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| Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 11/7/2005 6:47:55 PM | I think there's a touch of truth in what he (Deangelo) says. Haven't read alot of his stuff, but have seen some, and pretty much get the idea.
To have a chance at getting the attention of someone, you have to do something different. Stand out a little. Can't just crawl up and beg for a phone number.
One of the things almost every woman says they want in a guy is a sense of humour, so his thing about cocky and funny has a touch of truth to it too.
I don't think all women like bad boys, but I'm pretty sure that nice guys do sleep alone most of the time.
Probably get better results if you went for hypnosis for confidence or something. Bottom line is that approaching you gals isn't easy for most guys, and if Deangelo or anyone else can help with a guys confidence, then it's no half bad. To hell with the actual words or lines he feeds. It's the underlying message. Be confident, and be more successful with most things in life. Women, business, whatever.
That's pretty much the way I see it. | |
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| Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 11/7/2005 7:17:16 PM | deagleninja speaks the truth.
The OP seems to be suffering from bitterness and rejection. I am sorry there have been chicks who have taken advantage of you.
Please be assured not all women are like this. I could say, based on past relationships, that all men are cheating lying f*tards, but I know that, despite the pain I've had, they aren't ALL like that. I just have to find the right one.
OP, you are a nice guy, I can see it underneath all that machismo crap. And for all that, you are still pretty mild in that department. You are confusing control with confidence, as someone has already pointed out. You don't need to be in control of your woman, and not give her a chance to express herself, in order to be a confident man. You might as well say that being a man means slapping her around.
Women DO like nice guys. They don't like wimps, no, although there are a few women out there who desire a wimp so that they can control something. Most women out there want a man who is masculine, and yet able to show SOME emotion sometimes. My father was very much the kind of man you describe, and he was extremely emotionally absent to my mother, and to his children. My mother always wished he would show he gave a crap about his kids. He actually does, you know, but he can't express it very well, thanks to this idea that showing emotion even in the slightest degree isn't manly. I call BS on this line of thinking.
Women like men who are men, but who can also be somewhat sensitive, who isn't afraid to show that he loves her, and the occassional compliment is an absolute necessity... women tend to be unsure about themselves, so telling her that she's beautiful sometimes goes a LONG way in boosting her self confidence. Why would that be unmanly? | |
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| Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 11/3/2009 1:32:03 AM | There is not such a thing as a "nice guy" I get so tired of this term. | |
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| Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 11/3/2009 1:43:05 AM | | couple of months ago i would have slamed this thread but after an e-mail i just got and this is copyed and pasted " i really dont know what is happening to us , but whatever it is i dont like it , you are the best boyfriend i have ever had so i dont know why i am being so horrible, all i can say is sorry" i am starting to think difrently | |
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| Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 11/3/2009 3:10:46 AM | Your advice is flawed.
"Don't be nice," then you follow it by saying that we should do what we want.
If you were really nice you're already doing what you want. Otherwise you're just doing it to BE nice... which is fake and will never work.
Also, wow; this thread is 3 years old. | |
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| Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 11/3/2009 3:29:46 AM | What Green Eyed Doll said is what women think. There is no such thing as a "nice guy" We are all dogs, some pretend to be nice to get what we want. So guys if women assume we are all dogs then there really is no point in being anything else. Pay attention to all the post on these forums, "the only thing men want is sex, All men are liars, men only think with there little head, etc, etc, etc". This is their paradigm, and if there is one thing I have learned over time is that people will believe what they want to believe and no amount of facts will change their minds.
Are there women out there that don't think like this? I'm sure there are, but what does the majority think? Just read the forums. | |
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| Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 11/3/2009 3:33:54 AM | ^ It's not what women think. It's what short sighted, immature women think.
Anyone who uses "all" as a descriptor is either being sarcastic or has been hurt too much to have a reliable opinion. | |
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| Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 11/3/2009 4:12:16 AM |
I think our OP friend is just feeling a little sorry for himself. That's understandable.
Sorry for himself while drowning in a sea of sex with interested women. | |
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| Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 11/3/2009 4:41:56 AM |
There is not such a thing as a "nice guy" I get so tired of this term.
Lol while this is a completely retarded statement, I will concur that I get tired of hearing people throw it around as well. | |
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| Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 11/3/2009 4:44:27 AM | Hey Bro, Don't listen to all the people trying to say your just looking for sympathy or your so wrong etc etc..
Pretty much everything you have stated is 100% true..
Yeah you're always going to have people that disagree but who cares the fact is you're right..
Ive been with enough women and Ive experienced the same exact thing its sad but ive had to resort to not being so nice now.. I also have alot of male friends who have gone through the same thing, now you too? Ya it isnt a coincidence..
You dont have to be a jerk or anything, just be a man and do what you want to do when you want to do it, you need to lead your life... | |
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| Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 11/3/2009 4:51:29 AM |
Hey Bro, Don't listen to all the people trying to say your just looking for sympathy or your so wrong etc etc..
Pretty much everything you have stated is 100% true..
Yeah you're always going to have people that disagree but who cares the fact is you're right..
Ive been with enough women and Ive experienced the same exact thing its sad but ive had to resort to not being so nice now.. I also have alot of male friends who have gone through the same thing, now you too? Ya it isnt a coincidence..
You dont have to be a jerk or anything, just be a man and do what you want to do when you want to do it, you need to lead your life...
... that has absolutely zilch to do with being a "nice guy," and everything to do with not being a f*cking doormat. | |
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| Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 11/3/2009 5:36:10 AM | Are you sure you haven't been reading 'The Game' by Neil Strauss???? A Must read book for EVERY single women out there who are back on the dating scene!!!!
Have to say- I would like a mix of both- someone honest and caring but who is also a man. | |
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| Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 11/3/2009 5:41:53 AM | What are we talking about here? Just having sex with women or being in long term relationships?
I know a few people have said that just being yourself is the best way to have success with women. I tend to agree to some extent but only when being yourself allows you to come off as naturally confident and in control of your life. Let's face it, low self esteem is running rampant in today's society in both men and women so there is a serious lack of confidence going around. I recently went to a bar with a group of friends (a good mix of men and women all in their professional and dating primes) and I actually took the time to observe each person's approach to the opposite sex and it was pretty much dead on to what has been said over and over again in this thread, which is the guys that are relaxed, naturally confident, and come off as just being there to have a good time are the ones who ended up spending the evening with an attractive woman. These guys have an "I don't need you to have a good time" attitude so naturally a large amount of women are attracted to this just out of curiousity.
The guys that obviously had low self esteem and just stood in a corner (together I might add) or the ones who tried too hard to exude confidence but ended up coming off as arrogant a-holes all ended up alone or hanging with each other.
My friends that have low self esteem are the typical "nice" guy's who end up falling for the first woman who shows any interest. They end up whorshipping these women. They do everything they can to keep them from moving on, which I can see would be overwhelming for some women. I tend to lose touch with these guys for the duration of their relationships as they are to busy putting all of their free time into trying to make their women happy. They are also the ones that end up being heart broken and pining for a year when their relationships end.
On the other hand, the truly confident guys are having short term relationships with women with a few long term ones mixed in. Some actually have gotten married but all of them still find time to hang out with friends and have their own seperate interests apart from whomever they are dating. It's no surprise that their SO's also have their own personal lives and do what they want. | |
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| Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 11/3/2009 5:52:18 AM | ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ So incredibly dead on, it is almost scarey!
I ocassionally go to a local bar with some girlfriends, and do the very same thing... people-watching at its finest. This bar is very much a "meat market" bar... but it is also somewhat unique in that it changes demographics throughout the nite. It starts out as a 50+ bar with a few of the regulars getting their meals and a few beers, etc.... then the 35-45 crowd till about midnite.... then the younger, college and university crowd to close it down. I often sit and just watch..... and regardless of the age group, the men and women who aren't so concerned about being with someone are those who end up being with someone... the ones who come across as more needy get walked on by.
Confidence is still the greatest attraction of all, in my opinion. | |
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| Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 11/3/2009 6:02:07 AM | TG has it right on the money.
How is that martyr hat? Your thinking has got you thinking your so nice and all those people out there are using you.....That only happens whenever you allow it happen. You seek what you are.....So if everyone is crappy and not what you want....instead of looking at their thoughts, attitude and behavior......which is none of your business by the way......check yours out. You can change your thoughts by a switch of the mind. Try focusing on yourself instead and I will bet you mirror their behavior. You become whiny, bitter and walk around with a dejected attitude until the next one comes along and you can again focus on their shitty attitude and behavior. You didn't find them by accident. People like this are drawn together because they fit. So after all this time your wearing your bitter poor poor me mask.....the balanced people see it...so you ain't going to draw them in....they know better.
Keep your bitter attitude and you will be stuck in the very same place with much more baggage years later. Take control back over your life and start with yourself. Find your behaviors, change your attitudes, thoughts and feeling with the switch that is located in your mind.........
And not being nice.....treating others how I want to be treated regardless of their behavior is what makes me who I am today....which means I don't let someone else's behavior affect mine.....and setting boundaries with those that treat us poorly is standing up for yourself.....but I don't lower myself to their behavior ..... | |
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| Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 11/3/2009 6:44:19 AM | I wanted to add on..
I see so many women who claim to like real men, manly men, but Im beginning to think thats a crock of you know what..
Now a days i9t seems to me that men with a backbone that dont take any shit just scare off women, most women want to be chased and cannot handle a man who tells it like it is or is outgoing and such..
If I was wrong than id have alot more women banging down my doorstep..
You would think being outgoing confident funny and good looking you would have alot more women, but on this site thats not the case at all, which makes me wonder if women actually do want a doormat for a man... | |
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| Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 11/3/2009 6:49:45 AM | | As a woman who has always been bored with "nice guys' I think I am qualified to comment here. It is not the nice part that is the problem. It is the lack of confidence. Don't ask me my permission to kiss me...just do it. Fear of rejection? That's a chance whether you ask me, or if I push you away. I love to be asked " Where would you like to go.?" I love when my opinion is asked for, and being treated like a lady turns me on. I don't like wimpy men who can't make the most minute decisions, even for themselves. I don't want a man who will let people walk all over him, and just has a general wishy washyness about him. I want to know that if we are married/living together whatever...that if something goes bump in the night, HE will be the one to go check it out. I love gentleness, but there is such a thing as too gentle. I hate when a man has soft hands. I like callouses! If I see a man getting a manicure or pedicure, he could be the handsomest guy in the world, and I think, I hope he is gay, because no man whoisn't should be doing that. But alot of stright men actually do this. YUCK! On the flip side, I loathe hearing any man brag about what a bad ass he is. I guess whatI am saying is there needs to be a balance. Don't men like us girly girls to also have a little tough side too? | |
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| Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 11/3/2009 10:36:34 AM | | Women love a challenge, Mr. Nice guy is boring. Ever noticed family issues with women? Many of them feed of drama. The bad boy gives them plenty of drama to think about and act upon, bad boy= stays on her mind. Nice guy= out of sight, out of mind. | |
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| Stop being a NICE guy
Posted: 11/3/2009 11:05:13 AM | | OP, and all who follow, who cares what women want!! Figure out who YOU are. Be confident in yourself. Know what you want. Have the balls to go and get what you want. The rest takes care of itself. The women who belong in your life who have a personality that is compatible with your own, will find you and be attracted to you. | |
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