| |
| what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 10/19/2005 3:19:24 PM | I dont spank other peoples children.
And, upset does not mean angry. I can be upset at something but not angry. Example, I dropped a pair of earrings I was making for my sister this morning. They just had been taking out of the oven and they shattered. I was upset that they broke. Does that mean I was angry? No.
My parents were upset at my behavior, they weren't angry.
But then, I guess you'd know because
1) you were them
2) you were me
so you'd know better than I would how they felt and how I interpreted their actions.
Heh. | |
|
| what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 10/19/2005 3:29:15 PM | I was just thinking how the world got worse after all this spanking=abuse started. hua?? when they stopped spanking things got worse I feel...I know we all have see the poor mother trying to talk to her kid in the store.. now jimi.. stop that..pleading with there child to behave.
my mother gave me the look and i stopped right then and there..or face her wrath! 
even had one friend tell me, balling, quote... "at least you mother cared enuff to spank you.. my mother never cared what it did" end quote..
you should never spank in anger, and only for correction, and only when your calm, and only for extreem cases. It should never be a beating, and you should explain why there are getting it. | |
|
| what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 10/19/2005 3:33:03 PM | Well everyone could learn something from watching Super Nanny, she never has to spank..........so there...........(sticks tongue out)!!!!!!!!
Halokitty-
You need a good whoopin!! | |
|
| |
| |
| |
| what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 10/19/2005 4:49:30 PM |
you should never spank in anger, and only for correction, and only when your calm, and only for extreem cases.
Nicely said.
I have a daughter, age 8. I used to believe that spanking would be necessary (some times) before she was born... but I have never had the 'strength' to actually smack her.
HOWEVER, I do believe that a little "pain" can help reinforce behaviour. I decided to use the "pinch", because it's much less violent... gets the point across quite well... and now merely putting my two fingers together in a "pinch" pose will cause her to immediately stop misbehaving. It's also possible to discipline in public that way... spanking in public can get VERY ugly. | |
|
| what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 10/19/2005 5:23:28 PM | Huff. Why resort to spanking when other options work. Everyday I deal with behaviours with my students and you know what I can handle them by using my words, taking away privileges, praising them when they are good, etc. If I can handle 25 without hitting one of them you can handle 1. The point is to be consistent and for the child to know basically when they come right out of the womb that you love them but you make the rules and they are to follow them. I also believe in being open minded and allowing children to challenge me if they think I have done something wrong. Firm but loving it works and I have dealt with children who are very aggressive, non-verbal and/or have other special needs. The point is there are other ways.
FYI -When a child tells me he/she is hit at home I then take them somewhere privately and have to question them without leading their answers. I basically have to find out how often it happens, where on their body, with what (hand, etc.). I also have to check for any marks. It is not my job to judge if it will become a case it is the children's services. They have told me the minute a child says their parent hits them they have to come out and interview the child and then speak to the parents. They offer services to the family on how to improve their parenting skills and do not take the child away from the family unless they really feel threatened for the child's well being. BY LAW I must report.
I am totally against spanking a child however, on a lighter note when it comes to adults ;-) LOL  | |
|
| what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 10/19/2005 5:31:34 PM | Hi everybody.
You do not smack your kids or let them see smacking at anytime.
If there is a problem, you have to use some wisdom. For instance, child makes problem, you get angry, child has been told too many times!!Well if left unatended for to long there bound to run amuck, and who`s fault is that ext.
Instead of getting angry, get kind, give them some papper and pencil and join in till they get going and things will be fine, or carry on the way you are and maybe this could happen to someone elses child.....
my very first day at the age of five being pushed into my first classroom and being told to go and see that lady over their as the door shut behind me.
I did as I was told, the teacher asked me to write my name on the blackboard. I didn't know how, I stood there blank she then proceeded to ask me why I had not rote my name down. My reply. I don't know how, she asked me to come to the desk, she opened the draw grabbing my hand. As I did a dance to her wrapping my knuckles , with her rule. And I will never forget. As I sobbed, the classroom singing London's burning I feel this played the detrimental fact to the boy throwing the metal object,at my head, maybe he enjoyed watching somebody else suffer as he had suffered.
After he was punished. He sought revenge and quietly one day , as I was trapped behind the black board. He attacked me with a brand-new lead pencil and stabbed me in the face five times almost blinding me in one eye. He was expelled. Two weeks later , his father made the front page of our local newspaper for putting a red-hot iron against his wife's face!!!!!!!!!
! sounds familier??? | |
|
| what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 10/19/2005 5:39:34 PM | well if i look back in history... 1900 and up at least.. they spanked and the people seemed to be pretty decent people and accomplished a lot..
also dealing with a child as a teacher i feel is much diffearnt then the parent dealing with the kid.. kids know how to play parents like a fiddle because they can play on the parents emotions and know the system..
as a teacher there in a totaly diffearnt element with other kids as well.. it's a whole diffearnt matter..imo | |
|
| |
| what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 10/19/2005 5:53:39 PM | | ^^I usally agree with you Jimi but not this time. Everything I know can be learned by a parent. It's not rocket science. If you don't want your child to grow up spoiled and want them listening to you all the ideas I shared work. Often my student's parents tell me they have a hard time dealing with their child at home. The mere mention of telling me makes the child stop immediately. Muaaaaa Ahhhhhhh Ahhhhhhhh such power I say go right on ahead and use my name if it helps and then I teach them some methods that work. | |
|
| what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 10/19/2005 5:56:58 PM | well marco.. i hold a steady job for the past 5 years and before that 4 years, pay my own bills, treat people with respect and dignity (most of the time) and always the frist one in to help another human in need.. am relitively smart, have some school behind me.. and i was spanked..
WOOAH! drummer.. i think your a spank a phobe.. maybe i need to show you how its done then you will understand where i am comming from | |
|
| |
| what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 10/19/2005 6:17:40 PM |
WOOAH! drummer.. i think your a spank a phobe.. maybe i need to show you how its done then you will understand where i am comming from
Oh my is it getting hot in here Promises, promises Jimi. How about I convince you not to ever spank your future children and then you get a reward. See how it works there buddy | |
|
| |
| what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 10/19/2005 8:21:32 PM | There's a distinct difference between a swat and hitting hard/slapping in the face/close fisted, etc.
I was spanked as a kid and as I recall I deserved each one I got. It hurt but was never what I'd consider to be abusive they got my attention but didn't damage me.
I don't have kids but I admit to swatting my dogs on rare occasions I always feel like the scum of the earth after I do it.
I have heard that hitting children teaches them to respond to anger with aggression which doesn't sound like a very good idea. Hitting a child for hitting their brother/sister doesn't seem to make a lot of intuitive sense.
p.s. - Super Nanny is pretty amazing and yes, she gets the job done without ever spanking! | |
|
| what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 10/20/2005 6:06:30 AM | | HUGE difference from being a childs teacher and a childs parent. I have been both and the differences are galactic. As a teacher I understand the importance of what a child learns and sees in my classroo. To equate a few hours a day with long term parenting is disingenuous. | |
|
| what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 10/20/2005 6:39:17 PM | People tend to spank because they don't take the time to honestly correct the problem- a spanking seems to be the quickest and easiest solution for a lot of people. Think about it. If you STOPPED long enough to think about an alternate punishment, how many people would honestly say that they would spank anyways?
Another child is picking on your kid. Your kid has told them over and over to stop. Because he already warned the other child, he hauls off and smacks him. He did it out of anger, not because that was the only alternative.
Quiet simply, when you take the time to discipline, you have taken the time to help the kid understand. You only smack when you are frustrated or mad. PERIOD! | |
|
| what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 10/20/2005 7:47:14 PM | | I plan on spanking as little as possible and always as a last resort. Spanking right off the bat teaches kids that violence is the answer to their problems. I think that it is called for when all else fails, but only then. I've seen too many parents order their kids around like robots, only to get pissed and lay into them with a feirce spanking when they don't obey. I want my kids to understand why I am telling them to do things or why something is wrong, not just obey out of fear of violence. | |
|
| what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 10/21/2005 6:27:40 AM |
People tend to spank because they don't take the time to honestly correct the problem- a spanking seems to be the quickest and easiest solution for a lot of people. Think about it. If you STOPPED long enough to think about an alternate punishment, how many people would honestly say that they would spank anyways?
I totally agree. Most parents just smack their kid and consider it over in done with, they think making the kid cry will fix the problem.
My son is 3, and I will admit some days a holy terror. He kicks and screams, tells me he hates me, that he doesn't love me, that I'm not his friend. I always tell him first and foremost that I am his mother, and anything I do is for his saftey and because I love him.
He has gotten popped in the mouth for spitting or biting. But after one time, it was never done again. He has gotten spanked, but each time I did it I felt bad that I didn't take the time to think of a better solution.
Usually placing him in time out for 3 minutes and then making him look me in the eye and talking to him about what he did wrong will correct the situation. He is old enough to understand when he does something wrong. Infact, alot of times I'll see him go walk and sit down in his time out chair and then have to ask what he did wrong. lol. | |
|
| what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 10/21/2005 9:22:25 AM | | The "greatest society", the generation around WWII were all spanked. They made the greatest changes in the world, the greatest sacrifices and the most good, yep...spanking turned them all into pedophiles, violent killers and drug addicts with no self esteem and self worth. Dont believe this modern psycho-social junk that tells us our kids will be scarred for life if they receive corporal punishment its just not true! | |
|
| what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 10/21/2005 11:51:06 AM | I think a good smack on the azz is good when all else fails. I would never have spanked my kids for spilling milk, being noisey.. all the little things that can be corrected with that "mother tone/look". My kids got spanked mostly for safety issues only, in other words if they put themselves or anyone else in some kind of danger.. then a good smack certainly got their attention.
I think it's a joke that parents these days are scared to spank their kids, but ever noticed, say in the supermarket, a parent screaming in a kids face - even calling them names??? They may not be spanking but they are doing more damage to the kid than a good whoppin!
Kids need to know who is in charge, but they also need to know that mom and dad love them and very importantly, respect them and their opinions.
 | |
|
| what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 5/4/2006 3:31:11 PM | I agree that it's not needed as much when they get older.
With two daughters and 5 nephews I think I've given out less than a dozen swats in right at 10 years.
I use a swat as a last resort; and when you do it right, you wont have to do it often. we talk about it before the swat, why the other forms of discipline didn't work, what I expect, blah blah blah... kind of like a cool down time for anger to settle down. | |
|
Home
login 
