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 Author Thread: How many dates before you allow someone to ...
 arri

Joined: 10/5/2005
Msg: 26
How many dates before you allow someone to ...
Posted: 10/25/2005 2:47:40 PM
^^^ Holding hands to me is more intimate than kissing or even having sex. I don't know how others see it.
 Summer333

Joined: 10/22/2005
Msg: 27
How many dates before you allow someone to ...
Posted: 10/25/2005 2:53:07 PM
What? Sex before marriage ?
 buzzingbee

Joined: 3/25/2005
Msg: 28
How many dates before you allow someone to ...
Posted: 10/25/2005 3:27:56 PM
There are no rules...no manual...no guidance...

Your heart and mind quite possibly could give you answer on this.


buzz
 dragracerguy

Joined: 7/12/2005
Msg: 29
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How many dates before you allow someone to ...
Posted: 10/25/2005 4:23:17 PM
I have had some dates where there was nothing and had some where the date wasnt finished and we were naked in the car on the way somewhere. It goes by your gut feeling. Always trust your gut feeling. There is no right or wrong answer. At least I dont think so.
 serendipitee

Joined: 9/5/2005
Msg: 30
How many dates before you allow someone to ...
Posted: 10/25/2005 4:35:43 PM
Uniquely,
I agree with most other posters, it all depends and ultimately you decide for you.
Disrespect and pressure (especially on the first date) = NOT usually effective panty droppers, not typically indicative of good LTR material either. I dare say, this one is NOT a "keeper".
Also, playing on a date's self doubt using age and/or distance is not particularly becoming. Unless you want more of the same throw this one back!
 Mojo_LA

Joined: 12/15/2004
Msg: 31
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How many dates before you allow someone to ...
Posted: 10/25/2005 6:30:13 PM
Kiss: 3.5 hours
French kiss: 6 hours
Touching (clothes on): 2 dates
Touching (clothes off): 3 dates
Oral: 3-4 dates (depends on how the touching goes)
Sex: 4.5 - 6 dates
Anal: 10 - 15.4 dates

These are the rules, please follow them
 serendipitee

Joined: 9/5/2005
Msg: 32
How many dates before you allow someone to ...
Posted: 10/25/2005 9:35:36 PM
mojo,
baa haa haa haa
Glad you straightened that out.

 arri

Joined: 10/5/2005
Msg: 33
How many dates before you allow someone to ...
Posted: 10/25/2005 9:39:40 PM
Hey mojo why 10 to 15.4 dates?? ... what is a .4 date ?
 Mojo_LA

Joined: 12/15/2004
Msg: 34
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How many dates before you allow someone to ...
Posted: 10/25/2005 10:11:35 PM
Four hours into the 15th date, obviously. That is the maximum legal limit you're supposed to wait for anal (that is California law, of course - every state has their own laws (other countries probably differ, too)).
 megali

Joined: 5/23/2005
Msg: 35
How many dates before you allow someone to ...
Posted: 10/25/2005 10:37:29 PM
I went out with a "really good" "honest guy" off here and I found the same thing NOT honest and really not that good either. Maybe it was the same guy!!
 CountrySugar

Joined: 7/15/2005
Msg: 36
How many dates before you allow someone to ...
Posted: 10/25/2005 10:43:45 PM
You're suppose to wait for a certian amount of dates to allow those things? *takin notes* hmm
 UniquelyMe

Joined: 8/3/2005
Msg: 37
How many dates before you allow someone to ...
Posted: 10/26/2005 12:53:33 AM
QUOTE FROM HIM....Some women reach for my hand and place them on top of one of their breasts. That is not uncommon. Isn't kissing and fondling what those 17 and over do on dates?

Ok there you go guys.....This was after we met and for the second meeting I requested no groping at all. We were doing great until he made a verbal complaint and thought my no touchy feely policy was "BULLSH!t.". The more I thought about it, the more I felt like there should not be a 3rd then....
(Such sexy eyes attached to a pushy yolk head. errrrrrrrr)
***Wish it had not have gotten ruined.


>>>It had been over 15 years for me anyway....I was too nervous.
I think those who are seperating/divorcing should go out on a date or two.
It's enough to send you running to a marriage counselor to try
one more time at least.


 serendipitee

Joined: 9/5/2005
Msg: 38
How many dates before you allow someone to ...
Posted: 10/26/2005 1:18:54 AM
uniquely,
Geez, you sure got a "prize" for the first try in 15 years.
Take your time, they don't all behave that way (most don't in fact).
Just a thought... next time don't give him a chance with a second date. Gawd he sounds awful!!!
 Amy Marie

Joined: 10/3/2005
Msg: 39
How many dates before you allow someone to ...
Posted: 10/29/2005 11:28:05 PM
Thank you Frycook! Your genius status is much appreciated. The social disasters of our world are founded in this "too much too soon" philosophy. Just a theory.
 Amy Marie

Joined: 10/3/2005
Msg: 40
How many dates before you allow someone to ...
Posted: 10/29/2005 11:29:29 PM
How's that working for you Mojo?
 Mojo_LA

Joined: 12/15/2004
Msg: 41
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How many dates before you allow someone to ...
Posted: 10/30/2005 1:18:01 AM
It's working out quite well, thank you.

I've done 5.8 of the things on that list 24.3 times.
 rainbow_fish

Joined: 8/2/2005
Msg: 42
How many dates before you allow someone to ...
Posted: 10/30/2005 1:37:19 AM
hahahahaha, this is getting funny now

lol
lol
lol
 Single Dad In Florida

Joined: 10/22/2005
Msg: 43
How many dates before you allow someone to ...
Posted: 10/30/2005 6:29:08 AM
Used to think with my little head,
Now think with my bigger head
Would rather know who Im f_ _k_ _G before I get the royal F_ _k back.
 Little Red32

Joined: 6/8/2006
Msg: 44
How many dates before you allow someone to ...
Posted: 9/8/2006 1:57:19 AM
Well your right about the gut feeling. Sometimes all it takes is a look between each other and suddenly you start ripping each others clothes off. I love dates like that.
 LastManStanding

Joined: 8/11/2006
Msg: 45
How many dates before you allow someone to ...
Posted: 9/8/2006 6:22:09 AM
I was going to get into a big thing about agendas, wants and needs, but it sounds to me like this is a simple case of lacking CHEMISTRY and to a lesser extent, self worth.

If this guy (or any guy) really caught your eye, sparked something in you, etc., I think you would be comfortable enough, then motivated to find a way to get your questions answered and your concerns out there before he's able to touch you up. You can interrupt and call a mini timeout to discuss what's on your mind, and let him know his wandering hands need to be fumbling with your unanswered questions instead of your bra strap!

If he doesn't like to answer questions, try to explain that it will take more "trips to travel" for you to figure things out so you may be comfortable. I suspect given that option, he will be more than willing to satisfy your "enquiring mind".

However, consider that when all your questions finally are satisfied and your are comfortable, you will once again be left to consider what CHEMISTRY you two have.

If it was lacking in the first place, you may have wasted a little time if things didn't work out. Most people think it's still worth the effort, finding a good friend is not easy. I suspect that more "seasoned daters" or those looking only for a soul mate would be more likely to cut their losses early as they see no value in the friendships they aren't looking for.

My way of thinking is that this is something you can establish in your profile, and not waste this time in the first place - sexually depraved individuals who go bump in the night will leave you alone. Just remember 30,000 people online doesn't mean a single one of them is compatible with you! If you are one in a million. Don't settle, go fish. Certainly, if you're better than 1 in 30,000, don't buy into popularity as a measure of your value either.

You are the woman, nothing can erect a man's libido, or DRAIN it, as effectively as the carefully placed and strategic questions you can ask him!

I would suggest that before you push a potential relationship away from you, why not make it for the reasons of too many unanswered questions, rather than the "lack of asking and settling your comfort level?"
 laurenred78

Joined: 8/26/2006
Msg: 46
How many dates before you allow someone to ...
Posted: 9/8/2006 8:03:52 AM
Do what feels comfortable for you, if you have a great attraction for one another i see no harm in a first date kiss, but you have to be honest with eachother. If i am attracted to a guy on the first date i wouldn't mind a nice kiss. It depends on the situation, i have been on dates where i've been attracted to the guy and some ended with kissing some without.But don't let anyone dictate how you want things to go.
 brandonsunshine1966

Joined: 5/11/2009
Msg: 47
How many dates before you allow someone to ...
Posted: 8/11/2009 8:49:39 PM
If the sparks are there, it's ok to kiss on the first date but that's it. Consider it foreplay for when you get to know eachother better then the sex will be great.
 WishfulThinker_3

Joined: 10/4/2008
Msg: 48
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How many dates before you allow someone to ...
Posted: 8/11/2009 9:32:03 PM
Should come naturally, these things shouldn't be bounded by timelines of when to express yourself physically. But then again, I let myself get lost in moments. Time stands still on that first kiss especially. Who wants to over think that and miss out on that experience? I can see more women objecting to this way of doing things simply because they're more used to it and gotta be a "little" desensitized by now to really give a crap about the first kiss happening on the first date or not lol. This is all speculation of course since everyone's still different.
 GeekedNow

Joined: 7/27/2009
Msg: 49
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How many dates before you allow someone to ...
Posted: 8/12/2009 8:58:12 AM
TO OP:

Just for the record there is a study out on the internets that says 1 out of 3 online women have sex on the first date. For the record I thought it was odd that they said 1 in 3 women but not 1 in 3 men. Kind of hard to do the math without looking at both.

Anyway, I found this number very surprising an I dont think it represents real life meetings.
 OnlyThis

Joined: 3/31/2009
Msg: 50
How many dates before you allow someone to ...
Posted: 8/12/2009 11:57:31 AM

I just had a date with a younger man, that thought that we should be doing the horizontal mambo at the end of the date....huh?

Yeah.. who would have thought the "younger man" was expecting sex...
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