| | why do nice guys finish last?Page 6 of 7 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7) |
forumphantom profoundly gets the bigger picture!
Actually that cut-and-pasted article really tries hard to fit guys into nice little labels and because of that, the bigger picture is lost not seen.
Nice and insecurity do not come together as a package. It is quite possible to stand up for one's self and still be a nice, decent person. Sadly this does cause dating troubles.
When a man is actually just a genuine decent person who helps others some women will see him as a target and then get frustrated when he won't be played. Meanwhile some other women see that same giving nature as weakness and insecurity and are thus turned off.
I'll take a risk here and bring up some personal experiences. When I help a male friend and work on his car it's because I am decent guy, a good friend. He buys a pizza and some beer in return. When I help an old woman with her car it's because I'm a good guy. When I see some guy in the neighborhood having trouble with his car and try to help it's just being neighborly. When I stopped to help some guy with a broken alternator belt and figure out a way to fix it with the few tools available in the parking lot for a beach on maui, I was just an unusual visitor who had the same good nature as the locals. When I help an attractive woman of dating age with her car I am a creepy insecure "nice" guy. (well except for this tom-boyish woman I once worked with. I taught her how to work on her car :) )
The attractive woman of datable age doesn't know that she's just being treated like other people when some guy is willing to help her out. So she'll either be very suspicious and way turned off or she'll try to push for as much as she can get depending on what kind of woman she is. Such is the power of labels. | |
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| why do nice guys finish last?
Posted: 2/14/2009 9:48:40 PM |
It seems that women do not appreciate a guy that treats her with respect.....why is that? Because usually the guy who claims he's treating a woman with respect, doesn't no the first thing about respect. | |
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| why do nice guys finish last?
Posted: 2/17/2009 1:14:55 PM | | To me nice guys do finish last, seems like no body even trust good men any more I have put my heart and all my feelings into my profile still no one cares about a nice guy, seems like the real problem is alot of women are so damaged that they are so scared of taking chances even when a guy seems so real they are a bit hesitant to even take it to the next level of long term relationship and even want to get to really know him,to us nice guys we do finish last,That is not fair to all of us who really try so hard to show our love and appreciation , and kindness, so what is wrong with women of today?? I put my heart on the line and my true feelings i get hurt. so does all the nice guys out here. | |
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| why do nice guys finish last?
Posted: 2/17/2009 2:34:10 PM | Nice guys finishing last is an illusion. Change your perspective. Think of it as finishing first. If you were rejected or dumped by someone, then there is someone better out there that deserves you. The fact that that person set you free makes you the winner, because you can do better.
Bad guys don't finish first either. Karma. What goes around comes around. Kind of like - the athletic jocks from high school that picked on me are mostly fatty baldies now, where as I didn't turn out as those expected. Funny how those who never exercised in high school took it up later in life.
Mike | |
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| why do nice guys finish last?
Posted: 3/1/2009 6:22:21 PM | Maybe women are just pigs and want to be treated like it. Don't think about it too much because it will keep you up at night. If humans live a million more years, that question will not still be answered.  | |
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| why do nice guys finish last?
Posted: 4/6/2009 7:19:44 PM | Finishing last is not always a bad thing. If you had to run through a pack of lions to cross the finish line would you rather be the first one to be eaten or the last one who just strolls on through because the lions are already full on the ones who just had to finish first.
Think about that one.
I guess what i'm trying to say are that women are like lions. ooops P/C Lionesses
Just Kidding Ladies | |
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| why do nice guys finish last?
Posted: 4/28/2009 9:09:40 AM | Nice _________(insert gender here) finish last.
Nice people do okay.
Overly nice people, those that go above and beyond the call get used.
If you happend to be fortunate enough to have a man/woman say your too nice, but not for them. Thank them, and learn from it. Unfortunately, you will still find yourself out there looking for the one that will accept you for whom you are(and use you).
We are all here for a purpose. To meet the ying to our yang, the macaroni to our cheese..........etc.
I am guilty of this as well. When I look at a profile on here, I read the title line, look at the picture, then check out the body of the profile, and what ever pictures the person has posted.
Here is what I see.(from a guys perspective)
Lady's get dressed. If you have above average breasts that is nice. Please to not make them a prominant part of your profile picture and then ask the guys not to acknowledge them. Guys are visual!
I would be tickled if I found profiles with 2 pictures on them. One clear head and shoulder shot, and one clear full body shot. Yes, dressed.
What that tells me, is that the woman posting the profile with the wonderful words and sayings, has some self confidence in herself. For the BBW women, I include you in this.
This would take care of a lot of misconceptions in wording on this site. If your BBW, it will show. If your Curvy, it will show. If your Average, guess what.....
That is my 2 cents.
Now I need to get on the other side of my camera somehow to get my full body shot done. | |
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| why do nice guys finish last?
Posted: 5/11/2009 4:29:07 PM | | I come up with a different answer each time I see this. Its cause a nice guy doesn't have the balls to go for what he wants :-) | |
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TS629
| | Joined: 12/7/2006
Msg: 135 | |
| AnAnswer to that Age Old Question
Posted: 5/11/2009 10:04:31 PM | The word "nice" implies something other than the best.. Instead of saying that is great, it is said, that is nice. There also is a connotation of being subservient. Relationships generally have dominate and subservient roles, although if the relationship develops with codependence, watch out, roles can be reversed at a snap, temporarily or permanently. Psychopath and sociopath type individuals can mimic more ordinary roles that they have encountered, seeking out 'nice' naive personalities and within the 'honeymoon peroid' can establish a high level of confidence, only to turn on their victim/partners.
'honeymoon peroid' can last up to 2 years, generally 6 to 12 months.
Confidence building can be achieved by indtroducing the 'partner' to other life styles and practices. 
Don't confuse love for lust.  | |
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| why do nice guys finish last?
Posted: 6/23/2009 7:50:18 PM | since I'm in a replying mood I'll reply here.
What a lot of guys consider nice is another word for spineless. Show you have a back bone and show you are actually a prize. If someone cant see you as a prize and instead sees you as non worthwhile you wont find anyone. You have to have a goodness to you, but you still have to show you are a man. | |
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| why do nice guys finish last?
Posted: 11/17/2009 9:04:13 PM | | I have no clue where your location is... but here in Chicago, I have yet to find a guy who can reciprocate back what I put into the relationship!! | |
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| why do nice guys finish last?
Posted: 11/17/2009 9:06:37 PM | | a PRIZE???? Not one person is a "prize" in any relationship!!! The expression Backbone sounds raw and BAD..... we want the GOOD NICE GUY... but yes, a little bad boy... but not an a$$ | |
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| why do nice guys finish last?
Posted: 11/18/2009 10:22:22 AM | that can mow the lawn, fix the plumbing, change a tire, build a room, and still prep special nights with candles and flower pedals on a bed with silk sheets....yet be the protector if any crazies are nearby, and have a solid reputable good paying job.
You know....thats all...nothing major..LOL | |
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| why do nice guys finish last?
Posted: 11/19/2009 1:44:32 AM | Lol this one is easy. It's what i call the too cool for women effect. See most women don't have a clue what they want. Especialy when their young their feelings are fickel. SoooOooo This is why nice guys finish last. When women meet men who aren't like everyone else they think they found someone "mysterious" and special. Thus making them more tempted to follow the guys that aren't as nice....When really these guys are just acting like duchebags cause they know women like it or.....they're just duchebags. Now nice guys generaly speaking will over compliment women, do everything they can do to make her happy, will talk about whatever they can to keep things in common.....Unfortunatly it's predictable. Do you catch my drift?
So to conclude why do nice guys finish last? because they're predictable and boring to most women if you can ****ing believe that?
I wish for once it was just like how it was in the movies. | |
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| why do nice guys finish last?
Posted: 11/19/2009 11:00:59 AM | i would love predictable and boring.. (boring to a point!)
woman don't like douchebags!! at least I DON'T!!!!
I love how you guys all have these assumptions that women want A$$HOLE guys.... I sometimes think it's the other way around. Because you guys always love the challenge! You're MEN! it's all about competition! | |
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| why do nice guys finish last?
Posted: 11/25/2009 7:02:25 PM |
I love how you guys all have these assumptions that women want A$$HOLE guys....
Well, it is a common trend that we see when we talk to our female friends. They will vent to us about how the guy they're dating/married to isn't treating them the way they want to be treated - yet when push comes to shove, the women won't leave the guy and keep forgiving all his actions and hope in vain that he will change because they "love" him. We don't get that behavior at all, and that's where the perception comes from.
I have a friend who posted on a social networking site about how her long-term boyfriend called her "stupid" one morning. A lot of her friends were calling for her to dump him. She hasn't. It's been a few months since then.
So men see this behavior and start to think that this is really what women want. I know it ISN'T what women *want* - but let me ask you this - is it what you're *used to* and somehow it's comforting?
Because you guys always love the challenge!
Yes we do, but not so much that it makes us wonder if the effort is worth the results!
You're MEN! it's all about competition!
Actually, the guys I know (including myself) don't want relationships to be about competition. We would rather keep competition to the sports field. ;) | |
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| why do nice guys finish last?
Posted: 1/11/2010 8:53:41 AM | Why do nice guys finish last?
Why did the chicken cross the road?
I may have been accused of being a nice guy too many times, but I am happy with myself, if you can't accept me for who I am, your loss. Why put on a false facade? If the lies are there from the beginning, where do you go from there? Is it true the whole world is a stage, and women just want a guy that can act the way they want him to? | |
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| why do nice guys finish last?
Posted: 10/22/2012 2:49:16 AM | | nice guys definetly finish last most of the time,i know i have seen rare cases myself not true,but women love a bad boy,and seem to keep going back even if cheated on or even beatin for that matter. just my 2 cents | |
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| why do nice guys finish last?
Posted: 11/6/2012 9:32:20 AM | | because they see them as weak/boring.chase bad boys=exciting dangerous. but bad boy=bad bf=bad husband | |
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| why do nice guys finish last?
Posted: 12/8/2012 3:52:29 AM | I don't think nice guys finish last, but rather, guys with no backbone, who misinterpret that for *being nice*, do.
It's about balance. Being nice when you need to be, and being an a-hole or putting someone in their place, when you have to. Women tend to appreciate the latter, from my experience.
If you're too nice, you'll be mistaken for a fool, or someone who's soft.
Too mean, well--you can throw many adjectives you can't type out on this website. | |
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| why do nice guys finish last?
Posted: 1/22/2013 10:06:10 AM | | Men being nice does not sexually turn on women. Women want perfect man. Kindness is not sexy. Women are stupid for sticking with mean men. But when nice guys come around them reject them. It is common sense. You want a nice guy pick one. You sleep in the bed you choose. | |
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| why do nice guys finish last?
Posted: 1/22/2013 8:35:46 PM | | "Nice guys" aren't nice at all. They are super creepy men who think being the minimal requirement for being a Human Being entitles them to sleep with whoever they want and cry about it when the poor woman they are fake pretending to be their friend doesn't drop her pants. | |
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| why do nice guys finish last?
Posted: 1/22/2013 8:42:56 PM | | I think it was the 1st owner of the Pittsburgh Steelers, Art Rooney, that coined, "don't take my kindness as a weakness!" I am an even keeled person, and the few that thought this was a weakness and tried to take advantage learned the hard way. Next! | |
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