| how do you trust guys you date around your child?
Posted: 10/26/2005 10:10:52 AM | I think most of you have made great points, esp. dragon and jef.
Dont trust anyone, plain and simple. Keep your adult life 100% separate from your kids. I agree there are often signs, but they can be easily missed. The price my child would pay bc of my need for romantic affiliation is NOT WORTH IT! | |
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| how do you trust guys you date around your child?
Posted: 10/26/2005 11:02:12 AM | | yeah well goosp that was 5 years ago but I did promise him I would be visiting him again. we'll see. maybe the fear of seeing me will keep him behaving himself. But if not I'll just have to follow up. | |
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| how do you trust guys you date around your child?
Posted: 10/26/2005 11:21:01 AM | | Good job jefcoat... You're right, it needs to be done more often, and luckily the mom had the sense to have you check.. I've seen too many cases of children/babies being killed by "boyfriends" who are left in charge while mom goes to work... Cause, of course, most of these boyfriends don't work either.... Hopefully you stopped another one.. I would never, ever leave my children with a BF... No way~~ | |
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| how do you trust guys you date around your child?
Posted: 10/26/2005 11:47:21 AM | | I rember asking my gf at the time if she would ever do that to me send some one to check up. she said she had done it. I have always believed that what ever I am doing if some one walked in would I be above repoach. I have congradulated this women and she has since moved on and is married now to wonderful man. I asked her once would you ever do it again allow your child to be alone with the bf she said yes but her house was outfitted with babycams so she could see what was happening and she did. Her new husband is great. and the baby cam always runs. I remember getting called up I had babysat and she sounded mad all the way over i was trying to remember what I had done when I got there she showed me the tape. I had forgot to turn on the water when i hooked up the dishwasher and all the dishes had the grime baked on. | |
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| how do you trust guys you date around your child?
Posted: 10/26/2005 12:08:07 PM | I'm glad to hear she's married to a great guy.. I still don't know if I'd ever leave my kids alone with someone unless I'd known them forever and ever.... The cams are good, but once the damage is done... it's done. The good thing is that it catches the person in the act, but it can't stop it...
I guess I've never been in a situation, except when I went back to school, where I ever left my kids in the care of their own dad for more than 1 or 2 hours at a time~~ Overly protective, maybe.... | |
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| how do you trust guys you date around your child?
Posted: 10/26/2005 12:16:03 PM | | Over protection can be good. I mean get between a dog and her pup and see what happens. I think someone should invent something that if something bad happens it sends ashock to the badguy stuns him sends of a call to the 911 dispatch and to a parent and a neighbour or close friend. Maybe we could make this world a safer place for the children. | |
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| how do you trust guys you date around your child?
Posted: 10/26/2005 1:31:58 PM | | Got a question here. Why is it always a guys fault? I have read plenty of research indicating that non-parent women can be just as bad with kids as any guy and sometimes even worse. | |
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| how do you trust guys you date around your child?
Posted: 10/27/2005 7:30:49 AM | Its all about being a good human being. I lived with a women for two years. She had a 7 yrs old little girl and a 16 year old son. I took them in and raised them like my own along with my boys...
There is no way I could ever steel away the innocents of a child....that is just wrong...
Joe | |
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| how do you trust guys you date around your child?
Posted: 10/27/2005 11:18:30 AM | | Maybe we just hear more about the men>? I won't argue that point, although I think the problem is with boyfriends, not husbands.. It seems if it's not a person's natural child, maybe it happens more frequently. I don't know, honestly.. We just recently had a situation in San Francisco.. The 24 year old mother, who was a known schizophrenic, threw her 3 children (ages 6, 4, and 1, I think) into the Bay.... And then just stood there waiting to be arrested.. They managed to find the body of 1 of the children, but never did find the other 2.. She was living in a Salvation Army Shelter (I think?), and her family had tried to get her help, but she went off her meds.. says she heard voices telling her to do it.... | |
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| how do you trust guys you date around your child?
Posted: 10/27/2005 4:07:28 PM | | i have to tell you i know were your daughter stands in this situation. i had two very loving parents but they didnt see that one of there long time friends had a pedifile affliction. He had children of his own and they happened to be girls it was stunning to my parents that when i started school and learned of good touching and bad touching that i told them. the thing i think hurt them the most is because they new that he was also doing it to his own daughters and the oldest at the time was 14 and it took her a month to admit what her dad was and had been doing to her. anyway i have found that im a strong person but am a little picky when it comes to men. i know i wouldnt be able to handle it if it happened to my son. but talking with her and expressing that it truely wasnt her fault will help. communication is very helpful and i found the more i talked about it the easier it was for me to get over it and understand that i had nothin to do with his actions. | |
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| how do you trust guys you date around your child?
Posted: 10/27/2005 6:56:10 PM | To tell you the truth, you will never trust anyone around your kids. Human instinct!! Women can be just as bad as men at abuse!! Gaols have just as many woman in for child abuse as there is men, only the men are made public and the females arent. I have a 15mth old daughter too. My instinct told me something was not right with my ex's new man. She said "Im just being jealous and over reacting". I found out through research that he had abused a couple of people, kids and adults. Trust your internal instincts and if your body tells you something is wrong trust it!! Look to your friends when you need help, for they can see things that you are blinded to by the need for compassion. | |
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| how do you trust guys you date around your child?
Posted: 10/28/2005 3:00:26 AM | | My daughter is 11 and has never met anyone that i have dated.....if i have a night out with my friends, my mum or dad babysits for me....i wouldn't trust anyone else to do it. | |
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| how do you trust guys you date around your child?
Posted: 10/28/2005 8:32:00 AM | | It's too scary these days ((which is why I found a job I could do from home on my computer for 8 years)) ... A shame, that we have to feel like we can't trust anyone at all, but we have to protect our children~~~Too many out there these days taking advantage of them~~ | |
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| how do you trust guys you date around your child?
Posted: 10/29/2005 10:08:45 PM | | Number one I don't include the man I am dating around my childern unless I see that we are really serious. I think that alot people should do this. Because when a person allows other poeple around their kids and then one day that person is no longer there then you have to expalin why... So why do that. Anyway that is just my two cents... | |
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| how do you trust guys you date around your child?
Posted: 10/30/2005 11:33:43 AM | | drop a hidden cam in a prop in the childs room to see what goes on . maybe hes a dragon and shes the princess or maybe hes the prince and shes the dragon . hidden cam is the only way to go. | |
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| how do you trust guys you date around your child?
Posted: 10/30/2005 5:29:19 PM | the best and most full proof way of keeping your children safe from your dates, whether they be male or female, is to keep your dates away from your children.
there are male and female pedofiles out there, both men and women abuse children, and to top it off... we all know that there are pedofiles out there that go after the same sex when committing their crimes. | |
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| how do you trust guys you date around your child?
Posted: 9/16/2006 9:08:02 AM | | a dated a girl for about 3 month before i let her meet my kids, she went all stroppy after that saying that my kids shoulding be there when she is, so that was the end for me and her, i dont care if they are the best looking girl in the world, my kids always come first | |
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| how do you trust guys you date around your child?
Posted: 9/17/2006 9:19:37 AM | It's such a tough call isn't it?
How do you make a life when you
can't trust your family members, neighbors
...or the person you are dating?
My room mate dated a single father, it was
all good until she met the son. The father
was awesome (or so it seemed)
...the kid was from hell. I've
no doubt we'll be reading about him in the
papers a few years from now.
To put it crudely, she wasted valuable months
of her life. If she had've met that kid sooner ...
she'd have known they were incompatible. And
she'd have been able to call Childrens Services
sooner too.
In another breathe, I've chatted with guys from
POF who showed entirely to much interest in my
lil' kid. Thankfully, our real life has been devoid of
sexual deviants.
It's such a tough call.
savage | |
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| how do you trust guys you date around your child?
Posted: 9/17/2006 11:24:11 AM | Savage, I have been in the same situation with dating as your friend. From the kids who don't know how to behave to the ones who get screamed at simply for breathing. If the woman I'm dating is a lousy parent in my opinion then I want nothing to with them. It's not like while your dating that the other person tells you "Hey, I abuse my children and probably will yours if we get together".
I'm also a single father and understand protecting your kids and not parading a bunch of your dates thru your house. At the same time if I'm dating a single mother I want to know what kind of mother she is to her own children. My son's mother was both emotionally and physically abusive and it caused him alot of emotional problems when he was younger and I will never allow that again.
It's a tough call on trusting anyone and knowing when to introduce your kids to the person your dating. There are no hard and fast rules for it and worste of all the biggest danger could be right in your own family. You just have to educate and develop rules for yourself and be vigilant. Also make sure you have good communication between you and your older children so that they know they can always come to you and tell you when something is wrong. | |
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Karl73
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Joined: 9/12/2006
Msg: 49 | |
| how do you trust guys you date around your child?
Posted: 9/18/2006 3:52:59 AM | | Feeling as you do, you don't need a man. Your responsibility is to your little girl. Forget about having sex and a relationship with a man until after she is 18. If you feel you must have a man go back to your exhusband. That way you will not have to worry about a man harming your child. | |
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