yna6
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Joined: 5/2/2004
Msg: 24 | |
| What are you prepared to give and do?
Posted: 12/9/2004 10:35:55 AM | | I give what I got...till it starts to be abusive, then I rebel. They don't understand that I will NOT redo the same work again and again when "good enough" IS good enough. I won't allow things to get broken "cause they can be replaced"...I feel no need for that type of attitude. Leads to a lot of consummerism that I just can't afford. Guess it all boils down to the $$$ again. Ah well...emotionally...I do what I can. I am not good at it, I know that, and make it known right off the bat. But I am very supportive, and will do what I can to help. | |
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| What are you prepared to give and do?
Posted: 12/9/2004 11:58:07 AM | | not more, not less? That sounds a bit rigid to me. I know there are times in a relationship more is demanded of one partner than another. No offense meant, dragonn, but what about those times? | |
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w8in4u
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Joined: 10/11/2004
Msg: 26 | |
| What are you prepared to give and do?
Posted: 12/9/2004 12:12:20 PM | Good question Georgie, it's made me think. For the man I love I am willing to be brutally honest, faithful, caring, passionate, compassionate, loving, trusting, supportive, accepting and open minded. I am willing to relocate. To put him first in my life. To hold him, listen to him, try to understand him, compromise, do the laundry, clean the house, but definitely not the cooking. I wouldn't want to scare him away.
I guess overall there's only very few things that I wouldn't do for him. | |
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| What are you prepared to give and do?
Posted: 12/9/2004 1:51:33 PM | I remember my dad saying, "In a strong marriage, you are showing conflict resolution skills, kindness and consideration. If those values aren't shown at home, it's very hard for the child to learn them. And having a strong marriage frees us to relate with our children in a healthy way. Your marriage will suffer unless you make it a priority, and continue to work at it. This is not always easy for busy parents. Little things count. Show each other affection, including a kiss goodbye and hello. Do small favors for each other, such as filling the gas tank for him or paying the bills for her. Teach your children what a happy marriage is by your daily example. Don't wait until the children are in bed to share your concerns, joys and events of the day. After arriving home from work, spend the first 10-15 minutes with the children. Next, it's mom and dad's turn. Let the children know that they are to allow Mom and Dad private time to discuss the day. Encourage your children to read a book, allow them to watch a short video or bring out a special toy or game while you enjoy some uninterrupted time for discussion and reconnecting. Go out together without the children on a regular basis. If finances are an issue, it doesn't have to be expensive. Go out for coffee and browse through the local bookstore together. You don't even have to leave the house. Swap baby-sitting with a neighbor; cook a nice dinner, light some candles and enjoy a romantic evening at home before it's time to pick up the kids. Spending time together away from the children allows couples to recharge their marriage and enjoy activities they may have done more frequently before children arrived on the scene. If your typical evening routine means separate rooms for work or TV, change your routine. If you prefer to read, discuss what you're reading. After the kids are asleep, turn on the radio and dance to your favorite old tunes. Play a game of cards, scrabble or chess. Cozy up to the fire and share your latest dreams. Get in the routine of taking family or mom-and-dad walks together after dinner or on weekends, even if it's just around the block. Mom and dad can have a few moments to focus undivided attention on each other in a pleasant setting away from the phone, TV and chores.
Make it a habit to touch base at least once throughout the day to see how your spouse's day is going. If he's got a big meeting or project due, call after his appointment and find out how things went. If mom is home with the kids, dad could check to see how their day is going. When a spouse is out of town, leave an occasional message on his or her office voice mail or e-mail. It will be a pleasant surprise among a string of business messages. Slip a loving note into your spouse's brief case or bagged lunch as a special surprise. A loving, encouraging word can often give you or your spouse the strength you need to make it through a difficult day.
Consider the unique contributions that your spouse brings to your family and your relationship. Write down a list of the qualities you appreciate in your spouse. Then write a note to your spouse praising and thanking him or her for the unique and special qualities and efforts he or she brings to your family. Provide a positive example for your children by also frequently thanking your spouse aloud in front of them for his or her work and contributions. Romance often grows from valuing your spouse for his or her role as a parent, and for all he or she does for your family.
Once in a while, pretend you're still “dating.” Flirt, kid around and hold hands. Occasionally, visit the places you frequented when you were courting, such as a favorite park or restaurant. Go to bed at the same time. Even if you're exhausted, cuddling after a difficult day can keep the spark in your romance.
Consider a second honeymoon or weekend away – adults only. Or ask grandparents or friends to keep the children overnight and surprise your spouse with a night on the town and an overnight stay at a local hotel. Being alone together for more than a few hours allows both spouses to relax away from the responsibilities of chores, house projects and children's homework assignments.
On an annual basis, such as after the New Year or on your wedding anniversary, go out to dinner together to discuss your goals and dreams. Expressing your goals allows you to better see your future together, and helps you work together as a couple to achieve those goals."
In my opininon dad was a wise man. | |
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| What are you prepared to give and do?
Posted: 12/9/2004 2:22:54 PM | | If its the woman of my 'dreams' she'd have everything I could possibly give. But the woman of my dreams is already, by definition, the perfect mate in every way. Impossible, but perfect just the same. The stepford wife that wasnt a robot? LOL. I dont think I would find any reasonable facimile in dating. I'm more of the idea that she would share my view that we both acknowledge the enormous benefit open to both in that 50/50 relationship (150/30 or 20/200 is in truth how it works out and is only sustained by LOVE, real sincere deep LOVE) | |
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| What are you prepared to give and do?
Posted: 12/9/2004 2:38:08 PM | | Wow! Georgie, you play chess too. I thought I was impressed till you said that. Now I'm floored. That definitely would figure in my dream list. But I'd always win anywayLOL. You seem very intelligent so I'll give that you may take a few games of scrabble on my unlucky days. My real dream would include an aficianado(a) of chess that trilled with the pursuit of improvement. Now you know my real love...darnit | |
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| What are you prepared to give and do?
Posted: 12/9/2004 3:18:52 PM | | Always be on your guard. It doesn't matter what you are prepared or do. YOU can't control this game entirely unless you are a **stard like me. I have my ways of dealing with the unexpected and the losses. You cut your losses, forget them, and remember you are playing this love and give game which is nothing more than a Casino. It's always a gamble. Don't go into it unless you are prepared for war and disasters unseen. To do so is to be foolish in thinking so much in a fantasy world. Get real, folks! Some shyt just aint meant to be. | |
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