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chinua
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Joined: 9/30/2005
Msg: 51 | |
| My therory on big guys(no not talking about his*****)
Posted: 5/28/2006 9:23:38 PM | | sparticuss.............my mom and i look nothing alike.........also........not everybody who works out; has a mom who does also. I've heard that theory before; and its definately wrong.....unless; you meet someone is a clone of her mother. | |
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| My therory on big guys(no not talking about his*****)
Posted: 6/16/2006 8:30:50 PM | I, for one, LIKE bigger guys. Something about a man with love handles or a belly that gets me. I have been cultivating one on my husband, it hasnt been fantastically successful, but im working on it | |
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| My therory on big guys(no not talking about his*****)
Posted: 6/16/2006 10:29:35 PM | "I find it hard to figure out why most women in the world only like "Fit guys"" -- Steely M
Well, apart from my finding it hard to believe that you've spoken to most of the woman in the world, it seems that most of the women who prefer a "fit guy" are all about remaining true to that little speech - about not needing a man - that every woman seems to say to herself at some point after the marriage has ended, by seeking a trophy boy who will sexually replace the physical memory of her ex-husband, feed her ego and impress her girlfriends.
Of course, it's only a wrongfully superficial oversight when guys snub "big women", right? All men are pigs and perverts, says the woman, glancing at her fireman of the month calendar...
Finding a great looking guy will make it okay to want a man. These women want the fantasy of sexy romance, not necessarily the reality of lasting love, and probably have the scented candles and massage oils and edible body paint to prove it. Settling for anything less (ie: normal) is like going back to her old life. Big guys represent a possible bad choice that resembles a previous marital failure to a lot of women, it seems. Considering big guys represents caving in to an appearance of desperation. Of compromising a dream. And, having to defend herself to all of her judgemental single women friends. This also seems to apply to those trophy boy hunting women who obviously haven't looked in full length mirror since their wedding day long, long ago...
Being a big guy, I'm actually glad that many women seem to fit this theory, because it frees me up to enjoy my life as I choose, without feeling the need to take seriously any woman who's clearly incapable of expressing, accepting or feeling true love as a mature adult. They're damaged goods, and I can't be bothered to do more than be courteous to them from a healthy distance as the supposedly ugly duckling who is the swan in every other sense. Them only seeing my (weight) gain is their loss, not mine. | |
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| My therory on big guys(no not talking about his*****)
Posted: 6/17/2006 1:48:35 AM | | Well.. I gotta tell ya... in my 20's I was attracted to heavier men..and in my 40's. im STILL attracted to heavier men.... However.. I dont base my search solely on that.. Personality comes first and foremost..A man can be an adonis and still be an ASS.. if you cant make me laugh and feel like I"M the only one in the room... I dont care what ya look like. lol Sure eye candy is nice to see once in a while... But would I want to compete with it in the bathroom everyday??? HELL NO. lol. | |
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| My therory on big guys(no not talking about his*****)
Posted: 6/17/2006 9:55:23 PM | I've always prefered big guys, in fact I'm generally not attracted to skinny men. I like some meat on my man and a little beer gut is "OK" by me!! I love a man with broad shoulders, strong hands and solid forearms! I guess I'm not your average chic looking for that "pretty boy" look! My ex weighs over 300 lbs and so have some of the men I've dated! | |
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| My therory on big guys(no not talking about his*****)
Posted: 6/17/2006 11:44:33 PM | | What a sexist question. I've seen plenty of men on sites like this demand that the woman be attractive, of a certain height, a certain weight, have a certain color hair , AND have a maximum allowable number of children, as well as a maximum allowable number of other men she is dating! They even go as far as to list exact numbers! So, what was the question?? | |
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| My therory on big guys(no not talking about his*****)
Posted: 6/18/2006 5:24:47 AM | I personally prefer a taller bigger more muscular man. Big strong arms to hold me close. Skinny or "slim" men do absolutely NOTHING for me .. perhaps because my brothers are slim. FAT guys do nothing for me, however at least they can re-work things to their favor if they really want to, skinny guys are genetically that way. When a girl list that she is average...it usually means she is about 10 pounds over weight. When a guy puts average, he is about 40 pounds overweight...what's up with that???
I remember one time I was a guest at the Kentucky Derby, the owner of a particular winning horse had a huge party. I met the jockey and it ended up he and I were dancing, he wanted to kiss me and I let him, however it felt like I was kissing my little brother! EEEEEEWWWWW
So...short guys were OUT ...
Went to a party one time in Florida with some gal pals ... a famous rodeo rider was there .. New Years Eve. At midnight he came up to me and asked me if he could kiss me ... He was in shape, but we were close to the same size in jeans, at the time I was wearing a very small size ... too thin for me ... I think he was shocked that I refused his advances .... and I wondered how he had gotten so far in his career without breaking every bone in his body.
So thin guys were OUT ...
Went to a Miami Dolphins football game ... met a player at the after party. NOW WE"RE TALKING! Ever since I knew I prefer men who were beefy, muscular, tall, good looking with huge arms! Non steroidal, of course!
Now that I am older, I can say that I still prefer the jock type, but also understand that the "perfect" body rarely exist in my age group. As a mature woman, I know now that a woman's body tends to settle to a certain weight range at age 45, that just might be what she carries through the rest of her aging years. She tends to carry that in her hips and thighs. Men however, carry it in their bellies and waistlines in the form of "love handles". Also our metabolisms slow as we age and if we, as an aging group does not try to stay ahead of the game through diet and exercise, we end up with medical problems.
Here's a little interesting thing for you guys who drink more than you should ... (and I am sure I will hear some flack about this, as well as some macho stating .. you need a taste of me, baby...(usually this will be a young black male) lmao) ... guys who drink in excess of three days a week, drink more than 4 on any given night, or drink every day are in danger of losing their ability to fully function sexually in their older age. PLEASE NOTE that I said FULLY function ... just stating a fact ... full erectness will not be yours! Thank God for the man who invented levitra!
Just another reason I prefer the jock type ... body builders are healthy eaters and rarely drink!
On the other hand...age plays a factor in erectile dysfunction as well ... so does ones medical condition or medicine he is on to treat a condition...once again THANK YOU JESUS for the man who invented levitra!
Now to be fair, here's a bash for the women ... things that affect a women's libido: the big 2 players are NUMBER ONE: child birth NUBMBER TWO: menopause
With child birth, hormones are redistributed to produce food for the baby...so what used to be there for "big daddy" in the lower half of the body are temporarily redirected to the upper half for the baby. Also when women have children, and hubby isn't kicking in emotional and physical support, woman gets tired doing it all .. cooking cleaning, laundry, children, etc. Who feels sexy when they are "bushed"? Also a lot can happen with chldbirth to the vaginal wall, serious damage and stretching.
With menopause, our ovaries are not producing the hormones they used to and eventually shut down, stopping production of eggs and the child bearing years are over. Hormones play such an important part in a woman's body that they need to be replaced, even with replacement, a woman can be left with no libido or such dryness that sex can be very painful. Unfortunately we do not have anyone to thank for a pill to help us out ... yet ... I am sure one will come down the pike.
So there you go ... my personal preferences and a brief lesson in the aging libido.
It's all about preference and what works for you. And since most men in or around my age range are going through their own form of "menopause" rather than deal with those issues, their harley's (or as I call them, penis extentions), and red hot vette's, I prefer younger men! And they gotta be jock types! Oh, believe it or not ... NOT HUNG LIKE A HORSE Ha! Those guys can go to the ladies who have stretched out during child birth....just my personal preference, don't beat me up! | |
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| My therory on big guys(no not talking about his*****)
Posted: 6/18/2006 9:12:48 AM |
If you think about it all the fit guys will have a gut by the time they are 40 so why not date a guy with one now and get use to it ?
well if I had a gut at 27, imagine what I would have at 40..Women like fit guys because it looks more attractive and healthy. good health is what women look for when finding someone that will be a good father for her children. Its stupid logic, but sex and mating is never logical, its all pre-wired in the subconscious brain, as its too important to let the woman make a conscious decision when it comes to mating.
SirCharles | |
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| My therory on big guys(no not talking about his*****)
Posted: 6/18/2006 9:18:50 AM | You know, being a big guy myself I think about this alot. For some reason I have been lucky through life and always been blessed with very pretty women by my side. For some reason I've always had a fit pretty woman by my side when I find someone that I like. My x wife could have passed for a model. Our choice of ending our marriage was due to other issues such as trying to mix two familys together that didnt want to coperate. I can say for certain that it didnt have to do with how I look.
Online dating does though seem to be a bad place for a big guy to look. It sounds fun to try but the truth is everyone on here always seems to be looking for what they cant have. To me its always whats on the inside that counts. I dont judge anyone by size or shape. Maybe I have been just lucky and have found women that feel the same way but I find there are very few women that feel that way online. I have much better luck doing it the old fashion way. Meeting someone off the internet always seems to work better for me that someone I might find here. You have to remember it all starts with a picture on here. With that being said you might not ever get a chance. There are some good women out there that just wants to be treated the way they feel they deserve to be treated but there are so many ***holes on here that want to take that good woman tell her a bunch of lies and toy with her heart so they can get her in bed a few times and then move on to someone else. So big or not any good guys on here have to walk in the footsteps of so many ***holes before them it's a wonder to me anyone gets a chance to know someone on here. I'm sure some will agree and some wont, but thats just my thoughts. | |
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| My therory on big guys(no not talking about his*****)
Posted: 6/18/2006 11:59:35 AM | jimb77 - Thanxs 4 the clarification. I like big guyz. Bigger is better (Maybe it is the caveman/cavewomen thang referenced above. But, sloppy, blobby fat....no. It's an obvious compulsion/addiction issue. With all the other issues out there....that we can't see, why get involved with someone who is a glutton? Or an alcoholic? Or a drug addict? I think women do tend to be more realistic and 4-giving about (a few extra pounds). I think a man that knows he's sexy, is attractive. Wait....didn't that awful fat **stard on austin powers think he was sexy too? Scratch that. MOST men that know they're sexy r attractive. They don't need to be vulgar to prove they r desirable. A lot of eye contact and honesty....come up & see me some time, big boy!  That's Mae West u guyz - not me. A nice broad set of shoulders, muscles, strength (mentally & physically) that's what I'm talkin about.
 Angel | |
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| My therory on big guys(no not talking about his*****)
Posted: 6/18/2006 12:01:41 PM | I heard that - my mom & I are world lines and life spans apart in the looks, size, even personality department. (not that she's not wonderful & beautiful).....we're just totally unconnected in the physical realm. (and yes....she's my bio-mom) | |
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| My therory on big guys(no not talking about his*****)
Posted: 6/18/2006 6:08:04 PM | Men carrying extra weight can be attractive.
It's foolish to expect 40-year-olds (men or women) to have the bodies of super-fit 20-year-olds.
But some (not all) heavier people might not be active, and that would be a problem. | |
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chinua
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Joined: 9/30/2005
Msg: 64 | |
| My therory on big guys(no not talking about his*****)
Posted: 6/18/2006 7:17:54 PM | | stephen............bitterness is definately NOT attractive........why else would you judge someone so harshly? I like fit men.............because I am fit myself...and if someone isn't......we don't have enough in common..........and I mean fit..as in healthy; which is more than skin deep. | |
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| My therory on big guys(no not talking about his*****)
Posted: 6/18/2006 10:38:45 PM | How fat is "too" fat?
I'm not morbidly obese, but I have a double chin and a beer gut. I'm not exactly a couch potato, but I also don't spend all my time at the gym. Would I be considered the "blobby fat" that someone mentioned, I certainly feel like it some times.
I live in South Florida, if there was ever a place NOT to be chubby.. this would be it.  | |
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| My therory on big guys(no not talking about his*****)
Posted: 6/19/2006 9:47:18 AM |
Would I be considered the "blobby fat" that someone mentioned, I certainly feel like it some times.
From your photos, no, not at all. You're an attractive big guy.
You'd only need to think about losing weight for health, activity reasons, not attractiveness.
Lots of the men on this thread are in the very attractive category. But fit and healthy pays off for anybody as they get older. | |
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| My therory on big guys(no not talking about his*****)
Posted: 6/20/2006 7:03:27 PM | it all depends on the person. some people weight matters more than others. I've dated skinny, super body-builider, tall, plumb, short, fat. i dated them because i was attracted to them for whatever reason it was, sometimes for their smile, sometimes for their humour, sometimes for their intelligence, etc. either i'm attracted or i'm not, i don't overanalyse as to whether he's fit or fat, smart or dumb, etc. and i expect men are the same about me..either they find me attractive or they don't.
i think part of the problem is that often we are told who we are supposed to like based on what society perceives to be a good match. for instance, my friends were horrified at one point when i nuts over a huge body-builder sterotype guy and they were so upset because it was assumed that i was too smart for him. i didn't care about that, i was attracted to him...didn't matter that he wasn't my supposed ideal (nor I his, since I'm definately not the sterotype cheerleader type with my big butt LOL).
you can either sit and get steamed, frustrated, upset, anxious or sad thinking about all those who are interested or aren't attracted to you. me, i like to focus on those who are attracted to me, be it in the past, present or the future. much better way to occupy one's time. | |
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| My therory on big guys(no not talking about his*****)
Posted: 6/20/2006 7:13:55 PM | "stephen............bitterness is definately NOT attractive........why else would you judge someone so harshly?" -- chinua
Are you suggesting that bitterness is the only possible reason for harshly judging someone, or are you being defensive and attempting to scold me? In either case, you'd be wrong.
However, your next comment is more interesting: You like fit men because you're fit, and don't have enough in common with someone who isn't. Here's how I read that:
A) By saying this, you assume that big guys don't live a healthy lifestyle. You make a superficial judgement, unless you wear X-ray goggles to all of your first dates and have a good enough medical education to read the condition of internal organs by sight alone. I have a vague suspicion that latter scenario isn't the case. So, clearly, barring an uncanny ability to read peoples' auras, you judge by what is skin deep. Attepting to alter the context of what fit means by widening your own definition of it to include health is merely an unconvincing way to add a little wiggle room for yourself. Being fit doesn't automatically equal good health, just as being blonde doesn't automatically mean that something needs to be explained several times using simple words and finger puppets.
B) By saying that you don't have enough in common with someone who isn't fit, you suggest a personal belief that you have nothing much beyond your own physical appearance to offer a man. You are fit and he should be fit, too. Always and forever, I guess. Okay. And, then what? Isn't there anything else? A sense of compassion? A stimulating intellect? A capacity to love unconditionally? The fortitude to weather rough times? An ability to communicate openly? Should he have a job? Be kind to children and small animals? You haven't mentioned anything else. He just needs to be fit, or you won't have enough in common with each other. However, none of the mutually beneficial character traits that I've mentioned have anything at all to do with a person's body shape. It's kinda depressing, the more I think about what you've said.
No, I'm not bitter. Merely disappointed that so many women seem to have embraced the same superficial nonsense that men tend to be accused of, without realizing or acknowledging the ironic hypocrisy. Susan B. Anthony is most likely spinning like a lathe in her grave these days... | |
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| My therory on big guys(no not talking about his*****)
Posted: 6/20/2006 7:39:05 PM | Hey i am a big guy......maybe a little rounder than i could be, but i can tell you all that i am fitter than most, could out endurance vitually any and as a matter of fact a great provider......
I have been fortunate that the people around me don't judge me as fat or thin or anything other than the peron i am, sure i am a big guy.....my heart is as big as anyones, and feelings can be hurt in a big way also.
to judge someone(male or female) by size is no differnt than to judge them economic, social, ethnic or anyother means....to me the ughliest person of all is the one with an ugly personality that juges people by the things they cannot control, genetics....rather than by personality.... | |
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chinua
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Joined: 9/30/2005
Msg: 72 | |
| My therory on big guys(no not talking about his*****)
Posted: 6/20/2006 8:14:08 PM | stephen............ i don't check for bodyfat%........yes.......fitness is more than skin deep; ...........If a guy doesn't do something physical.......... .....even in his job....
..let me explain something.........I spent 15 years as a competitive roller speedskater....2 time national champion....national team 5 times.........including Pan Am Games.........1 year as a competitive rower; I have also been a national level rollerdancer(silver medalist); have played rollerhockey; ran 10k races, played beach volleyball......competed in 2 bodybuilding shows.........and 2 highland games in scottish heavy events.......now I compete in karate tournaments..and have just tested for my first blackbelt. Being fit is not just for looks...........I not also have muscles.....I have good cardio too..like the 6'6" boyfriend I had.......who wasn't even 200 lbs(he was a speedskater)........or the 6'2', 300lb ex-powerlifter
I'm not one of those people who looks for someone who is a certain height, religion,hair colour, or skin colour........I also don't care what he does for a living........well , almost ..and I don't care if he doesn't drive a fancy car.........and you call me superficial???
BTW........he also has to have a sense of humour........and other stuff...........but thats personal........:).....just because I ask for that One thing.......doesn't mean that thats everything that I look for........now look who's superficial....... | |
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| My therory on big guys(no not talking about his*****)
Posted: 6/20/2006 9:13:57 PM | Wow there is a following for larger women! Where they hiding?
Sign me up and send some lovin my way ..lol
For me I have never been a small lady . However I have been leaner but I did have a fair amount of muscle ( No I was not a muscle cramp waiting to happen..lol).
I have always found men who have abit more mass to them to be very atractive. I have dated very fit larger men as well as just over weight men. There seems to be a quality that lerks behind the eyes and is shown to that one person they are close with. A softer side that is in great contrast to the rest of them.
There are many exceptions to the rule that is why I don't have a set body type. Then again I being a lager lady and very strong at times don't tend to feel comfortable around very lean men.. I have fear I would break them..lol
At the end of the day it is pure luck that we run into the person that we click with. Just needing abit of lady luck to fall apon my shoulders soon ..lol
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| My therory on big guys(no not talking about his*****)
Posted: 6/20/2006 9:32:32 PM | | i'm a big woman i go for eyes. i used to go for the mr. perfects but then one day i decided to meet a guy i knew was a big boy and when i say big i mean it in every since of the word yet when i kissed him there was definetly a spark. it showed me that looks aren't everything that the attraction can be there even if the are not perfect of average or anything else | |
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chinua
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Joined: 9/30/2005
Msg: 75 | |
| My therory on big guys(no not talking about his*****)
Posted: 6/20/2006 10:23:09 PM | ether..........what is 'perfect'?? it sounds like you have realised what your 'perfect' is........instead of going for what other people think is perfect. meaning; what is perfect for you!
I'm not going to change what my idea of 'perfect' is............for anybody........and I don't expect anyone else to either. There is someone for everybody. | |
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