| Suggestions to avoid players/con artists
Posted: 12/21/2005 1:32:38 PM | Beware Criminals, they are out for your money
Hark!
Beware Narcs,
they want to put you in jail.
Blasted timewasters are out to steal your time!
Beware players and manipulators and those out to get you. Oh NO!
But also,
Beware doing nothing.
You may surely regret missed opportunities and suffer being alone than the remote possibility of being wanted by another.
Embrase fear. Lock your doors. Put up your walls.
Hide believe that people are bad.
Project that fear that another can feel.
Exude sarcasm and mistrust in everything you do.
This is surely to gather the flies of humandkind.
Fill your mind with fear and stories of bad tales.
Arm yourself with your protectors.
Hire the private investigators to feret out the liars.
Look into his palm piliot, break the code to his computer.
By all means, install a bug on the wall and listen in.
Men are evil and beyond your gratious trust.
Protect yourself. Be in public. Carry your mace and pepper spray.
Have an escape plan. Project your fear into his eyes.
Shake when you hold his hand.
Let your voice trembe when you speak.
Shake with nerviousness.
Throw him off. Test him, change your plans.
Spy on him when he won't see you after work.
Make sure he is with the guys.
Look at his cell phone bills and lookup the numbers or call them.
Dream about mistrust and lies that he might tell you.
Think about if giving him your key is safe.
Put a matchstick in your door to see if he uses the key when you are not there.
Check your credit card carefully. Is he using it to charge stuff on the internet.
What kind of books does he read? Are they about winning and not about relationships?
Never trust. Never get hurt.
Be a rock. Be smart. Protect yourself alway.
Be one step ahead of your partner.
Never be conned. There is a con in all men.
Blast had a con for a father and then dated 2 other CONS.
OH NO! CONS are everywhere.
Hide the china and your heart. | |
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| Suggestions to avoid players/con artists
Posted: 12/21/2005 2:42:50 PM |
everyone probably noticed, (except for single guy 70)
that blastkist case (who ussually blows her mouth off),
had not one word to say after the mention of outlaw bikers...
I guess I don't have the benifit of having your highly advanced,"observant mind" to help me realise that every attractive woman in Sudbury is currently getting pimped to dirty old man by the Hell's Angels for the purpose of stealing what you believe to be your rightful inheritence.
And you'll get no more apoligies from me. My "neanderthol" mind insists that World War 2 vet or not, any lonely 80 year old who blows all his money on blowjobs from 27 year old blondes is a dirty old man. | |
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| Suggestions to avoid players/con artists
Posted: 12/21/2005 4:22:35 PM | How do you identify a player or con artist on this site? What are the warning signals you look for?
I take em all at face value cause I'll likely never bump into anyone from here...lol
I would suggest to others though, that they use their intuition.
If it smells bad, it probably is.
I don't think you can accurately define "warning signs" until you've spent considerable time in conversation.
To be fair, you need to give the benefit of the doubt without giving in to foolishness.
Just be aware and trust your gut. | |
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| Suggestions to avoid players/con artists
Posted: 12/22/2005 4:33:41 PM | I can never stop laughing when I hear all these conspiracy-theories about "players and con-artists".
In my opinion a person that dates multiple people under the pretense of trying to build a relationship but that really intends to sleep with each of them without committing to any is a player.
Nowadays modern dating has degenerated into an elimination-style tournament: meet person X day 1, go out for coffe with person Y day 3, decide which one you prefer, then ignore them both because the bigger-better-deal person Z swept you off your feet on day 6.  People, how can you honestly try to apply the same conventions to anonymous internet dating? Are you saying that if I message one girl that seems interesting, and she hasn't replied yet (or in my case, usually never  ) and I contact a second girl I find interesting, that I'm playing?! Give me a f#^2-ing break!!! 
I've had girls I've messaged with periodically with on this site and yet I'll sign in at some random time and see their profile with the headline "IM user". Since she's not talking to me, clearly she must be talking to someone else right? Does that action make HER a player? Do you see me freaking out and saying "Oh my God she's playing me"?
Of course not, because I have never even met her yet! What control do I have over what she does at that point? Heck, I'd do the same...
This is a site where the more rods use you, the better your chances at landing the big catch you've been dreaming of. If you're still on this site after that happens, then you're a player in my books...
End of rant
P.S.: On the BlastKist topic, when I look over her profile she definitely seems near 40 to me (no offense BlastKist, I just know you're well beyond my age of 26 when I see your photos), but she's a smoking hot 40 that I'd love to date if she lived in my town. A woman that still looks that good by that age is one I'd want on my arm...  | |
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| Suggestions to avoid players/con artists
Posted: 12/22/2005 8:39:55 PM | Blast
Message #7: Very good research - this topic should have been posted, oh, bout a month ago. The descriptions are DEAD ON.
You smokin' hot 40 year old girl you!!! ^^^^^^^^
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HOTFEM
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Joined: 8/7/2005
Msg: 137 | |
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| Suggestions to avoid players/con artists
Posted: 12/23/2005 1:55:19 PM | I would love to believe that everyone i have ever met is sincere. If you are easily trusting, honest and loyal you just have to hope you have met a good match..a man that will not take you for a ride. A man that really means what he says.
I gather we have to have a variety of different experiences in relationships to go through those that use, abuse and are liars to meet a good match.
Signs are hard to read...maybe that is why i have had such bad luck! I am hoping with my new man that my luck has changed..i adore him. | |
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| Suggestions to avoid players/con artists
Posted: 12/23/2005 2:22:34 PM | Dr. Phil had a show about this a few weeks ago. Very informative. Guys are far worse than women. I just wish women wouldn't lie about thei age. I CAN tell the difference between a sixty year old and a forty year old.
http://www.drphil.com/shows/show/641 | |
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| Suggestions to avoid players/con artists
Posted: 12/23/2005 2:36:27 PM | | I look younger than my age. Does this make me some type of con artist? I bet I am the only man in America who has ever been to Sudbury and seen that giant nickel. Nice little town. | |
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| Suggestions to avoid players/con artists
Posted: 12/23/2005 7:04:39 PM | "loser"? wow ironline, should that hurt my feelings almost as much as "neanderthol"? your mature, obviously well educated, wit continues to impress me.
1st you turned this thread into a sh!tshow the other day with your unfounded, bizarre, accussations, of somebody who'd posted on here. Now we've progressed all the way up to grade 3 level name calling. Pat yourself on the back an compliment yourself for me. | |
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| Suggestions to avoid players/con artists
Posted: 12/24/2005 12:30:04 AM | ^^^singleguy, let's be fair, since iron's great wit and intelligence to tell age is so much better than myself or anyone else, in fact we should bow down to his great perception and we should be amazed that he was adamant that she was in fact a con because she was in fact no older than 20, and that changed in his next post and jumped her age up to 27 ..... LOL
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| Suggestions to avoid players/con artists
Posted: 12/24/2005 4:11:00 AM | | Wow, blast you got it right, I was in the same boat as you, now I am learning at 38. I must say I am impressed! I have only been on this site not even a week and I have found lots of players. | |
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| Suggestions to avoid players/con artists
Posted: 12/24/2005 4:27:26 AM |         Players take lovers for emotional hostages. The damage is fatal. They don't take no for an answer to anything. I have gf'zs who have humiliated themselves in front of their kids by this emotional player. I have watched my gf'zs go into from a bad marriages and relationships to taking emotional scrapes from these three time cheaters. How do I know? The gals are my friends. And they stopped talking to me cause I warned them. That's o.kay, I'll pray for them and the damage it's done to their kids. Teaching them to settle for seconds and it's okay to be a player since mom's one and her bf is two. One gf is the club envy. The other has major money and real educated.   | |
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| Suggestions to avoid players/con artists
Posted: 12/24/2005 4:43:08 AM | OK, ladies, here's how to do it:
If you "meet" someone online, whether here on the fish or in another online site, and let's assume, for argument's sake, that you email back and forth several times, and let's assume further that, although somewhat skeptical, you start to form the opinion that he might be a "nice" person and above board, and in addition to that, you think that you might take the next step to meet him in person, make him pass a test before you proceed.
Create your own test, whatever that may be. If he passes it, fine. If not, too bad, but at least you know that you are dealing with a two-faced horse's rear end. As to "the test," that one, I'm sure, you can figure out on your own. :) | |
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| Suggestions to avoid players/con artists
Posted: 12/24/2005 4:46:51 AM | | Mardioluv4u, women rarely play games or run around with more than one guy at a time. It's the men who do that, and when caught, they like to play innocent, or worse of all stupidities, say something like: "this is my first time." Puhleez. At least be honest about wanting an open relationship, no commitments, no strings, and say so right from the beginning so as not to waste anyone's time. My two cents' worth......wait, not cents.......millions. My two millions' worth. | |
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| Suggestions to avoid players/con artists
Posted: 12/24/2005 5:13:02 AM | My 27 yr.old son does not cheat on his gal. He watched the drama of his dad doing this to me. I have two brothers. One never cheated on his wife. The other I'm not too sure. I draw conclusions from experience around me, self included. Read up on this subject for yourself. If he walks like a duck, and talks like a duck. Guess what, he is a duck. This is a cop talk. Your gut feeling is telling you to be aware of that person. As a child you saw two ways, what adults said and what adults did. You gathered your opions from the surrounding environment. Do the same now. Listen to your inner self. Stop pleasing other people. Protect and nurture yourself. To thine own self be true...    | |
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shvlhd
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Joined: 11/16/2005
Msg: 149 | |
| Suggestions to avoid players/con artists
Posted: 12/24/2005 5:46:23 AM | well i think this is all fine and good, but there are women out there who play the game just as well,when i meet someone on line, first of all i give them my cell phone number, never my home..if they have a cam thats cool too, i wanna make sure of who im talkin too,is really a woman..lol if we meet its in a crowded public place fer the first time,common sence people,if u get scammed, its because ur just too trusting or want everyone to like u, id suggest alonon meeting,the world is a place full of liars thieves an scammers , theres a real nut job on here says shes trapped in africa, her boyfriend took all her money and left.. did i send her money??..lol i think not but im sure some sucker fell fer it..............u just need to be on guard, .................bone | |
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| Suggestions to avoid players/con artists
Posted: 12/24/2005 6:05:29 AM | Blastkist and others out there...you are so very wise! I was married to a "charmer and con artist" for 33 1/2 years. He systamatically broke down my self confidence until I had complete self doubt and couldn't even trust my own instincts anymore. Since coming out of that terrible marriage, God has helped me grow back into the woman of confidence I once was. I have read many great books that have helped a lot as well. One is called, "The Verbally Abusive Relationship" by Patricia Evans. That book helped set me free as I began to read it at the end of my marriage and it gave me the courage to begin to stand up to this bully. This book says it is all about control. Sure is! These type of men control and manupulate you because they are out of control themselves and have low self-esteem...but try to put you down so they feel bigger. But you cannot rescue them! I tried to fix it and be the best wife for many years. These type of men never get it...and they don't care to get it.
And, they never think they have a problem...it is always you that has the problem! They make you feel crazy. Another thing I realized as you have also said, it is always all about them!!
At the end of this nightmare marriage, when I finally woke up to reality, I said to him, "now I get it, this has been all about you!!!! You made it all about you, and I made it all about you! You are a very selfish man and God will not bless you for what you have done to me." Trust me, this has come to pass. They are never really happy. How can you be when you are out there using and hurting other people? They have even deceived themselves. They are truly sociopaths! My therapist made that clear to me. They do a lot of damage and then we go for help to recover and they ride off into the sunset looking for other victums!
They are masters and can appear normal at some levels and can charm and fool us. I think the signs to look for are...listen to what YOU are feeling when connecting to them. That is the most important clue of all. Don't doubt your instincts. Do you feel rushed to give answers. Do you feel suspicious. Do things seem to be moving fast. Are your emotions bounced back and forth. Do you feel confused or in the dark about things. Do you feel unhappy!! Sad?? Unsure??? Anything that throws you off center is a good clue you are dealing with a misfit out there!! If you are a good person, trust that! You don't have to analyse anthing as I have finally learned. It it doesn't feel right, it probably isn't! If he sounds too good to be true...probably he is full of it!! And full of himself!!
After awhile you can easily spot them. If they are closed and won't open up and share about their lives and who they are...that is a BIG CLUE!! If they can't get real about feelings...another BIG CLUE!! Taking your time is the best way to go. Over time people drop little clues of who they are. God always puts little red flags in front of us. When I walked into the church to marry my ex-husband many years ago...and spotted him across the church...my body turned and spun back towards the door. I felt fear! Here I was suppose to be happy and excited to get married...but something inside me knew!! When I dated him, there were red flags all over the place. he drank too much, he had a bad temper...always fighting with people in traffic. And he loved to talk about other women. He was also a womanizer. But I did not understand then that our spirits sometimes know first what our minds have not quite figured out yet. Listen to your God given spirit. If something doesn't feel right, it usually isn't. And if these people drop us and depart out of our lives because we are confronting them and catching on. Thank God!! You should be thankful because God may be sparing you from a miserable time and life!!
One last thought. The Bible says, "from the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaketh". This is soooo true!! After you get to know someone for awhile...they will spill our of their mouth from their heart. You will see what they share and talk about the most and it is so revealing. All you have to do is listen and you will soon know who they are. And also listen if they don't talk and open up!! That says volumes as well. :)
You all stay safe and stay sweet. God always sees our hearts and to do the right things while we are on this earth and treat others well says volumes about who we are. Don't worry about those that treat us bad. Let them go! God will send you someone better!! : ) | |
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