| why do people cheat?
Posted: 10/28/2005 6:37:04 AM | And in a nutshell, this is why I never dated, even thru highschool. It just wasnt worth the disappointment.
I see so many jaded people on these sites, and it makes me wonder could someone actually handle a decent guy like me? Well, Im just an old fashioned type. Sex is something that belongs in a love relationship. But how can we express that to a lady? My God this world is so confusing. | |
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| why do people cheat?
Posted: 10/28/2005 6:51:49 AM | lol @ mrbored who's a married fella looking for an intimate encounter 
If a person stays with somone who cheats on them, there is a GREAT BIG whopping possibility that the cheater will cheat again yes....why not? their mate has already decided to stay with them despite the fact that they cheated.
However, if a mate LEAVES their partner who has cheated on them, there's a good chance they will be less likely to cheat with a new mate. | |
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| why do people cheat?
Posted: 10/28/2005 7:26:55 AM | Why do people over eat? I don't
Why do people talk non-stop? I don't
Why do people lie? I don't
Why do people listen to crappy music? I don't
why do people get tattoos? I don't
why do people anaylize others? I don't
why do people do anything? | |
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| why do people cheat?
Posted: 10/28/2005 8:18:07 AM | you don't even know what your talking about...angels??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
**even the thought of any fantasy other than you partner is cheating!!!
**seeing the other sex on the road, TV.,or a poster and going WOW is cheating!!!
**SO tell me who have't done that!!!
**so scratch your heads a little bit and go take a shower and relax, all human-kind
are full of mistakes.
**the only few people that have NOOOOOOOOO mistakes are the*** PROFITS***
** and IFFFFFFFFFFFF you are a man/woman enough prove otherwise!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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| why do people cheat?
Posted: 10/28/2005 8:54:33 AM | | People cheat because they are not into you. It's a common comment of cheaters that "it had nothing to do with you; it's me". Ironically, they say this as if it's supposed to make you feel better. It is, however, usually true. It is rare to actively love 2 people at the same time. When it happens, the inner turmoil can be devestating. What usually happens is that the existing relationship get rationalized down into the subconscious and 'ceases to exist', for all intents and purposes. The cheater is no longer into you. It is a form of cowardice at the subconcious level. Forgiving the cheater almost never gets them 'back into you". In fact, the guilt and shame usually gets rationalized as a rationale to avoid you emotionally even more. Unfortunately, the 'once a cheater, always a cheater' mantra is so often true because regaining the connection that has been lost is an always difficult and frequently impossible task. If you have been cheated on, understand that you must now take full responsibility for your own happiness, security, and future. The violation of trust that cheating represents makes it foolish indeed to risk explicit trust with that person again. If this level of trust is important to you, as it is to me, you should look for another relationship. Even cheaters who are genuinely sorry for the consequences of their actions, have poisioned the waters of unconditional trust irrevocably, and without this trust, loving relationships become shallow and unfulfilling. Cheating kills the potential for a truly loving relationship, period. Life is too fleeting and deep love too rare to waste time trying to clean the pollution from a trust-depried relationship. My advice is to try again. 10 seconds in heaven is a thousand times more valuable than a hundred years in purgatory. Good luck and heal with strength. | |
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| why do people cheat?
Posted: 10/28/2005 8:56:10 AM | | All the banter sounds a bit like bashing to me. I'll try to give insight on the subject. Perhaps there is a need that is not being filled along with a comunication gap that doesn't allow the need to be addressed. Then in some cases cheating is not just for sex but a desire to be desired. In some cases of course. In others sex is the overiding factor. Just my opinion. | |
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| why do people cheat?
Posted: 10/28/2005 9:11:45 AM | | Simon you have spoken the golden words. Thank you!!!!! Excellent and SO true. :) | |
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| why do people cheat?
Posted: 10/28/2005 9:24:21 AM | I think the whole "internet dating thing" has made things worse... It's like the Shopping Network for people... There are actually divorces being filed on the basis of just "online cheating".... Sooo, watch out people.. I do believe it's going to be considered the same as "the other"~~
I don't get the cheating thing either.. Never did it, never will... I couldn't look the person in the eyes ever again if I did... | |
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| why do people cheat?
Posted: 10/28/2005 10:00:16 AM | I think the whole "internet dating thing" has made things worse... It's like the Shopping Network for people... There are actually divorces being filed on the basis of just "online cheating".... Sooo, watch out people.. I do believe it's going to be considered the same as "the other"~~
I don't get the cheating thing either.. Never did it, never will... I couldn't look the person in the eyes ever again if I did... | |
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| why do people cheat?
Posted: 10/28/2005 10:36:41 AM | | abcdabcd....hon, why are you still with him! if he cheated for an entire month, what makes you think he wont do it again, sure he dumped that one, but what about the next...be careful, once a cheater always a cheater is sooo true! take it from one who's been through it! | |
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| why do people cheat?
Posted: 10/28/2005 8:09:51 PM | | i believe most of the time that people cheat is they are bored,,, thats what my ex husband told me anyway. they get tired of the same oh same oh. | |
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| why do people cheat?
Posted: 10/28/2005 8:39:50 PM | From one of first messages, cheating as self preservation.... ? ,
Maybe it is topic in itself, Maybe someone can help me to understand the concept.
To me, cheating is more self destruction, an opposite to self preservation.
Any help?
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| why do people cheat?
Posted: 10/28/2005 10:19:30 PM | Oh for God's sake people.....we all know the reasons why people cheat. The reason why this question always comes back over and over again is because of the pain and anguish we all go through when it happens to us. We all so much want to believe that there is a deeper and more meaningful explanation that might aleviate the pain just a little. Selfishness, lack of respect, ego, revenge...etc...we all know this. Most of us have been hurt by this at least once in our lives and when it does....the question always comes back....WHY.
Sad to say...but the answers still remain the same. Just one of life's painful lessons. I can really sympathize with anyone going through this. It is absolutely devastating and the healing process is sometimes very long. The good news is...we all do survive it and it does hopefully make us stronger, wiser and more intuitive as far as choosing better partners. | |
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| why do people cheat?
Posted: 11/1/2005 8:47:38 AM | psychman,
i dont think he isnt into me cause he is all over me all the time. at the time he cheated we lived over an hour apart. now we are living togeather and it seems he always 'parden the expression'"up my but" but he is very affectionate to me. some times i wander if he was just useing the girl he cheated with cause she give him money and stuff and she claimed she was getting a check for 10,000 dollors which he told me bout that she was gonna give to him to help him out with some legal stuff but he really was gonna use the money to get him and i our own place. she never got that check though but now that im staying with him and even a week before i moved with him he droped her like old trash and has not had nothing to do with her since. | |
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| why do people cheat?
Posted: 11/1/2005 9:09:34 AM | | Do you really think that? Once a cheater always a cheater? I believe that people can and do change. I personally have never cheated but I have come close one time. Paid for it dearly and Have never even come close again. That was when I was in Jr. High school and I am now 41 years old. I believe people can learn from their mistakes and as few as it may be they do actually stick to their morals. I also believe there are people out there who still have morals. | |
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| why do people cheat?
Posted: 11/1/2005 5:42:24 PM | I agree that people can & do change. It's just often rare. Many people I've met who do cheat have a whole slew of excuses & denials to back up what they do. My favorite was the guy who would fight with his girlfriend, go out that night with another girl & get back with his girlfriend the next day. To quote..."I'm not cheating! We were broken up!" Yeah! For about 12 hours! Does that even count? I think cheating makes a cheater feel important, that it kinda swells the ego a bit. Insecurity is the root of it all. Perhaps also fear of being alone? | |
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| why do people cheat?
Posted: 11/15/2005 6:16:18 PM | | i wasn't just talking about men i am also talking about the women!! | |
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| why do people cheat?
Posted: 11/15/2005 7:15:37 PM | | i think that people who cheat over and over again are people who have no self worth .I think they do not feel good about who they are so they need many people to make them feel good about them selfs... | |
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| why do people cheat?
Posted: 11/15/2005 8:09:19 PM | | Because the grass is always greener on the other side. I never cheated on my wife, but I had ex girlfriends try to get me to cheat with them, I had buddy's wives try to get me to cheat, and I had some of my wife's best friends try to get me to cheat with them. My wife cheated on me a year after we were married. I fogave her and never mentioned it again. Then about 8 years ago, she came onto a buddy of mine. We had been friends since high school. Again I forgave her, and never said another word about it. Three years ago, a friend from England was here in the states, she tried to cheat with him. He pushed heraway and told me about it. She lied to me, and said he was lieing. Then about a week after he went back to England, I found a love letter she was sending him. Proved who was lieing. The reason people cheat is because they think there is somebody better out there. I know now that there is somebody better out there for me. I know she is free to find out that she won't find another man that will treat her as special as I did. She can have all the guys she wants now, but she only cheated herself. I can't stand cheaters, liars, gossips or thieves. They all rate lower than a slug in my oppinion. | |
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| why do people cheat?
Posted: 11/15/2005 8:28:50 PM | Girl be careful If he did it once he will do it again...once a dog alwaysa dog....RUN | |
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| why do people cheat?
Posted: 11/15/2005 8:34:15 PM | I think people cheat for a lot of different reasons. But mostly just b/c its something new and exciting, but then after a while even sweet sugar gets old. And its true what they say once a cheater more than likely always a cheater. There are also some mental conditions you can have that cause you the have the constant need to seduce or to be seduced (basically meaning need to scrog anyone that is around and willing) I think the time/s I have cheated were mostly during trying emotional issues going on in my life. Because it sure was not just for the sex. In the end when you cheat you are only screwing yourself. But seriously once a cheater always a cheater and if you think just because you caught him /her this time.....it probably was not the first time (just the only time you know about ) and it sure as hell won't be the last time. But like someone said a few back....basically don't condemn people....b/c we all have our own skeletons in our closets/  | |
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| why do people cheat?
Posted: 11/15/2005 8:35:18 PM | | Girl he hasn't been with her that you know of. LOve is bling...WAKE UP!!!! | |
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| why do people cheat?
Posted: 11/15/2005 8:52:51 PM | | I dont know.....Thats the answer. I wanted to know why when it happened to me. Well, it was my fault for not picking up my pepsi can and falling asleep on the couch. Seriously....thats why. Thats the reason I was given....LOL....And....Baby girl, you are not ok if you are still with someone who was playing you before. I know it doesnt feel good to let things go, but sometimes its gotta happen. I learned it the hard way. You either leave the player or get played then they leave you. No matter what, your heart breaks. But at least if you do the leaving, you are in the power position.....You dont have to sit and look like the dumbass I looked like. Trust me on that one. Susanne, your ex is an asshole, thats why he cheated. You can let him know I said that. | |
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