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 Smoofiter
Joined: 1/30/2005
Msg: 26
Touchy feely peoplePage 2 of 2    (1, 2)
I can't stand it! I think i'm a little sensitive to people that I don't know being close to me. It seriously pisses me off. it's pretty sad, but I've gotten better.
 UlaLume
Joined: 5/28/2005
Msg: 27
Touchy feely people
Posted: 10/21/2005 3:33:46 PM
I am very claustrophobic, so I don't like it, but usually it's just a matter of my neuroses and not that I'm offended by a close-talker or a touchy-feely person. I detest when strangers lay their paws on me, however, but beyond my own issues with feeling boxed in, i really don't mind when my s.o., friends or family get too close.

Men I've dated have tried to snuggle up to me in bed and laugh when I pry myself away within minutes. More recently, the man I'm seeing will chuckle and say something like, "Wow, you lasted a whole 3 minutes" at which point, I heave his arm or legs off of me and roll away. I am starting to think he now dangles his arm or leg over me both to be affectionate, but also to test how long I'll stay there and let him.
 Gotapulse
Joined: 3/21/2005
Msg: 28
Touchy feely people
Posted: 10/21/2005 5:15:04 PM
Touchy feely people aren't going to make my favorite list but I've found that since they never seem to get the hint (they don't see anything wrong with it I mean), for the most part I just try to tolerate it. Of course, if I don't know them and especially if they're male, it won't take too much for me to say it's a problem. I won't make a scene about it because I doubt they mean anything by it in particular but that's probably because I'm a man. If I were a woman, I would likely have a lot more of a problem with strange men constantly touching me, however inoccuously.

Mostly though, they don't mean anything by it so like I say, I try to tolerate it. If we spend any real amount of time together, they'll figure it out eventually.
 lorenskye
Joined: 5/24/2008
Msg: 29
Touchy feely people
Posted: 9/1/2010 8:22:40 PM
I get very uncomfortable with people I don't know just coming up and touching me or hugging me. I'm friendly, but please don't touch me until I'm open to your being. I can be touchy-feely, but only when it's mutual.
 Tiina
Joined: 6/23/2005
Msg: 30
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Touchy feely people
Posted: 3/11/2011 8:07:06 AM
Yes, I have been on two first meetings with touchy feely men and it put me off completely. I'm not a prude, but I don't like a man I don't know throwing his arm round me whenever he feels like it and coming right up into my face when he talks to me.
 *Cowboy*
Joined: 4/28/2006
Msg: 31
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Touchy feely people
Posted: 3/11/2011 10:38:10 AM
Well I am one of those "touchy feely people".

But I make that abundantly clear before a meet in my messages BEFORE agreeing to ever meet.. I would suggest you use the emails here if not your profile to provide that info upfront and see if it does not solve that problem. Communication here is the key. Your profile and emails here are meant to both attract people as well as screen out those that are not compatible. I am always surprised so many have troubles with this. If this is some big deal then talk about it BEFORE meeting to the person you are meeting versus complaining later to strangers on the internet is my advice.

cowboy
 karma1160
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 32
Touchy feely people
Posted: 3/11/2011 2:17:45 PM
I like to touch patients when I am in a medical setting, for comfort and reassurance, but it is more of a hand on the shoulder or sometimes a hand held, depending on the circumstances.

So I am used to touching people, I like to hug after a date and if someone is shy I usually offer.
I have had people be touchy to the point of it being kind of obnoxious though and I don't like this and I have no problem letting someone know.
I had one person lean me over and kiss me 15 minutes into a first date at a public place.
At first I didn't really know what to think, but then they asked if they could touch my ........... and I am thinking this only happens to me. Needless to say this was the last date, I mean at this point I practically needed a cop and it was 20 minutes into the date.

And he seemed like such a nice guy..............lol.
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 33
Touchy feely people
Posted: 3/11/2011 2:22:09 PM
example.

I went out on a first date/meet with a girl from here.

she was young...exotic, gorgeous and just amazing to look at...I couldn't believe my luck.

we sat next to each other in a booth and after a bit, she grabbed my hand and was touchy feely on me...carressing me, etc etc.

halfway thru the date she looked at me and signalled for a kiss...

best
lips
ever....

I went and played the lottery as we left.


example.

met another girl, few extra pounds when she'd advertised as athletic, etc we met, shared a drink and were sitting in my car deciding on whether to goto dinner or not....she's touching my hand, trying to and I pull away.



what's the difference between the two?

I was OK with the touchy feeling girl who was GORGEOUS and NOT ok with the one who was ughhh...not so good.
 shakeitupbaby2012
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 34
Touchy feely people
Posted: 3/11/2011 9:34:14 PM
I see this trait in two schools of thought:
you have touchy people who simply like the sense of touch and connection that it fosters;
you have the touchy ones who are checking it out to see what your response is to see how far they think they can get- pronto.
I'm all for touch- in graduated doses over time---but I had a first date who put his hand up my pant leg and tried to start stroking my calf lol.
 Kel1965
Joined: 2/25/2011
Msg: 35
Touchy feely people
Posted: 3/11/2011 11:39:52 PM
I am one too..and Im not sorry for it, have always been a person who shows affection to someone I like or love.



 Michaelann
Joined: 9/11/2004
Msg: 36
Touchy feely people
Posted: 3/12/2011 2:37:11 AM

Ever go out on a date with someone who cant stop touching you. Maybe it's someone you work with or rub shoulders within your daily routine. It's not usually something that happens to us guys, but, i'm sure the ladies in here have had some experiences with men that have to keep touching you. - nosoup4u

I am so shy, it rarely happens to me, thank goodness. But when I met my fiance, it happened quite naturally. But then again, because we live 600 miles apart, it took almost 2 months before we could meet in person. So we were already talking online about 2-4 hours daily & had already become extremely close.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Well I am one of those "touchy feely people".

But I make that abundantly clear before a meet in my messages BEFORE agreeing to ever meet.. I would suggest you use the emails here if not your profile to provide that info upfront and see if it does not solve that problem. Communication here is the key. Your profile and emails here are meant to both attract people as well as screen out those that are not compatible. I am always surprised so many have troubles with this. If this is some big deal then talk about it BEFORE meeting to the person you are meeting versus complaining later to strangers on the internet is my advice. - *Cowboy*

Yeah, talking about stuff & even mentioning things of importance in one's profile, would be a real time saver. Of course, not everybody bothers to read them!
 CharminC
Joined: 2/19/2011
Msg: 37
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Touchy feely people
Posted: 3/12/2011 12:44:33 PM
I am extremely touchy, feely!! Only with those closest to me.. meaning those within my "Bubble".
If you are not in my bubble, don't touch me.
 *Cowboy*
Joined: 4/28/2006
Msg: 38
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Touchy feely people
Posted: 3/12/2011 1:22:26 PM

Come get me and I will help you with a slick using Event Thread to grab attention.
Sorry but if they are not reading your messages why are you meeting them again? this is something to make CLEAR before meeting if it is important. I know it is to me. I make a point of actually DISCUSSING this in emails first as it would be an obvious deal killer for me and there is no reason to waste further time or money exploring the relationship.

many are just not into touchy feely guys and that is all good! I understand. And I am not into gals that are going to be severely distraught by walking holding hands or touching their shoulder as we enter a restaurant etc... I am not talking about putting a hand up your skirt.

This is pretty easy for me and I make it clear before hand in messages and do not proceed without a response. Even those with attention disorders have to answer or it is a no-go.

If you are going to be upset as you have imaginary lines drawn around "your space" I am just not the guy for you and best to figure this out early. I respect your decision! We are simply not a match and we both smile and move on.

I have tons of first meets and zero problems yet on POF doing this as I have. Must be working for me anyway.

Clear communication before meeting is the answer here.

Cowboy
 CharminC
Joined: 2/19/2011
Msg: 39
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Touchy feely people
Posted: 3/12/2011 2:57:59 PM
If you are going to be upset as you have imaginary lines drawn around "your space"

^^
After reading this, I suddenly have an urge to grab my son's chalk to draw lines and play " I dare you to cross my line"
 honeycognac
Joined: 11/22/2010
Msg: 40
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Touchy feely people
Posted: 3/12/2011 8:13:17 PM

And I am not into gals that are going to be severely distraught by walking holding hands or touching their shoulder as we enter a restaurant etc... I am not talking about putting a hand up your skirt.


I am put off by touchy-feely stuff on a meet-and-greet. If it goes really well, I'll give them a hug good-bye, but I think that a gentleman should wait for the woman to initiate.
Once I know someone and particularly if they become my SO, I'll give them all the PDA they can handle.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 41
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Touchy feely people
Posted: 3/13/2011 9:01:48 AM

If it goes really well, I'll give them a hug good-bye, but I think that a gentleman should wait for the woman to initiate


Ahhhh cripers. And here I was just coming around and jumping on the bus about the man doing ALL the initiating. Back to the drawing board again for me. (wish you girls would make up your minds)

In all seriousness, it's a progression for me. I know "hugs"are free, but hell,I don't give mine out to just anybody, and at anytime. I do it when I "feel" for another, and that just doesn't "happen" in a minute or two. Give me enough time, and I'll touch ever inch of your body, inside and out. But I do need the time first.


After reading this, I suddenly have an urge to grab my son's chalk to draw lines and play " I dare you to cross my line"


Be careful young lady,some of us men have been known to carry around erasers and our own supply of coloured chalk.
 niagara45
Joined: 8/15/2010
Msg: 42
Touchy feely people
Posted: 3/13/2011 10:13:49 AM
I'm not a big fan of touchy feely stuff in general. I only touch men that I feel attracted to. If I am on a first meet and I am not feeling it, it really bugs me if the guy touches me in any way.

Maybe it has to to with too much touching becoming meaningless. It takes away from the potential power of intimate touching. One time I was out with a man I had just met. I was very attracted to him, but we did not touch. We talked and flirted for hours. Every time one of us said we should get going, the momentum of the conversation kind of took over and we just kept staying. Finally, the place was closing and we had to leave...LOL. He asked if he could walk me to my car. I was starting to feel like maybe he wasn't going to try to kiss me, and that I was going to have to make the first move. At the same moment, we both reached for my jacket, and our hands were on the back of the chair. He suddenly grabbed my little finger with his little finger. Just our fingers were touching, but it was purely electric for some reason. We just stood there for a minute looking at each other like idiots, and then he took my hand in his and we walked out together. The heat of the touch was definitely an indicator of things to come, but it would not have been as purely erotic if he had been touching me all night.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 43
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Touchy feely people
Posted: 3/14/2011 7:43:46 AM
I'm very touchy feelie.
But only with people I like.
Someone holding my hand I like, feels nice.
Someone holding my hand I don't like, feels creepy.

Never had anyone I was attracted to insult me or
creep me out by hugging me or giving me a kiss.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 44
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Touchy feely people
Posted: 3/14/2011 6:38:42 PM

Men I've dated have tried to snuggle up to me in bed and laugh when I pry myself away within minutes. More recently, the man I'm seeing will chuckle and say something like, "Wow, you lasted a whole 3 minutes" at which point, I heave his arm or legs off of me and roll away. I am starting to think he now dangles his arm or leg over me both to be affectionate, but also to test how long I'll stay there and let him.

Wow, I could have written this. Scary.
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 45
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Touchy feely people
Posted: 3/15/2011 12:02:48 PM
Long, long time ago I was at a party, and there was this totally attractive fellow making my acquaintance. We were hitting on all cylinders, and it was VERY mutual. Some how the topic of king sized beds came up, and I allowed as how I was not a fan: I hate making appointments to touch my bed mate. He stated his belief that beds were for sleeping, not cuddling. And that was the end of the courtship: we were mutually turned off at the other's attitude, lol! But gosh, he was cute. . . .

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