| what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 6/6/2006 10:32:27 AM | | I was thinking about the cigarette situation. If I could turn the clock back and I did that again, what would I choose? I would take my dads hand on my butt..( it didn't hurt. I think I was more amazed that he hit me, for he never did before). If he didn't do that, i'm sure I would have lit up again and burnt the house down....from then on if he rose his voice or gave me the look... boy did i behave.Funny, I actually felt bad that I got him so mad. As though he lost respect for me.I know all kids are different and I wanted my parents to be proud of me. | |
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| what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 6/6/2006 2:46:41 PM |
I actually felt bad that I got him so mad. As though he lost respect for me.I know all kids are different and I wanted my parents to be proud of me. THATS IT by GOD THATS IT....all any child wants is respect, love and admiration. Continually smack good behavior into your children and you will smack the love, respect and admiration right out of them. | |
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| what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 6/6/2006 4:44:10 PM | | yes, true....I can only imagine the non butt smack and got a lecture.. I would have walked all over my dad from that point on....As I mentioned earlier....it's the ONLY time my butt was smacked.I never grew up hating him for that.. I respected and I loved him .And it kept me in line. Now, it's funny 'cause my mom I got away with anything.. and I had no respect for her.....True if you hit kids constantly they eventually will turn on you. | |
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| what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 6/27/2006 11:33:01 PM | IN my eyes.. NOTHING... Each child is different.. when I was growing up.. My mother broke wooden spoons on my butt.. But MAN DID I DESERVE IT.hehe.. and I turned out just fine thankyou......no police record.. not even a speeding ticket...
AS I raised my children.. son 21 now.. daughter 19, I tried every method in the book.. Time outs.. talking logically.. and spanking.. Depending on the age of the child.. each method worked to a degree... My son rarelly ever got spanked..MY daughter however.. lol got more ...
Now my daughter.. just the other day said to me.." MOM, I"m glad you spanked us when we were bad.. or I"d of never had any respect for you or Dad or the rules of our house, When you said to me..if you do that you'll get a spanking.. I KNEW it was wrong and there were consequences.. it Detered me from doing ALOT that I otherwise would of. Even now I know if you say to me, " You will not do that in my house", I know not to or you'll kick my butt." Out of the mouths of babes.. I"m proud of both my children.
Spare the rod spoil the child??? I firmly believe so. FOLLOW through on any dicipline.. wether its time out.. or spanking. That is I think the most important key. I dont see an issue with diciplining a child.. anyway a parent see's fit as long as it works.. theirs no lasting marks on the child.. AND the dicipline fits the act being diciplined.
The only thing I have an issue with are those people that seem to think they can INTERFERE in a child being diciplined by a parent in public.. IF the child is young.. say toddler-preteen, and misbehaving... LET THE PARENT dicipline Right there and then.. the child isnt going to learn anything by taking them home first.. most times a toddler will of forgotten what they did ten seconds later and wonder why their butt is being smacked. I refused to let someone else dictate how I was to dicipline my child.. in public or at home.. THIS is part of our problem in society today. the Goverment is taking over our parental controls.. And we wonder why children-teens have NO respect for elders.. or societys rules now????? PUHLEASE. | |
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| what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 6/28/2006 7:01:40 AM | I am a single mother of 2 kids my son is 4 and my daughter is 11 both fairly good kids but time outs don't work my kids get spankings when they get out of line,there is a big difference in spankings and abuse.
When I was growing up I got my a$$ busted well it seems almost daily,there was alot of times I got it for something I didn't do but I also didn't get caught doing that went unpunished so it all evened out in the end and I respect my parents to the utmost for not letting me be you know one of "those kids" the terrors that would destroy evetything within 15 ft of course I am a lil devil now. | |
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| what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 6/28/2006 9:53:18 AM | | But what is really learned? A child learns that if they do a particular behavior they will experience pain caused by a person much larger then they are. They do not learn that this behavior has natural and logical consequences that were caused by the behavior. Teach a child that every action, positive and negative have natural and logical consequences thus teaching them for later in life that sound decisions lead to good results! Make the behavior the bad buy not you....LOL..I think I am gonna print that on a T-shirt and sell it LOL | |
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| what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 7/3/2006 6:01:10 AM | WELL IM A MOTHER OF 4 AND SINGLE AS WELL...
And im NOT GOING TO AGREE ABOUT SMACKING A CHILDS ASS...OR WHAT EVER YOU LADIES OR GUYS DO...
TRUST ME THEIR IS OTHER THINGS TO DO ...LIKE RAISING THEM BETTER, KIDS ARE OUTTA CONTROL BECAUSE OF WHATS GOING ON IN THEIR LIVES...ETC.
Their are reason why a children or teens do what theiy do...if you spend more time with them, do things with them more...scoop to their level once in awhile..you will see what their really CALLING out for in their life...
One smack or spanking ALWAYS leads into more...and they do get alot harder...and if the child or child(s) cant defend them selfs BACK ... THEN BACK OUT OR THE GOOD PPL STEP IN like CAS and police and hope to place them in better place until you yourself get help and the child or child(s) as well...
SPANKING OR HITTING IS NOT RIGHT REMEMBER THAT...MAN I HATE SITES LIKE THIS..IT PISSES ME OFF AND IT ALSO MAKES YOU PPL LOOK LIKE SHIT IN MY EYES WOW!!!
LOTS OF PPL TRY EVERYDAY JUST TO BARE ONE CHILD IN THEIR LIVES...and CAN'T ...and would love to take a child and hold them and give them alot of loven  | |
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| what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 7/3/2006 6:10:47 AM | | I like to be spanked now!! (Just Kidding) I was spanked as a kid but I was a little **stard I see it now, I stole money from my parents etc!! I deserved it and a lot of kids need it these days, But look at the result Im perfect now hahahahha!!! Shut Up!!! | |
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| what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 7/3/2006 6:14:12 AM | | no need to spank....a couple good days of daddy bootcamp and they are usually good for another few months....they gotta be affraid to screw up lol how bad does that sound....give them consequences that really bothers them not send them to their room where all there toys are....put them in a chair in a room with no toys or tv and eat candy in front of them while you play with their psp....that will get to them....tuff love usually leads to them being better and make sure to give them lots of rewards for being good....LOTS | |
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| what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 7/3/2006 6:14:29 AM | As a Full time dad I took Parenting class and I have learned and know better
INCREASE THE NUMBER OF PRAISES you give and observe what effect this has on your child.
Effective ways to praise & encourage your child.
"Bringing out the best in your child"
»-(¯`v´¯)-»
ABOUT BUILDING YOUR CHILD'S SELF-CONFIDENCE
V
Value and give your full attention to your child's play activities
Listen to your children--watch for time when your child is open for talking--don't pressure them to talk if they don't want to.
Reinforce your childdren learning efforts by describing what they are doing.
Praise your children's efforts as well as theyr successes.
Follow your child's lead when talking with them or playing.
Spend regular daily time with your children.
When reading ASK open-ended question; Offer help when she/ he ask for it.
Create opportunities for children to retell story that they have memorized.
Encourage children to write thei own stories or to dictate them to you.
Read to your children often and allow then to see you reading.
Encourage children to make stories and act them out.
List of Behaviors to Praise and Encourage
Sharing
Talking nicely
Complying with requests
Good eating behacior at dinner
Going to bed after the first request
Playing quietly
Solving a problem
Turning down the TV
Doing chores
Coming home from school on time
Getting uo promptly in the morning
Making it through the night without wetting the bed
Making the bed
Picking up toys
Putting toys away
Walking slowly
Doing homwork
Getting dressed
Bing thoughtful
Being Patien
Being kind to another child or adult
all this will make a difference in yout child's life and
trust me you won't have to spank ever again
Incredibledad | |
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| what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 7/3/2006 6:45:44 AM | | omg that sounds so anal retentive....was that quoted straight from the book....i cant handle the romper room effect....im a full time dad as well and my daughter is my best friend....props for being a dad dude but loosen up a bit its ok not to listen to the book | |
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| what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 7/3/2006 6:52:03 AM | Try other methods first before spanking. Try talking with your kids. Using communication can solve a lot of problems. Use phrases like "Make a better choice" or "I don't like that". I'm not saying that a child shouldn't be spanked but I'm saying try other things before it results in that. Here is the spanking law from Canada if you do so.
New guidelines laid down Jan. 30 by the Supreme Court of Canada on the "reasonable" use of force to discipline children:
- Parents will not face criminal charges for "minor" corporal punishment of children aged two through 12.
- Corporal punishment unacceptable for children under two and for teenagers.
- No use of implements other than the open hand, such as rulers or belts.
- No striking of child on face or head.
- Discipline must be for "educational" or "corrective" purposes, not motivated by anger or frustration.
- There must be no lasting bodily harm.
- Punishment must not be "inhuman" or "degrading."
- Corporal punishment in schools is unacceptable. Teachers may restrain students, for example to escort them from classroom, but must not hit them. | |
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| what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 7/3/2006 7:59:54 AM | Its nice to see their are still good parents out in this world with GOOD HEADS ON THEIR SHOULDERS NICEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE U GUYS AND GIRLS ROCK IN MY EYES  | |
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| what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 7/3/2006 8:25:03 AM | Dear Not too seriouswhite
Maybe your parent needed to read that book and then give it to you the day you had that accident .
and those parenting class you might need them for your self
as I can see you never grew up
as far as boot Camp “a couple good days of daddy boot camp
and they are usually good for another few months....”
your right for a few months
if you would read and practice some of those technique,
you would make it last for ever, they would pass it on to their kids so that they would have a better childhood then you had.
I feel sad to see how you use the word anal it show how much of a dad you can be I would of think about it twice before I Type it but I guess it’s just what you are
Look at you now
Don’t be jealous if some of us dads know how to love our children, just learn and love by it.
If you need help just read that book: Incredible years | |
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| what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 7/3/2006 10:49:10 AM | But what is really learned? A child learns that if they do a particular behavior they will experience pain caused by a person much larger then they are.
Well Jazz.. given that you cant ask the neighbor kids to punish our children for us... I"d have to say that a spanking by the Adult/Alpha people in the household is a fair alternative. AS I said earlier.. each punishment must fit the action the child did to warrant punishment in the first place. MY children got spankings.. ONLY after I"Ve tried time outs, talking logically.. so on so forth. For my son.. talking did most of the work.. for my daughter..WELL.. she got more spankings.. BUt their both wonderful adults now and appreciative of the dicipline they recieved. Theirs a fineline between dicipline and abuse... some parents know when to stop.. others dont... ... But I refused to let anyone decide howI diciplined my children. and I tell my kids the same thing.. IF they ever have children. they're to RAISE THEM.. not nosey neighbors or our social system. | |
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| what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 7/3/2006 10:59:36 AM | SPANKING OR HITTING IS NOT RIGHT REMEMBER THAT...MAN I HATE SITES LIKE THIS..IT PISSES ME OFF AND IT ALSO MAKES YOU PPL LOOK LIKE SHIT IN MY EYES WOW!!!
It would seem that I"ve been lacking in my discriptions of how I raised my children. I was a stay at home mom... MY husband at the time was military... he was away ALOT... TD trips.. Gulf war....so therefore I did most of the raising myself... Not for his not wanting to be there.. it was his job and he had to go... Anyway... MY children were raised with LOVE.. Encouragement, support, Tons of hugs and I LOVE YOU'S.. and dicipline... the later being the LEAST of the bunch. however it was still necessary at times. So Spanky it would seem that perhaps you should be asking the children of us spanking parents if they think they were abused or neglected or in anyway done wrong before you go judging us as something so negative in your eyes. I"m glad you didnt have to resort to spanking with your children... Your very lucky.. good for you.. however.. NOT ALL children work on the same wave length.. I"m not here to judge others for their choices... Im here to voice my opinion on the action being asked about. End of story. Not to judge those who do or dont spank. THATS another forum I believe. | |
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| what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 7/3/2006 12:50:28 PM | | ok incredible dad....now i know for sure that you qouted that from a book because your english took a spill in your second comment....not a problem im happy to see that you are a full time dad, theres to many fall downs out there....as to my child have no worries she's top in her class, is very happy and has everything she wants....there is no and i qoute "NO" better father then i lol....ez breezy | |
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| what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 7/12/2006 9:13:08 PM | | Talk to your child? OK, just exactly what do you say to a hysterical 3 yr old who's trying to flush the baby down the toilet? | |
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| what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 7/12/2006 9:57:20 PM | | Nothing wrong with a good spanking. Kids need to know for some actions there are consequences. I was beat by mom and dad. (Deserved them too) I haven't killed anybody, don't eat body parts, and live a normal life. | |
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| what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 7/13/2006 1:16:54 AM |
Talk to your child? OK, just exactly what do you say to a hysterical 3 yr old who's trying to flush the baby down the toilet?  Cute
Or to the 6 month old that keeps picking at the electrical outlet cover. No matter how many times you shake your finger and sternly say "noooooo you'll get boo boos" and take them away from the area, only to have them return in a short time. Believe me after the 5th time picking at the protective plug cover a stern "NO you'll get boo boo fingers" followed by a tap on those fingers stopped the issue cold. Unfortunately his language skills were lacking so "talking" to him was NOT working. Mom said he would get boo boos at least with a small tap....he survived the boo boo's. The sooner children learn about rules and consequences the better. You can't wait until they are 10 years old to start telling them no.
I agree there is a huge difference between a spanking as disipline and a beating with anything that fits in a hand. I was spanked, sometime to extreme, and I grew up with a healthy respect for authority and laws and my parents. I even recieved a well placed strap on the hand at school(worse when I got home). ONCE and only once did that happen. Now I hear children in elementary school telling teachers to "F@#$" off and the next week I hear it again, and again and yet again.
I'm thinking the detention at school and "time out" at home are having zero affect.
There is something to be said about "sparing the rod and spoiling the child".
JMO
 Twisted | |
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| what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 7/13/2006 10:08:26 AM | I was one of those kids that got the tar beat out of them growing up, so naturallly I was hesitant to use any kind of physical punishment on my kids. I've pretty much figured out that what most parents think of as normal spanking is not going to warp their kid for life and some parents who use other methods find it just as successful. It all comes down to loving your kids, raising them to the best of you ability and giving them a good foundation.
What I see now days that I find truly disturbing is the normal power struggle that goes on between kids and their parents and the kids coming out on top. I see so much of the decline in respect teenagers have for their parents and the damage it is doing to our society. The crime rate amongst teenagers has jumped outrageously high in the last twenty year. And I blame the parents.
No matter what form of punishment you use or not use, there will always come a day when your child throws down the gauntlet. We did it to our parents and our kids do it to us. When a parent is faced with that power struggle and they cave to the child, they have lost more ground than they can imagine. Once you loose their respect, it is so very hard to get it back and your control over them slips right out of your hands. No matter how much you love them, if they get the upper hand it opens the door for more freedom and disreguard for your rules.
I ended up raising my stepson from the age of 10 because his mother was afraid of him. Sometimes you have to love them enough to be strong for them. | |
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| what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 7/14/2006 10:56:46 AM | | To me I dont find spankin' isnt the problem now a days, I find the people that go over board are the ones that make it hard for the people who are disciplining out of love for the child not out of anger.... so those people who are doing it out of anger are makin it hard for others to do it out of love to protect there children .... stop and think when your car get stole and your house gets broken in too , how did you treat your kids ? | |
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| what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 7/14/2006 3:27:03 PM | I'm not entirely sure how I feel on this topic. What I do know is that each child is different. There are some children who hardly need a voice raised to them. I think it is important as a parent to know your child. I was spanked as a child, but not very often.
I think there is also a difference between spanking and a quick tap on the hand or butt. Some kids' are more stubborn than others and a simple "now now, don't do that" sometimes doesn't work, whereas a more firm louder voice will work and with other kids a tap on the hand may work.
I do not however think it is a good idea to spank with items, belts etc., it can be abuse in some cases since one cannot really tell how hard it is hitting the child. | |
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| what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 7/14/2006 11:37:44 PM | | When I was a kid, I got my ass beat, face slapped or hair pulled. I vowed never to do that to my child. Of course talking, time outs, taking things away didn't always work. I have spanked my child twice in his lifetime. He is now 12. But he hasn't been spanked since he was 6. Once he started to understand consequences and such there is no need to spank. It was those ages between 4 and 6 where he pushed the limits too far, and nothing but a spank on the butt worked. Of course, other things were tried, but didn't work. But he sure as heck learned after the second time, that I meant what I said. Nowadays, if I tell him I am disappointed in his behaviour or taking away his Playstation---he gets it. | |
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