| Prospective date asks to spank your child, how would u react?
Posted: 11/11/2006 9:12:39 PM | | OP, I would do the same as you......except I would have not waited to email him...would have told him then and there. What kind of guy asks that? Makes you wonder. I would hope a single dad would react to a GF asking that. the same way. | |
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| Prospective date asks to spank your child, how would u react?
Posted: 11/12/2006 1:26:37 AM | He'd be on his bike ASAP! You did the right thing. Ive made a decision not to be bothered with men that dont have kids, they really wouldnt have a clue what its like to raise little people on your own. I know that my boys will always come first in my life and I would expect that of a man in the reversed situation.
Good luck in the future, sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders anyway or you wouldnt even be asking that. Trust your instincts I always say. | |
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| Prospective date asks to spank your child, how would u react?
Posted: 11/15/2006 11:42:16 AM | Oooooooohhhh.....if someone wants to get all 280 pounds of ferocity and Martial Arts training immediately in their face, all they have to do is even ACT like they are going
to engage in an act of violence in my presence...I am a widowed Father of 2 beautiful
and intelligent Sons. We have gone thru an indescribable amount of pain and loss and
the one of the things that I'm proud of most is that my Jodi was happy...she was with
a man that wouldn't hit her anymore...that Loved her with all his heart and soul...a man
that viewed her as the Lovely, radiant, caring, feminine Soul with she was and always
will be in my memories...she was NOT my Sons biological Mother, but she was better than they were because of the beauty, reverence, poise and femininity that she possessed. Those qualities alone inspired my Sons to Love her, to do things for her, to help her and to confide and trust in her. To think that a man could have ever hit her or harm her in anyway infuriates me...to this day, to the point of inflicting a wrath that would have them eating from a nose tube for a couple of weeks and depending on the severity of their brutality eating from that same nose tube maybe for the remainder of their pathetic lives.
You did the right thing...isn't it sick that we live in a society whose laws provide for "free speech" to the extent that people can threaten violence or even murder without any
repercussions? And that they can say it about children and suffer no consequences? It
just isn't right by my book of values and standards.
Just stay by our children as much as we can, strengthen their minds in the ways of truth, dignity, kharma, the golden rule, the spiritual laws, compassion and awareness and then all we can do is hope...hope that there will always be people good and fair hearted people like US...who will stand up for what is right and will come to the aid of a woman or child that is in danger...My Sensei once said to me, "I'm not worried about the world hating each other because that's old news and I'm not necessarily worried too much about wars...what I'm worried about in my heart and soul is that the world seems to be evolving into a state indifference about it all...and that's what scares me."
We can't allow ourselves to be so absorbed with our lives that we lose track with what is the main threads are of our democratic freedom and individuality in this great country...And it's MOST essential element is INDIVIDUAL Freedom...the right to live free from dogma, doctrine, oppression, enslavement, captivity or enforced tranquility...all of which are KILLERS of the human spirit.
____________________________________________
I want to fly like an eagle...to the Sea
I want to fly like an eagle let my spirit carry me
Feed the children...put shoes on their feet
Love the babies...give them something to eat
Ooh Ooh Ooh there's a solution...
____________________________________________
My Grandmother was a very wise woman and she told me a story one time about how she too had experienced unGodly violence and loss in her lifetime...She told me of a
night when she was only 3 years old when a group of White people, whoever they were
invaded her tribe in the middle of the night...Her Mother and some of the other women and children were told by the men to run thru a small thicket of bushes and slowly get into the river and hide under the banks until someone came to get them...but no one
ever came to get them...instead after about an hour of waiting in the freezing cold waters and listening to their Sons, Daughters, Husbands and livestock being beaten to death, shot, burned, butchered, mutilated and scalped and their bodies dragged around behind horses while these heartless **stards cheered, growled and grunted...was a Mothers nightmare and would be enough hatred to last her a hundred lifetimes...and when there wasn't anymore sound they crawled form the water to see what she said was the most horrible site she would ever behold...that the carnage and the smells would haunt her for the rest of her 80 year life. And she finished with this:
* "Don't ever be guilty of striking a child or anyone for that matter save of course in
* battle or to defend ones' life...because every person small and large, young and old
* will be beaten and battered by the experiences in this life for it is an unwritten rule
* that we must experience pain and sorrow to know true elation and happiness...do not
* harm a child for behind the eyes of a child there will always lay the possibility to
* achieve great things and to bring into this world the only genuine true and
* unconditional Love that everyone longs for...woe to those who break the skin and so
* the spirit of a child for their eternal poison will be the sting of undying regret for
* having done such a heinous sin unto the meek or the young...which makes the Great
* Spirit weep and bring floods and destruction upon us."
Love & Respect to ALL who reads this...and Blessed Be. Good Bye for now, Jeffrey | |
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| Prospective date asks to spank your child, how would u react?
Posted: 11/15/2006 1:21:40 PM | dolphin8755 u sooooo did the right thing u deserve sum 1 who is gonna treat u and your children right n not like dogs n your son has the right to ask his mummy anything any time he wants , he is only 2 bless him.im shocked, im a single parent with a deaf child and at times she gets frustrated n a bit violent with people but i wouldnt let any 1 smack her just coz she doesnt understand something. she looses her temper in shops n ive heard people say she needs a good slap n my m8 has to hold me back. my little girl is my life so beware any 1 who even looks at her the wrong way . CHILDREN R GIFTS WE NEED TO TREASURE | |
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| Prospective date asks to spank your child, how would u react?
Posted: 11/15/2006 4:28:14 PM | Way to go Deb!
Personally, my ending result would have been the same, except I would have responded right then and there and let's just say lots of "f" words and colorful language would have been used…:D It would have been more along the lines of "the day you ever lay a hand on my child, well"....you all have thought about it so, I don't really need to go there...
Whatever makes people, even if they are stepparents think that they have the right to discipline children that aren't theirs? If I were to ever consider having a man meet my son, let alone be around him on a regular basis, well I would make sure he is clear as crystal of the following:
He is MY kid not yours, therefore I am COMPLETELY in charge and responsible for him. His discipline or the manner in which I discipline him is not something on which you will be consulted or considered for. HIS FATHER and I are entirely on charge of this department. Yes, he has a father, so there is no need for you to be 'pressured' playing such role, because again, he's got a father and a great one at that! Now, if this is not something you can deal with, than you should go right now and not only will I understand, I will respect you that much more for saying so.
Deb,
I know that you are 100% sure that you have made one of the best choices in your life, if you aren't, you should be.
I just hope that I can always remember that when I became a parent, I gave up the right to be selfish. Nobody else in my life is more important than my kid, not even myself; it is the most important job that I will ever have, and will never get credit for. It is not only my responsibility it is my obligation to love, teach and protect that little one, because without being able to say so, he trusts me completely and depends entirely on me to realize this.
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| Prospective date asks to spank your child, how would u react?
Posted: 11/15/2006 5:17:35 PM | Ok, pretty easy answer...I do the spanking/discipline whatever of my children. When I'm around my children there are two people with that kind of authority...me and their mom. It's straightforward, I know I'm a great dad, been accused of being a hard ass even....But damn if anyone other than me or their grand parent give them a spanking. Now to further detail, my boys grandparents, funny enough, no longer believe in spanking. So no issues with that even. I think it is way out of line for a date, to ask to discipline someone else's children. I don't mind them explaining the rules or even doing the time out dealeo....but no physical discipline. Well Done Deb! | |
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| Prospective date asks to spank your child, how would u react?
Posted: 11/16/2006 4:11:42 AM | You did the right thing. I don't think I could have been that nice about it. When mine were young like that I would have told that man exactly what I thought about it, right then while I had him on the phone. Yes a lot more civil than I would have been!!!
I really hope he never ends up married to a woman with small children because if he would spank a child for asking a simple question, what would he do to them, if they really did something that deserved a spanking? | |
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| Prospective date asks to spank your child, how would u react?
Posted: 11/16/2006 3:41:52 PM | | Wow...this one blew my mind. Can't believe someone was actually "fool" enough to ask such a question. OP you might want to shoot the jokester an email and thank him for exposing himself not only as an abusive man, but also as an idiot. Hat's off to ya....you're a great mom! | |
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| Prospective date asks to spank your child, how would u react?
Posted: 11/16/2006 4:35:09 PM | No one in thier right mind, parent or not, would say such a thing.
I tell everyone.... hurt one of my children and I will kill you. And no I'm not joking. I would have told him that on the phone and then hung up.... that's not a joke he's only trying to make it look that way. RUN. | |
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| Prospective date asks to spank your child, how would u react?
Posted: 11/16/2006 4:41:47 PM | murder death kill...plain and simple.
You hurt them...I hurt you right back. I told me fiance right from the start....one finger on them and you kiss pavement and glass cause ill throw you out the window.
You can speak to them and send them to thier room..tell them to get ready for bed..hug and kisses goodnight...but the hard discipline comes from me and me only.
He helps quite a bit..and its love all around for all of us..but I simple could not bear if he smacked/hit them. No matter how in love i am..its the ultimate no no. | |
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| Prospective date asks to spank your child, how would u react?
Posted: 11/16/2006 7:21:13 PM | | I've not read all the previous responses, but this I know... no one other than you has the right to disipline your child in the manner that you feel is best suited. Some men feel the need to exert their masculine worth on what they consider to be "lessers" (ie: children), in order to make them appear superior and worthy. Worthy of what? well... worthy of accepting a child in the relastionship, as long as that child abides by his rules. bullsh*t it what it is. The couple of times I have been with a woman who had a child/ren, I stepped way back and let momma do what she felt was necessary. Most circumstances are different as to when to be involved in punishment, but in my opinion, let the mother ( or father) make the initial decision, and the partner should only be offering support. not a lethal hand. | |
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| Prospective date asks to spank your child, how would u react?
Posted: 11/16/2006 7:45:29 PM | | Msg 116......At first was offended by the single parent aka overreact comment....assumed it was made by a man with no children that accidently ended up on this forum. But alas, I was wrong. Checked the profile. Two beautiful boys. All bad thoughts melted away when I read the profile. GEEZZZZ.....another expert on women. | |
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| Prospective date asks to spank your child, how would u react?
Posted: 11/17/2006 3:16:55 AM | | Hey Deb it seems to me that u made the right decision I have a hard time spanking my own child and he is 12. I have found better ways now to parent and I think that I would have lost it all over that man. Discipline is one thing but he needs to know that there are other ways of doing that to a child especially if they are only 2 and 10 months as u stated. Good luck in finding ur mate girl | |
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