| Why are older women scared about dating younger men?
Posted: 1/4/2009 6:40:05 PM | Who's scared? I was married to a man 11 years younger for 30 years. I found that anyone who has contacted me is only interested in sex no matter what they say on their profile, and I prefer not to be called sweetie and darling by someone I have never met. It just seems so insincere, or is that just me? What happened to you to make you think we are scared? Avriljane | |
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| Why are older women scared about dating younger men?
Posted: 1/4/2009 6:45:52 PM | | There's nothing scary about dating someone younger. Younger is OK but not more than 10 years. I'm only interested in men who are at a certain stage in their life. Most guys under 35 aren't where I would like them to be. | |
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| Why are older women scared about dating younger men?
Posted: 1/4/2009 10:54:41 PM |
Why are older women scared about dating younger men?
There's no future in it. That sums it up in a nutshell for me.
I want someone that I can go through all of the upcoming stages of life WITH. I don't want to be going through them all alone with a youngster by my side, wondering what he must be thinking about what I'm going through. It just won't work and it's awkward and strange.
I want someone who understands, who is on the same wavelength as me, who is at the same place in life that I am. | |
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| Why are older women scared about dating younger men?
Posted: 1/19/2009 7:24:49 AM | | I'm not scared I just don't want to date someone young enough to be my son. I also don't want to date someone old enough to be my dad. Also for me I take into consideration that I can't and won't have any more babies, some younger men haven't had kids and I wouldn't want to be involved with taking that decision out of someones hands. The same goes for older men that haven't had kids and may want to. | |
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| Why are older women scared about dating younger men?
Posted: 1/21/2009 9:33:44 AM | | It is wise to set limits I mean for heavens sake what would a 30 year old have in common with a 18 year old? but within reasonable limits maybe ok I would say it would have to depend on the maturity of both parties involved and what they feel comfortable with.. i have dated younger and been in LTR with them but like I said it is all based on their maturity level and if a LTR is invloved then they have to be willing to accept that I am older and not able to do some of the things I used to do IE... party till the break of dawn and get up and start over again ... it would kill me.. and on that note I will stop before I say too much and get myself into all kinds of trouble LOL | |
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| Why are older women scared about dating younger men?
Posted: 1/21/2009 10:06:18 AM | It may work out alright for some.
However, for myself, I'm not scared of dating younger men, I just won't do it nor do I see any attraction in dating those much younger than my own age! | |
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| Why are older women scared about dating younger men?
Posted: 1/21/2009 12:06:30 PM | Ladies! I was told by son that the only reason that his friend will even go out with an older women it's because they are more grateful than younger women, also they try harder. Sorry
No, gamso, that’s the reason women date fat men!
Back to the issue … This is a real hot button for me. Like many others I am intolerant of labels such as “Cougar” since this term is most often used in a derogatory and offensive manner. For the record, I do not seek out the attentions or company of “boy toys,” “stud muffins,” or “gigolos”
If a (much) younger man shows interest in me here on POF my first thoughts are that he has not noticed my age and /or that he believes me to be a cougar. I will send my polite decline note in reply with the age difference as a stated factor. Frankly, I have not noticed that this discourages most so I may need to reconsider this tactic in the future, if required. But I digress. If the fellow can carry a conversation for a few emails and then into messenger without asking me some overtly sexual question I may consider meeting him in person. Most, however, fail this part. Miserably. Then it’s Block/Delete time.
I don’t categorize the thoughts I have about dating a man with fewer years than I as fear, just a healthy hesitation – a questioning of their motives. I don’t much care what society thinks; rather, it’s important for me to determine if a compatibility that transcends the difference in years exists. Thought I had that once, and then “poof!” – gone in the middle of a conversation leaving me to wonder, and worry.
Frequently the long-term viability of the relationship just can’t be sustained for a multitude of reasons, not least of which is the desire of the man to have children. At this point in my life it is extremely unlikely that this is something I will even consider. Why would I put myself into a position of becoming a likely future dumpee? | |
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| Why are older women scared about dating younger men?
Posted: 1/21/2009 3:42:05 PM | I had a lot in common with a guy I was with for a long time. We just never got it together financially and eventually after 7 years went out own ways... he actually found a younger woman... outch.
So, I tried to date only older men until I could find the one who would sweep me off of my feet and marry, etc... but having a baby would be out of the question since older men didn't want that any more. I liked how older men knew how to treat a woman, wine and dine, ball room dance, had taste and class and was not immature.
After trying to fall in love with an older man, I just can't find love as I don't have much in common with them. I am not attracted to them physically either. I noticed photos of us weren't that flattering either... the memories opposed to me with a hot younger man.
I now miss younger men. But, I was so hurt by being dumped for a younger women, and hear how younger men talk about older women as being unattractive and yukkie, I am afraid of looking bad. That's it.
I miss the stuff I have in common with younger men like horror movies, fun, etc... | |
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| Why are older women scared about dating younger men?
Posted: 1/22/2009 9:27:40 AM | They're not.
My ex was 10 years older than me. We had a relationship for 11 years and age wasn't much of a factor. Okay maybe when we talked about what her life was like in 1977 when she was out partying and I was still in grade school!!! But that was funny more than anything.
It just has to be right for both parties thats all. | |
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| Why are older women scared about dating younger men?
Posted: 1/22/2009 9:41:12 AM | Because nobody wants to end up on datelines " To Catch a Predator" ...
*kidding* ...
I have dated younger men as well as older guys ...its boils down to the guy himself..
The difference is not in age but life experience, maturity and wisdom which does not always correlate with age..
There are younger guys who are very introspective sensible and grounded as well as older men who behave like frat boys... and vice versa...I don't label a guy based on his age.. We don't live in a cookie cutter world...
I don't think its that women are "scared" I think some prefer men their age, others may feel insecure being " the older woman" , others may perceive that the younger guy may be out to "sow wild oats".....
Everyone is different | |
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| Why are older women scared about dating younger men?
Posted: 1/22/2009 9:45:40 AM | Like many others I am intolerant of labels such as “Cougar” since this term is most often used in a derogatory and offensive manner.
The term "cougar" may not apply to you. But it is not necessary offensive or derogatory. It is frequency used to describe an attractive "older" woman or a woman who usually dates younger men. There is nothing wrong with these definitions.
I will date guys maybe 4 years younger then myself but I chose not to date anyone in their 20's or early 30's...call me a snob...some younger men have. The way I see it is that guys in their 20's are trying to find their way in life..they're entering college, finishing college, starting a (if not several)careers and thinking about starting a family. Similar to the guys in their early 30's. That is not where I am at in life nor what I want in a partner. We are two totally different developmental age levels and for me that makes a difference.
This is not true in all or most cases. By the time a man reaches his late 20s or early 30s, he could be stable, successful, financially independent etc. The only issue I may be agree with you is starting family. He may want kids and you can't/won't have any more kids.
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| Why are older women scared about dating younger men?
Posted: 1/22/2009 7:26:51 PM | | Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OK, OK, I have the answer!!!!! If they're legal age, then they're fair game if they do something to rivet my attention. Mind you, it would probably be in only the toy boy realm in my mind if they were more than 15 yrs younger. I have a hard time being too serious about someone half my age, but if he's sexy and charismatic, let the the fun begin, even if short-lived. I figure the thrill wears off anyone after a few years anyway, so what do I care how old they are?? The only age limits I set is if a guy looks older than me...it's kind of a turn off (ok, it's not attractive to me and you gotta feel an attraction to get the endorphins going). | |
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| Why are older women scared about dating younger men?
Posted: 1/29/2009 11:06:35 PM | I agree with spiderette,
(although I wouldn't go as young as 18, myself) But, I tend to feel and think I can't be with a man that looks older than me. That's how I gauge men on the 'older' spectrum. As for men younger...I LOVE them. While men in their 20's are sweet, hot, etc...I don't think I'd have that much in common with them...so I tend to stay away from guys that young...but men in their 30's, some are more mature, still look FANFRIGGINTASTIC and are a lot of fun to be around. It seems too, that the majority (I say majority) of men become lazier as they get older...
But, one thing is - I am definitely NOT scared of younger men, not at ALL!!! | |
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| Why are older women scared about dating younger men?
Posted: 1/30/2009 1:18:23 AM | I am not scared of younger men if anything I act much younger than my age, don't want to settle down just yet, don't want to get married, don't want kids, prefer men with hair and a a pert butt...okay getting carried away lol
I definitely date one of those  although personally dating younger than 26 is a bit too young. I want someone with some experience too. | |
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| Why are older women scared about dating younger men?
Posted: 1/30/2009 11:44:41 AM | Scared? That's funny. The OP can't get what he wants so anyone who turns him down is "scared." I guess it has nothing to do with maybe some women just are not INTERESTED in younger men. I am one of those. I have no interest in someone with whom there is ZERO chance for a future. Younger men want to be with older women for sex, end of story. Then when they "grow up" and decide they want babies, what do they do? Dump the "old lady" for someone their own age or younger.
I want someone I can have a future with, and there's no future for me with someone who could even think about wanting children someday. Cuz that ain't happening with me.
Not to mention the ICK factor. I have sons who aren't much younger than some of the guys who used to email me. Can we just say ICK? | |
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| Why are older women scared about dating younger men?
Posted: 3/28/2009 6:11:22 PM | I'll be honest...I am a bit intimidated to date younger men (10+ years). Mostly, because what would happen if I fell in love with him? Would there actually be a chance of a future together? I think most younger men who want to date older women....are after more of a sexual liason. Which could be great....but what if....
After, many years of casually dating or not dating at all due to rearing my boys, I think I would be heart broken if I dated a younger man and fell in love and then he realized the age difference was too much and dumped me. | |
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