Skepse
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Joined: 9/17/2004
Msg: 51 | |
| WOMEN and MEN ... would you like to date deaf people??
Posted: 11/12/2005 12:17:48 PM | | I don't have *any* problem dating deaf men... in fact, I dated a deaf man for nearly 3 years once. It wasn't a big deal for me at ALL... but it was a big deal for him. The longer we were together, the more he seemed resent that I could hear and become angry if he wasn't included in every single conversation when we were in a group (not that he was being ignored, at all... but if you're at a party or in a big group not every person is involved in every conversation, hearing or not). It indeed up being a problem because he wasn't secure in himself about his hearing loss, despite having been deaf from birth. I'd date a deaf man again... but ONLY IF he were very secure/confident about it. | |
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| WOMEN and MEN ... would you like to date deaf people??
Posted: 11/12/2005 2:31:40 PM | skepse.. i agree with you .. i am very secure and confident .. i am very happy person.. ilove both hearing and deaf worlds.. it is so fun.. i think i am lucky to be in BOTh worlds because of challenges and experiences i have ..
judy | |
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| WOMEN and MEN ... would you like to date deaf people??
Posted: 11/13/2005 7:45:44 AM | My youngest sister is deaf, her husband is deaf, her children are hearing. My sisters husbands family never learned sign language and it had a detrimental affect on him growing up. When he was introduced to my family he was in awe...wow everyone signs here, everyone knows my language and can communicate with me. He was home!! My sister who is hearing ( another one), her chosen profession is a sign language interpreter. a young girl I know has been actively dating a deaf man for 2 yrs and she thinks he is the sweetest. I find that people who cannot hear have their own culture, their own ways of thinking, their own friends. I think that some of this culture was developed due to the harshness of society and being segregated from idiotic people who just dont understand..Do you know how many people have said to me...but she is deaf ..how can she drive? I was unaware that you needed to ears to hear in order to operate a vechicle. Isn't driving supposed to be all about awareness. I am sick of society shunning intelligent human beings from the workforce because they cant hear or because the company has to pay extra insurance, what a load of crap. I know this is long but I really needed to get some of this out. In conclusion..deaf people are wonderful human beings that are only missing one tiny part yet they have made that missing part shine through in all other areas. Soo yes...I would learn sign language, I would date a man who cant hear. I would, I would, I would. So to all who fear the unknown...sorry about your luck!!! You don't know what you are missing! Besides eventually we all go deaf anyways due to our old age factors at some point we will all be wearing hearing aids, why not learn to sign now then you wont have to shout later lol.
P.S. I would love a copy of that book once completed and kudos to you my friend. | |
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| WOMEN and MEN ... would you like to date deaf people??
Posted: 11/13/2005 8:37:28 AM | Of course, I will date a deaf person. I happened to have a friend who is partially deaf & we got along great. When we met first, it was a bit difficult to get the message across & there were times,when I call him when he is downstairs (forgetting he cant hear properly....) and he dint hear. Eventually we were getting used to each other.....ofcourse, there were times, when we dint understand each other & had to keep on repeating the same thing, still I had fun being with him and eventually I too started reading lips.  I had a great time with him and he is one of the best guys I ever met, very caring & kind and yes, i eventually fell in love with him, though that was the last thing on my mind..
Hmm.. yes, I dont mind learning the sign language, if that is required..and yes, I am willing to be patient....
No, I wouldnt feel awkward to introduce the person to my friends.. why would I..?? Thats the person I love, so I dont see reason to be embarassed .
And ofcourse, I would definitely interpret..I dont want the person to be left out...
So I dont think , I would ever miss an oppurtunity to date some one, just because of some disablity. I dont think its a big deal to be disabled, if the person has a good heart. | |
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| WOMEN and MEN ... would you like to date deaf people??
Posted: 11/13/2005 2:56:41 PM | clazzy thanks for sharing with us .. that is important.. you are right bout what you think and what you saw thru ..
indurose that is good that you dont feel shy around them .. when i date men and noticed that they feel awkward around me because they dont know how to start conservation.. idiots... oops .. how to start conservation... writing notes.. or using gestures.. use common senses...
smile
some men i dated didnt care if i am deaf or not .. they made me more comfortable and confident.. some men i dated didnt make me feel comfortable because they didnt know where or how to start conservation.. if they continue feeling awkward after few dates then i wouldnt date them again .. | |
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| WOMEN and MEN ... would you like to date deaf people??
Posted: 11/13/2005 3:41:46 PM | I can't see any reason why not?!?
I read a book called "A Maiden's Grave" about a group of 8 deaf school girls that were abducted by some homicidal maniacs and they used sign language and other learned communication methods to help outwit the bad guys. After that book, I tried to learn sign language, but didn't have anyone to practise with so my skills became obsolete. But, I would love to learn it properly.
can you be willing to learn sign language ?? YES
can you be patience?? USUALLY
would you like to be involved in our world ?? deaf socials ?? SURE
would you interpret for us what you talk bout when we are with you ? and on phone with your friends ?? IF NEEDED
would you feel awkward when we are with you in front of your friends?? NO
if you want to date deaf people tell me why?? DEAF HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH IT?
would you love us for us ?? SURE
do you think we are easy?? I HOPE SO!! but I doubt it :(
You said I can ask a question, and I have one:
Is it true that within the deaf community there is a different opinion of those who lip read and speak, than those who only sign? Just curious... | |
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| WOMEN and MEN ... would you like to date deaf people??
Posted: 11/13/2005 8:18:57 PM | ekkobeach, oh well .. there are some deaf people that rather stay oral ( they dont use sign language ) in my opinion they are brainwashed by people who taught them to stay oral .. who uses lipreading..
i am a very good lipreader.. but depends on who i can understand.. most deaf people rather use sign language .. very small percent of deaf people uses lip reading and oral ..
i rather use sign language because it helps me understand more than using oral or lipreading.. misunderstanding is a big problem for us if we use lipreading or oral.. i went thru that many times..
smile | |
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| WOMEN and MEN ... would you like to date deaf people??
Posted: 11/14/2005 7:36:30 AM | Ekkobeach, check out www.lifeprint.com for a free on-line site designed to teach sign language. Also look into Adult Education courses in your community.
I've been dating a very nice deaf guy. The only part I find frustrating is that it's harder to get into deeper philosophical discussions about emotions because I don't have the vocabulary and it takes a longer time to write down. Again, this is where email and IM really help.
I've been meaning to learn sign language for some time now -- based on family and personal medical history, it is extremely likely that I will be completely deaf when I get older. Seeing my grandmother try and manage with amplifiers and the like, has convinced me that when I get to that point, I want to be able to fit into a supportive community that I can communicate with! Dating has just given me a chance to practice what I already know and a greater incentive to get off my duff and sign up for classes.
Thanks for the really interesting and supportive discussion! | |
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| WOMEN and MEN ... would you like to date deaf people??
Posted: 11/14/2005 7:55:14 AM | I am deaf but have never dated another hearing impaired person. For the most part no one I have ever dated had a real problem with my hearing (or lack of), though towards the end my ex husband started being a bit of a pig about it. He would get upset if I asked him to repeat something, or when I turned on the captions on the TV. Stuff that had been going on for years. Oh well, his loss!
The man I am with now is learning sign, we have also developed our own little languange. It works out fine. | |
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| WOMEN and MEN ... would you like to date deaf people??
Posted: 11/14/2005 11:47:28 AM | | you are very welcome Judy. Another funny story about my guy: when he was telling his sister about me and told her I was deaf, her reply was "good, so she won't have to listen to your s**t" ....... hehehehehe ... I thought that was just too funny. | |
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| WOMEN and MEN ... would you like to date deaf people??
Posted: 11/14/2005 12:17:23 PM | undercover ... it was funny..oh my gosh LOL ..
i am going to host POF party here on dec 10th .. i found the place .. finally so i will go to get a new thread to set up so they can sign up ..
talk to you later.. judy | |
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| WOMEN and MEN ... would you like to date deaf people??
Posted: 11/14/2005 7:04:58 PM | HELLO MY LADY IF YOU WOULD WRITE TO ME YOU WOULD FIND THAT I WOULD LOVE TO LEARN TO SPEAK SING OR I SHOULD LEARN TO DO SO ???????? FEEL LIKE TEACHING ME TO DO SO?????????????????????????????
WITH LOVE RICK | |
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Tinkle
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Joined: 11/2/2005
Msg: 65 | |
| WOMEN and MEN ... would you like to date deaf people??
Posted: 11/15/2005 10:55:22 PM | I think I could with no more problem than any other relationship would have, other than I wish she could have the option of experiencing music the way I do. Do I actively seek def women? No. Not anymore than I actively seek any other ones.
I wouldn't have a problem with dating a blind women either. | |
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| WOMEN and MEN ... would you like to date deaf people??
Posted: 11/16/2005 12:10:27 AM | can you be willing to learn sign language ?? - I already know sign language.
can you be patience?? - It all depends on the other person's willingliness to listen as well as talk.
would you like to be involved in our world ?? deaf socials ?? - Already am, I'm deaf since birth.
would you interpret for us what you talk bout when we are with you ? and on phone with your friends ?? -Yep.
would you feel awkward when we are with you in front of your friends?? No, but I've known a few people who felt awkward towards me, for example, not sure how loud to speak.
if you want to date deaf people tell me why?? I've never dated any deaf gals, I don't know any.
would you love us for us ?? I don't see why not, since I'm in the same boat.
do you think we are easy?? Again, never had that situation. | |
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| WOMEN and MEN ... would you like to date deaf people??
Posted: 11/16/2005 1:46:35 AM | Sure. I have had to learn ASL in the past as a function of my job. It's a little rusty, but I found it to be an elegant way of communication. As far as all the other questions go....well, it's a little silly to dwell on the differences anyway......don't you think? I wouldn't mind meeting a great man that couldn't hear me yelling at the bad drivers on the road, thus preserving my image of sweetness....jk
But seriously, as far as disabilities go, being hearing impaired/deaf is very innocuous to most people that don't deal with disabilities. I think the issue that comes up when thinking about having relationships with persons with disabilities is, 'will I be a partner or a caregiver?' Deafness doesn't seem to interfere with independence. Being deaf doesn't threaten or challenge people that can hear with any negative connotations. Notice that most people thought it would be cool to learn another language?
I think you will find that most of us that can hear will not include or exclude anyone based on their ability/inability to hear. (BTW, one of my first loves was deaf- fabulous man!) | |
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| WOMEN and MEN ... would you like to date deaf people??
Posted: 11/16/2005 1:53:21 AM | | (ps...i have a sibling that is hearing impaired from birth and is nearly deaf at this point. she has made it a point to be able to communicate with others. i think it's our obligation to reciprocate.) | |
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| WOMEN and MEN ... would you like to date deaf people??
Posted: 11/16/2005 3:41:04 PM | (ps...i have a sibling that is hearing impaired from birth and is nearly deaf at this point. she has made it a point to be able to communicate with others. i think it's our obligation to reciprocate.)
Er....is your sister single?  | |
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| WOMEN and MEN ... would you like to date deaf people??
Posted: 11/16/2005 4:05:04 PM | I play the drums and I love music. It's something that I feel the need to share. So I don't think I could date a deaf woman because I wouldn't be able to share that part of my life. At the same time, a deaf woman would never complain about how much I like to practice playing!
Take care, Judy. You're attitude is amazing. | |
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| WOMEN and MEN ... would you like to date deaf people??
Posted: 11/17/2005 12:29:05 AM | (Of all the sounds a deaf person may be challenged to interact with - music is not one of them.)
Actually, you're wrong about that. Beethoven wrote and performed beautiful symphonies, and he was deaf. There are ways that deaf people can listen to music (amplification, vibration, etc).....I've been deaf since birth, but that didn't stop me from listening to music. | |
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