know each other first. Enjoy the moment and the process or it seems to me you are setting yourself up to fail.
Let me ask you? When you went on your first date ever, did you leave the house saying "This guy better be serious about a relationship or I am outta here, or did you go out thinking " I hope I have fun tonight?" I know what I thought and it certainly was not the former.
So pffffffft to you! I'm recently separated, the papers aren't final yet but they might as well be, so I am going to go out and meet woman, meet new people, have fun, go do fun things, and yes date online cause it's a great way to start.
Last thing, all these dating sites have a place to state your status. If a guy says he's divorced and is actually still seeing someone else, well I'm sorry for you. That sucks and yes he is a dishonest prick. But if you pick someone who won't say or says he is separated and not divorced yet and that does not sound good to you, then take some advice and pick someone else. Me, I put on my profile that I am legally separated. Take it at face value. That does not necessarily mean " I am separated and secretly pining for my ex." because I most certainly am not. It my case, you could not trick or pay me into seeing her in a romantic way ever again, no matter what. Uh...Thats why I am getting a divorce.
Lighten up sweetie! | |
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| What's with recently separated men online dating?
Posted: 12/18/2012 5:38:29 PM | | What's with your question? Usually, the marriage was long over before the separation. What the hell would you want to wait for ? I am not having any luck here, but I am not looking for a relationship. I admit I don't have a pic. My RN wife of 25 years is already dating a bar hookup. I will probably through in the towel on this internet crap. I think all of these women who are husband hunting are nuts. They should have a dating site for smokers. Yuck Yuck. Same as saying that you have a mouth full of shit. I thought I would be fighting off chicks with a stick by now. I am not holding on to the bee - otch I became tethered to in 1987. Was married in a Southern Fried Baptist Church in Jackson, TN. I am very ready to fondle and grope some pretty lady. Not interested in scoping out someone to open a joint checking account with. Good God. | |
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| What's with recently separated men online dating?
Posted: 12/18/2012 5:46:08 PM | eh.. i am sure separated people need to "get out there"... and i may even be willing to date one.. yet...
I am not so sure they are ready to be a LTR for me... (or a str).. :)) | |
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| What's with recently separated men online dating?
Posted: 12/19/2012 11:46:18 AM |
Let me ask you? When you went on your first date ever, did you leave the house saying "This guy better be serious about a relationship or I am outta here, or did you go out thinking " I hope I have fun tonight?"
Sadly, my dear man, many of the women on here think exactly this "serious about a relationship" when they go on a first date, h*ll they think it when they go for the first meet. The expectations I've seen expressed will amaze you, and it's why a lot of the posters talk about rejection and heart break. They do it to themselves, mind you, but they don't see it that way. Good luck - nothing like being free after being unhappy for years. | |
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