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| You wanna know my view on how relationships work?
Posted: 11/2/2005 11:20:49 PM | Hey Blast, I think you are wrong. I love the part about the journey, I believe that as well. As for the dating being detrimental to lasting love....nope. There is a very important distinction between knowing you have options and choosing to love someone. I have been casually dating for some time and recently met a woman who blew me away. Falling in love was not only the last thing on my mind, I was dead set against it!
For the first time in my life I have met a woman that I do want to be around forever....obviously, no one can know the future but I know I want a future with this woman and the women I've dated in the past don't take anything at all away from my feelings for my girlfriend.
I used the tree analogy to describe our relationship the other day:
Together we planted a seed. With time, some water and a little sunlight that seed will sprout into a sapling. It will send out roots deep into the soil to gather water and in time it will not need so much help but will gather it's own sustenence. As it grows tall and strong and spreads its' branches wider, it will collect more sunlight and again be more self sufficient. Right now the tiny sappling needs help and care to grow tall and strong but in time it will provide shade and shelter.
A storm that blows through may threaten to destroy the sappling but when that storm passes the sappling is still there, still clinging on and soonafter is taller and stronger than before. The next storm isn't as scary and the little tree knows to cling on tight and wait it out. Eventually the mighty oak will barely notice such storms..... | |
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| You wanna know my view on how relationships work?
Posted: 11/12/2005 7:17:32 AM | i like that one.. lol.
to energeticman: you forgot passion.... a good lasting relationship needs everything you said.. but also needs passion.
and to the guy who started this thread, and to everyone who has replied to it: everyone has their own views on how relationships work.. i mean sure the guy who started this's theory is well f***ed up, but we are all different people and while a lot of our opinions overlap, no one has exactly the same view as the next person.  | |
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| You wanna know my view on how relationships work?
Posted: 11/12/2005 7:27:31 AM | "Reality" is the key word... And, I learned that the hard way... Has anyone been in a relationship that has lasted more than, say, 15 years>? Give it a try. Living with another person, plus having children, will be the hardest thing you'll ever do.. Yeah, it's all so romantic the first year or two---then REALITY hits..
I absolutely admire people who can stick it out and still make it work.. But, from what I've seen, it happens to almost everyone and anyone who's been involved in a ((very)) long term relationship... The key is to remember, if you work hard, you can get that "romance" back...
It's hard work and one/both people can easily become complacent and take the other for granted. It's easy to talk about, harder to make it all work~~
Okay, now that I've depressed everyone, I'll stop~~  | |
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Zael
| | Joined: 1/7/2006
Msg: 33 | |
| You wanna know my view on how relationships work?
Posted: 2/26/2006 11:27:04 PM | | Well to continue what Raven had to say, I find it strange that we all have different views, and its true, the only perfect relationship is the one that makes you happy. I've learned the hardway a few times, and well if it makes you happy and its what you know you want, your really on the right track to the perfect relationship... Some people like the one night stand deal... So if you hook up with someone of equal interest, the odds of it working better are higher, even if its for a short time, hell you could be f***buddies even if thats what you think of as the perfect relationship, or, you could want the one person who cares for you and shows you respect and love... It can go so many ways, who's to really judge if the ideal relationship is really sleezy or wrong? When you look at it, if your happy and you don't hurt anyone in the process, whats wrong with it? Of course thats not to say it always happens that way... But just think about it, if someone wants a one nighter, and they get someone after the same deal, is it wrong? Two negatives make a possitive and all that ShyT! | |
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| You wanna know my view on how relationships work?
Posted: 5/10/2006 5:09:47 PM | Let me know how you do in another 40yrs with that thought and how many "fish" are chasing for you then. lol
Have you ever thought you could still have adventure, change and challenges, but facing them with your partner? | |
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| You wanna know my view on how relationships work?
Posted: 5/10/2006 5:24:53 PM | | I think relationships work when both are working toward a similar goal.(that fixer upper house in the country) ...if there are no natural levels to achieve and grow emotionally..it sputters out...and goes into a nosedive to nowheresville..and they get back on the personals to look for a replacement.. | |
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| You wanna know my view on how relationships work?
Posted: 5/10/2006 5:30:12 PM | Let me know how you do in another 40yrs with that thought and how many "fish" are chasing for you then. lol I'll be dead in 40 years, genius. Any women chasing me then will be after the gold fillings in my teeth so they can pawn them. Some of the people who post in these threads are so amusing. | |
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| You wanna know my view on how relationships work?
Posted: 5/10/2006 6:37:21 PM | You have your mind set...Being single may work for you, as with all your negative feelings, it may be all you get.
My point being in 40yrs...you'll be old and grey sitting on the front porch watching the birds...alone.
In another post..."man makes money, woman spends money"....you need to find a new type. Stop going for what you've always had to start getting something you've never experienced. Not all woman are gold diggers. | |
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| You wanna know my view on how relationships work?
Posted: 5/11/2006 4:11:23 PM | I stand by my observation of how relationships (male and female) work. And it is politically incorrect as hell and obviously some women might attack me for saying it, or at least emphatically disagree. Bare in mind that I am not being antagonistic, I'm just being honest. I've lived all over the country and observed people all over. This is pretty much how it works and guys need to get used to it and stop getting their facts from movies and TV. Women basically judge guys based on the following qualities:
1) Is he: Tall and good looking.
2) Does he: Make over $75,000 (preferably $150,000).
3) Is he: Charming; socially adept. Provides a sense of security.
Women pick guys out that have some or all of these qualities. With different women, different qualities take priority. Some women will date any loser who knows just how to to tell her whatever she wants to hear (see number 3). When they are with one guy and another pops up that convinces her he has more of these qualities then she will usually dump the guy she is with and "upgrade" to the newer guy. In older times there was the threat of being ostracised by society for disloyalty to the family unit. Not so much anymore.
Statistically very few guys have all three (guessing maybe 5 to 10 percent). So, a guy with just two of those qualities usually does pretty well.
Belooking:
Assuming I'm alive and not senile, in 40 years I'll be probably be reading a good book, composing my memoirs, or painting. You seem to think that being "alone" makes one inferior. Lady, I'm not part of your "herd". The fact that you think I even care about whether not you approve of what I say makes me giggle. And yah, not all women judge men solely by appearance and income. There are exceptions, just like there are four leaf clovers and those apes that can use sign language.
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| You wanna know my view on how relationships work?
Posted: 5/12/2006 8:49:52 PM | I have to totally agree with a lot of what you've said. I have noticed the same thing with women (and men for that matter) favoring some people over others, by qualities that are not directly there personality....but I am simply suggesting that you to keep an open mind that not all women are like this...and in fact by personal experience, I've dated a few guys which do not fit any of the above factors you have listed (except for wanting tall, as I am 6'...so gimmie credit for wanting that one! lol)
And if you accept being single in years to come, I'm happy for you, but you seem to be rather bitter, which is why I posted my thoughts...because that's what we do in this site, as sometimes to try and view another perspective can often be helpful...whether or not someone "cares" or disagrees makes no difference to me. | |
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| You wanna know my view on how relationships work?
Posted: 5/13/2006 11:27:50 AM |
keep an open mind that not all women are like this Yes, some women are openly gay and therefor don't depend on their feminine gifts to coast through life.
I am 6'...so gimmie credit for wanting that one! Nope. You just admitted you go by the formula. As I said, different of the three criteria take priority with different women.
whether or not someone "cares" or disagrees makes no difference to me. Good. | |
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| You wanna know my view on how relationships work?
Posted: 6/16/2006 1:45:18 AM | Yes I think a total commitment to one person can last. Do I think a purely romantic relationship can last? No, it would be impossible.
For a total commitment between a man and a woman to last, they would have to have all three types of love for each other.
1. Ture, unconditional love: The same type of love a parent feels for their child.
2. Friendship: The same type of love a person feels for a friend.
3. Last and least important: Romantic love or sexual love.
In addition both would have to want the same basic things out of life. Having common goals gives them something to work towards together. They would both have to be number one to each other in their heart and soul. Yes there would be times when a child, parent or other's needs would come first, but you have to be each others most important person in life. | |
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