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| How Do You Rate The Importance of Sex In A Relationship
Posted: 9/25/2007 9:40:07 AM | I personally think sex is important in my relationship with someone. I don't think of it as just "sex" I think of it as a sharing experience and an expression of love. Sure, there are various types - fun, quickies, hours, or whatever. They are all great and enjoyable.
I also love just cuddling on the couch and spending time together. All those things are part of the kind of a relationship I am looking for.
To add another question to yours....what about the guys who can't have sex anymore for physical or medical reasons?
That brings me personally to a crossroads. I still want sex and everything that goes with it. I don't want a mechanical device in it's place or total inability.
How do you handle (no pun intended) that?
May I should start a new thread? | |
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| How Do You Rate The Importance of Sex In A Relationship
Posted: 9/25/2007 9:42:18 AM | | For me sex is very important...very high on the list, but not the only thing on the list, and not the absolute top of the list. Without sex, you just have another platonic friendship. Some people have enough of those, and want only sex. I want: friendship, companionship, conversation, a hobby buddy, romance, cuddling, some compatibility, and more...along with great sex. Just because sex is on my list does not make me a jerk. I only have so much time to spend with friends, so I like to spend most of it with the friends who also provide sex. The platonic pals, who won't provide sex, remain pals...but go to the back of the line as far as get togethers/etc go. | |
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| How Do You Rate The Importance of Sex In A Relationship
Posted: 9/25/2007 10:37:56 AM | no its not just u hon.....
sure sex is important..but what feelings go with it....i think in todays time...it means just a quick fix to problems..when really it is not....loving..caring...sharing...talking...knowing when that other person is sad..and wanting to fix it...its the feelings of love that make sex great!!!....anyone can go out here and get ummmmmmm as the kids call it there rocks off...sort too speak...but is it really what sex is..no...it is a bonding of couples and a way to show just how much they care....so...if i meet someone and the first thing out of their mouth is ....sex..lol..i say..yeah..i love it..but not with u!! for that would be all it is..and i am worth more than that.....everyone has opinions on sex..and relationship..what is really important is what u want...and what u feel..for if u do all things just too please others..who is still unhappy...u are..and nothing is worth my happiness....no matter how cute..handsome..wild...big....nothing...so be yourself..and all will be fine... | |
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| How Do You Rate The Importance of Sex In A Relationship
Posted: 9/25/2007 11:35:58 AM |
It's still the ONE thing that differentiates your friendships from your romantic relationships.
I'd disagree. Consider a man and a woman who are friends, who decide to have a "friends with benefits" arrangement. They've added sex to their friendship, but it's not a romantic relationship. Then, suppose he's satisfied with "friends with benefits", but she wants more, to make it a true romantic relationship. That additional component she wants, that would be romance, love. That's what differentiates friendship from a romantic relationship, and I'd think you can have that kind of romance and love even without sex, and it would still be a romantic relationship. | |
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| How Do You Rate The Importance of Sex In A Relationship
Posted: 9/25/2007 11:45:56 AM | """add another question to yours....what about the guys who can't have sex anymore for physical or medical reasons?
That brings me personally to a crossroads. I still want sex and everything that goes with it. I don't want a mechanical device in it's place or total inability.
How do you handle (no pun intended) that? """
Dearest butterfly, that is precisely why God gave men 2 hands, 10 fingers, a tongue, lips, 2 feet 10 toes, legs, elbows, ears, chins, and fists! You have nothing to worry about, just show the guy that list and after you cuddle for a long time like 3-4 minutes, START EXPERIMENTING, maybe you can invent a new sex act or set a World's Record! | |
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| How Do You Rate The Importance of Sex In A Relationship
Posted: 9/25/2007 12:16:45 PM | Well, unlike most people my age, I don't consider sex to be an extremely important part of a relationship. While it is fun and enjoyable, I think people move too fast through relationships and don't enjoy the simple things like a soft touch, a cuddle, a gentle kiss.
I would only move a relationship towards sex when I felt we were both comfortable and ready, not because I felt its what I have to do.
This may not be a popular viewpoint, but that's who I am  | |
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| How Do You Rate The Importance of Sex In A Relationship
Posted: 9/25/2007 1:42:49 PM | It's important if one persons feels it is and really important if the one person feels it is and the other one doesn't. Otherwise, I don't think anyone notices. Matching libidos is on par with with matching all the other qualites that make a partner worth having.
As far as the comments about whether or not you can have intimacy without it - of course. I also think you can have very frequent recreational sex - just because it's fun to do - play time for adults.
I recall a couple and the husband was always very attentive, always lovingly touching his wife in gentle and soft ways. From the outside it looked like he made every effort to know she was loved by him. She left him and their two kids for another guy - you can never tell what works. | |
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| How Do You Rate The Importance of Sex In A Relationship
Posted: 9/25/2007 8:05:03 PM | Sex is very important in a relationship and in saying that , respect and love ofcourse outways everything . You may be in love with someone who has prostate cancer or some other illness that prevents them from having sex the traditional way, but through love and respect a couple will find ways to satisfy each other that may or may not include sexual relations.
Even just holding hands or touching along with masturbation are only a few of the ways a loving couple can satisfy the need for closeness and of course communication and sharing being an even greater way to satisfy one another. To be able to share innermost feelings and thoughts about any issue that comes up be it sexual or whatever is the most satisfying aspect of any relationship | |
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| How Do You Rate The Importance of Sex In A Relationship
Posted: 9/25/2007 8:26:57 PM | For those who believe it's possible to have a romantic relationship without sex, I mostly disagree. By definition, both dictionary, and in the social sciences, what differentiates a romantic love from friendship is sexual attraction/fulfillment.
It's possible, for a time, for sexual fulfillment to lie in "anticipation" of a future time. That's especially true at an early point in life, where both are pursuing a paradigm of sexual abstinence prior to marriage. Very rarely will that be a shared paradigm for grown ups, and then only with deeply religious people, who, as a matter of faith, regard it to be deeply sinful.
The "exception" would be a couple who have been sexual, and then sickness or injury make sex impossible. The love is still based on sex, and it's 'withdrawal" isn't by "decision" but by circumstance.
Otherwise, it's not that sex needs to be, or should be, the constant focus. It's the "first need" for romantic love, though. If it's there, it falls into a balance, and validates and encourages all those other things that people point to. It's like, you need to eat, but very few people would say that life is "just about food". It's not, but if you were without food for a period of time, it would be the "most important" thing. Sex, to a relationship is like that. If it's there, as a regular part of the relationship, then the focus can be on emotional intimacy, and the activities of a shared life. If it's not there, though, little else matters. | |
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| How Do You Rate The Importance of Sex In A Relationship
Posted: 9/25/2007 9:03:47 PM | I think how important sex is in a relationship depends on what stage the relationship is at. If its a new budding romance then its probably more important than one that has been established for a long time.
Its been mentioned "what if the man had a medical problem?" If its been a long relationship such as a 30 year marriage I think the love that should be there would make not being able to have sex a non-issue. On the other hand if its a new relationship sex is ussually a big part of the afffection and intimacy shown between 2 people. | |
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| How Do You Rate The Importance of Sex In A Relationship
Posted: 9/25/2007 9:17:18 PM |
For those who believe it's possible to have a romantic relationship without sex, I mostly disagree. By definition, both dictionary, and in the social sciences, what differentiates a romantic love from friendship is sexual attraction/fulfillment.
But again, that makes incomprehensible the difference between having a friend with benefits and having a romantic relationship, or the situation where one person is satisfied with a friend with benefits situation, and the other wants more than that.
There is a difference between a friend with benefits and a romantic relationship, right? Call that difference X. Friendship + sex = friend with benefits, friendship + sex + X = romantic relationship. And friendship + X, without sex, is an asexual romantic relationship, where they can be like any other romantic couple, just as romantic, just as much in love, except without the sex. | |
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| How Do You Rate The Importance of Sex In A Relationship
Posted: 9/25/2007 9:32:39 PM |
There is a difference between a friend with benefits and a romantic relationship, right? Call that difference X. Friendship + sex = friend with benefits, friendship + sex + X = romantic relationship. And friendship + X, without sex, is an asexual romantic relationship, where they can be like any other romantic couple, just as romantic, just as much in love, except without the sex
A "friends with benefits" type relationship, in the real world, does bring some emotional attachment, and it is, in fact, a type of romantic relationship.
Two people, who are involved with each other's lives in a non-sexual relationship, have a very special friendship, but it is not a romantic relationship. For a brief period, it can "feel" like romantic love, while sexual fulfillment is anticipated, rather than experienced. It's a very real feeling "pretend", that leads into the real thing.
It's when people start to fool themselves that they can truly have a romantic relationship and be "in love" romantically over the internet, or scenarios like that, that failure to discern what really makes a romantic relationship, can lead to dysfunctional beliefs, and cognitive dissonance can result. | |
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| How Do You Rate The Importance of Sex In A Relationship
Posted: 9/25/2007 9:36:17 PM | | Well, this may sound a lil crude to some, but I'm a plain-jane country chick, and I can and DO sum it up like this for tha boyz......I have what some might consider a handicap...my heart is attached to my crotch, and ya don't get the latter without the former, and to get the former, ya gotta get warmer!!!....In other words, warmth, tenderness, hugs , kisses, plain old togetherness....will get ya all the "TOGETHER" ness you want!!!!! lol | |
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| How Do You Rate The Importance of Sex In A Relationship
Posted: 9/25/2007 9:47:38 PM | Are you kidding me?
Sex is EXTRAORDINARILY important. I'm not just talking about sex for sex's sake or "getting some." Within a loving committed relationship the physical, emotional, and intellectual connections all feed off each other. If there's something lacking in one area you can bet there will be something lacking in the others as well. Sex is the easiest to notice when there's an issue, but if sex is lacking it's probably better to address what issues there may be in the emotional and intellectual aspects of a relationship. | |
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| How Do You Rate The Importance of Sex In A Relationship
Posted: 9/25/2007 9:55:44 PM | Very very very very VERRRRRY IMPORTANT!!!  It's gotta be there for the whole mushy 'I love you - I love you too' stage - if it isn't, it will die a painful death. Later, it can tone down a bit - but OMG yes - it's gotta be there. I ain't a saint, and I ain't made of stone................ | |
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| How Do You Rate The Importance of Sex In A Relationship
Posted: 9/26/2007 6:58:22 AM | i agree, there is alot more to a relationship than sex!
i think that a relationship means more if you could just cuddle, hold hands, carress eachother, kiss and other stuff without having to end up in the bedroom all the time!
dont get me wrong cause i am into sex alot but its not all there is in a relationship! | |
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| How Do You Rate The Importance of Sex In A Relationship
Posted: 9/26/2007 9:07:58 AM | Sex is very important in a relationship. I think as women sometimes we make the mistake of expecting men to think and react the same ways we do as far as sex is concerned. Women find cuddling, walking hand-in-hand, etc to be ways of showing tenderness, intimacy, and so forth. I think men express tenderness and intimacy with sex itself. A woman might feel hassled when her man is feeling her up on the couch and he wants it to lead to sex: but girls, that's how he's trying to show how much he loves you.
Just my 2 cents worth. | |
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| How Do You Rate The Importance of Sex In A Relationship
Posted: 9/26/2007 10:10:27 AM | Relationships need a healthy mixture of communication, love, respect and sex. In a healthy relationship one knows that there are times when the partner needs you to listen and talk. In putting your partners needs first, hopefully they will equate it with love and will return that gesture with more passion and enthusiasm.
People change, as do testosterone and progesterone levels, so there has to be more than sex for a lasting relationship. Logically sex should rate at about 25 percent but in fact it rates higher for me. | |
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| How Do You Rate The Importance of Sex In A Relationship
Posted: 9/26/2007 10:16:41 AM | Butterflykisses
That brings me personally to a crossroads. I still want sex and everything that goes with it. I don't want a mechanical device in it's place or total inability.
How do you handle (no pun intended) that?
If mechanical devices are nonacceptable that rules out a sybian. 2 alternatives would be, HArd water flow or finger lickin good.  | |
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