| How Do You Rate The Importance of Sex In A Relationship
Posted: 9/23/2007 12:23:49 PM | | my reltionship needs wit honesty respect common interests faithfullness adventure connection good coversation big hearts and cuddleing and making out. its not hard to find men who dont want sex either, then again i tell them right there and then that i will never have sex take it or leave it. heres a big tip if somoene has had sex from either gender, then its a 50 percent chance they will want it eventually again, so peeps who dont need sex go for ones that havnt had it, or if someone has had it, and loves you enough to just give it up in general then thats fine to. weeee love is ultimate sex is breeding simple | |
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| How Do You Rate The Importance of Sex In A Relationship
Posted: 9/23/2007 1:25:31 PM | It's all about SYZYGY. In astronomy, syzygy is the alignment of three or more celestial bodies in the same gravitational system along a straight line. Sex is an aspect of relational syzygy - (no, you dont' have to be a rocket scientist to play) but if it (Sex) doesn't fall into some alignment/balance with the emotional and intellectual coaxials, it cannot stand on its own. It has to be part and parcel with the rest of the interactive equation.
Coincidentally, the psychologist and behavioral scientist Carl Jung said that psychological syzygy is "The conjunction of two organisms without the loss of identity". Relationships should be like that too.
holy cow, i'm sounding like a geek here. See what online dating has done to me? | |
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| How Do You Rate The Importance of Sex In A Relationship
Posted: 9/23/2007 1:32:47 PM | hey, being connected is very importand and I think that sex is very important but its not any good if you don't have the talking and knowing each other... in an emotional way, you need it to grow sexually as well as mentally together...
Unless you re just in it for the physical excercise and are not looking for anything other than lust, need to know as little information as possible etc....
I personally cant' do that I need more but if two people can and they are comfortable with it thats their business I wouldn't judge anyone for doing what they feel is right for them.
Just being close to someone like a kiss or being cuddled up can be just as intimate in a different way than having sex.... | |
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| How Do You Rate The Importance of Sex In A Relationship
Posted: 9/23/2007 1:34:36 PM | Tesaz,
If I've learned anything about sex and relationships is that some women ( myself included )need that emotional connection, where as, some men just view it from a physical aspect. If I had to say what was the one thing I missed most during my marriage, was all the things that mattered most...and though sex was nice....it was even nicer just being held or hugged.
Five yrs I went to bed alone, because he chose to sleep on the couch. The only time he he came to our bed was when he was in the mood for sex. Yes, I'd say sex can be an expression of love, but so is holding a person's hand...taking out the garbage without being asked and just being in the company of your lover without having to say a word, but you KNOW he cares.
When true intimacy is lost things can break down horribly. Interestingly, after my ex and I split, when we finally were able to communicate without fighting, I learned that his desire for me hadn't changed, but he DID. He figured that if I kissed him or touched him I wanted sex...and in truth I just wanted to be close to him. I dare say, sometimes it's not the sex that is the problem, but rather the lack of effective communication between a couple.
Don't get me wrong, I like sex, as much as the the next person, but I don't have to have it seven days a week, three times a day to be happy. | |
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| How Do You Rate The Importance of Sex In A Relationship
Posted: 9/23/2007 1:44:19 PM | It's #1. That's all there is to it when you're talking about a romantic relationship. Otherwise, I've just got a great friend. We can talk about how little of the relative time spent together is spent actually having sex, but that doesn't matter. It's still the ONE thing that differentiates your friendships from your romantic relationships.
If you lose the ability to connect sexually in a long-term relationship, stop considering it the #1 relationship necessity, you end up with exactly what many people say they want on their profile...Friends..if you're lucky. | |
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| How Do You Rate The Importance of Sex In A Relationship
Posted: 9/23/2007 1:46:54 PM | Sex is very important in a relationship for me. No sex, no relationship. No relationship, no sex.
But sex begins way before bedtime at night. That is one thing my ex never got. We'd go out and he would ignore me all night, yet expect sex when we got home. I've only had one relationship where the man knew how to make love to me without so much as a touch. He would catch my eye at a party, wink like we had a secret. He'd call me during the day to say he was thinking of me, or heard a joke, he couldn't wait to tell me. And on and on. By the time we got home, we couldn't wait to rip each other's clothes off. Unfortunately, the relationship didn't last long, due to other problems. I'm still looking for that in a man. | |
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| How Do You Rate The Importance of Sex In A Relationship
Posted: 9/23/2007 1:50:31 PM |
Arugula- It's still the ONE thing that differentiates your friendships from your romantic relationships.
Precisely. Cuddling, holding hands, et cetera is all well and good, and certainly has it's own level of importance, but if the sex doesn't work, then really you're just intimate friends.
If I want friends, I'll find friends. If I want a lover, I'll find a lover. If I'm lucky, I'll find someone who's both. But sex still has to play a part, because once the passion goes, the rest is sure to follow. | |
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| How Do You Rate The Importance of Sex In A Relationship
Posted: 9/23/2007 3:03:37 PM | Although sex is not everything that makes up a great, romantic relationship it is certainly VERY important. It's one of the vital components of any great, romantic relationship. To me I'd say sexual compatibility makes up 20% of the relationship, along with being "in love", having trust, friendship, same goals and outlook for the future. When the sex life is bad...it then becomes 80% of the problem.
IMHO...I rate it high! | |
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| How Do You Rate The Importance of Sex In A Relationship
Posted: 9/23/2007 3:50:12 PM | But what about imtimate conversation, taking a walk and holding hands, cuddling on the couch without it leading to the bedroom
This thread just goes to show you that people will always find something to complain about in a realtionship,never satisfied with what they have.If he never wanted sex you would complain about that too...wouldn't you?
Cuddling and touching without sexual overtones is very very imporant in a relationship--it proves to the woman she is more valueable than a sex toy! When that is all he wants -- he can hit the road.
If a man is faithful in a monogamous relationship and the woman has an attitude like you no wonder guys cheat!If your worth is determined by someone else then you should probably get some therapy.I don't understand the problem all the points you are making are valid but if the relationship is important why such negative attitudes.Why don't you just tell the man who allegedly means so much to you what you are lacking in your relationship and how you feel.Give him a chance to fix the problem if possible, if he does not then leave him or whatever.I thought women were supposed to be the great communicators.... | |
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| How Do You Rate The Importance of Sex In A Relationship
Posted: 9/23/2007 4:27:41 PM | | i think people must be sexually the same in a relationship : two freaks dating eachother with two 'prudes' dating eachother will work, one wanting sex more than the other will cause an issue. personally i think its highly important and would be willin to guess many failed marriages on a poor sex life ( and infidelity ).. not the number one thing but its wrapped around a core. | |
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| How Do You Rate The Importance of Sex In A Relationship
Posted: 9/23/2007 6:52:46 PM | This one is easy to answer from my point of view....
Sex is the reflection of the state of a relationship. In easier terms, if the sex sucks likely the relationship does too. Without intimacy of the mind how can 2 people truly have intimacy in the body and soul? | |
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| How Do You Rate The Importance of Sex In A Relationship
Posted: 9/23/2007 7:06:13 PM | It's very easy to have intimacy of the body without intimacy of the mind.
People do it all the time.
Some people stay married their whole lives without any intimacy of the mind.
Relationships are a lot like automobiles.
Some people want to drive a car but don't want to invest in owning one.
Some people want to own a car but are afraid to drive it.
A few people actually own a car and drive it too. | |
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| How Do You Rate The Importance of Sex In A Relationship
Posted: 9/23/2007 7:43:07 PM | | After making my previous post I realized I neglected to say one more thing that I think is also VERY important. True love to me is unconditional. If I was in a relationship...most especially married and God forbid something happened where sex was not possible. I would still love my man no matter what and would work this issue out the best way possible. If the situation was reversed I would hope that he would too. Again ...it's all about unconditional love. That is the MOST important factor in the relationship above anything else. | |
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| How Do You Rate The Importance of Sex In A Relationship
Posted: 9/24/2007 12:39:18 AM | A very famous author and acclaimed psychologist addresses this issue of sex between a man and a woman very clearly, at least in my point of view.
Quote:
"It is through sex that a man's heart opens, allowing him to experience both his loving feelings and his hunger for love as well. Ironically, it is sex that allows a man to feel his needs for love, while it is receiving love that helps a woman to feel her hunger for sex."
I strongly believe that this statement shows the primary difference between men and women and if both sides understand this, an intimate relationship has a much better chance of blossoming into something that can last a lifetime.
I also believe that sex as used above can be defined differently, depending on the specifics of the couple that are involved; foreplay, intercourse, some level of personal intimacy, deep emotional understanding or in some cases, simply hugging and being there for each other.
P.S. Knowledge is power. Reading provides the knowledge, understanding that knowledge provides the power.  | |
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| How Do You Rate The Importance of Sex In A Relationship
Posted: 9/24/2007 10:23:09 PM | Sex is very important to a relationship. It is the most exclusive showing of intimacy. Think about it - all other aspects of a relationship are also things that can be done with others (friends, family, co-workers, etc.). Meaning, with someone other than your mate you can have dinner, see a movie, have a conversation, buy a house, take the kids swimming, etc. - you get the idea. Sex is the only thing that the two of you can have exclusively.
And that's not to say it's the most important thing. There are many aspects to a relationship and I think all are equally important. Without sex or love or caring or understanding, etc. the relationship would most surely die. | |
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| How Do You Rate The Importance of Sex In A Relationship
Posted: 9/25/2007 5:16:59 AM | | Sex is very important ---- the better the communication, the better the sex. Can't have truly great sex without the closeness developed through spending time together doing things, talking, building confidence in each other.......Sex can be a never ending exploration of each other just as conversation and interests are. But it's important to appreciate each and every experience as different and if you try to duplicate past experiences with other partners or even your current one, you are likely to be disappointed. It's best to just think every touch is a new and exciting gift you give to each other. | |
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| How Do You Rate The Importance of Sex In A Relationship
Posted: 9/25/2007 6:38:54 AM | I agree with the above post! Sex for me is not a deal breaker or deal maker when it come to a relationships. For me it’s the icing on the cake when and if a fall in love with that special someone but I am just as happy and content cuddling and kissing as I am having full blown knocking the pictures off the wall ripping the sheets off the bed, rug burns on my….  
Sorry got carried away by a Gerard Butler fantasy but you get the jist!!..lol
Tori | |
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| How Do You Rate The Importance of Sex In A Relationship
Posted: 9/25/2007 6:45:04 AM | Anyone can have sex, well most people can have sex. When it's experienced with meaningful love, it becomes making love.
Making love IS a form of communication, using body language. Making love does NOT always mean penetration, as there are other way's to show your emotions by way of making love without penetration.
If the relationship is dwindling because of sex or lack of it, then there are deeper issues that need to be dealt with, as sex should not be the make or break in a relationship. | |
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| How Do You Rate The Importance of Sex In A Relationship
Posted: 9/25/2007 7:30:30 AM | For me, sex isn't just about the pleasure, but has a far deeper, and important meaning and purpose in a relationship. It's at the very foundation, and it is in affirming the love, and assuring each other of the committment, that the feelings of "cherishing" her stem from. There is a level of emotional intimacy that comes in response to my lover, if we are frequently lovers. If sex were problematical, it would take an effort to overcome the internal resistance to some levels of emotional intimacy, and expressing them.
So, if we made love the night before, and most likely will again tonight, it is far more likely that we will be having deeply intimate conversations. In fact, with the right other, every little thing throughout the day is an extension of foreplay or afterglow, in terms of intimacy. No, that doesn't mean that it's specifically sexual, but that every look, touch, or word is in the context of being "connected" in a way that only lovers can be. | |
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ndulj
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Joined: 5/27/2007
Msg: 50 | |
| How Do You Rate The Importance of Sex In A Relationship
Posted: 9/25/2007 8:26:55 AM | There is sex, then there is emotionally intimate sex. They are not the same thing.
Sex without the emotional intimacy is just a pastime for grins and giggles. Any of us can rut like animals in the wild but to stare into a lovers eyes as you make love and feel that shared closeness on a deeper level is what it is all about. Again, they are two different things.
For me emotionally intimate sex is one of the cornerstones of a great lasting relationship. It is the outward manifestation of the bonds that hold you together; the physical representation of all the emotions that there are no words deep enough to express. If you have not established that kind of connection then there really is not a relationship.
edited for stupid grammar mistakes | |
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