|
|
|
|
|
| Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 10/26/2005 10:14:46 PM | | At least 2 of the 'decent men' are cats.. so. Heh. Decent man numero 3 is an actual man. | |
|
| Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 10/26/2005 10:20:47 PM | I'm impressed Jim! nice rebuttal!
I tip my hat to you my boy, well said.
--Tony-- | |
|
| Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 10/26/2005 10:33:45 PM | Offitjimmy
are you sure your 23? LOL, you seem to be right on the ball
very impressive, wise and i have to say youre a cutie too | |
|
| Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 10/27/2005 12:25:24 AM |
Really i dont give a rats a$$ if you believe me or not, my mandate isnt to justify anything to you
Ive read your profile Ace and i can see where these hypocrisy issues occur, anyone who claims chases crack house whores and best friend girlfriend for dessert ,either has a poor sense of humor or is just one sick f**king person, so dont lecture me on what women think?
when guys like you wouldnt even look at a plain average girl or BBW or give her the time of day, hypocisy works both ways Ace
and spare me with the negative scenerio, the only thing negative here is your perception , your personal experience and maybe a few other guys who want to blame the world for your shortcummings
When I stated I didn't believe you, I meant I think you're a liar and a hypocrite.
What's with the condescending "Ace" crap? My profile was created quickly and if you can't read the sarcasm within, you have problems. "Guys like me?" LOL. You know nothing about me.  You might want to use a spell checker. If you're going to lecture, it helps if you at least appear like you're somewhat coherent. 'Another queen of insinuations and insults. | |
|
| Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 10/27/2005 8:26:02 AM | Just ran across this and thought it applied to what many are saying here.I'm afraid it's come across that when we say,"Women don't want it a nice",some readers think we believe women want to be abused.That's not what we're saying.I cut and pasted this from DeAngelo,so I submit it here for you to agree or disagree and if the latter,feel free to pick it apart and show where you disagree.
WHAT WOMEN "REALLY MEAN"...
I hope you're sitting down... because what I'm
about to share with you will change how you view
women and dating.
I'm about to take you "behind the scenes" in
the female mind.
I'm going to give you a perspective that most
men never see or realize.
Unfortunately for most guys, not seeing things
the way I'm about to share with you, keeps them
trapped in their own little world of failure.
If you pay careful attention to the things I'm
about to reveal to you, you'll definitely have
more success with women.
THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN WORDS AND THE REAL
WORLD...
Have you ever heard a woman say something like:
"I want a guy who is sensitive."
"I want a guy who's in touch with his feelings."
"I want a guy who's a good communicator."
"I want a guy who is strong."
"I want a guy who is sexy."
...?
Of course you have.
Women say this stuff all the time.
One of my favorites is:
"I want a REAL MAN."
I love that one.
In the past, when I'd hear women say, "I want a
REAL MAN", I had NO IDEA what the hell they were
talking about.
It almost didn't make sense.
But keep in mind, even though these things
don't always make sense to us guys, they make
PERFECT sense to women.
Here's the problem...
When a woman says one of these things, she
actually MEANS something that is different from
what a guy would mean if he said the same words.
Let me explain.
If a guy says "I'm going to stay home and relax
today", he probably means that he's going to stay
home, watch some sports, drink a beer, look at
pictures of women on the internet, and order a
pizza.
If a WOMAN says that she's going to stay home
and relax, she's probably NOT going to watch some
sports, drink a beer, look at pictures of women on
the internet, and order a pizza.
IMPORTANT NOTICE: If you are reading this right
now and you are a woman who watches sports, drinks
beer, looks at pictures of the women on the
internet, and orders pizza to relax, then contact
me immediately at the email address below. And
send pictures.
Back to what I was saying...
Women are DIFFERENT from men. And the words
they use often don't mean what they SOUND like
they mean.
So, the FIRST thing that you have to get
through your head is that just because a woman
SAYS something to you, doesn't mean that it means
what you THINK it means.
Catch my meaning?
THE BIG SECRET SHE ISN'T TELLING YOU
There's a little secret that women never happen
to mention when they're describing what they want
in a man.
Unfortunately, for all of us good guys who are
trying to be what women want... and hoping that if
we try hard enough to please women that they'll
like us... this little secret is causing us a LOT
of trouble.
The SECRET is that women ONLY want the things
that they're asking for from a guy who already has
about 100 other qualities that they never mention.
In other words, if a woman says, "I want a man
who is a good communicator", what she REALLY means
is:
"I want a guy who already has his life together,
is interesting, unpredictable, dominant, funny,
healthy, charismatic, confident, and loyal... who
is ALSO a good communicator."
The REALITY is that when a woman says one of
these "I want a guy who" statements, she actually
has an IDEAL guy in mind, who ALSO happens to be a
good communicator.
She's NOT imagining Homer Simpson sitting on
his couch reading a book on communication.
The reality of this situation is that what
women REALLY want is a man who makes them feel the
emotional and physical response that I like to
call ATTRACTION.
They want a man who makes them FEEL IT.
But, most women either can't describe the
things that actually make her feel ATTRACTION, or
they don't WANT to have to describe them, because
they want a man who already IS those things...
without having to learn them.
Think about it.
If you were hiring a bodyguard, would you want
one that said, "Yeah, I can be a bodyguard. Just
give me some time to learn..." or would you want
one that already KNEW how to kick ass anytime,
anywhere without having to learn?
Duh.
Well, the same goes with women.
They don't WANT a guy that they have to train.
If you don't already have the UNIVERSAL
FOUNDATION of what appeals to women, then no
amount of changing and improving things, like your
communication and sensitivity, is going to help
you.
WHAT IS A REAL MAN?
Lately I've been thinking a lot about the idea
of a "Real Man".
You hear both women and men using the term.
But what does it actually MEAN?
And is it important?
Well, after thinking about this particular
topic for a long time, I've come to the conclusion
that it is a VERY important topic.
At this point, I believe that a REAL MAN is
this "ideal" that women imagine when they're
saying "I want a guy who is sensitive".
They're thinking of the REAL MAN, and then
they're imagining him ALSO being sensitive.
There are a lot of aspects to this REAL MAN.
Here are a few that are important:
-Status
-Lack of Insecurities
-Standards
-Experience
-Humor
-Unpredictability
-Leadership
-A Challenge
...and the list goes on.
It's actually not easy to describe a REAL MAN
in a few sentences... but I'll tell you what... a
woman can recognize one INSTANTLY.
THE MISTAKE MEN MAKE
Now, a common mistake that men make is taking
something that a woman SAYS that she wants, and
doing it TOO MUCH, thinking that if "A little bit
is good, then more must be better".
For instance, a woman SAYS that she likes guys
who are "thoughtful". So you go out and buy her a
bunch of gifts, give her cute cards every time you
see her, and call her all the time to tell her
that you miss her.
What happens?
She leaves you for her jerk ex-boyfriend.
Huh?
This would be kind of like a woman saying, "My
favorite food is chocolate" and then you thinking
it would be good to feed her chocolate for every
meal just because it's her favorite... or adding
chocolate to every single dish you make for her
from now on... and forgetting that 97% of what
she eats still needs to be OTHER FOODS.
Let me land the plane for you.
Women don't MEAN what you THINK they mean when
they talk about what they want in a man.
And if you take the things women say too
literally, you're going to wind up shooting
yourself in the foot.
WHAT WOMEN REALLY MEAN...
So let me "decode" what women "really" mean
when they say common things.
Consider this your own personal "female
language translator". Refer to it often.
WHEN A WOMAN SAYS...
"I want a guy who is sensitive."
WHAT SHE REALLY MEANS IS...
"I want a guy who is busy doing his own thing in
life, who has goals and objectives... who has
passion for things. If we're out together, he
always keeps me on my toes, and I'm always
wondering what's going to happen next. He's
challenging, interesting, and funny. I would
really like it if he was also sensitive enough to
know when I need a hug, or to be held, or when I
want him to make love to me."
Does this make sense?
Again, she's not imagining a picture of a
boring, predictable, Wussy who is sharing his hurt
feelings because he's so "sensitive".
Big difference.
WHEN A WOMAN SAYS...
"I want a guy who is in touch with his
feelings."
WHAT SHE REALLY MEANS IS...
"I want a guy who is strong-willed, and who
doesn't get upset about petty things... a guy who
can deal with the fact that I freak out
emotionally sometimes... and who knows how to be
cool when things are tough. But I also want him
to be in touch with his feelings so that:
1) He doesn't repress his emotions and then
eventually kill 10 people in his workplace, and
2) When he's intimate with me, and he feels a
passionate rush... he'll grab me and make love to
me like a beast!"
What she's NOT doing is making a picture of a
meek, afraid guy who calls all the time to ask "Do
you like me? Because I sure like you".
WHEN A WOMAN SAYS:
"I want a guy who's a good communicator."
WHAT SHE REALLY MEANS IS...
"I want a guy who doesn't talk all the time,
because he knows how to let me know what's on his
mind without using words. I want the kind of guy
that can touch me in a certain way and I feel
tingles all over my body. And I want the kind of
guy that can say things in a way that I
understand... not crudely and man-like."
WHAT ABOUT "SEXY"?
You'll often hear women saying that they what a
"Sexy Man".
Now, I USED to think that they meant that they
wanted a PHYSICALLY ATTRACTIVE man when they said
this.
Sometimes this is exactly what they mean when
they use the term "sexy". But I've found that,
most of the time, women mean something TOTALLY
different when they use the term "sexy".
You see, a woman generally bases more of her
life around what she FEELS than a man does.
And the concept of "sexy" is usually used to
describe the way a man makes a woman FEEL than it
is used to describe how HE LOOKS.
Think about women's romance novels for a
moment. Women's romance novels account for about a
fifth of ALL BOOKS SOLD.
What do these books contain?
WORDS.
Words that DESCRIBE things.
Descriptions that make women FEEL things.
My point: If you want to learn how to be a
"sexy man", then the way you LOOK isn't the most
IMPORTANT thing.
I'll tell you something -
Learning the secrets of being a "sexy man" can
be a very rewarding experience.
A lot of guys out there, including me, know
EXACTLY what it's like to be either on a date
with, or in a relationship with a woman who has NO
INTENTION of being with you "physically".
In other words, she's just not feeling that
powerful "sexual" ATTRACTION for you.
And you don't know how to MAKE her feel it.
Well, let me tell you...
Just like all the other things that a woman
"says" that she wants in a man... that most men
don't ever "get", being SEXY is one of the BIG
ONES.
If you understand the secrets of being SEXY,
you will notice that women start to behave VERY
differently around you. | |
|
| Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 10/27/2005 8:27:04 AM | musikmaster
you dont know me to call me a liar so, and since i dont care to know you either.....
have a nice day Ace......................................... | |
|
| Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 10/27/2005 8:36:34 AM | | I'm going by your posts. There's a lot of them. Okay, if you don't like liar, then poseur. Again with the Ace. | |
|
| Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 10/27/2005 8:46:37 AM | I think men and women would have less problems if a) more women actually did that thing about meaning what you say and saying what you mean and if b) men could actually believe that a exists.
Maybe I'll add a c... c) Just because the man is nice/decent doesn't ensure that a woman will want your action. Turning into a bad boy isn't going to make her suddenly change her mind and say, "Oh man, that nasty jackweed is totally for me, nummy". | |
|
yoduh
|
Joined: 10/26/2005
Msg: 434 | |
| Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 10/27/2005 8:48:59 AM | This thread is longer than my e-peen.
All guys, nice, mean, in between, have a hard time unless they good looking, rich, or famous or all of the above. Not a whine, just a funny observation. | |
|
| Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 10/27/2005 8:53:59 AM | yoduh
im begining to see that maybe your right, since ive been on POF i hear that a lot, i guess im lucky I dont have friends that are like that.
The force has been with me for so long LOL. | |
|
| Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 10/27/2005 9:18:25 AM | Hello,
Thanks for the response everyone. And thanks for the compliments Pinkfizz:) but yes i am only 23, i just look 16 in my photo;)
Vanitygirls, how come your moving to the UK?? I'm actually hoping to move to Canada within the next few years, I don't like the way society is heading here in the UK. But i think thats one for a different thread entirely!
Sddude, I'm sorry to hear about your loss man, that's harsh, and I'm not even going to try and imagine how hard that must have been for you. But look at it this way man, you have succeeded in finding such happiness and emotional bliss once before by being your true self, why change that winning formula?
Jim | |
|
sddude
|
Joined: 11/4/2004
Msg: 437 | |
| Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 10/27/2005 9:44:06 AM | Jimmy ,
it does not seem to work , only one out of a million bite , like winning the lottery , maybe in 50 years , I guess everyone thinks that is reasonable . If you had the 200 hundred and so female friends and aquaintances that I have and gotten no real response but just frienship like I have , you would understand . I am in beersports teams , surfing , clubber groups even religiuos organizations , I know alot of people , that does not make the odds better , I am definitely doing something wrong , right so I change it but still the results are not perfect. | |
|
| Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 10/27/2005 9:49:03 AM | OK Taurus,
I took the bait. lol
I think you have already gotten the drift that I am not a David DeAngelo fan. I actually read this article, earlier in the week, on one of DeAngelo’s websites.
He’s a good writer, I love the build up he gives an article, he’s taking you “behind the scenes”….lol, into the laboratory where all the top secret work is done. On line, he’ll give you guys some pointers, but, if you want to know all the secrets, you’ll have to go buy his book$.
I'm going to give you a perspective that most
men never see or realize.
Unfortunately for most guys, not seeing things
the way I'm about to share with you, keeps them
trapped in their own little world of failure.
He then tells you to pay careful attention…..sheeesh.
That sounds a little condescending. How on earth did men survive without DeAngelo revealing all these secrets?
"I want a REAL MAN."
I love that one
I love it too, I can’t remember the last time I’ve heard a woman say “I want a real man”. I thought it went the way of the dodo bird.
. If a guy says "I'm going to stay home and relax
today", he probably means that he's going to stay
home,
I may be odd, but when I say I’m staying home to relax, that’s exactly what I intend to do, whether I watch TV, read a book , or surf the web to find out what Taurus has posted…lol
I’m not sure what DeAngelo thinks we are doing. But I guess every guy who reads his book will now think that all women who make that statement are liars.
THE BIG SECRET SHE ISN'T TELLING YOU
Does DeAngelo have a cape and tights?
if a woman says, "I want a man
who is a good communicator", what she REALLY means
is:
well, actually, when I say I want a man who is a good communicator, that’s exactly what I mean. I’d assume that most people would be intelligent enough to know that I’m not looking for a WELL ROUNDED MAN and not JUST a communicator. If a man described the woman he is looking for with just one word, such as funny, or intelligent, would anyone think that’s all he’s looking for ?
They don't WANT a guy that they have to train.
At long last, David and I agree on something, women do not want a man they have to train, you do that with pets, not people.
Now, a common mistake that men make is taking
something that a woman SAYS that she wants, and
doing it TOO MUCH, thinking that if "A little bit
is good, then more must be better".
For instance, a woman SAYS that she likes guys
who are "thoughtful". So you go out and buy her a
bunch of gifts, give her cute cards every time you
see her, and call her all the time to tell her
that you miss her
When a woman says she likes guys who are thoughtful, she means it. The scenario that David just describes is a guy going overboard, and in the process showing the woman that he has major insecurity issues about himself and with the relationship. She’s may have left and gone to the ex boyfriend, but chances are, she would have left even if there was no ex to run to. There is a happy medium, find it. Use your common sense
WHEN A WOMAN SAYS:
"I want a guy who's a good communicator."
WHAT SHE REALLY MEANS IS...
"I want a guy who doesn't talk all the time,
because he knows how to let me know what's on his
mind without using words. I want the kind of guy
that can touch me in a certain way and I feel
tingles all over my body. And I want the kind of
guy that can say things in a way that I
understand... not crudely and man-like."
Good lord, I can’t believe that guy actually wrote that
Now, I’ll let you guys in on a secret. Most women are intelligent, and when we say we want a good communicator, that’s what we mean. “lets me know what’s on his mind without using words”? Is this guy for real?
You'll often hear women saying that they what a
"Sexy Man".
Now, I USED to think that they meant that they
wanted a PHYSICALLY ATTRACTIVE man when they said
this.
At last I agree with one of his statements. DeAngelo probably took a long time to find out what women meant by “sexy”, because when he asked women, he didn’t believe what they said, he thought they meant something else.
I think I’m the average woman out there, and when I say something, I mean it, there is no hidden secret meaning, and you don’t need DeAngelo to interpret for you.
Guys, instead of buying this guys book, take the money and donate it to a charity. | |
|
sddude
|
Joined: 11/4/2004
Msg: 439 | |
| Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 10/27/2005 9:56:22 AM | | MMMMM so Katherine , what is the secret for women to even be attracted to me instead of loving me like a brother or a cousin or a confidant? | |
|
| Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 10/27/2005 11:39:46 AM | This DeAngelo fella, I've never heard of him, but he strikes me as the stereo typical, street market dealer with the long coat which opens up to display all the watches and "merchandise" hanging inside, "look look i have the little book of womens' secrets".
But with that passage you typed out for us Taurus, it actually sounds as if he is saying (and believes, which is scary) that women talk in some sort of code. Like the Enigma code for example, which he has managed to crack ("and for a small price, you can too")!! He doesn't write conspiracy theories aswell does he by any chance??
[In other words, if a woman says, "I want a man
who is a good communicator", what she REALLY means
is:
"I want a guy who already has his life together,
is interesting, unpredictable, dominant, funny,
healthy, charismatic, confident, and loyal... who
is ALSO a good communicator."]
I'm sorry but...what?? How has he possibly linked being a "good communicator" with a guy that "has his life together, is healthy and loyal??" I really am struggling to understand this, maybe im showing my youth here i don't know. I don't pretend to know everything, far from it, but this makes no sense at all! Also, he is saying that to get a woman, ALL men must be dominant, if that was the case, if ALL men were dominant, no one would be! I think he just picked eight qualities out of a hat and lumped them on a page to go alongside "good communicator" so he sounds as though he knows what he's talking about.
Besides, being a good communicator, he fails to add, is not just about being able to talk to someone, it's about being able to listen too!
Sddude, I know we can probably carry this on all night, but, you say that only one in a million bite, isn't it that one in a million that you want? The one thats stands out to YOU above everyone else and vise versa?? Thats my personal belief anyway :-)
Jim | |
|
sddude
|
Joined: 11/4/2004
Msg: 441 | |
| Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 10/27/2005 11:45:34 AM | | Yeah one in a milion , just for a date too , hahaha not only the one. | |
|
| Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 10/27/2005 11:53:21 AM | yeh fair point, one in a million for a date ratio is puching it a bit! hehe. Still I wouldnt change who you are, change whoe your going after;)
Jim | |
|
| Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 10/27/2005 11:59:14 AM | Katherine
the funny thing about David D'angelo is , Is his disclamer " something along the lines of its my opinion and is for entertainment purposes", to which the men who buys his crap doesnt seem to read that part | |
|
| Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 10/27/2005 1:13:32 PM | This is enough to get a guy confused.
How about just be ourselves and try to be a good listener cause women love to talk.
Women do love confindence in a man and not knowing what's going to happen next.
But I often see women writing in these single's sites that they want a "real" man and are looking for their soulmate.
I'm wondering if a couple of ladies could clarify what a soulmate is ?
They like a good kisser and a take charge guy that is a challenge but who also knows the right time to be a "sweetie".
Show her a sunset she'll never forget and she'll always remember who showed it to her. | |
|
| Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 10/27/2005 1:31:37 PM | Sometimes I think a woman is more concerned about what a man can do TO her than not what a man can do FOR her.
Now what would the proverbial nice guy/man do?
Men get depressed when they see lots of women and he can't find one woman
Women get depressed when they see lots of men and they all want her or when she sees one man she likes and he doesn't like her. | |
|
| Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 10/27/2005 2:26:06 PM | Pink, here's the disclaimer, I found it at the bottom of several of his articles on the net.
'By accepting and reading this article you agree that: You understand this to be an opinion and not professional advice, it is only to be used for personal entertainment purposes, you are solely responsible for any of the ideas concepts, and content and will hold David DeAngelo harmless’
DeAngelo does not think women say what they mean, and he thinks we need an interpreter. As a woman, I will now interpret what DeAngelo is saying in the above statement. I mean, what his lawyers are saying.
" You understand this to be an opinion "..translation, .. personal opinion, really does not mean much, it is not a survey, it’s not a scientific study, there are no proven facts, it’s only opinion. You have one, I have one, we all have one, the only difference is DeAngelo is getting paid for his opinion, and we are not.
: not professional advice".......translation, he is not qualified to give professional advice and he has to put that in there so he doesn’t get his butt sued.
"only to be used for personal entertainment purposes"......translation, buy my book, go out and try it, have fun…… if it doesn’t work, I'm working on another book.
“you are solely responsible for any of the ideas concepts, and content and will hold David DeAngelo harmless’……..translation, hey, I’m just telling you my opinion, don’t sue me if it doesn’t work for you, it’s only meant to be entertaining,, …….. I have no professional qualifications, what the hell do you want for $14.99.
Moral of the Story? Always read the fine print | |
|
| Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 10/27/2005 2:50:15 PM | katherine
LMAO oh girl you did it, i couldnt of said any better
and what kills me is men actually buys the book and uses some of the lines
i cant tell how many times ive heard from men who uses some of these techniques. | |
|
sddude
|
Joined: 11/4/2004
Msg: 448 | |
| Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 10/27/2005 2:54:08 PM | women all of you be quiet about this !!!!!! It is a secret
it is supposed to be a secret , you have many books and gurus about relationships , guys never mention them , let us have our hunting women bible , just one without making us all embarassed .
Now who is this guy? where can I get his book ?  | |
|
| Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 10/27/2005 4:17:02 PM | Ha your funny Dude. And for the most part your right. Im a nice guy until its time not to be nice anymore than I can be a read ass. I treat people like they treat me and i could care less if she thinks she is hot or not or what she thinks of me. If women what a guy they can led around then they better keep clear of me.... Dont tolerate pushy bossy women... who needs that.
Nice guys finish last so the hell with that... Im taking whats mine...LOL | |
|
| Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 10/27/2005 4:42:53 PM | Dude.
lol,
you may have your women hunting bible,
and I understand you being embarassed about that bible. I would be too if it were my bible. | |
|
|
| Page 18 of 23
|
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23 |
|
Home
login 
