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| Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 10/31/2005 10:35:03 AM | | I think JayJay is GayGay... What a wanker... You make the fat man giggle in laughter... Ha Ha Ha... You are the one that is going to be old and alone... ha ha ha.. No worries dude I will lend you my blow up doll... I am just kidding... | |
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| Men and communication.
Posted: 10/31/2005 11:57:06 AM | Taurus,,,
Thank you, that was a "nice" compliment..lol, 
I agree, it has a lot to do with maturity, and what you are looking for. Not everyone is looking for a real relationship based on mutual respect and trust. There are a lot of jaded people out there who are interested in instant gratification, and don't think or care about anyone else.
I'm about to start a DeAngelo fan club. We’re going to celebrate by having a book burning party. I think he’s influenced too many men. No wonder I don’t date often!!! Damn you David!!!…
I was married at 18, divorced at 45, and went on my first date at the age of 50. I was shocked at the attitudes of a lot of men and women. I was not prepared for the amount of disrespect, rudeness and inconsideration that men and women have towards each other. I’ve seen women in bars that use guys to buy them drinks all night. I’ve had men physically grab my arm because the club was about to close and they wanted a one night stand.
I’ve been thrown into the twilight zone of dating with no rule book. So, I have to use the rule book my mother gave me. Never accept, or allow anyone to treat me with less respect, than I deserve, maintain my dignity, know my self worth. | |
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| Nice guys do finish last!
Posted: 10/31/2005 12:58:56 PM | i Know I will get burnt for this and what I am saying probably.
But its true Nice guys do get finished last, I am a nice guy, but i am not going to change that.
But here it is
Nice guys finish last and yest as hard as its to believe it is true,
Women want this great looking guy to stand next and look good, But as long as he treats them like crap, is rude an @sshole it doesnt matter to them. Look how many women are out there who are single unmarried and have kids, if it was a nice guy they would have been with they wouldnt be unmarried the father of the kid would be there.
Women dont want a nice guy and want a somsone who treats them like crap, bcaz its a challenge for them, someone who gets drunk and doesnt listen to them...thats what they want for a guy to hang out with and as a boyfriend material.
But things change.. now comes the time to get married and settle down. Its here goes that search for the nice guy, who will be a Great husband, a great father to the kids, will be financially responsible and ahouse and is responsible.. If thats what they want in the end then why not go for that in the beginning.
They say they want a nice guy, honest, intelligent, someone who is ambitious and "Funny"
it doesnt matter. if youre great looking, but treat women like crap u will always have women..
Saying all that I still think the world needs "nice guys". although I said all that I am stil a nice guy and dont believe in treating women like that and will always be nice.. Bcas the world needs us nice guys,
So a word to all the nice guys out there.. Dont worry and Be happy. always be the nice guy you are. The world needs you
Cheers! | |
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| Ode to nice guys
Posted: 10/31/2005 1:06:05 PM | I saw this while browsing... it's a good amount to read, but if you read it all, it's SO true, not only of guys but of girls too... enjoy...
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Ode to the Nice Guys
This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and ****ing about what ***holes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.
This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.
This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’re nice like that.
The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative ****es. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.
So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming. | |
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| Nice guy poem
Posted: 10/31/2005 1:10:09 PM | SOMETHING ELSE I FOUND OUT WHILE BROWSING!!
Why Do Nice Guys Finish Last?
They respect you as a person.
They will sit and listen to your problems.
They give you comfort in your time of need.
They are someone you trust with your secrets.
You call them "Nice" and "Sweet".
But when it comes to love and who to date.
As a boyfriend, he is never one family meet.
You don't think of them as a life long mate.
You go for guys with the looks or is Macho
You want a guy with a car and lots of money.
This guy is happy just holding your hand
And who you think he is funny.
He might not have the handsome looks
But he has a heart of gold
He might not read a lot of books
His love for you can't be bought or sold.
So ladies, the next time you need to choose
Don't act so fast
What do you have to lose?
Why nice guys need to finish last? | |
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| Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 10/31/2005 1:26:21 PM | | I find it to be true and not at the same time, If im myself all i want to do is treat her to what ever she desires, if im not myself then i dont act diffrently...i hate being alone but im happy single at the same time, it seems like i get more attention from the ladies when i treat them like crap, and after i feel like shi* for being that way..so now what? | |
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sddude
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Joined: 11/4/2004
Msg: 532 | |
| Ode to nice guys
Posted: 10/31/2005 2:18:18 PM | Desidude,
OMG , holy crap , that Ode to nice guy was and is me all the time , that stuff happens to me daily , I guess I will just kill myself now , hahahahaha, what the hell ?
I am sure then that alot of guys here can relate , those who have female friends and cannot get a date , not even if their lives depended on it like me. I am almost overwhelmed on how that "ode to nice guy " seems like me and all of those situations happen to me over and over and over with varying situations and degrees , yes I am the guy who takes women out because the parents would only let me date their daughters at all times without questions , they use me as a way out and to meet guys , even guys that I know . I sit while she dances with guys and women reject dancing offers.... I call these women good freinds ... best friends .
Wow now I feel pathetic , I guess when a guy is nice most women are like that , treat us guys like that , most women here may say they want a nice guy but do not really act or beleive it when the moment of truth comes. I kind of think the vast majority of women act this way towards those guys.
I guess I will always be this way and lonely . damn these women , hahahahaha
sigh ... I'm screwed. | |
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sddude
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Joined: 11/4/2004
Msg: 533 | |
| Ode to nice guys
Posted: 10/31/2005 2:28:56 PM | mostly it is the women who have age and experience that actually persue, Finally, a nice guy
but usually they are way closer to their experation date than I am and have kids , and are divorced . So they probably now want a nice guy to help them with all their baggage even thought they say they donot have any or can take care of it themselves . Here on the forum the ones that say be yourself and claim to like nice guys for real are closer to being middle age usually , good that they say that and beleive that but that does not help most of us much , good pats on the shoulder , nice words , be yourself be the nice guy you genuinely are , were still screwed .
I have run into women who are really seriously looking for a relationship with me but I have to handle their teenage kids , her rent and her bills too , even if she does work , the excuse is the new family . I have tried to to be good for one of these women but I just end up much more overwhelbed by the new and greater responsibility than my younger single less experienced counterpart . Maybe the older the more dangerous for the nice guy
yeah nice guys finish last , I am just waithing for how I will crash and burn at the end . | |
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| Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 10/31/2005 2:43:48 PM | [I know this may not sound good or philosophic...]
Boo Shee man, that was as philosophic as it gets.
You were laying down the law, Mista Shaw. | |
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| Men and communication.
Posted: 10/31/2005 7:36:50 PM | I'm about to start a DeAngelo fan club. We’re going to celebrate by having a book burning party. I think he’s influenced too many men. No wonder I don’t date often!!! Damn you David!!!…
I don't think DeAngelo had anything to do with the current state of affairs.It's been going that way for some time.People are just downright mean these days.Openly hostile and bitter and into their own worlds.It's in the music and the other aspects of culture.Music is somber and hopeless sounding if it's not completley about antisocial behavior.No one years for peace and love anymore like they did back in my day,or even just having fun for the sake of fun like they did in the 70's and 80's.It's all about who they can use and abuse,with emphasis on abuse.
I have no problem with people seeking pleasure for pleasure's sake,but why must it be wrapped in competition and abuse? | |
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| Men and communication.
Posted: 10/31/2005 8:41:26 PM | It doesn't have to be that way...
It can change if ppl finally stand up and say enough is enough... | |
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| Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 10/31/2005 8:45:55 PM | | i agree dude. i just got burned in my last relationship. from now on, im just going to just see what happens. i wont have my heart in it unless its absolutely worth it. for now, im just going to party and have fun while im still young | |
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tbar
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Joined: 10/12/2005
Msg: 538 | |
| Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 10/31/2005 9:22:50 PM | | look up jaded in your****ionary sucka - nice guys rule!!! | |
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| Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 10/31/2005 11:54:31 PM | | JayJay, it depends on the female if she likes a bad boy, then yes thats all correct, but if they genuinely want a respectable one that knows how to treat a women and not be walked over at the time. There is a balance inbetween nice guy.. that has all the charm and knows how to treat the lady, maybe one day your find yourself with it? | |
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| Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 11/1/2005 12:08:25 AM | Hell, I'm a nice guy and yet gals run over me like a frog under a semi truck.
Maybe I should just buy a semi truck and just stop looking for a relationship. | |
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| Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 11/1/2005 12:30:56 PM | | What is this ballance crap you people talk about.Look eiyher a person is good for you or bad for you....Either your a good person or bad person.There is no middle ground.And that is the whole problem.People want to play games on somebodyelses emotions.....People act like you have to be involve with someone to learn.That is sad....If you do not know right from wrong.Or you do not know what in the hell you want.THEN STAY IN THE HELL SINGLE!Why should some innocent bystander have to pay just because you want to play with someones emotions...People careless...(What is it for me attitude)I will get what i can gat my hands on,Then i will dump him..Friggin women!!!! | |
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| Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 11/1/2005 1:02:05 PM | The comment about DeAngelo was tongue in cheek.
I know he is not the cause, he’s only a symptom of the problem in today’s society.
Men and women think differently and we look at friendships very differently.
I treat male friends, the same way I treat female friends, they are not given a special status because they are men. We hang out, talk on the phone, share secrets, and we can count on each other for support when needed. If I do a favor for my friend, it is granted freely, with no obligation. I do not expect anything in return, that’s why it’s called a favor.
Bending over backwards, and constantly doing favors for a woman will not guarantee that she will ever want you as anything more than a friend, and if you are doing way too many favors for someone, and it’s a one way street, chances are, you are being used, a real friend will not take advantage of you. If a woman decides she’s going to go out with some JERK, who does not treat her well, instead of saying all women like JERKS and do not want “nice” guys, I think it would be a fairer statement to say that the woman you liked, and treated so well, may have some issues about her self worth, and self esteem so she settled for a guy that treated her like garbage. If it happens to you over and over again, maybe you have a pattern of being attracted to the wrong type of women. Maybe you should be thankful that the friendship did not go the direction you wanted. A woman who is truly attracted to JERKS, (and there are some) is not relationship material. So why would anyone bemoan losing someone like this? You should rejoice and be grateful she is out of your life.
Being someone’s friend is not a guarantee that they will ever feel any chemistry towards you, or want to be anything more than a friendship.
There will always be SOME women who will pretend to be your friend, who will use you, and take advantage of you, just as there will always be SOME men who befriend women with the sole purpose of getting into their pants. | |
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| Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 11/1/2005 6:12:28 PM | The comment about DeAngelo was tongue in cheek.
I know he is not the cause, he’s only a symptom of the problem in today’s society.
Men and women think differently and we look at friendships very differently.
instead of saying all women like JERKS and do not want “nice” guys, I think it would be a fairer statement to say that the woman you liked, and treated so well, may have some issues about her self worth, and self esteem so she settled for a guy that treated her like garbage. If it happens to you over and over again, maybe you have a pattern of being attracted to the wrong type of women.
Being someone’s friend is not a guarantee that they will ever feel any chemistry towards you, or want to be anything more than a friendship.
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All very true Katherine,though I think this jerk vs. nice guy thing has been taken waaaaayyy too far and out of context by guys who have become bitter and jaded.Instead of saying "women like jerks",it should be said that many jerks possess traits that ALOT of women find attractive.Confidence,appearance of strength,the appearance of being able to make decisions,quick wit,and never,never underestimate the value of a controlled****ness.It's true a man doesn't have to be a jerk to possess these qualities,but it's also true that alot of nice guys DON'T possess these qualities.Many guys,well past their adoescent years still get nervous about approaching an attractive woman.Many woman can sense that and when they try to come up and talk,they are usually easily ran over by a guy who DOES posses these qualities whether or not he is a nice guy or a jerk.The best "lady killers"I know were guys who spent time in elite branches of the military.Green Berets,Navy SEALs,Top Gun fighter pilots.These are guys who are accustomed to success at everything they do and when they go after a woman they like,they seldom miss.There is an old joke about a fighter pilot who was talking a line to a woman and he tells her about a special wristwatch that can tell him the condition of people.He tells her that his watch can tell him that she isn't wearing any panties.When she informs him that she is indeed wearing panties,he says,"Damn,the watch is twenty minutes fast."Now while that is only a story it's a statement about confidence and attraction.
I agree with you that DeAngelo is basically an internet stage guy with parlour tricks.The things he says about confidence and attitude are or should be common knowledge.While there are no guarantees that a woman will be attracted to any guy for any reason (same can be said the other way around),there are things a person can do to attract the opposite sex.Just as a person can make themselves more attractive by attention paid to grooming,personal hygiene,clothes and such,a person can also make themselves more attractive by their attitude and the way they carry themselves.
It's not that women thrive on abuse,it's that sexual attraction is often accompanied by a certain amount of tension.Watch people flirt with each other,what do they do?They will tease one another(playfully),they will play games about how hard they are to get,all this to build up tension which if done correctly and if there is anything there to begin with,there will be attraction.Conversely,a guy can start out with a woman attracted to him by say,the way he looks and he can really screw it up in less than five minutes if he in any way gives off anything that she will percive as wuss vibes.He can also screw it up if he gets too much into the "higher level coversation",without any of the "fun stuff" I mentioned before.That was my downfall in my youth.I had tons of women friends,I wasn't "too nice",I just had to learn to work at the "fun stuff". | |
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| Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 11/2/2005 12:30:33 AM | taurus516: You think you could suck ass a little harder?
There is another way of looking at the 'I think nice guys are sisies' thing, and I am going to push it.
This is new to these forums and will piss off some.
C'est La Vie!
Being around a nice guy, might expose a particular weaknesses. And they don't want that to happen. So if they are totaly insecure they lash out at you and you're a wuss. Regardless.
If there's a little respect between the two, they'll somewhat blow you off to avoid their inadequacies.
And b4 ne1 biatches, This came from a women. f it, get that far and I'll continue. | |
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| Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 11/2/2005 1:04:18 AM | Women do NOT want "nice guys",this is a fact...
oh, really? why, thank you for clearing that up. (insert eye roll)
and what I mean by nice guys are the guys who are overly sensitive,
i don't call overly sensitive guys "nice guys." i call them overly sensitive guys. because that's what they are. you can be nice and not be a schmuck. since when did the two have to go hand-in-hand?
guys who listen to slow sad music.
because, clearly, listening to slow sad music-- or hey, any music -- defines you as a person. (insert blank stare)
the guys who let the girl make the decisions/ and wear tha pants,
i think decisions should be made together. it isn't necessarily the mans job to do it.. and why would it be? if it includes both, it should be discussed.
the guy who tells her he loves her after hardly knowing her,
you're confusing "pathetically lonely" with being a "nice guy." that's the problem. a lot of guys who have no spine and no confidence say they're a "nice guy" -- you, however, are just advising them to be jerks. way to go, braniac.
the guy who gives her compliments and so forth.
yeah, because everyone knows that women hate compliments. (*blinks out loud*)
Whatever you do don't ever act like you really like her,
yes, because giving mixed signals (ie spending lots of time with her, yet not acting like you like her) is the healthiest thing ever for a budding relationship. you play head games.
NEVER ever tell her how you feel about her
you're amazing-- and not for a good reason. ...shut up.
and NEVER tell her she is beautiful.(NEVER)
why? what is the possible logic behind that? do you not want her to think you like the way she looks?
She will take advantage of your niceness as a form of "weakness" to her because she knows inside that she can now control you.....
it seems that your problem wasn't being a "nice guy", it was being a spineless schmuck that let manipulative girls control you. you are clearly a bad judge of character if this ridiculous display of commentary has anything to say about the women you have dated in the past.
and while i will agree, a lot of girls ((hell, a lot of PEOPLE)) are manipulative and will seek out partners that don't have the will to defend themselves so they can control them... that doesn't mean that you have to give up simple things such as complimenting your significant other, or letting them know how important they are to you.
in fact, i'll just come right out and say that this was one of the most idiotic posts i have read in a long time. i'll give you a prop or two by saying that you were right, you shouldn't let anyone dictate your self esteem.
now, since you've taken it upon yourself to speak for womankind, (and, how nice of you to do so.. with having a penis and all.) i will say this...
confidence is the key.
that's it. be confident. don't give up on being a decent person just to portray yourself as a "tough guy" that doesn't say what he feels. most importantly-- be yourself. i think it's bordering ridiculous that you had to completely change the way you were in order to get women. in fact, it's bordering pathetic as well. you won't be able to keep up the charade forever.
be confident. be yourself. be nice. and when i say nice, i don't mean it like the original poster -- don't be a goddamn schmuck. it's possible to be all three at once (confident, yourself, nice), and when you are.. i can almost assure you that you will see an improvement in the amount of attention you receive-- as well as the quality of attention.
getting a leer or two is all fine and good, but finding someone who is genuinely interested and intrigued by you? that's where it's at. | |
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| Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 11/2/2005 1:18:07 AM | Rainbow... If I go someplace to, say argue about global warming, or world peace , would you be so kind as to with me? I really want you on my side.
ok so I suck. i don't want you not on my side.
You so poigniantly ripped him up.
Bravo!
(*blinks out loud*) killed me
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| Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 11/2/2005 5:22:48 AM | Hey Cautionsly Fishing, I'm on your side,
don't worry about the rainbow-warrior,
women will tell you all this bullschiitt but its not what they really want. | |
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| Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 11/2/2005 5:32:40 AM | lol@ rainbow acting like she'd want a nice guy.. As soon as that Harly smooth Shades wearing guy comes along her nipples would get hard.
Most women want thier cake & eat it too... being the nice guy is ok.. but we must know when to be rough.. Personally I've evolved quite well from the pure nice guy to the  Niceguy/Hidden Maximus .. You can see both personalities on my Profile pics.. Works quite well so far.. | |
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| Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 11/2/2005 7:03:29 PM | taurus516: You think you could suck ass a little harder?
Being around a nice guy, might expose a particular weaknesses. And they don't want that to happen. So if they are totaly insecure they lash out at you and you're a wuss. Regardless.
If there's a little respect between the two, they'll somewhat blow you off to avoid their inadequacies.
And b4 ne1 biatches, This came from a women. f it, get that far and I'll continue.
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Nope,just looking for common ground.The problem with alot of this is the overgeneralizing,which is what I try to avoid.
However your second and third points do describe at least one incident I've come across.It doesn't describe all of them,you mention insecurities,not everyone,including women,is so insecure they have to resort to such tactics.Then it becomes a different ballgame alltogether.Your female "source" doesn't speak for all women.Many,yes,but not all.
I just decided within myself that I wasn't going to play games anymore and you know what,I found a woman I don't have to play games with.I guess it's one of those things that comes with age and maturity.Some people learn,some people don't.Some guys eventually learn that the hardbody 10's may be fun to look at,but it may not necessarily mean they're good for a decent LTR or even casual sex.Great looks don't always mean great sex.So they stop chasing and start looking for what's really important.Some guys don't and they end up with multiple marriage/divorces with mega alimony.I know a brilliant neurosurgeon that last I knew,he was on his 6th marriage to a hottie who was at least 25 years his junior.Smart guy,social retard.Some women eventually learn that the bad boy with the gleam in his eye,who had all the right things to say wasn't necessarily Mr.Right and wouldn't be "tamed" for her.Some women don't and continue to go from bad relationship to bad relationship.
Men and women operate differently but basically both genders want the same thing. | |
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| Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 11/4/2005 10:55:41 AM | | I stopped that when i turned 30.Never met a woman that wanted that.Oh Sure they say they want a honest sure person.But the fact is action speak louder than words.ANd that is so true.What they say and do are 2 different things....As result i careless.Tired of all the lies and headgames.It just gets kinda old after a while...Tired treating somebody like gold in return get treated like crap..AND YOU PEOPLE DO NOT TELL ME THE TOO NICE GAMES.THERE IS NO SUCH OF A PERSON....EITHER YOUR NICE OR BAD!!PERIOD!!!SO DO NOT TELL ME!!What a bunch of crap.That shit came out in the 90s...If somebody treated me good i would RESPECT that.That is a word you people never talked about.(RESPECT)..Yes NIce does not cut it in this day and age.You either got to be some freek or drugy to fit in..Lazy bum! | |
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