| what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 10/18/2005 12:00:01 AM | | Geez Alarmed & Victorious Angel, I don't know what to say here, I mean, your children are actually hitting YOU? This is something that must have been going on for awhile? I mean the y didn't just turn 14 and start punching you did they? If you never struck them before in their lives where did they learn that hitting was acceptable? This just seems so messed up and a** backwards to me... Against the law to spank sure, but I wouldn't be lookin' to spank no snot nosed adolecent laying his/her hands on me, they'd be looking to get laid out!!! Especially if it was my child treating me like that. Is there a law saying you can't DEFEND yourself too???!!!! In Canada the exact same severity of charge, of "assault" applies if you smack someone across the face; or you beat them within an inch of their life, so I'd take the charge if my child thought to play that trump card! Just tell them, maybe they WOULD like their lives better if they were a ward of the court and shuffled from foster home to foster home! That would shut them up pretty quick, I'd be thinking. And if it didn't, then defend yourself from their abuse and let them charge you! Personally I think the reason you can't find anybody useful to help you is because they are all thinking the same d*mn thing...."That child needs a "smack bottom" right quick! Then when your child starts realizing what life will be like without you wiping their noses they'll back-pedal for all they are worth. But stand up for yourselves and take back a shred of authority from your children. I can almost guarantee, they'll respect you more for it,and that should be worth more, then any amount of "fear" of the law! I hope you find a solution and my heart just goes out to you! HA! Maybe you could hire a neighborhood youth around the same age as your children, as a bodygaurd...no "law" against that is there? | |
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| what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 10/18/2005 12:35:52 AM | guapisimo;
I was never spanked while my parents were angry. I cant recall one incident where I was spanked that my parents were angry. But I do know kids who had parents hit them out of anger. So, I know what you're talking about. :) | |
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| what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 10/18/2005 1:25:02 AM |
when i was a kid i got spanked when i did something bad (i'm sure a lot of you were raised up like that) my kid sister (now 9) is one of those "time out kids" my mother never spanks her. my mothers idea of punishment now is sending her to her room. HELLO the girl has cable TV a playstation 2 her own phone line and a computer in her room how is that punishment?
Apparently spanking did nothing for you in terms of punctuation. | |
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| what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 10/18/2005 2:52:54 AM | I look back to all the mistakes
I've made and think maybe my dad
didn't spank me enough.
My uncle had the right idea.
Whenever his kids did something wrong
he would tell them when he was
going to spank them. it would
always be a few days later.
That way it gave the child time
to think about what they had done
and he wouldn't be spanking them
out of anger. | |
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| what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 10/18/2005 8:33:48 AM | | The last time I looked at the law it stated it was illegal to hit your kid anywhere except their butt with anything except your hand. If you were angry at the time it is abuse. If you were not angry it was discipline. If it left a long term mark it was considered abuse as well. That was 15 years ago when my kids were babies, it may have changed. | |
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| what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 10/18/2005 10:24:32 AM | | If it were so illegal then my childs school wouldnt have permission slip to allow a swat on the but to happen. But to each his/her own we all have our own opinions on the subject. My kids are good kids and know the word respect, granted they test me all the time, but as they get older spanking is not needed as much. | |
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| what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 10/18/2005 2:00:22 PM | | Well I'm glad that you know my parents so well, guapisimo. I mean, I thought I knew them really well, what with being raised by them and living with them...guess I was -totally- wrong. Yarg! | |
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| what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 10/18/2005 3:07:20 PM | really? my parents spanked me and my moms new boyfriend beat me.. there is a big diffearnce
I can see that in todays socity things are so much better now that we are not spanking.. the kids mudrer eachother, get knocked up at a rediculous age, the steal, lie , cheat, and talk with filty mouths to anyone and everyone, their lazy, disresectful and so on.. true this went on even in the past to some extent.. but not like today.. anyone remember the kid that got killed for his michelle jordon shoes? yep we have evolved all right.. sad! i will spank my kids you bet ya.. | |
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| what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 10/18/2005 3:52:28 PM | | Jimmi, I was just thinking how the world got worse after all this spanking=abuse started. There is nothing wrong with being afraid to do something wrong knowing that you will feel pain as a consequence of your actions. Furthermore, things got even worse when prayer, pageants and all that jazz were removed from schools. I am no religous zeloet, but if kids grow up thinking that someone bigger than them such as God is watching them too. Of course this is all just in my opinion. | |
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| what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 10/18/2005 3:57:23 PM | halo-
Why don't you ask your parents if they were angry at your behavior before they HIT you!!!
And you don't even have kids???????? So what the hell do you know about spanking YOUR kids??????? | |
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| what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 10/18/2005 4:13:54 PM |
So what the hell do you know about spanking YOUR kids???????
-I work with kids every day, all under the age of 5.
-I am the godparent to a 2 yr old girl who I also see every day. Her mother spanks.
-All my relatives are younger than me save for three and I have a huge extended family.
-I pretty much raised my sister for 2 yrs when I was 10 yrs old b/c my mother and father worked nonstop.
-All my friends have children.
So, what 'the hell' do I know about spanking 'my' kids? Thats an irrelevant question seeing as the topic is 'what's so bad about spanking your kid?'... not 'Do you spank your kids'. Just because I have no offspring of my own does not indicate that I know nothing about children, or what I would do if I had children of my own. And what do I know about spanking kids? I know that it worked for me. It worked for my sister. It worked for my parents. It worked for my cousins, my aunts, my uncles, my grandparents, and it's beginning to work for my goddaughter. None of us have self-esteem issues, none of us have negative effects from getting a well-deserved smack across the bottom. It never permanently damaged us, or made us want to kill ourselves. It kept us in line with what was socially and culturally acceptable and it worked far better than a simple 'talking to'.
And, for the record, I have asked my parents on several occasions if they were ever mad at me before they spanked me. And you know what? They've always said "No. We were not angry, we were upset but we never hit you out of anger. Spanking was a last resort to make you understand that what you were doing was unacceptable. You wouldn't listen or learn from any other sort of reinforcement."
So, next time you tell me that yes, my parents were angry, it'd be appreciated if maybe you'd have lived with them for the past 20 yrs before you opened your mouth (so to speak) and spouted off about something you've no knowledge of.
Best wishes,
Halo. | |
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| what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 10/18/2005 8:09:36 PM | | You should view discipline as teaching not punishment. Kids learn from experience. Yeah, you were spanked, your dad was spanked , your grandpa was spanked and George washington was spanked. SO WHAT!? That should tell you something.......It's a habit that has been handed down in the family and guess what? Seems as though it is not too effective or you would not have to continue doing it. Effective parents don't need to use physical force to discipline the child. If you would set clear rules and explain why these rules are important, that may just help. Consistency is HUGE when it comes to discipline. So is actually taking the time to praise the kid he has done well. | |
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| what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 10/18/2005 11:14:43 PM | Sorry but there is NEVER a reason to spank a child. You just need to learn many different options on how to handle your child when they are misbehaving as well as praising them when they are good and having a great relationship in general. As a teacher I've dealt with hundreds of kids and had my share of kids with behavioural problems and you know what over time if you are consistent with your words and consequences it pays off and works.
Whoever said raising children was easy but if you love them you would never hurt them. Spanking is just a cop out in my eyes. The quick fix to make a kid listen with life long repercusions.
As well, it is against the law and the minute a child states their parent hits them you have have a legal obligation to notify the authorities. Your child can one day tell his/her teacher or anyone for that matter his/her parent hits/spanks them and that's it you now have the authorities to deal with. Start reading up on some behaviour management books and look into parenting centres to improve your skills. Do it for your kids
Its every parents right to discipline their child..not sure where you are from that it's against the law to spank your child..but it isn't here. If my child wanted to report me for spanking them (because I'd never beat them) more power to them. They'd be spanked for a valid reason... Parents shouldnt be afraid to discipline their child with fears that someone is going to take them away. I think we have so many problems with youth today because they haven't been disciplined in life and think they can get away with everything. That's JMO tho. | |
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| what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 10/19/2005 4:23:53 AM | | ^^^In Ontario perhaps Canada (I'm not sure of the entire of Canada) the minute a child tells someone he/she is hit (including spanking) you have a legal obligation to tell the authorities. | |
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| what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 10/19/2005 4:58:20 AM | ^^ Bambi...you mentioned it being a habit that has been passed down.....
The only bad habit I see is parents letting their kids walk all over them because they choose not to discipline them. You can only tell a child so many times before they stop listening to you. | |
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| what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 10/19/2005 10:23:21 AM | | There is nothing wrong with spanking a kid there is something wrong with not spanking a kid. in fact when i am talking to a guy about dating or getting in to a relationship if he doesnt think kids should be spanked i wont date him cause i know my kids are going to get spanked. i know when i was growing up i hated it but i have thanked my parents (i have said to their face) thank you for whipping my butt cause i am glad they raised me to respect other people. | |
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| what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 10/19/2005 10:38:41 AM | The lack of discipline has worse concequences
than following up your verbage with discipline -
be it spanking the butt, popping the butt, rapping the hand,
or giving "the look" (something I am quite famous for with my son).
The look can be effective once the hand rap to hand has worn off.
I only had to major butt whip when laughed at cause the first swipe
became a back talk "that didn't hurt". HA
He and I and it appears that my siblings have grown up just fine with diverse discipline.
My grand-daughter, still under 2, responds real well to a raised voice or a blunt "NO".
Daddy is her demi-god and oh she doesn't like to dissapoint.
PS: I stopped dating a guy once because he didn't know how to discipline his children.
One spit in my face, threw fits on the floor in the mall (that one was 6); his oldest was in prison.... | |
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| what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 10/19/2005 11:02:07 AM |
^^^In Ontario perhaps Canada (I'm not sure of the entire of Canada) the minute a child tells someone he/she is hit (including spanking) you have a legal obligation to tell the authorities.
What do you report...a child told me mom spanked me?..what do they arrest her for? it is law in most US states that if a teacher etc even suspects abuse they have no choice but to report it. | |
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| what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 10/19/2005 12:55:00 PM | In British Columbia (where I live) spanking is not illegal.
You can start spanking your child at the age of 2. And give them one smack for every year they're born. So a three year old can get three smacks across the bum. You're only allowed to use your hand, and you're allowed to do it in public because..it's legal. | |
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| what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 10/19/2005 1:53:10 PM | Spanking and beating are different. If your kid pisses you off (and they can do that now and then) and you haul off with a full force slap across the face, you're gonna damage the kid.
If you explain to them what they did was wrong and give them appropriate 'spankings' on the bottom, message sent and no one is out of control.
Now, if your son decides to spray paint your car (LOL) just stick a 'For Sale' sing around the little suckers neck and park him in the front yard. | |
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| what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 10/19/2005 3:04:10 PM | halo-
LOL!.......Upset.......Angry........Potatoe..........patatoe..........Whatever! Spank away, but if you ever spanked my kid I'd show you what a real spanking feels like!
LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! | |
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