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| Suggestions to avoid players/con artists
Posted: 10/21/2005 11:02:51 AM | I was expecting that some members might begin to think they were incriminated by the things I mentioned.
I'd like to address that if I can.
First of all, remember that humans have similar traits in the way they feel and behave. We are ALL cons in certain respects. Yes, we are. We must learn to master our environments if we are to live purposeful and healthy lives. That is not what I am referring to here.
A con is a deceiver, by nature. It is their nature to learn ways to "trick" others into getting what they want but they do not do this, once, twice, three times, they do this as a way of life.
A con has internal messages running through their minds that differ from an otherwise well-adjusted person. Some of the questions they often ask are: "How can I get this out of her/him?" What do I have to do to be able to sleep with her/him? What's in this for me? "How much can I get away with here?"
Cons make ideal salespersons but that is not to say that every sales person is a con by nature. It's important to use discernment here. I realize this information is quite generalized but try to remember that I'm referring to people who are like this as a way of life.
In order for a person to become "authentic", they need to be able to face the reality of their fallibility, their vulnerability and the fact that they are less than adequate in all areas of life. We master our environment both internally and externally in many ways and sometimes, we will select people whom we "need" things from in order to grow.
A con, however, sees the distinct advantage in using others to get what they want. It doesn't occur to them that they have anything to offer. They are filled with a sense of self-loathing so powerful that it does not even occur to them that their actions can harm anyone at all. They do not have contact with their "internal environment" or they lack a "conscience" barometer by which they measure their "rights and wrongs". They are truly powerless over the automatic thinking that motivates their behaviour. They don't stop themselves and ask themselves" Could I be bad for her/him?" Maybe this isn't a good idea. Perhaps I'm bringing more harm to him/her than I am doing good." Cons have no regard for this type of internal revision. They want what they want and they will stop at little to get it.
It is effective for some here to meet immediately and get that out of the way. That does not make you a con. It is also effective to want to know and understand the person you have demonstrated an interest in getting to know. That does not make you a con. However, if you rejoice in the idea of not telling someone what your motives are with them and that you are there only for one specific thing ie: money, sex, feeding off their energy, using them as a surrogate parent, therapist...and the list goes on..you are likely conning yourself and the other person. When you begin to do this as a way of life and begin to see it as an advantage to you, you have reached "con" status.
I was hoping that I might help to expose some of the predominant traits that a con demonstrates. Cons do not chase after cons. They chase after those who understand nothing of what it is to be a con. That is their saving grace because as long as they are uninformed and unaware, they can con them. So, most people who are easily conned are generally not cons themselves. But once you know that you are dealing with one and have the information available to avoid them, you are only conning yourself if you believe you can change them.
Lebanese Lion...I think you know what category you fall under here. It is obvious by your postings on the subject. Some cons are also clueless.
Just imagine what it will be like for the con. When his/her last breath comes and they know it...when the cards are stacked against them and they can no longer have the control, imagine being in their minds in that last moment of life when there is no turning back. When they face the bitter truth of death...even for them, such haughty creatures. I pale at the thought. I choose an authentic human experience. The con dies a very lonely death. They cannot grasp their fragile nature as a human being. It will be their first lesson and their last. Death always wins. | |
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| Suggestions to avoid players/con artists
Posted: 10/21/2005 11:23:12 AM | Goooollllllly Blast.
I meant I thought.... well....... you were the fabled Ms Jones
everyone tries to keep up with 
nothing else... at least the canadian one. I think each country has one. In China I think her name is SueLee
anyway, meant nothing other than that...
I like you, ya know  | |
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gfk451
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Joined: 10/19/2005
Msg: 54 | |
| Suggestions to avoid players/con artists
Posted: 10/21/2005 11:53:17 AM | | Riddle me this, Batman!?! Why is it all the women who claim to be "open and honest" post pictures of themselves when they were 17 or something????? Huh? Huh? Huh? | |
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| Suggestions to avoid players/con artists
Posted: 10/21/2005 12:12:21 PM | I'm not for these these dating and relationship issues but I want to let everyone know
for future reference, that I mostly agree with 99.9 % of anything Blast has to say about them. If anyone wants me I'll be in other forums, UNLESS of course I see something really interesting in these type threads.
No sense in letting anyone be re incarnated into a cat or anything, at least not alone  | |
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| Suggestions to avoid players/con artists
Posted: 10/21/2005 12:12:35 PM | I have a friend who met guy on one of these online dating sites who she thought was the man of her dreams. Just recently she found out that he was anything but that.
They connected the usual way, first email, then phone and eventually met in person. Next thing you know he's lavishing her with all these luxurious gifts, including a trip to New York to see a show on Broadway. Naturally she's feeding off of all this attention and feels that she's hit "the jackpot" even though she admits that she's not completely attracted to this individual. We all try and warn her to be cautious and as the old saying goes, if something seems too good to be true, it usually is!
A few months later he proposes to her with a $8,000 diamond engagement ring (yes, she did get it appraised to see if it was real....lol) After hearing that, we all thought hmmmmm, maybe this guy is the real deal and we are just feeling a little jealous. They both sold their condos and bought a larger home together to accomodate her and her two children. As time went on his true nature started to appear, he became verbally abusive, kept her away from family and friends and basically took total control of their lives. Does this sound familiar to anyone?
To make a long story short, this so called Prince Charming owned nothing, nope didn't have a penny to his name! He did have a good well paying job but all the money that he earned was spent and had alot of debt. His Mercedes and luxury condo that he allegedly owned were both leases and the engagement ring was bought on credit as was the trips and most everything else.
It gets worse, the house that they bought "together" was purchased mostly from her down payment. Apparently he gave a her a story that the bulk of his wealth was tied up in stocks and he would sell when the value was expected to triple. All in all my friend stands to lose about $60,000 of her own money and is a nervous wreck. She doesn't know how to get this psychopath out of her life and is fearful that he is capable of becoming violent. The worst part of this is her dragging her two innocent children through this catastrophe.
Although it's no consolation, she did see the the warning signs or "red flags" as some would call it early on in the relationship but chose to ignore it. Her common sense was clouded by all the glitz and glamour that most women can only dream of.
Sadly enough, she shamely admits to being the victim of her own greed! | |
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| Suggestions to avoid players/con artists
Posted: 10/21/2005 12:42:15 PM | that must be why they have sayings like.....
well...
I cant think of any off hand but I bet there are a lot of sayings
that come from that because its a all too common occurance......
(wink) | |
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| Suggestions to avoid players/con artists
Posted: 10/21/2005 5:14:18 PM | You know blast. I am in sales and I still agree with you 100%. I also agree that it is in someones nature to be this way. I do believe these people know what they are doing and have no remorse at all, It's always "NEXT" to a person like that. | |
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| Suggestions to avoid players/con artists
Posted: 10/21/2005 5:27:44 PM | kyle morgan-- you can't kid and ole' kidder!!!!
and old blue eyes-- you mean like no remorse living your life by this phrase...
SOME WILL...
SOME WON'T
SO WHAT!?!?!
WHOS NEXT!?!?!?!?!
hmmm, wonder who came up with that one????? LOL!!!! | |
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| Suggestions to avoid players/con artists
Posted: 10/21/2005 6:25:19 PM | There are always warning signs.
1. A guy often talks about his friends...that all just so happen to be "she".
2. He tells you he used to be a player.
3. Gives you mixed signals...he's no fool. Don't you be.
I could go on...There are so many signs. And, I know, because I often like to ignore them until all is said and done. | |
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| Suggestions to avoid players/con artists
Posted: 10/21/2005 6:48:26 PM | So long as women are women, there will always be players. Players KNOW what
women want to hear and they will more than gladly oblige.
Playing some women is like playing a musical instrument. Sometimes you just have
to take your time with her, other times it's just banging on the drums - nothing complicated.
You can never avoid them - you have something they want, and they have something
they want to tell you | |
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| Suggestions to avoid players/con artists
Posted: 10/21/2005 6:55:15 PM | Well Sweet, men are not the only players, i am not one, but i guess i believe the women are honest out there, WRONG, give you 3 examples, 1 , i'm separated from my husband, right, in the bedroom, but still in the same house, 2 , a little under weight, right, would have to run around in the shower to get wet, 3 , could stand to take off a few pounds, right, since when is a 100 lbs, a few? Head shots are so misleading, can tell you anything, thats why i put in a full length pic, gives the honest ladies a much better idea of they will be meeting, guess i'm just tooo damn honest.
John | |
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| Suggestions to avoid players/con artists
Posted: 10/21/2005 7:48:00 PM |
Although it's no consolation, she did see the the warning signs or "red flags" as some would call it early on in the relationship but chose to ignore it. Her common sense was clouded by all the glitz and glamour that most women can only dream of.
Sadly enough, she shamely admits to being the victim of her own greed!
The only way for a conman/woman or player to be successful is to feed the greed of what the other is interested in, whether it is money, prestige, trophy spouse etc. When it is all said and done there really are no "innocent" victims. As soon as one is looking at the another for what they can get out of them, they're opening themselves up to a sting in some manner.
Thanks for sharing that KyleMorgan | |
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| Suggestions to avoid players/con artists
Posted: 10/21/2005 8:21:51 PM | Kyro, that is also true! IT does not, however, condone a cons way of life.
Furthermore, I have received 3 very viscious emails after having exposed some of the con traits here...coincidence? I think not.
LIke I said, they do not like to be exposed...I'm definitely cramping their style LOL! | |
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| Suggestions to avoid players/con artists
Posted: 10/21/2005 8:31:01 PM | | I think you would be very disappointed to hear who one of them was. I know I was, and his reaction was wayyyy left of center. It never dawned on me till after, then I suddenly remembered...what could make them act this way...and wham, the con posting came to mind. | |
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| Suggestions to avoid players/con artists
Posted: 10/21/2005 8:34:46 PM | Well, I tried to email you, but can't...I'm the wrong sex.
I'd love to know if you decide to share.
OT: It's funny how people get so defensive when they risk potential of being exposed. But, the truth will always prevail. Don't they get it? | |
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| Suggestions to avoid players/con artists
Posted: 10/21/2005 8:44:47 PM | | Hi All. This especial for Blastkist I think you need to get a life you must get around as you sound like you talk from experience. Every one always seem to have the world figured out yet thier own back yards are the messiest.. LoL | |
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| Suggestions to avoid players/con artists
Posted: 10/21/2005 8:53:25 PM | EWwww! NO! But he should be....
Hello does FLAMING MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU!
See? I tell you they are possessed today, I kid you not. I think someone is "sicking" them on me. | |
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