| How Do You Rate The Importance of Sex In A Relationship
Posted: 9/26/2007 10:34:34 AM | """Romance is general term to refer an intimate sexual relationship between two people[1]. It is an exaggerated[2] or decorated expression of love[3]. It also refers to a feeling of excitement associated with love[4]. Historically the term romance did not necessarily imply love relationships, but rather was seen as an artistic expression of one's innermost desires; sometimes including love, sometimes not. Romance is still sometimes viewed as an expressionistic, or artful form, but within the context of "romantic love" relationships it usually implies an expression of one's love, or one's deep emotional desires to connect with another person. "Romance" in this sense can therefore be defined as attachment, fascination, or enthusiasm for something or someone, in literature similar exaggerated narration is called romance (see Romanticism and Romance novel)."""
Can I quote the Wiki on that? Yes, sex is "important" in Romance, it is too me sure, (because I am a shexxy stug). As seen above, not all romance involves "sexual intercourse" or even orgasm. But, there is at least "some feeling of excitement associated with love" or "deep emotional desire". Thats for normal people and most crazy people. | |
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| How Do You Rate The Importance of Sex In A Relationship
Posted: 9/26/2007 10:43:12 AM | I rate it fairly high in a relationship. It's not the be-all, end all, but I don't want to be without it, either. I would stay in a relationship where there was a normal sex life, but something (medical) happened to end it, but I wouldn't enter a relationship where I knew up front that there would be no sex. That's just me.
As for the Friends with Benefits thing:
How many "friends with benefits" situations usually end up with someone getting hurt? I'd say most of them. You can read about a huge number of them right here in these forums, where someone is confused and hurt over their FWB situation. I just read them and think, "what did you expect?" | |
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| How Do You Rate The Importance of Sex In A Relationship
Posted: 9/26/2007 11:26:29 AM | | I rate it very high; in all of its many permutations. Sex is a different form of communication, and conversation is critical to me. Sexual expression of love is thrilling, exalting, nourishing and nurturing. Nothing is more sublime than the expression of emotional intimacy with one you love deeply. But that doesn’t mean I’d want to give up the hunger of raw, primal lust and everything in between… including a hug that conveys what words can’t touch or the silliness of a good slap and tickle or those moments when nothing can compete with a deliciously well placed quickie. | |
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| How Do You Rate The Importance of Sex In A Relationship
Posted: 9/26/2007 12:11:30 PM | Hi tesaz,
I do not think you are odd. I enjoy lovemaking but there has to be emotional foreplay as well as physical. Emotional intimacy turns me on. Unless that is there forget about making love. I avoid profiles that mention sex ,passion, being horny etc. because I interpret that as "I just want to get laid." We all want to get laid in my opinion but there has to be so much more deep intimate relating happening for me to want to make love. Also I have to have loving feelings to make love. For me that means being deeply connected with the object of my affection.
So I think sex is very important is a relationship but I think intimacy is more important. I also think that there needs to be times when a couple has times of cuddling and affection without it leading to sex. Otherwise I think all I am to my man is a walking C*** and do not feel loved or cherished which is very unsexy. | |
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| How Do You Rate The Importance of Sex In A Relationship
Posted: 9/26/2007 12:18:52 PM | Except in unusual circumstances, humans are sexual creatures. The drive to procreate our species lasts long past the child bearing age. It's not mental, its hormonal and hired wired into the species. Psychologist Maslow puts in the first row of psyiological needs. People will often risk their shelter or food to get sex, and certainly risk their relationships and community esteem.
The reason people pair is to get reliable, safe and regular access to sex. Sex is a major driver in relationships and if there is not a reasonable balance in how the partners see sex, their is likely to be an attempt to find sex outside the partnership or leave the relationship altogether.
Of course you can one partner or the other sublimate their sexual drive, partners with no sexual drive altogether. I am speaking about the norm. | |
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| How Do You Rate The Importance of Sex In A Relationship
Posted: 9/26/2007 1:46:50 PM | | ""The reason people pair is to get reliable, safe and regular access to sex"". I haven't heard about that in particular. Just toss that in as one of the "many" ratings for sex in a relationships mentioned above. I for one am not in relationships for "regular access to safe sex". Maybe more people are???? I am there because of the WOMAN I love, otherwise, the adventure of casual sex is quite stimulating and rewarding too. | |
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| How Do You Rate The Importance of Sex In A Relationship
Posted: 9/26/2007 2:03:19 PM |
A "friends with benefits" type relationship, in the real world, does bring some emotional attachment, and it is, in fact, a type of romantic relationship.
Then it is developing some of that additional romance element. And two people for whom sex doesn't matter, but who are close in other ways, can also develop that sort of emotional attachment and romance element and love, and have a type of romantic relationship. | |
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| How Do You Rate The Importance of Sex In A Relationship
Posted: 9/26/2007 2:10:44 PM | as quoted from Wiki: ""Historically the term romance did not necessarily imply love relationships, but rather was seen as an artistic expression of one's innermost desires; sometimes including love, sometimes not.""
Yeah, I see lots of artistic expression of desires in the FWB "relationships". its a relationship not really a "romance". Like Point A is "related" to Point B. Ok there is "some romance" involved, but there might also be "some" parmessan cheese involved if they are italian. "Some romance" does not qualify as a romantic relationship, if its sex, then its a "sexual relationship" do you see the difference between "sexual relationship" and "romantic relationship"? I'll bet $50 most women on POF do. I'll post link to palpay account. | |
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| How Do You Rate The Importance of Sex In A Relationship
Posted: 9/26/2007 5:56:24 PM | | Sorry, but for me good sex is a make or break in a relationship. Yes there are many more important factors in compatibility (many of which are discovered before sex becomes a factor) but if the intimate connection isn't totally there, I can't continue to be with the person. | |
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| How Do You Rate The Importance of Sex In A Relationship
Posted: 9/26/2007 8:13:34 PM | Well I rate Sex to be a Common Back Bone in any Realtionship I believe this will come Natural with the person and how well they interact with each other, I also agree that it should be a romantic setting as well but of coarse we all want our Quickies as much as possible. I think you need sex to even out all the Stress that we all go through in everyday life and as well to be close and bring and saving your marriage as well your realtionship too much sex is Never Enough.... I would like to base a Healthy Realtionship on Holding, Touching, Kissing, Making Out, and the Making love to No Degree a Sucessful Sexual Experience you may or May not over come! So Bring it on...
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| How Do You Rate The Importance of Sex In A Relationship
Posted: 9/27/2007 2:07:05 PM | This is a late reply to FISHBILL
Yes, I know, and have tried some of the alternatives you mentioned -and you didn't even mention pills, needles, pumps etc. My preference is still the real deal. I think the fact that I HAVE tried the alternatives because of the lack of the ability to have the "real deal" shows that I am at least open to it. But if I have a choice....
The other matter of this conversations would be ....is this someone you are already in a relationship with or someone you just met. There is a difference if you are already in love with someone and things change. Love normally overrides anything else and you go from there. If it's someone you just met and you have choices as to go forward or not, then things might change.
No.. it's not the end all answer. It's a depends on the circumstances answer.... | |
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| How Do You Rate The Importance of Sex In A Relationship
Posted: 9/27/2007 3:19:59 PM | If the relationship were a pie cut 5 ways, it would be only one part.
I agree, there is a lot more the relation. Sex, for some reason is a giant focus.
Emotionally unhealthy women will use it for leverage to manipulate and control. And the men take it.
Emotionally unhealthy men believe sex is the way to show he really cares. They weren't taught how to love.
Is it possible to achieve that balance? | |
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| How Do You Rate The Importance of Sex In A Relationship
Posted: 9/27/2007 6:52:06 PM | | Intimacy is the absolute most important. Often, intercourse isn't even possible due to illness, depression, disease, age etc. When and if these occur to keep the couple from intercourse, does it make their relationship a failure? Not at all. That is where the intimacy comes into play. The holding hands, looking into one another's eyes, dancing, holding each other while they watch tv, you know all that sappy stuff, that is what keeps the couple together. During these intimate moments, they are with each other, they are one. They are telling the other party, "hey you are still my girl/guy, and I love you". The other end of the spectrum is the sex. If it isn't possible for both to play, then one or the other can assist the other, by other means. That is just a different form of intimacy. When it is possible, it helps to bring the couple closer to one another. They are joining their bodies together, and bringing one another to climax. That, in and of itself, is a magical moment. I know we are not thinking magic when it happens, but bear with me here, I am on a roll.lol. They are working to please one another, learning likes and dislikes, limits and just generally playing around. Enjoying the contact of skin on skin, and sensations etc. It can all work together to make the relationship. But even without the actual act of sexual intercourse, that relationship can still remain rock solid..no pun intended. | |
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| How Do You Rate The Importance of Sex In A Relationship
Posted: 9/27/2007 11:11:05 PM | | Sex is very important in a relationship. It is an innate response and something most civilized people utilize as a way to show our love to eachother. Of course, I have to be attracted to him and know that he respects me for us or for me to want to be intimate with him. For me, intimate conversation, hand holding, cooking for my man, him massaging me or caring for me are all acts that show me that he is deserving of our spiritual connection along with the physical. It's all a form of foreplay. But all that aside, I don't allow myself to get involved or fall for a guy if he doesn't have the right equipment. I just have that preference. If I were to fall for him and don't investigate the goods before hand than we would just have to find other ways to for us to get off. I've gone a long time without sex. Some people just need it. And, when they don't get it. There are problems. It's like when you quit smoking, you don't really want to be around that person until they get it out of their system, they either have to be without it for a long time and get use to not getting it. Or, they have to take a puff to get it in their system. Unlike smoking, sex is very healthy and can be very good cardiovascular excercise. :) Of course, there has to be chemistry and you have to be into the dude, otherwise it will dwindle and get boring anyway. Unless, you both had an understanding and it was a FTF type of situation to help two people relieve some frustration to deal with daily reality. Just my opinion. | |
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| How Do You Rate The Importance of Sex In A Relationship
Posted: 9/28/2007 12:32:14 AM | I feel old fashioned in my ideas about having sex! And that it is reserved for the man I marry legally and lawfully wedded. I know that many do not share the same ideas I do today. In fact, when men find out that I don't give out sex, they usually close their window or quit emailing me. That is fine! I am not a one night stand! No matter how long we were to go out.
Love to me is not sex, (Believe me, I am not an innocent woman), but I have chosen to reserve myself as I feel it very delicate and a very important and intricate part of a relationship. I do not want someone "used" like someone who has chewed the gum and then stepped on it. i want someone to cherish me, respect me, honor me, and that is because I feel these things for myself. If I were to give myself freely, then others take advantage and do not repect, honor or love me. They usually leave after they are done with women anyways...but someday that special someone will want me and then want all of me! I will wait!!!
Love is so much more...it is sharing the special moments...laughing...enjoying each others company...getting to know one another..with the phyical to distort and cloud my perception or the other one.
Secure Heart
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casam
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Joined: 9/7/2007
Msg: 98 | |
| How Do You Rate The Importance of Sex In A Relationship
Posted: 9/28/2007 4:33:11 AM | For me and i stress for ME, it is very important and i know this sounds very shallow but i would seriously consider ended a relationship where the sex had dwindled. I love the closeness and the connection it gives you to the other person.....nothing campares  | |
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| How Do You Rate The Importance of Sex In A Relationship
Posted: 9/28/2007 2:50:12 PM | Sex is definitely not everything..................but few seem to get it, Tesaz.
My rate of it ( in terms of importance in a relatioship) is 4 on a scale 1-10.
Intimacy is very important, not necessarily sex. Companionship, shared beliefs, common goals, understanding, occupy a good 60% or more. | |
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| How Do You Rate The Importance of Sex In A Relationship
Posted: 9/28/2007 3:47:16 PM | | Yes i do agree with you OP sex isnt everything in a relationship but for me id rate it as very important and put it near the top of my list. I just feel i need that intimate conncection in a relationship. | |
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