| Is there a good reason not to date someone who is bipolar?
Posted: 11/10/2005 11:28:26 PM |     I won't. I had a bf who lied to me and said he was one day, then lied and said he wasn't. Then he stopped drinking for a year and half. then he got real edgy and went back to drinking which escalated into other stuff and wild behavior. Then he od. He was someone I loved. But, if I see a gy who has those traits, I will drop him like a hot potato. For my own emotional well being. Sorry.   | |
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BPMG
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Joined: 8/26/2005
Msg: 102 | |
| Is there a good reason not to date someone who is bipolar?
Posted: 11/11/2005 12:20:46 AM |
if I see a gy who has those traits, I will drop him like a hot potato. For my own emotional well being. Sorry I can't blame you. There are many people who have already had bad experiances with people who are bipolar.
For the single bipolar people, don't give up hope. As you have seen, there are plenty of people who are willing to try.
Chuck | |
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BPMG
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Joined: 8/26/2005
Msg: 103 | |
| Is there a good reason not to date someone who is bipolar?
Posted: 11/15/2005 1:14:34 AM | At least some people are willing to admit their mistakes and take responsibility for their actions.
I know a person who thinks if he does not admit to even having depression then it doesn't exist. I have known him all of my life.
Chuck | |
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| Is there a good reason not to date someone who is bipolar?
Posted: 11/15/2005 4:21:47 AM | | chuck the ones that dont admit they have a problem are the ones that more than likely in time will be the ones that do something stupid like my son for example he is also bipolar and he recently took all of his bipolar and adhd meds and threw them out so to speak more like he flushed them because he is 18 and thinks he knows all and thinks he doesnt need them. so i told him when he ends up in prison for being careless then i will come visit him but wil not bailhim out for his own stupidity. but as you can see he is nothign like me i do have a problem i am bipolar and i admit it and am not ashamed of it. i have done the proper research and have found that it is hereditary and it is not our fault we have it so if someone is not willing to admit that they have a probelm then its their own stupidity for not getin the help they need. so be patient one day they will do somethign stupid or they will some way some how end up either in prison or in the hospitalfrom trying to hurt themselves or someone else so eventually he will end up on medication for it. rather he stays on it afterwards is his own choice. | |
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BPMG
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Joined: 8/26/2005
Msg: 105 | |
| Is there a good reason not to date someone who is bipolar?
Posted: 11/15/2005 11:53:09 PM | I liek your point blue.
OT: I can think of plenty of reasons a person might now want to date a bipolar person. If I am ever single again, I will be looking for a bipolar woman for myself. They seem to be more fun.
CHuck | |
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| Is there a good reason not to date someone who is bipolar?
Posted: 11/16/2005 9:12:57 AM | ^^^ that is probably a good idea because people who do not have mental illness
are often not high drama types and the disease will upset the relationship. I have
known many people with all sorts of mental illness both professionally and personally.
On a personal level.... had a female neighbor who was bipolar and it was impossible
to have a friendship with her. Her life had so much drama.... most self created.... that
it would have drained me. She was married about 4 times, her last was an alcoholic...
and during her marriage she would often bring men home. She smoked pot with her son....
and enabled him to be a very irresponsible adult. He continued to live at home past the age
of 30. He went to prison twice and married during the time she was a neighbor. He had a
child during that time too. The mother, bipolar was trying to always get into his life and it prevented him from maturing and learning to be responsible for his mistakes.
Finally her 4th marriage broke up and she moved away.
I was glad to see her go because she would get bored and try to drum up drama
amoung the neighbors. I was told she remarried an ex, who is a druggie.
My point is.. that I would think it would be hard to try to have a deeply commited and
satifing mature relationship with someone mentally ill. In patents I saw much the same
behaviors. No personal offense to anyone.... just making a point about the difficulty in creating a healthy relationship when mental illness is part of the mix. | |
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BPMG
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Joined: 8/26/2005
Msg: 107 | |
| Is there a good reason not to date someone who is bipolar?
Posted: 11/20/2005 2:47:27 PM |
No personal offense to anyone.... just making a point about the difficulty in creating a healthy relationship when mental illness is part of the mix. None taken Ma'am, if it is ok to say that is a very good point. I have known people very similar to the types mentioned in the previous post. I also forgot anyone actually like to create drama, but some do.
Chuck | |
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BPMG
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Joined: 8/26/2005
Msg: 108 | |
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| Is there a good reason not to date someone who is bipolar?
Posted: 11/22/2005 4:52:42 AM | | true chuck we can be more fun but at the same time we can be more difficult to deal with when it comes to the moods. but yes when we are on our highs so to speak we are more fun but also as normal as the next person htat does not have bipolar. | |
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BPMG
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Joined: 8/26/2005
Msg: 110 | |
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| Is there a good reason not to date someone who is bipolar?
Posted: 12/6/2005 4:36:05 AM | hell yeah chuck it does hurt we both know how it feels to be judged by our illness or disorders and yes it does hur people need to get educated about these things before judging us as well as getting to know us for who we are not for who they think we are. being judged by our cover is just wrong we should be given a chance like everyone else rather we have this illness/disorder or not.  | |
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| Is there a good reason not to date someone who is bipolar?
Posted: 12/8/2005 5:33:36 PM | | just bouncin' thru and hit upon this thread. well it seems that this bi-polar thing can be more than a pesky nuisance. it cost me two marriges but finally got treatment that helped me through some very trying times. i am dating again and have been very honest about this illness. she has a good grasp of the situation and knows that with the right medication , and ongoing counselling i am just as 'normal' as most anyone. mental illness has its stigmas, as it can not be seen or have a blood test that says 'this is the problem' . i consider myself a unique individual, my kids love me, i am responsible to myself , family and friends and if others see me in a different light well that is their loss. thanks for the opportunity to express myself here. maybe later, rob. | |
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| Is there a good reason not to date someone who is bipolar?
Posted: 12/10/2005 10:08:08 PM | | Rob, good to hear that you have sought treatment and it seems to be working for you. I am sure the two of you can work out almost anything with your positive attitude! Good luck and thanks for your input! | |
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| Is there a good reason not to date someone who is bipolar?
Posted: 12/10/2005 10:31:47 PM | 'Is there a good reason not to date someone who is bipolar?'
Well....
Yes and no. There can be good things and bad things about it. It can have it's ups and downs.
Should you stay or should you go. Any questions?
We are not doctors or therapists here. Leave that to the professionals unless
you are needing somebody to need you, in which case 'enter at your own risk' | |
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| Is there a good reason not to date someone who is bipolar?
Posted: 12/11/2005 6:01:38 AM | Hmm where to start.
I went out... very very briefly, with a bipolar man. We got along on so many levels, but there was a wall between us. Suddenly one day he just shut down and shut me out, then a month later wrote me and told me about his condition. We tried re connecting but he just stopped answering the phone and that was it.
Fast forward ten years. I work in mental health. (Not because of that guy)Sometimes I meet people my age, same interests, fun people, but they are patients who have bipolar spectrum disorder. The highs and lows cycle and the person I like and respect today is gone next week replaced by a self destructive person. Of course people in the hospital are sicker than ones in the community, but I have learned that you never know who you are meeting today when you get involved with a person with bipolar spectrum disorder.
Friends? Yes. Definitely, but of course not with my patients/ former patients. And I just wouldnt be able to be there for them if they cycled badly and were not compliant with their meds. Dating? Well, since I don't date people who aren't friends first, there is a possibility. On the other hand, a person with Bipolar Spectrum Disorder might not want to date me, since I couldnt help but notice any cycling or ask if he's taken his meds today.
Just my thoughts on the subject. | |
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| Is there a good reason not to date someone who is bipolar?
Posted: 12/11/2005 9:22:50 AM | | Who's that girl, I think that is exactly what a responsible bipolar guy would want you to do- notice and understand his cycling and help be supportive and ask if he has taken meds today. In that case you would be a great date for a bipolar guy! That is if you were to find one out there and decide to date them. | |
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| Is there a good reason not to date someone who is bipolar?
Posted: 12/11/2005 10:55:07 AM | well nala1 let me tel u a lil secret i have learned from being bipolar myself and from doing alot of research that there are more bipolar people int he world than one would really know and who knows your next one just might be bipolar too and u more than likely wont even know it unless he tells you. so dont be so quick to judge we are not all the same and we are good people jsut like anyone else. i suggest you do some research before posting again on this subject u will be very surprised what u learn.
so dotn judge until u understand i mean truley understand and until u know us. | |
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| Is there a good reason not to date someone who is bipolar?
Posted: 12/13/2005 9:29:37 PM | | Hey blue, didn't post to offend anyone. Was there something I said that really got you going? I probably know more bipolar people than you do- besides family I have many of them that are friends as well. And most (except for the ones that are totally irresponsible about taking their meds and hurt family) are as normal as anyone out there and no one would notice. What I was getting at in my last post is that a bi-polar man that is responsible will not mind if you are sensitive to his ups and downs. I was not judging anyone based on a disease- it is all about attitude and the positives win with me. Along with the original thread, there is no good reason not to date someone who is bi-polar, but there is a reason not to date someone with a bad attitude towards it or anything else! | |
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| Is there a good reason not to date someone who is bipolar?
Posted: 12/14/2005 5:54:37 PM | I was diagnosed with it over 16 years ago. I was confused by the diagnosis because they never mentioned that a person could have mania and depression at the same time. Now they call this mixed state.
Imagine being hypo-manic and hating yourself more than anything in the world. I suffered a lot of brain damage at my own hands. | |
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| Is there a good reason not to date someone who is bipolar?
Posted: 12/15/2005 4:38:36 AM | well nala1 first of all i am bipolar and i know first hand what its like to live with it on the good days and the bad. jsut because you knwo people with bipolar doesnt mean tht you truley understand it like i said do alot of research and go from there. as far as you knowing more bipolar people i work with them daily int he home i work in as well as having it myself and one of my kids as well so like i said dont judge unless u do the research. we are not all the same. and yes it was very offensive to me. ok one more thing the place where i work has 120 residents and i am gonna guess that aobut half maybe more have bipolar and i have seen and gone through the good days and the bad and oh when a person htat is dying with this illness it is not only hard to cope with but it is scary it takes anyplace form two to four people to tkae care of htem becuase they are that out of it. but the people that have it that are strong and otherwise healthy theya re more than likely jsut as sane as anyoen else with a chemical imbalance int he brain which by the way is heridatary. but hten agian if you did hte research to know the true affects bipolar has on people and how you find out you have it you would have known that. so trust me you dont know the true effects bipolar can have on a person or a family until you have lived it and fouond out everythign there is to find out about it. a little hint it can tear a family apart or it can mak e a family or friendship stronger.
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| Is there a good reason not to date someone who is bipolar?
Posted: 12/15/2005 4:51:21 AM | | DragonRider29, you've got it. There is a famous saying: Never sleep with a woman who has more problems than your own. Don't get me wrong, I have great sympathy for the mentally ill because I know they suffer greatly, but they also can make your life a living hell. | |
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| Is there a good reason not to date someone who is bipolar?
Posted: 12/15/2005 5:06:04 AM | | you know, im bipolar and i think that the only good reason is if the person becomes dangerous. my mood swings are never violent. never. im actually being treated for it as well. im on lithium, but even still. us bipolar people just need some one to comfort them more than usual people. | |
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| Is there a good reason not to date someone who is bipolar?
Posted: 12/15/2005 5:12:08 AM | | These damn threads only try to trap you into dating people who are bipolar! They don't want to hear an honest opinion, only a favorable opinion. Why even ask? There is no way in hell, that a bipolar person will agree with my reasons not to date someone who is bipolar. They will tell me to do research... Why, If I'm just not interested??? I date for fun, not to try and study the mentally ill. If I give an honest opinion and simply say I am not interested in dating someone who is bipolar... I am going to be labeled a villain, as if I'm not allowed to have a preference... This is just a manipulation! | |
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| Is there a good reason not to date someone who is bipolar?
Posted: 12/15/2005 5:38:36 AM | Blastkist,
I must commend you on your answer. I am a professional in a mental health organization, and your answer represents an excellent understanding of the cause and effect of bipolar disorder. If I were your professor in your Psych classes, I'd give you an A ! 
Mark | |
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