vp2
|
Joined: 8/29/2005
Msg: 501 | |
| Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 10/29/2005 10:24:23 AM |
what you obviously realize that these self-proclaimed nice guys don't is that if any particular women folk aren't interested in you at any given time, it isn't because you're nice, but because of some other - not controlable by you - reason that they may or may not share with you.
ulalume,
So if someone says they're are a "nice guy", they are automatically "self-proclaimed"? Some people are told over and over that they are the "nice guy". That doesn't make them "self-proclaimed". | |
|
| Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 10/29/2005 10:27:08 AM | That's being told not saying it themselves
Just how nice are you? | |
|
LL3
|
Joined: 9/10/2005
Msg: 503 | |
| Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 10/29/2005 10:29:34 AM | Very.....Just don't push the issue....breaking points are a fine line....both sexes. All in the presentation.......ask away, just don't tell. | |
|
vp2
|
Joined: 8/29/2005
Msg: 504 | |
| Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 10/29/2005 10:44:20 AM | That's being told not saying it themselves
but then if they repeat it, they are being called "self-proclaimed".
how nice, depends on who I'm talkin to. I'm not a very nice guy to the ex-wife anymore :laugh: | |
|
| Why say it at all?
Posted: 10/29/2005 10:52:48 AM | | I never describe myself to anyone. I let the person draw their own conclusions. Tarheelman is right when he says a Woman knows what she wants from you fairly quickly but it changes nothing when it comes to the "too nice" issue. Men: stop with the catalog descriptions of yourselves and just BE. If the Woman is into you she will take the time to know you. | |
|
| Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 10/29/2005 11:02:48 AM | | Hey I do now and always have liked nice guys. Most of the men must be following your advice because it seems to me like the nice guys are few and far between anymore. | |
|
| Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 10/29/2005 11:23:23 AM | | There may be a bit of confusion here so I hope I can be clear. I've never said that a Man shouldn't be well mannered, considerate and polite. Those things should be given freely to anyone you meet. You may think of that as being "nice". I don't. I think courtesy should be a given. However, we are Men. We are not male versions of your girlfriends. The "2nice guy" confuses confidence with arrogance, is afraid to displease or disagree with a Woman and won't stand up for his beliefs, talks too much about his feelings, and is just, well, too nice. He presents no challenge, offers no mystery, has no edge to him. He's like hospital food: bland and inoffensive, trying to please everyone but pleasing no one. "The 2nice guy" tries way too hard to say all the right things all the time and to be perfect. He doesn't know who/how to be because he's bending every which way to please someone. Certainly the best intentions but we all know where that well paved road leads to don't we? | |
|
sddude
|
Joined: 11/4/2004
Msg: 508 | |
| Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 10/29/2005 11:46:53 AM | I am not a nice guy then , just a speedbump, a parachute, a atm machine , the fountain of help and confort .
Yeah hotlatin I amd like the 2nd nice guy you mention except I do not confuse confidence with arrogance , just change a style for the appearance . Allos on the other point , I do not try or try hard or attempt to be desperate to be nice and say the right things to please , dude that is just me . Yes so many and too many people have said and reinforced about my way of being , was very nice to almost too nice . That is why I say it , not self proclaiming too. I guess i go to follow th advice to tone it down , not be too much of who I am , I think it is logical , that is what alot of women have told me here , not to be too nice because it is just being a doormat then say do not change , what if that is part of me ?
So I guess I have to permanently change who I am a little . | |
|
| Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 10/29/2005 11:49:53 AM |
ulalume,
So if someone says they're are a "nice guy", they are automatically "self-proclaimed"? Some people are told over and over that they are the "nice guy". That doesn't make them "self-proclaimed".
Um, well who is proclaiming 'I'm a nice guy'? Themselves. Thusly, they are self-proclaimed nice guys. I think what I said is fairly obvious and easy to comprehend. | |
|
| People pleasing.
Posted: 10/29/2005 12:02:09 PM | | Any real and lasting change should be attempted gradually. I'm not saying you shouldn't be yourself but curb your instinct to be a "people pleaser". In the end you'll please no one least of all yourself. True love starts with self love first. Self love doesn't mean you don't see your flaws. It just means that you understand that you're the sum total of all your virtues and deficits. Just like every other human being. I think that the tendency to be a "people pleaser" is a reflection of feelings of inadequacy. We need to be reassured that "we're okay" by pleasing everyone else. It takes time, patience and effort to overcome this but it's worth it. Think of yourself as a brick house. That strong structure was built one brick at a time just like we build ourselves one "brick" at a time. | |
|
| Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 10/29/2005 12:02:57 PM | | How about this; just be yourself and you will find what you are looking for in life? There is no perfect way to meet anyone and if you are constantly acting like a chameleon because you think it will make you more desireable you are going to end up alone wondering who the hell you are. | |
|
| Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 10/29/2005 12:07:56 PM | How about this; just be yourself
Could not of said it any better. If you are going to hide your true self to find someone.....then that someone you find will truly not be what you like. She liked you under false pretenses and after awhile your true self WILL emerge and she is not going to want it. | |
|
| Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 10/29/2005 12:24:50 PM | | I'm in sales and I find that there is this school of thought that you have to be obnoxious and degrading in order to gain control. This is not true. You can be confident and courteous at the same time. And confidence is sexy to most women. Being nice is not necessarily unsexy. Being nervous or unsure of oneself is unsexy. So rather than being nasty and domineering you can achieve so much more by being confident and pleasant. A lot of guys don't have control of themselves. They get upset and nervous when an attractive woman puts them down or isn't attracted to them. So its important to realize that unless you are one of those very rare individuals that all women find attractive (Brad Pitt, George Clooney etc.) a good 90% of men are going to experience rejection. This is not a reason to be unpleasant to people. You may not agree with their taste but we all have our own tastes and peculiarities. | |
|
| Men and communication.
Posted: 10/29/2005 1:19:47 PM | work in the construction field and 50% of the men i work with are married and they careless what their wives think.They do complete opposite of what they say.
Sounds like true love
I wonder if there is any correlation here to the high divorce rate?
lol
Sounds like a sure fire recipe for wedded bliss. | |
|
| Men and communication.
Posted: 10/29/2005 4:56:09 PM | | You people are something else.Look,Either your nice or bad...If i was going to get hooked up with a woman and she was overly nice.According to your screw up logic that is suppose to scare me...Not hardly..I would not know how to act.I would worship the ground she walks on.All the women i came accross had your logic....If a woman called me up everyday to see how i was doing.Then i would repect that.But that is far and few in between because of the friggin Logic of todays society.(What is in it for me attitude)Or you have to be some freek to fit in....Or play the logic game you people talk about...YOU PEOPLE MAKE ME SICK!...What in the hell is wrong with you.(YOU CAN BE OVERLY NICE FOR ME)What a world we live in.It is pitiful. | |
|
| Men and communication.
Posted: 10/30/2005 9:27:32 AM | Tarheelman
Hey, maybe it's not the people in the forum making you sick; it could be the result of an overdose of negativity. Negative vibes are counter productive and will have an adverse effect on your overall health, ending in stoke and or heart attack.
Try some green tea, a few yoga classes.
Breath in, breath out...wax on ....wax off......
If that does not help, try gravol.
or escape from it all and become a Buddhist Monk | |
|
| Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 10/30/2005 12:01:38 PM | While there may be a grain of truth in the OP. It quickly looses it's poigniantcy.
You're confussing confidence with arrogance.
If the timetable you have on your profile is some kind of intinerary, It's boring at best.
And if i hear of any King positions opening, I'll give you a holla. You da man. | |
|
| Men and communication.
Posted: 10/30/2005 12:22:26 PM | | Katherine,You worry about katherine and i will worry about tarheel...Just for the record i am in perfect health.I am almost 40...Never been to a doctor in my life. | |
|
| Men and communication.
Posted: 10/30/2005 7:14:47 PM | Tarheelman
You yourself said
what a world we live in, it’s pitiful
You just said the world is pitiful, could you imagine how bad it would be if people like me didn't worry or care about their fellow man? It would be the downfall of the civilized world as we know it.
| |
|
| Men and communication.
Posted: 10/31/2005 2:52:13 AM | | But i muust say you do not look a day over 34.You take care of yourself very well^^^^^You look 20 years younger than your age. | |
|
| Men and communication.
Posted: 10/31/2005 6:51:49 AM | I must say it's refreshing to see people like Katherine dispute this "nice guy/jerk" thing.Yet I feel much has to do with age and maturity.Young girls do still tend to go for**** types,at least that's what I've seen and experienced,it's an attraction thing,people naturally gravitate to what they're attracted to and we;ve already discussed the characteristics that make jerks attractive to many women.
Yet I think it's safe to say as people mature and they hopefully learn from mistakes,they will move on to what's really important.
Just as the smart guy will eventually learn that the nice tata's and long legs won't matter much in the long run,so too does the smart woman learn that the twinkle in the eye and the**** attitude won't either. | |
|
| Men and communication.
Posted: 10/31/2005 7:56:28 AM | Geek intelligence
Bad boy in the bedroom
Nice everywhere else...
Of course I fully expect him to be a pig when hanging with his friends...
OMG! I want a real man | |
|
| Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 10/31/2005 8:49:57 AM | | It's funny over the years< I've noticed how women like the bad boys, find out there losers and divorce them by 40...then they relize that the nice guys were as hot or better and they missed out.lol...i have always treated ladies as they should be tried. With understanding...some want the roses some wnat the throrns...both can be given in a nice way. | |
|
| Men and communication.
Posted: 10/31/2005 9:56:08 AM | tarheelman
Thank you for the compliment.
The secret to staying and looking young;
do not smoke;
stay out of the sun )easy for me to say, I'm in Canada)
Exercise;
AND
No negative vibes....
You don’t see many people running to befriend someone who has an aura of negativity around them, but you will see people drawn to someone upbeat, outgoing, and positive.
40 years old? Never been to a doctor? Then you need to go for your prostate exam. You may thank me some day.
| |
|
| Men and communication.
Posted: 10/31/2005 10:32:08 AM | It's one thing for men to complain about women they ACTUALLY KNOW going for a$$holes, but it's quite another to stretch that out to encompass all women because, frankly it's utter bull$hit.
I'm tired of reading it in these threads. | |
|
Home
login 
