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| My therory on big guys(no not talking about his*****)
Posted: 7/8/2009 12:01:49 AM | Well.....and I am sure that I will get flamed for saying this.......but oh well, it needs to be said.....I think that you are way off base by saying that most guys have a gut by the age of 40. I think that at least of the people that I know, work with and am aquaitences with, only 30% of them are "big guys". I am one of them. I can tell you that coming from a bigger guy, although currently shrinking in size (thank god), due to getting real with myself, and having stopped listening to my friends and family that are being nice by telling me that "you look fine", or "you carry it well" , I am seeing a glimmer of the former me. I can see no benefiets from being overweight. Since I have gained weight, my health has declined, I do not feel as confident about myself, I am not attracting the type of woman that I find attractive, and simply do not live the quality of life that I want to. Now that does not mean the there are men or woman out there that are not happy with being overweight, and that is perfectly acceptable for them. But for those of us that are bigger/overweight men, and are wondering why there is not a following for plus size men, it is not acceptable, and we should quit ****en and get exercising.
1. I have never met a woman or man(at least one that I believe was telling the truth), that would choose an over weight guy or girl over an average to fit guy.
2. I think that one may settle for an overweight guy or girl for a huge variety of reasons.
3. IMO opinion, being overweight can cause issues, even if they are just health issues.
So there is my two cents.....flame away | |
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| My therory on big guys(no not talking about his*****)
Posted: 7/8/2009 9:47:51 AM | | The guys i have dated have run the gamut...from 5'4 and stocky(built) to 6'5 and fat...from my height and skinny to 6' and skinny....each of them had something special that I was drawn to... whether it be skinny, fat, athletic, a few extra lbs... i can truthfully say none of that matters to me...its that "something special" that draws me in. The only thing i can say i have personally found to be consistant is that the skinny guys were better lovers. (in my experience) | |
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| My therory on big guys(no not talking about his*****)
Posted: 7/8/2009 12:03:21 PM |
But for those of us that are bigger/overweight men, and are wondering why there is not a following for plus size men, it is not acceptable, and we should quit ****en and get exercising.
Not to be too picky, but there actually is a following for big men, unfortunately for many of us big guys, it isn't women doing the following. If you're still confused just google "bears" and "men." | |
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| My therory on big guys(no not talking about his*****)
Posted: 7/8/2009 7:37:23 PM | Well lol... look at it this way. Fit guys like bigger women most times because of the cushion and not having to worry about breaking her in half(ladys i know its a joke so relax ;). A big guy brings his own cushion to the relationship 
On a serious note. ANY guy can get in shape. I have lost 35 Lbs since November. You can absolutely lose the weight. If you don't mind being heavy then thats fine. But if you want to get in shape and stay in shape there is nothing stopping you but you being lazy.
And don't knock older guys. I'm sure they would out run you  | |
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| My therory on big guys(no not talking about his*****)
Posted: 7/8/2009 7:41:20 PM | As a bigger girl, I like my guy to have a little bit of meat on him. I've dated some really skinny guys, who were great guys, but I always was a bit concerned I might..break them :P
While I agree there has to be some kind of physically attraction, for me it can be a great smile or eyes coupled with a great personality. Looks will fade. The personality has to be the main point, for me anyhow. | |
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| My therory on big guys(no not talking about his*****)
Posted: 7/10/2009 11:01:21 PM | I prefer a fit women just because I like to stay in shape and enjoy being active. They don't have to do everything I do and vice versa but sometimes you'd want to do things together. The worst thing in the world for me would be to date a women who just loved staying at home.
A friend of mine has a gf who likes staying at home, watching tv, having game nights, going to the malls once in a while, but she rarely is into spontaneous active activities. She is a great person and my friend gets along with her just fine. They are similar. But I'd be miserable in that kind of relationship. So I'm sure it works both ways.
A person doesn't have to be entirely ripped to the max, but a person who is normally active probably isn't eating at fast food joints and isn't letting themselves 'go' so to speak. For a lot of people it's about similiar interests. Call it vain or whatever but if I want to go on a 10 mile hike and my date or significant other can't make it up to 2 miles, things are not going to work out. And it really wouldn't work out if they'd just want to make it 'rent a movie day/night' every weekend.
If I spend time eating healthy and staying in shape then I'd expect my significant other to show some interest in that lifestyle. If I hate fast food and they love it, how is that actually going to work out in the long run? | |
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| My therory on big guys(no not talking about his*****)
Posted: 7/11/2009 1:05:39 AM | | Well I a big guy but I don't see why woman have to pass us over Sometimes we are better then those other guys. But then again it what they feel is right can't be mad at them still it their lost right :D | |
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| My therory on big guys(no not talking about his*****)
Posted: 7/11/2009 1:06:09 AM | | I think something that is overlooked is the mental and emotional state of overweight men (and women). People who are overweight tend to be more prone to depression, often depression being one reason they are overweight. With depression often is the lack of self-confidence, and with that, makes dating a lot more difficult. It's a type of vicious circle. | |
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| My therory on big guys(no not talking about his*****)
Posted: 7/11/2009 6:35:55 AM | | oregonsaint, on your page you talk about not being able to eat a steak, etc. you can eat a steak. read more info on the saturated fat issue. saturated fat is not as bad as transfat, and all the fat around the meat is not all saturated either. you should trim the fat anyway. so you can eat some steak. i wouldn't eat it everyday but you can eat it sometimes. it's protein and iron and maybe some other nutrients. if "bbq" meant bbp pork, then no there are other reasons to not eat pork, despite what the "other white meat" commercials say. pigs eat lots of waste things in the wild and are usually fed corn or something like that, which we need less of. and pork meat has alot of fat marbled into it that you can't really see. but you can still eat pork sometimes too. i eat alot of grilled chicken, sometimes salmon and sometimes steak and burgers. i've cut back on the pork in all its forms. bacon is delicious but the nitrates become nitrites in your body, or vice versa, and loaded with unnecessary sodium. but even bacon, i do eat it occasionally. and while making these changes, my health stats did improve. you can get more info on what's really in food and related effects in diet forums and natural health sites, not just the commercials on tv. | |
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| My therory on big guys(no not talking about his*****)
Posted: 7/11/2009 12:49:09 PM | I agree with mbm.
I am most often attracted to bigger guys - guys at least my size. It makes me feel more sexy being with a guy who is bigger than me (back to that primordial theory, I think).
When checking out profiles here on POF, I find that the majority of guys mention "fit" in their list of desires. I agree that "fit" is a subjective term, but I think the main usage on dating sites is as a politically correct way to say thin... maybe I am wrong.
I don't like all the classifications anyway, depending on who you ask I am "average," "bbw," "thick," "fat," "curvy," who knows. It all depends on who is doing the looking. Whatever.
I just go by pictures and descriptions. If I think you are attractive, funny, confident and interesting, I will send you a greeting and hope for the best. What else is a person to do?
Good luck all! | |
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| My therory on big guys(no not talking about his*****)
Posted: 7/15/2009 8:44:42 PM | | All fit guys will not have a gut by 40 I am 40 and am nowhere near to having a gut,I still sit at about 6% bodyfat without even trying so shove your theory up your ass because most women like men with a bit of a gut or a spare tire but I will not grow one to please some worthless whore. | |
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| My therory on big guys(no not talking about his*****)
Posted: 7/15/2009 9:49:21 PM | Wow - who peed in your protein shake?
You can argue about looks (either way, male or female) up, down, left and right and until the cows come home but the bottom line is this, at least to me. Unless you have all of it put together - looks, personality, chemistry, preferences, etc., you're not going to have something that lasts long term. I've been with a lot of different folks and the kind of relationship I have/had with them was always determined by far more than her looks alone...and I would like to think my looks alone also. | |
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| My therory on big guys(no not talking about his*****)
Posted: 7/15/2009 11:03:34 PM | Okay, first off, the following of men who like big women is very small. If you don't believe me then ask a big woman why she can't get a date. Especially since big women for some stupid reason seem to think that they deserve a thin or fit man. Duh!
Secondly big men, or women for that matter, obviously don't do what it takes to take care of theirselves. If they can't take care of theirself then how are they going to help take care of you, your children, the house, car or anything else?
Thirdly, a big man, I'm sure, is lousey in bed just like big women are. Most can only do one or two positions. And if you let a big woman get on top of you in bed, then your next stop could be the hospital or the morgue.
Fourthly, a lot of people, not all, but a lot, both men and women, gain weight as they get older. The human body's metabolism slows down every seven or so years. If they continue to eat what they did in the past and many do, then it ends up as added weight. So, go ahead and get with a big guy so you'll be used to it. However, when that big guy slowly turns into an even bigger guy, you're still going to be asking yourself, "What happened to the man I married." Duh!
Also, I don't want any big women bashing emails or comments. I've dated and had sex many, many times with big women, including those who were 300 to 350 lbs. So don't b---h me out for my comments. I can make those claims because I've been there and I know what it's like!!!
Ed | |
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| My therory on big guys(no not talking about his*****)
Posted: 7/15/2009 11:50:31 PM | My ex wife was a larger woman (240 when we married, the final time she confronted me she admitted to weighing 413...you read that right), so I can agree with you - from the experiential standpoint - that our "bedroom" options were limited and that she struggled with helping out around the home. Yet her problem was not simply stemming from "not taking care of herself" as you've asserted...some of her issues were medical and she was on 15 prescriptions a month for various ailments. Many of the medications that she was on at that time contributed heavily to her weight gain and her inabilities in other arenas.
So be careful in asserting all "big" people are solely responsible for their problems by not doing what it takes to care for themselves. They may be doing all they can and yet still cannot avoid serious weight issues. Was my ex responsible for some of hers? Oh hell yeah - who in their right mind takes the kinds of meds she was taking with 2 ho-ho's and a 24 ounce Coca-Cola chaser then lay in bed all day unable to function? I needed to buy stock in those things (10 cases of soda a week - no lie...and GONE in a week...) and I'd be a rich man right now. But the medications alone were driving her weight up if all she'd have eaten was bread and water for every meal.
You might ask "oh, so you're one of those 'followers' of big women?" and I will answer "no, I am one who finds the best in all people and if it leads me to a loving relationship with someone that might be a tad 'heavy', then so be it." | |
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| My therory on big guys(no not talking about his*****)
Posted: 7/16/2009 2:15:42 AM | ok lets objectively quantify this and put it the subject to rest.....
you see 4 profiles... they are both 100 % accurate.... pictures reflect said accuracy... you get to pick the face to put on the pictures but the body remains the same... the text on the profiles say the exact same... everything YOU are looking for
for women:
guy #1 is of your age and height preference, has a six pack, no extra lbs
guy #2 is of your age and height preference, has a beer gut, maybe 20-40 lbs of fat
guy #3 is of your age and height preference, has several rolls, 40-80 lbs of fat
guy #4 is of your age and height preference, grossly obese, 80-600 lbs of fat
for men:
gal# 1 same as the guys, no fat, good definition/tone, muscular if that's what you like
gal#2 a little belly and some fat, 10-25 lbs of fat
gal #3 several rolls, round body and face, 25-80 extra lbs
gal #4 grossly obese, 60-600 extra lbs
now if you are wondering why the lbs are different, its because we have more muscle and thus our extra weight is less apparent... sorry but that's just the way it is....
now lets take a vote... with this criteria what would everyone vote... 2 choices !!
i'd take #1 and #2 in that order.... | |
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| My therory on big guys(no not talking about his*****)
Posted: 7/16/2009 7:52:58 AM | | Where I live in Coquitlam woman like a fatter man with good bit of belly because I tell you my gym is full of hot chicks with fat boyfriends or husbands, and it's all you see in the malls around here because we have a great deal of eastern europeans and the women are stellar ,beautiful and slim and the husbands are typically fat disgusting unshaven,no fashion sense dirty looking slobs that cant even comb there hair. My theory is that the women get clitoral stimulation from that giant gut sliding and rubbing on her clitoris when he is on top of her. | |
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| My therory on big guys(no not talking about his*****)
Posted: 7/17/2009 7:49:56 AM | When I don't like what I see in the mirror, I can't expect her to either. I work out very hard to sculpt my body into what I think looks good. And it's not just about looks--it's about feeling good too--strength, energy and stamina. I like my arms, shoulders, legs and ass. They've got a lot of muscle definition. Hell, I'D fvck me-!
If you're not a stick-thin model type, OP, then you should look for a woman who is not either. That's the bottom line. Can't expect to attract a stick-thin supermodel if you're a juggernaut of a whale. BE what you seek. Perhaps you ARE into BBWs. If so, that's cool. | |
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| My therory on big guys(no not talking about his*****)
Posted: 7/17/2009 8:09:15 AM | | i certainly wouldn't fvck anybody based on his muscle definition. fine if a guy has it, doesn't impress me, but there's a big healthy range between all muscles defined and morbidly obese. | |
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| My therory on big guys(no not talking about his*****)
Posted: 8/27/2009 7:24:56 AM | This is my first post so I hope I do this correctly. I am a very athletic person; eat well and run in total 40km a week. In the past, I have always dated people based on anything but appearance. Usually that means that I date a lot of awkward nerds since I prefer to be stimulated mentally.... and find this is the reason I want to jump into bed with someone.
Based on this, I found myself in a dating situation with a very nice man that was quite heavy, over 100 pounds overweight. During our first sexual encounter, I was uncomfortable with his lack of energy, amount of sweat, 'heart attack' breathing, premature ejaculation, inability to get a full erection, lack of good sexual positions and hhhhmm size (I suspect that the fat around his groin covered a large part of his penis). I was left rather unsatisfied, but thought I would try to make things work. Minus the excitement of the moment, first times can be overwhelming. And that was a mistake, I left that relationship because the sex was awful. Never never never again!
My candid conversations with my female friends that have very heavy partners is the same, the sex is non existent or they use other forms of play.
I did not get a chance to read this entire thread, but I imagine that I am just repeating what others have posted. Maybe not.... | |
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| My therory on big guys(no not talking about his*****)
Posted: 8/29/2009 2:42:31 AM | | Personally I perfer big guys....Although my Ex weighed 280 at 6 foot..he has alot of muscle...So maybe it dosen't count...he never worked out....had a gut. I like a big guy...makes me feel smaller and more feminine | |
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| My therory on big guys(no not talking about his*****)
Posted: 8/29/2009 7:44:04 AM | | I love my big dude...inside and outside the bedroom. I don't think you can make generalizations. Every man and woman is different. Big doesn't have to mean bad, laboured, quick, unfulfilling sex. I've always dated the big football types (not all fat...not all muscle) and I wouldn't have it any other way. People should just follow their hearts...whatever makes you happy... | |
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