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| Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 10/28/2005 11:46:08 AM | sddude
what is up with that bro? you are sounding a little soft one way and trying to be hardcore the next
Be your self your true self, I met a amazing gal who im proud to call as a friend, her name here is Pinkfizz, and we had a great chat when we met we, went for a walk, and she introduced me to her friend the next night,and were going out on the weekend, she told me just be my self and i was , im not a bad boy nor am i a doormat, wussy type of guy
Dont pour your heart on the forum bro, take some advice from the good folks on here and meet some women as friends you never know if they have other friends, you see what im saying bro? | |
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sddude
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Joined: 11/4/2004
Msg: 478 | |
| Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 10/28/2005 11:53:42 AM | | I am actually the soft guy without being a fake or pretend but that is too lame for women . | |
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sddude
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Joined: 11/4/2004
Msg: 479 | |
| Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 10/28/2005 11:54:49 AM | | yeah I say too much here , I guess I will be a little quiet and just observe more . | |
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| Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 10/28/2005 12:21:20 PM | sddude
just meet a nice woman for friends first with no expectations and you will find you will be more relaxed, listen im not GQ material, but i know i have a good heart and im not a doormat, my friend Pink and I met and I was my self and we had a great time, 6 months ago i couldnt meet someone like her but im glad i decided not to be a wuss anymore and be my self
Just have fun Dude, its a dating site. | |
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| Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 10/28/2005 12:43:54 PM |
just meet a nice woman for friends first with no expectations
BINGO!!!!!! | |
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| Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 10/28/2005 1:05:29 PM | Sddude,
Bigleafsfan is spot on man! Go out and meet people without expectations, and be positive about yourself! Most of your posts are negative man, so keep yourself upbeat. take it easy dude.
Jim | |
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sddude
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Joined: 11/4/2004
Msg: 484 | |
| Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 10/28/2005 4:11:20 PM | that is what I do , most of the time when I am myself , try to chill and have fun but I guess I cannot even try more than that I guess .... yes I know this a dating site .
I know to try to make it simple but I guess you people do not uinderstand where I am comming from ...
oh well ... | |
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| Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 10/28/2005 5:21:57 PM | | So are we all going to stop being so nice and positive on our future dates? | |
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| Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 10/29/2005 12:13:20 AM | Sddude.
I didn't read every one of your posts but maybe you should try to make a move early (first date) before they start to see you like a brother. You may end up sleeping with alot of women and breaking up with them before you meet the right one. If that's not a problem for you I say give it a shot. | |
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| Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 10/29/2005 12:16:46 AM | Stop being a NICE guy
Start being a Nice guy
edit: forgot to put the quotations around "start".... | |
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| Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 10/29/2005 8:15:30 AM | | The bottom line on this whole dating thing is to STOP THINKING about it.It takes kind of a zen approach.There is no working instruction manual,really.If you just work WITH nature,it'll all fall into place.You can't make it happen and I think that's where alot of guys fail when they approach it with,"How do I make this girl like me?".when it should be,"Let nature take the course and if all is right,allow her to like me".Sounds simple but it's hard for alot of guys. | |
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| Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 10/29/2005 8:22:53 AM | That whole zen approach never works for me. I just wound up seeming either boring or uninterested I guess, so I wind up either with another friend or getting blown off lol. | |
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| They don't want nice.
Posted: 10/29/2005 8:34:25 AM | | It took me a long time to come to the same conclusion that JayJay2006 did but I agree with him wholeheartedly. I was raised by a single Mom who had rotten boyfriends. That made me work extra hard to be a "NICE GUY". I'd always hear the same thing from Women: "You're so nice", "You're too good to be true", "No one's ever treated me this way" and so forth. But that was all from Women who left me for someone else in the end. I used to wear my heart on my sleeve but now I wear short sleeves and my heart is in my chest where it belongs. Nowadays, I ration out the niceness in very small doses. Courtesy such as opening doors and pulling out chairs are a given but the Women have to earn all the rest of the niceness. And you know what? It works. I didn't read this in a book or magazine. Experience is the harshest but best teacher. I spent a lot of time trying to understand why I'd get kicked to the curb for someone who wasn't as nice as I used to be. I'm not advocating being a jerk to Women. Treat people as you would be treated. I'm saying that Men should be Men and leave the emoting and sensitivity to the Woman's girlfriends and Oprah. So, my fellow Men, don't be a jerk, No means NO but be a Man. That's what every Woman on this site is looking for. A Man. | |
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| Who we are.
Posted: 10/29/2005 9:06:19 AM | | Men have been told that we need to more of the following: sensitive, understanding, open with our feelings, nicer, hairless, exfoliated, non judgemental and above all non-threatening. Well guess what? There's already a group of people like that; a Woman's girlfriends. Women love Men because, ready?, WE'RE NOT LIKE WOMEN. Women like challenges. Women like to learn about YOU so ration yourself out and always keep things in reserve. They, however, love to talk about themselves and their friends, so just listen to what they say(and don't) and you'll learn what you need to know. Have you noticed how so many Women's online dating profiles read like novels? I don't need to meet you if I know everything from your profile do I? People are like books; you discover them one chapter at a time with each new chapter building on the previous but adding something new. A Woman does not want a Man to pour his heart out about all his feelings, doubts and fears. That's what her girlfriends are for. Men have fears and doubts too but we have our guy friends, priests, counsellors for that. TO ALL MY FELLOW MEN OUT THERE: IT'S NOT YOUR CAR, IT'S NOT YOUR GADGETS, IT'S NOT YOUR POSSESSIONS, IT'S YOU. BE A MAN. IT'S WHAT WE ARE. | |
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| They don't want nice.
Posted: 10/29/2005 9:08:14 AM | | So what are you people trying to say that you can be too nice.I know this sick logic came out in the 90s.If this is the case then that would be the same logic as Your not mean enough for me....We live in a very sick society....And what i have seen and heard i am glad i do not date nomore.This forum takes the cake.Back in my 20s this sick logic came out...Either a person is good for you or bad for you.PERIOD!.....There is no middle ground.Sorry life does not work that way.Unless you are on drugs and live in the land of oz...People on this thread say they want to treat people they want to be treated.I would say good in my opinion....Then if that is the case,Then why put games in the equsion.(like your to nice)What a bunch of bullshit...They would be like saying in many examples....Oh i got to much gas in my car...Or i got to much love in my life...Or a 70 year old man would say i got to much hair on my head...Or a man would say to a woman you are to beutiful for me...Or a high school student would say i am to smart for college..ETC...ETC...YOU PEOPLE MAKE ME SICK!!!I can understand why the divorce rate is so high and climbing..It is pitiful! | |
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| Who we are.
Posted: 10/29/2005 9:08:59 AM | I don't want a man who is at all like me...
I want a man who is himself... | |
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| They don't want nice.
Posted: 10/29/2005 9:14:51 AM | ^^^ good post "tarheel man"
There is nothing wrong with the "nice guy", it's the "push over" who finishes last. The logic that a "nice guy" should be a "bad boy" is lacking just that...LOGIC! Just be who you are. It's really not that complicated. | |
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| They don't want nice.
Posted: 10/29/2005 9:30:52 AM | Well i cant say im an expert on dating to begin with, i only date girls that realy apeal to me not just because there smoking hot but they have to know what they want and have a certain somthing that im looking for.. if your not the best looking but still decent i wouldnt turn you down for a walk or a coffee, so far im doing ok altho i do agree with bieng carful about showing how you feal to girls, i found that the second you say anything about that there of running so fast, and thats a hard thing for me cause im just about the paper cut out of the "nice guy", i agree with a nother guy that posted earlyer you shouldnt wear your heart on your sleave.. put some short sleaves on.. as far as bieng a total ass to get women to notice you, i will never agree with that, the girls that go for those type of guys are just that.. GIRLS.. they realy dont want anything serious, you can live your whole life and you will get old but you might never mature.
Also if your willing to change your self just to get a women then your probly not even ready to date in the first place. i would say im independant and confident in who iam and im proud that im a "nice guy" .. i will never change for anybody even if i die alone.. there are worse things then bieng alone. il say it once more .. if your chaning your self to get a women then your not confident in who you are in the first place .. so eventualy even if your Act dose get you a women .. you wont be able to keep up your act forever and you will end up devorced, broke and alone (and probly fat and ugly too LOL)
i know what im looking for and i know its not in a girl that would jump all over a guy that treats her like shit, i look for ladies that want to be treated like equals and love to have a good time and laugh all the time
To me bieng a Man is not only bieng confident and strong but bieng sensitive and suportive also bieng in touch with your fealings isnt a bad thing its a good thing but you also have to know how to control your self also, There are times i can be a total rock of emotions and others were you can just look in my eye and know what im fealing. but i can control it also.
so Be self controled in all that you do Men and you will sucseed in all that you want and that aplies with all thing in life also
i think there is abit of confusion between a "nice guy" and a stool pigeon or a speed bump. speed bumps are guys that are very lonley and cant control them selves the second somebody gives them a glance.
any ways girls send me a Msg and we can talk  | |
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| Men and communication.
Posted: 10/29/2005 9:42:53 AM | | Ok, Tarheelman, you obviously disagree with me and that's ok. My comments are born from my first hand experiences and I stand by them. Learning how not to be " the too nice guy" is not a game, it's common sense from my hard earned perspective. Note that I never said to be deceitful, rude or abusive. Something you may have missed(perhaps because I didn't emphasize it enough) is listening to what a Woman says. The most important, yet most overlooked, part of communication is listening not just hearing. Men often fall into the trap of teaching themselves to be good talkers but we end up as poor listeners. Please note that when I say "listening to a Woman" I don't mean obeying or conforming to her. I'm saying listen and remember what she says (and leaves out) like we recall sports stats. I think, again from my own experiences, that a Man should always keep certain things to himself. When you have nothing to say, say nothing because it's better than babbling on just to keep the conversation going with a Woman. Lastly, I don't pretend that my perspective is a universal one but clearly I'm not the only Man here who has come face to face with this issue. | |
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| Men and communication.
Posted: 10/29/2005 10:12:15 AM | | Look.A woman knows in a short period of time what she wants from you.It does not take all this and that...If you think that listening to her is what she wants.Then that is your opinion..I work in the construction field and 50% of the men i work with are married and they careless what their wives think.They do complete opposite of what they say.In both partys...It must be some truth to it.When i did date in my 20s these women would say they want a repectful hard working guy..I do not have to put much effort in that,BEcause that is me 100%.Always kept a joB and very repectful...But when Mr.JERK comes along..You know the type(Cannot hold down a job because he has 10 DUI.s,Beats her up everyother night)Sorry to tell you i do not call that repectful and hardworking....She loves him to death.Worships the ground he walks on..Oh about listening to what she siads.HE CARELESS!...BUt for a man that has these traits.Well you know the game.(MAybe we be friends)What a joke....SO don't tell me the road i have been on...I can write a book on this subject.....The bottom line is what a woman wants and what they go after are 2 totaly different things...As far as the (friend) game i gave that up 20 years ago...Sorry i no friggin back-up for no screw up woman.I rather be a hermit than to kiss-up to a woman.Just so that she can have a little security until MR.JERK comes along.(like i do not have feelings)They care friggin less........ | |
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| Men and communication.
Posted: 10/29/2005 10:17:12 AM | If you're not a push over, you're not a push over. It's just that simple.
If by nice guy one means: keeping silent on his feelings, then flying into a rage when she falls for some other guy or falling over one day and losing your spine, then yes... You will finish last and NO, you're not actually a nice guy. | |
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