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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Alot of 1st dates....is it just to get it out of their system?      Home login  
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 Whisky_River
Joined: 9/12/2010
Msg: 25
Alot of 1st dates....is it just to get it out of their system?Page 2 of 2    (1, 2)
When I first started on-line dating..oh..err meetings...I went with the mind set of.."You just never know" attitude....and I have to admit, alot of those meets >>>I knew we weren't a probable match....It may have been that he was funny and sounded sincere. Always paid my own way...so, never felt that I was taking advantage of anyone. I can correspond and converse with anyone but I still need that attraction and yes....It has to be mutual.
Now....I do try to be more "selective" about meets(when I'm out there). I want to go into it with the butterfly feeling or hope that we could be a match.
So I do read the profile carefully and all aspects of it but the proof is still in the meet.
I don't like to keep anyone wondering or encourage furthur meets if...it's just not there.
Sometimes...It may take a second meet...to be sure! BTW...that goes both ways....Men have as well...said I am not their type.
 Backlolz
Joined: 11/11/2009
Msg: 26
Alot of 1st dates....is it just to get it out of their system?
Posted: 9/3/2011 3:49:28 PM
Well honestly I rather think that the online dating scheme could be improved... people are mystified by what's put on their profiles and the messages that go between... fact is that hardly any of that actually gives any substance. It's soooo much psychological warfare where the only goal is to get the other person and you off of this thing and onto something else... It's not really getting it out of your system as much as actually getting anywhere at all... I think actual social network or apps are better dating tools than these websites. Because you are doing something that's of obvious interest and through that one common interest you will highly likely meet those with other things in common. When enough time has passed you will feel very comfortable with the person you have done activities together.... on sites like these it's like "Yes, I cracked him/her. Time to put on a poker face and pretend to be all perfect and score"... most unnatural.
 MagikMan59
Joined: 8/2/2011
Msg: 27
Alot of 1st dates....is it just to get it out of their system?
Posted: 9/3/2011 3:58:33 PM
In person you get to read body language, online you have to do that through emails and IM. Personally if I like someone online, after she feels more comfortable with me I try to get a phone number. It's still not the same as in person, but I get better feel about how well we will get along after talking on the phone than I do with emails or IMs. But hey, I'm from the old school.
 Laha Math
Joined: 7/15/2010
Msg: 28
Alot of 1st dates....is it just to get it out of their system?
Posted: 9/3/2011 4:30:07 PM
Once again OP has left the site so this is for general interest.

A big difference between online dating and offline dating is offline you date people you tend to see from time to time. That contact reinforces your interest. You can arrange to be somewhere you will come in contact with someone. So it's easier to avoid seeing someone you met online if, say, you're nervous and unsure of yourself or unsure of him or her.
 BicyclingGal
Joined: 8/1/2011
Msg: 29
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Alot of 1st dates....is it just to get it out of their system?
Posted: 9/3/2011 5:56:56 PM
No, I wouldn't be skeptical about someone who was on a dating website for several years and hadn't yet met someone for a long term relationship. It is difficult to find the right person either on- or offline, and it takes time. I would, however, fault someone who was looking for someone "perfect" -- who fit the exact laundry list of attributes they wanted and who wouldn't "settle" (God, I hate that term!). I'm not that kind of person -- I will give someone a chance.

I'm one of those people who has had a lot of first dates. I approach them with interest. . . everyone is interesting in their own way, and even if the date doesn't work out, we at least have communicated and had a fun time. I don't see anything wrong with that.
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