| Polyamory
Posted: 10/16/2005 7:56:42 AM | well, go there then
I think that organized religions have used the notions of monogamy to control people.
In the days of Polytheism, it was quite common for rulers to have multiple wives. This left a lot of dudes without a hope in hell of mating. So in order to throw em a bone they decided that they could let em have ONE wife | |
|
arri
|
Joined: 10/5/2005
Msg: 27 | |
| Polyamory
Posted: 10/16/2005 7:58:48 AM | | Don't you think even 1 can be too many sometimes | |
|
| Polyamory
Posted: 10/16/2005 8:09:34 AM | O T B quotes 'I think that organized religions have used the notions of monogamy to control people'.
I think this is an interesting thing to bring up.
If this is the case, is the world (generally speaking) similar to an organised religion. EG one partner in a relationship, therefore control has to be involved.
Is control love? I believe control enters into jealousy and many more factors. So control would mean distruction. Can this be love? If a person wants some one to be happy should they not ease up on the control thing and be free from ALL forms of control? | |
|
| Polyamory
Posted: 10/16/2005 8:11:28 AM | Yes And if they choose monogamy then so be it!!!! I applaud it. | |
|
longte
|
Joined: 10/18/2004
Msg: 30 | |
| Polyamory
Posted: 10/16/2005 8:16:31 AM | Two very seperate things
In a Loving relationship this would not come up
Simply because in A loving relationship "Control" is not there
Because you Love each other there is no need for it
When you said "Ease up on the control", you were partly right
When you love someone you dont want to control them, You dont want them to control you
You just enjoy every minute you have together knowing they would not ever try to control you
..
. | |
|
| Polyamory
Posted: 10/16/2005 8:17:55 AM | | Longte, I like your thought process. | |
|
| Polyamory
Posted: 10/16/2005 8:58:36 AM | | I've known some people over the years that believe strongly in polyamory and chose that as their way of life. It is my understanding that there is a "primary" relationship, where the bond between the two is so strong that jealousy and insecurity just don't play any parts. The others that these two love are considered "tertiary" relationships, and may or may not involve intimacy. For this to work, I think there has to be that unselfish love between all parties involved, otherwise someone is going to get hurt. | |
|
| Polyamory
Posted: 10/16/2005 3:32:37 PM | **"You have no idea what it is like to hear your wife scream/moan louder for someone else than they ever did for you." She later divorced him...took half and is now an out and proud lesbian**
That is exactly why I never let the fantasy become a reality. Rejection is bad enough, but to be left for another woman? holy cow, that must be the ultimate rejection. Besides, I can't help but feel when one partner is so serious about a 3 some there must be an underlying issue there and might possibly use it to end the relationship. | |
|
| Polyamory
Posted: 10/16/2005 3:43:31 PM | | Thats more than I am use to, so I will leave it to all of you. Not my thing. | |
|
| Polyamory
Posted: 10/16/2005 3:48:33 PM | | Wouldn't married men who have mistresses be involved in a polyamorous relationship? I'd say yes and all the power to them but I could never handle my man loving another woman. I can handle threesomes but if there's an emotional attachment, FORGET IT. lol | |
|
| Polyamory
Posted: 10/16/2005 4:45:06 PM | | No, married men with mistresses don't fit in the sense of polyamory that the OP was talking about, neither do the kinky threesomes. Polyamory is agreed upon by all parties involved, not something that one partner does in secret from the other. Polymaory IS about the emotional attachment. | |
|
| Polyamory
Posted: 10/16/2005 4:51:19 PM | Yah I quess if you're in a CULT!!
| |
|
| Polyamory
Posted: 10/16/2005 5:12:50 PM | | I dont know anything about it, except the female partners often seem kinda fat and ugly and desperate. | |
|
jimb77
|
Joined: 8/30/2005
Msg: 39 | |
| Polyamory
Posted: 10/16/2005 5:35:34 PM | | no, i don't share. | |
|
| Polyamory
Posted: 10/17/2005 8:13:19 PM | To the OP - I'm guessing from the replies to this topic that there aren't many around who either a) know what pollyamory means or b) aren't into it.
I try to understand things about the people I know as friends. The things I learn about may not always be my "cup of tea" but I'm open minded enough to really believe that there are "different strokes for different folks" and enjoy learning about any number of subjects.
By the way, I did a google on polyamory and found a couple of decent sites. | |
|
| Polyamory
Posted: 10/17/2005 8:19:08 PM | | The one objection I keep seeing here is jealousy. But consider the following situation. You and your spouse have children. Are you jealous over your spouse's love for your children? Is the jealousy really about love or is it about sex? | |
|
| Polyamory
Posted: 10/18/2005 2:13:16 AM | Sorka,
I believe there is no other way, than to be as open minded as possible. It is the fountain of self growth.
BTW, I'll be doing the same with reference to google search. I think it's a good idea.
Well what ever the reason is for people not replying, I don't know. Could be what you say. Just goes to show how much people really are aware of. | |
|
| Polyamory
Posted: 10/18/2005 3:22:52 AM | | To me, it's more satisfying giving yourself completely to one person. I don't think I'm capable of being in multiple relationships. | |
|
| Polyamory
Posted: 10/18/2005 3:37:16 AM | | My brother and his wife had a polyamorous relationship with another woman; they even did a marriage-like ceremony. I attended that; my parents didn't, since they had a bit of a problem with the whole idea. I didn't have a problem with it; not that I really understood their relationship, but I don't really understand sexual relationships with just two people, either, and if I can just accept that those are what people do, this wasn't really that different. | |
|
| Polyamory
Posted: 10/18/2005 10:12:00 AM | Understood and communicated needs or desires cannot be judged as right or wrong nor should they cause insecurities, hatred, or jealousy. If this occurs there will be no love left because no trust existed. 2 examples that are common: A woman maintains an open, loving relationship with another woman while still being wife and mother in a conventional relationship with her husband and he is completely aware of this, accepts it, and their love thrives. A man, Mormon living in Utah, lives with several or many wives under the same roof in a loving, giving structured relationship. POLYAMORY
It is not communal living and it is not threesomes or an affair.
Perfect for some, scorned by others and certainly not my cup of tea. It really isn't that much different then the toys mentioned and discussed earlier, fishing, gambling, golf, or POF. Are these desires, loves if you will, more acceptable because of the absence of intimacy? It still feels like abandonment to some people. Different strokes for different folks. | |
|
| Polyamory
Posted: 10/18/2005 12:13:13 PM | Time2Spare, I was just going to clarrify the true meaning as well, but see you got here before me! lol
Not my cup of tea either. Give me a one on one with deep abiding friendship, a solid foundation, love that transends to complete me as a person, and that's all I will ever need. | |
|
| Polyamory
Posted: 1/14/2006 9:25:44 PM | | Hi Ms Ali.....first time on this site......thanks for your open-mindedness.....I believe that a polyamorous relationship can work.....if there is complete honesty.......very rare.....very.....but possible | |
|
| Polyamory
Posted: 1/14/2006 9:35:47 PM | | Say girl... did you make up that word? | |
|
| Polyamory
Posted: 1/14/2006 9:39:12 PM | Do you mean... polyamorous .... ??????
 
Well why couldn't you love more than one person... I think it happens all the time.
many loves was the ideas the hippie free love culture of the late 60's early 70's was about.
mixed with Communal living ... not alot different from Mormons. | |
|
joesch
|
Joined: 1/13/2006
Msg: 50 | |
| Polyamory
Posted: 1/14/2006 9:45:58 PM | | Not into sharing or being shared,1 on 1 is the way to go. | |
|
Home
login 
