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| How Do You Rate The Importance of Sex In A Relationship
Posted: 9/28/2007 3:59:49 PM | Just be careful not to sleep with a guy too soon! I just found out a POF guy i was dating i thought was really great -- BUT it turns out he is a Player! Just as long as you are into the sex and he is respectful and usues condoms, then just be careful of your heart! Sex is very very important... as much as "intimacy" is, - which can be physical or psychological... but if the sex is lame, absent or the "only" priority - then the relationship will dwindle... BUT if you care a lot about the guy be careful -- you could get hurt if there is no committment - he could be just dating a whole buncha women getting some sex from them all - or hoping to eventually - (like i have found out the hard way!)...
most women and men love sex and it is powerful and fulfilling real basic desires... but just be careful about what type of person u choose to sleep with -- and be careful of your emotional connection cuz it will deepen even if you dont want it to!!
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| How Do You Rate The Importance of Sex In A Relationship
Posted: 9/28/2007 4:52:17 PM | | When the sex is good in a relationship Ii.e. both partners are satisfied with its frequency, excitement, etc.) then it makes up 10-20% of the importance of the relationship. When it is not good, it makes up 70-80% of the relationship. | |
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ur2di4
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Joined: 9/1/2007
Msg: 103 | |
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ur2di4
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Joined: 9/1/2007
Msg: 104 | |
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| How Do You Rate The Importance of Sex In A Relationship
Posted: 9/29/2007 8:13:04 PM | the Key Words in the original post is "..In a Relationship.."
going by that, i would say for me("in a Relationship") oh, about a 9.5! Sex is the glue that holds the NECESSARY Things in place, ASSUMING THEY ARE 'THERE'.. ie: communication, trust,respect,compatability,etc...  | |
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| How Do You Rate The Importance of Sex In A Relationship
Posted: 10/2/2007 7:40:10 PM | It is very very important to me, but it still is behind a couple of other qualities such as honesty, and verbal intimacy (express one's deepest desires and thoughts).
Regarding sexual compatibility, important factors to me are frequency, desire for a wide variety of sex acts, having fantasies, etc.....
Having a willing partner is simply not enough for me. She must have sexual desires and fantasies of her own. I admire women that have and admit sexual needs. | |
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| How Do You Rate The Importance of Sex In A Relationship
Posted: 10/2/2007 9:59:28 PM | | Without passion there is no sex . Without imagination there is no passion, without passion there is no drive, without drive there is no sexual difference. without that ALL IS EQUAL so therefore all is driven by lust and such becomes the reason that life begins and ends. The journey becomes more complicted the farther we stray from the four principale of life.( Play, befriend, play with your friend, stay friends, and find new friends,) | |
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| How Do You Rate The Importance of Sex In A Relationship
Posted: 10/3/2007 6:42:42 AM | IMO sex is very important in a relationship, but it's not the only part of a relationship. But it does make things suspect when the sex drive dwindles and there is no apparent reason for it to slow down. I do enjoy conversation, holding hands and cuddling, but I do enjoy the pleasures of sharing each others bodies a whole lot more. It doesn't have to be marathon sex, but it does have to exist to be a successful relationship.    | |
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| How Do You Rate The Importance of Sex In A Relationship
Posted: 10/3/2007 6:47:48 AM | | I guess it depends. I like sex a lot. So to me it is important. I want it frequently and for long periods of time. If my mate is the opposite then it will not work. It don't matter how well you get along in other areas. Now great sex can make up for other things too. If your partner really rocks your world sexually you are more inclined to overlook things you might not normally. If your one of the couples that has sex for 15 minutes a week sex is not important, but if you want to get naked with your partner everyday for an hour or two you can see it is a bigger issue. | |
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| How Do You Rate The Importance of Sex In A Relationship
Posted: 10/3/2007 6:55:44 AM | | Simply, sex is to a romantic relationship, as food is to living life. It's a basic, foundational need. Sometimes, it's just affirmation of feelings and purpose, as the glue that holds all the other things in place. It won't be the focus, because it's always there, so that the two working together can build upon it, all those other things that people talk about. Sometimes, though, it is a celebration and feast, memorable and ecstatic, and those times are wonderful. Either way, though, if sex isn't natural, and the two aren't naturally compatible sexually, then everything else is pointless. | |
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| How Do You Rate The Importance of Sex In A Relationship
Posted: 10/3/2007 7:20:15 AM | I think the importance of sex in a relationship is different from person to person for different reasons. My ex placed a very high degree of importance on sex as a means of "problem solving" - way too much importance in my opinion. She would always say, "Whenever I'm REALLY mad, just grab me, throw me down, and make love to me."
I actually tried that for a while, and yea, as bizarre as it sounds, she was right, multiple orgasms would definitely fix just about anything she was miffed about, but it didn't solve the problem for me. I always thought that line of reasoning was pretty jacked up, and after a while, that just quit working for me. That doesn't SOLVE problems in a relationship, it just patches them up temporarily. Besides, it reminds me of a country song I have called "It's hard to kiss the lips at night that chew your ass out all day long"! lol | |
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| How Do You Rate The Importance of Sex In A Relationship
Posted: 10/3/2007 7:42:28 AM |
When the sex is good in a relationship Ii.e. both partners are satisfied with its frequency, excitement, etc.) then it makes up 10-20% of the importance of the relationship. When it is not good, it makes up 70-80% of the relationship.
Good thought!!! If you are together 24/7 sex is likely to occupy 10% or less of those hours so in reality it's the amount of "love making" [intimacy] outside the bedroom that truly counts. If the intimate part of the r/s is unsatisfactory then, as previous poster suggests, it will occupy the mind to the detriment of other "non-sexual" relationship considerations. Life must be in balance to harmonize. With my SO our LM begins the moment I walk into her home [or she into mine] with touching, sharing, intimate conversation, etc that progresses through everything we do from meal preparation to bathtime and it's beautiful:-)
"Knowing each other's hearts
can be a path to intimacy, but
sometimes intimacy can be the path
to each other's hearts". | |
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| How Do You Rate The Importance of Sex In A Relationship
Posted: 10/3/2007 7:59:21 AM | Melo,
I always look forward to reading your post......
Simply, sex is to a romantic relationship, as food is to living life. It's a basic, foundational need. Sometimes, it's just affirmation of feelings and purpose, as the glue that holds all the other things in place. It won't be the focus, because it's always there, so that the two working together can build upon it, all those other things that people talk about. Sometimes, though, it is a celebration and feast, memorable and ecstatic, and those times are wonderful. Either way, though, if sex isn't natural, and the two aren't naturally compatible sexually, then everything else is pointless.
Exactly!!!! You wrote it better than I did, but that pretty much sums up my thoughts on it.
Is mind-reading one of your other talents? (just joking!) | |
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| How Do You Rate The Importance of Sex In A Relationship
Posted: 10/3/2007 8:19:10 AM | I think sex is important in a relationship , but not the be end and end all of it.
I think it more important in the earlier stages of a relationship.
I say this cos i think of a conversation i had with my mum.
My dad died but they were married for over 30 years.
Few years before he died he became impotent through diabetes so they had a sexless marriage. My mum said it really didnt matter they had so much more between them, tho it used to distress my dad.
However i think the point is if u love someone things can go wrong in that department and you have to have more than just sex.
People who think relationships are based on sex are totally wrong in my opinion. | |
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| How Do You Rate The Importance of Sex In A Relationship
Posted: 10/3/2007 9:50:34 AM |
Few years before he died he became impotent through diabetes so they had a sexless marriage. My mum said it really didnt matter they had so much more between them, tho it used to distress my dad.
However i think the point is if u love someone things can go wrong in that department and you have to have more than just sex.
If two people have a long term relationship, built over the years, and then one of them suffers sickness or accident that makes sex problematical, that's far different than a situation, where sex is problematical in the relationship to begin with. The foundation is set, the "wanna" is still there, and the absence of some aspects of sex do not detract from the solid foundation and committment. So, yes, sex was important. It's not the "physical act" in and of itself, but the surrender to each other and the relationship it represents, that makes it so vitally important. It's a wonderful and pleasurable part of things, but one can adjust to the absence of some aspects of pleasure, after 30 years of having a committed, affirming, compatible sex life. | |
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| How Do You Rate The Importance of Sex In A Relationship
Posted: 10/3/2007 10:24:43 AM |
Melo,
I always look forward to reading your post......
Thank you, lyricallady. I tried to acknowledge your comment offline, but, alas, couldn't sent email. The salient point, in terms of the thread is, that you seem to "have it right" in terms of the attitudes you, also, have expressed. I hear you saying, that sex isn't "all" of a relationship, but it is interwoven throughout the fabric of a relationship. | |
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| How Do You Rate The Importance of Sex In A Relationship
Posted: 10/3/2007 10:39:33 AM | | Sex is very important in a relationship. Without it, there is no relationship. A man must listen to each individual woman as to what she likes and how to stroke and touch her the way she likes so he can turn her on. For example I do not like like a oral contact of any type. I want to be stroke and touch in the right places and this done with the right stroke and touch before and during intercourse. During intercouse a man must get to know the moves each individual woman likes too. | |
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| How Do You Rate The Importance of Sex In A Relationship
Posted: 10/3/2007 11:07:38 AM | I can really appreciate what goofyblondchic said a couple days ago: """"Intimacy is the absolute most important. Often, intercourse isn't even possible due to illness, depression, disease, age etc. When and if these occur to keep the couple from intercourse, does it make their relationship a failure? Not at all. That is where the intimacy comes into play. The holding hands, looking into one another's eyes, dancing, holding each other while they watch tv, you know all that sappy stuff, that is what keeps the couple together""""""
And a few other women expressed similar sentiment. What I am also surprised and was "NAIVE" about, until now, is the large number (40% or so) OF WOMEN, who really need or require SEXUAL INTERCOURSE... not oral, not toys, not finger action, not fisting, not cuddling, not intimacy, BUT MALE ON FEMALE GENITAL PENETRATION (I just love writing that ). I really thought for years and years until yesterday, that was " a guy thing". Live and learn.
PS Lyrical lady, if you love sex so much, you should mention it in your profile, then more guys might "get you". | |
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| How Do You Rate The Importance of Sex In A Relationship
Posted: 10/3/2007 11:25:50 AM | I think that you are all hitting around the answer. Making LOVE is to me a long string of thinking: longing for you at work, stopping for a favorite bottle of wine, stopping an picking up flowers, dressing for a romantic dinner. Showering together and wearing the special after shave. Having a romantic dinner and returning home for that cooled bottle of wine. Lots of cuddling with at least 1hr of forplay. Carring you off the couch to a long evening of wonderful love.
When i do things as mentioned I not only am fullfilled, but so is my partner, and it lasts long into the night. You people are giving the final act of SEX as the whole thing. It isent, just the final. The entire Lovemaking is much more. When I have a quicky, both me and my partner feel cheated | |
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| How Do You Rate The Importance of Sex In A Relationship
Posted: 10/3/2007 11:31:36 AM | | Great Topic and here's my thought for the moment. Sex is part of a relationship for me its the important part. Whether or not anyone will admit it if someone is unavailable sexually or not very interested in it then I probably will not have much in common. Sex is natural form of expression. If two people have everything else going for them sex can concrete their relationship. It forms a bond. I would rate it top on my list. Now saying that I am a very private person and I don't do sex just for the heck of doing sex. But with the right person I because very sexual in everything I do including the dishes. I tend to be day dreamy about my partner. Sex with the right person is amazing and freeing. Gosh this makes me miss my X,,,,,,,,,,he not only was the most sexual man that I had ever meant he was was the whole works....Makes me miss him,,,,,,,,,,Nice thought ..........Smiles Sherrie | |
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| How Do You Rate The Importance of Sex In A Relationship
Posted: 10/3/2007 12:11:38 PM | Sex is important in any relationship. I am a widow and the last 3 years of my marraige were "almost" sexless. But we had our memories of GREAT sex and just expanded on our closness and touching and caring to carry us through , So when beginning a relationship sex is important. I feel that is another way to deeply connect with your partner and to become one with each other. Passion Passion Passion. It's hard to find that person who already knows all the things the turn your thermostat on from the beginning it's always a journey that hopefully you will stay on the same path together. Good luck to all. Hoping to find that tingle.  | |
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