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| WOMEN and MEN ... would you like to date deaf people??
Posted: 11/17/2005 1:26:02 AM | Oh, and being hearing impaired with hearing aids DOES have a huge benefit: if I don't like what I'm hearing, I can just flip a switch and turn off the world around me!!! 
Hearing aids ROCK!  :D | |
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| WOMEN and MEN ... would you like to date deaf people??
Posted: 11/17/2005 3:34:08 AM | ilove2smile,
Sure, I wouldn't mind dating someone who is deaf, there still a wonderful person inside. I am handicapped myself, and know what it's like trying to get a date. The sign language I would try to learn, especially if we got deeply involved, and were going to live with each other. Do you lip read any? That would be a big help to ones who don't know how to sign. I've got to tell you, we're the same age, and your one sexy woman to be 40. You looked younger than that, and was suprised when I looked up at your age. | |
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| WOMEN and MEN ... would you like to date deaf people??
Posted: 11/17/2005 9:56:24 PM | | nothing wrong with deaf folk. they have a right to be here as much as anyone else . besides being deaf. does not mean they are different. they are like anyone else . they know how to love and care. i have a book on sign language it was given to me. yes they smile too . and they know happiness . | |
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| WOMEN and MEN ... would you like to date deaf people??
Posted: 11/17/2005 10:34:33 PM | Hi Love2Smile and others! :)
I got a giggle out of some of the replies here...but pleasantly surprised to see how many folks say "dating a deafie" would not be a problem.
I am "deaf." I have a hereditary, progressive, sensorneural hearing loss...which means I was born with "normal" hearing...learned speech and grammar...and my hearing loss progressed to where it was severe and profound when I was about 18. I opted for a Cochlear Implant about 3 years ago, so while I am hearing with my implant...I am deaf with it off. (That is actually amazing...deaf people tend to sleep soooo well!!) LOL
The thing is...there is "deaf" versus "Deaf"...also known as "little d deaf" and "big D deaf" in the deaf world! (Amazing tidbits, hunh??) ;o) More precisely, Deaf persons are more into Deaf Culture...a lot of Deaf are actually anti-Cochlear Implant and you will hear them (no pun intended!) say things such as the OP, about "loving to be deaf." I have never been Deaf culture-y deaf...always have been oral, mainstream educated, believe in total communication, etc.
One thing...deaf (just typoed "dead" for deaf...sure glad I caught that one!!) LOL people DO enjoy music!! I used to freak people out at Parents Without Partners dances, when they would find out I was deaf...cause I danced my a*** off! ;o)
Would I date someone deaf? I have before! The deafness is not what ended the relationship. We communicated more with lipreading and hearing aid assistance...and we did not limit ourselves to socializing with just deaf groups...we mixed it up. I actually prefer non-deaf socials to deaf socials...but that is quite simply because the deaf can join the non-deaf and not feel like outcasts...whereas it cannot be vice versa-ed!
There is a silly little rumor that deaf girls are "easy" as well as "more wild" sexually. I truly think this is something to do with how we express ourselves...and being...well...louder than normal! I think the whole easy part comes from someone who dated deaf girls who were desperate for attention...and not all deaf people are...there are a lot of us who are emotionally well adjusted and secure! LOL
Dating someone deaf has some advanatages...and I mean seriously, besides the humorous ones! For example...all of my concert tickets are front row seating...lol...because where I live, they offer "ADA seating" and the ones for deaf, are interpreted and front row seats! LOL Also...I have always been told I am the BEST listener they have ever met! Why?? Because I am always watching the lips, eyes, face, expressions, etc...truly listening!
I have had some deafie peeves...people who refuse to repeat something...saying something like, "Never mind!!" Sheesh! If it was not important enough to repeat once, then why bother in the first place?! ;o)~ Also...talking behind someone's (deaf) back about them...as well as friends who out of trying to be nice...tell someone automatically that you are deaf...usually when you misunderstood something due to loud music, mumbling, etc...and they assume it is your hearing loss! LOL
Sorry I got so long-winded here! Just had to chime in! | |
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| WOMEN and MEN ... would you like to date deaf people??
Posted: 11/18/2005 12:16:58 AM | Wow Everyone out here are wonderful...I have meet someone who is blind and the difference was not so different he played music for me...it was nice...the best part was i ran into him at a jazzfest and it was like we knew eachother forever ,though it was years and he even said he had the chance of meeting my kids......of course i told them about him..
As for dating someone deaf of course,they are the same as us they laugh,cry and bleed the bleed as the reat of us...i agree it would to harder at first but if you try anything at first it might be a little hard...i chat with a wonderful man on pof....his name is Robert and he,s so handsome i cant wait to meet him in person,and with all the noise in this house ,birds ,dogs cats and children i know he can deal with me and not run away because of all the noise (lol)
also i have a hard time with grammar,and he deals with that!!!!!!!
sorry for saying so much....... | |
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| WOMEN and MEN ... would you like to date deaf people??
Posted: 11/19/2005 11:30:43 PM | I would not have a problem with that at all. I am tri-lingual lol. English, Spanish and I know moderate sign language. I am able to communicate very well with a deaf person and would not see a problem at all dating someone with a hearing impairment.
Deb. | |
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| WOMEN and MEN ... would you like to date deaf people??
Posted: 11/20/2005 2:07:46 AM | Other than to get some fodder for your book, I can't really understand why a deaf person would be asking these questions....but maybe your experiences have been different than mine.
First, here is my background, so you'll know where I'm coming from...
I have a very profound hearing loss, (considered deaf), but I don't feel any different than anyone else, except when it comes to using phones. I wear 2 hearing aids, and read lips. When my parents got divorced, they went to court and fought over whether I should be put in a school for the deaf and learn sign, or go to a regular school and learn lip reading. I ended up going to a regular school and learned lip reading. I also took 2 years of sign language in college. The teacher was somewhat deaf, and was friends with a lot of deaf kids our age, so she arranged for us to socialize.
Now, about the questions..what is this 'our world' vs 'your world'? I am the same person as a 'hearing, lip reading person ' that I would have been, had I signed instead, as a way of life. Do the blind have an 'our world' vs 'your world'? I never heard about it. What about people who can't walk? I don't think so...I think this is the worse form of segregation...(my opinion)
Why should someone have to say why they would date a deaf person??? You act like we're from MARS!! Good grief!!
Why would a deaf person be 'easy', (or thought of that way), because she can't hear? She can still say "NO", can't she? That question has to do with morals....... hearing, or no hearing.
I had a co worker who ran into someone from the Deaf Institute, and she wanted to ask them something about TV captioning for me, (or something...I forget now), but when she mentioned the deaf girl at work, the deaf representative went off on her and was very rude...telling her that I had no business in the hearing world, blah, blah, blah!! My co worker was shocked...to tell the truth, so was I!
One time when I was working retail, the manager came running up to me and said that they had a deaf customer in another department, and someone told him that I signed, so he needed me to interpret. Well, I hadn't had anyone to practice on, so I remembered very little sign, but I went over there and got a notepad and pen, and we wrote notes back and forth to figure out what she wanted. I told that manager, that she was DEAF, which means she can't HEAR...it doesn't mean she is uneducated...she can still read and write!!!!
I have no regrets about going to a regular school, getting a regular job, having regular relationships. My hearing had never been a problem with any of my relationships...as a matter of fact, after my ex husband and I split up, and he remarried, he made an interesting comment to me. He said that he was so used to having my undivided attention when he talked to me, that when he got remarried, it was hard for him to get used to her being in another room while he talked, saying, "Go ahead, I'm listening."
Just my 2 cents....and letting people see how it really is... | |
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| WOMEN and MEN ... would you like to date deaf people??
Posted: 11/20/2005 2:08:43 AM | @Deen, I too, had never heard a bird sing or a clock tick, until I was about 35, and the hearing aids had become much more technical. I heard a new noise when I got my new hearing aids one day. I couldn't figure out what it was. I was alone, so I couldn't ask anyone. So I put my ear against the wall and walked around the room in the direction of the noise. It was a clock ticking and it clicked louder than the others. What I couldn't hear before, was suddenly so annoying, that I had to get rid of the clock! LOL!
@Shy, I never have any trouble hearing moans...are you sure he couldn't hear them, or did you just assume that he didn't? Most of us hear sounds, but have trouble making out the words...moaning is a language of it's own. LOL! You can show someone what you like by moving their hands....honestly, my men have never complained about it interfering with sex....except that I can't hear 'sweet nothings' whispered in my ear, but that's MY loss, not theirs...they can still whisper them, and pretend I hear them, I don't care!!
@edgerunner2005, I have a child who has excellent hearing. She has been tested at the hospital before I took her home...standard procedure, I'm told. Now she is 21, still no problems. FYI, I have been deaf since birth, but no one in my family has a hearing loss, so there are no guarantees for a perfect child, even if both parents are perfect.
@mindsky, music is no problem for me. I love it, I love concerts...(one of my favorite things to do!!), and I have my preferences, like anyone else. The only problem I have is that I don't understand the words, therefore I don't know the names of many songs. You could ask me if I like a certain song, and I wouldn't know, but when it's played to me, I'm like, "Oh my God!! I LOVE that song!!" LOL!
@HarleyKat, we are on the same page here, I totally agree with everything you are saying. (I've always enjoyed reading your posts, but was totally shocked to hear that you were deaf too!! I have a story about the Cochlear Implant. I'm in my fifties, and for the last few years, my mom has been on me to get it done. I told her, "Mom, I have been different all my life, (not that it bothered me, though), why would I want to get the Cochlear Implant now, when people my age are losing their hearing? I'm about to be like everyone else my age and that would make me different than them all over again!" LOL! | |
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| WOMEN and MEN ... would you like to date deaf people??
Posted: 11/20/2005 6:05:35 AM | Brainwashed? Excuse me? You have just done yourself and the deaf/hard-of-hearing population a disservice. I am hearing impaired. I wear two hearing aids and, at times, only one. I know very little sign language and I do not consider myself brainswashed because I chose to stay 'oral' as you call it. 'Oral' is how I was born. And I stayed that way eventually learning, completely solo, a great degree of lip reading techniques, in part, as a coping strategy, as my hearing eventually declined. You wish to take a survey, and I commend you for that but please, chose your words carefully. You may speak, or should I say, sign for yourself, but do not assume for the rest of us.
Been an intelligent creature, I take total ownership of my behaviours and do not ever consider myself 'brainwashed' by anyone in making the choices that I have regarding chosen strategies with hearing capabilities. If anything, my differently-abled ability has been the catalyst for providing a genesis-like outlook toward fellow humans. It gives me a 'clean slate' mode of thinking and a broad range of insight toward appreciating culture, ethics, freedoms, and unconditional regard for fellow man/woman regardless of this badly labelled condition that society has chosen to call 'dis-abled'. It also necessitated the strong desire in me to overcome AND set a personal bar for higher standards in what would otherwise be viewed non-chalantly by the 'hearing' poplulation; none of which I consider brainwashing, even though yes, there has been the media of influence in my decisions.
We are differently-abled. Not just the deaf/hard-of-hearing population, but everyone.
We all have gifts in 'earthen vessels'. Having said that, let us appreciate, celebrate, and embrace ( gasp! Yessssssssss!!) each other and the individual choices we make, with patience and kindness refusing to succumb to what some label brainwashed thinking.
Best of luck with your survey! An excellent topic to explore.
Ireland39 | |
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| WOMEN and MEN ... would you like to date deaf people??
Posted: 11/20/2005 7:32:19 AM |
@HarleyKat, we are on the same page here, I totally agree with everything you are saying. (I've always enjoyed reading your posts, but was totally shocked to hear that you were deaf too!! I have a story about the Cochlear Implant. I'm in my fifties, and for the last few years, my mom has been on me to get it done. I told her, "Mom, I have been different all my life, (not that it bothered me, though), why would I want to get the Cochlear Implant now, when people my age are losing their hearing? I'm about to be like everyone else my age and that would make me different than them all over again!" LOL!
Hi Dceeee and others!
I could write an entire thread on the new sounds I have heard! :O) I actually do have an article with HealthyHearing.com about my early CI experiences...but some of the ones I recall the most: With hearing aids...I had just gotten a new pair of Resounds and was munching on a pack of M&M's when I was SHOCKED to hear how loud it sounded when I chewed! Made me very self-conscious of eating for several weeks! LOL After my implant, it was more sounds that we all prolly take for granted...a paper towel zipping off it's roll, bare feet pitter pattering on ceramic tile floors, and my fave....I had coated a baking pan with aluminum foil, spread some chicken boobs out, and was seasoning them...the different seasons actually all made a unique *pinging* sound...almost musical! I went to town with that! LOL Everyone was eating...looking at me oddly...when my son said, "These are really good mom...but they have an awful lot of spices on them!:  Oh...and the very first environmental sound I heard with my CI?? Three public toilets flushing simultaneously! ROAR! It was shocking! LOL
Re. the CI itself. It is not for everyone, though my enthusiasm is contagious for it. The one great thing to keep an open mind about with the CI, is that it does not "change" you as a person...it simply opens more doors for you. You are STILL "deaf" after you have an implant...because you can remove it whenever you wish. So it will not take away the "deafness" unless you are like me...and enjoy the sounds it brings in an addictive way! (I only sleep without mine!) I went from not being able to communicate on the phone, to being able to understand EVERYONE; strangers, people with accents, children, soft spoken persons, etc. That in itself is amazing! I was stuck in the 70's genre of music because it is all I knew...I am now listening to new stuff as well as TALK radio! (Used to be what drove me nuts since all it sounded like to me was a bunch of mrrphh mrrgggh and canned laughter! LOL My speech/enunciation also improved...and I did not even think I ever really sounded "deaf." I also can now hear people from other rooms, across the rooms, etc...so it has been a gift for me. :o)
Oh...and I did the clock type sounds too!! LOL Too funny in the early stages of new hearing...trying to locate what the heck is making that noise! LOL Microwaves, clocks, dryer timer, toilet tank filling, etc...every day environmental sounds that I had NO IDEA made noises! Sure takes a lot to get used to...but is fascinating! We went away for a week after my "turn on" (activation) with my CI...stayed at a resort where I could focus on sounds and hearing...and it was the first time since childhood that I heard (TRULY heard!) birds. I spent hours in the a.m. on the deck, listening to the different species, calls, and so on...it was the most beautiful sound...but like most with normal hearing...I have taken that one for granted now, too.
Gosh...I tend to write novels in this thread...sorry! It is just an amazing thing to go from having nothing or almost nothing, to having it all! ;o)
Oh...and Decee....soon, the people from yours and my generations that are losing their hearing, will be eligible for CI's as well! So hearing loss very well could be a thing of the past! ;o) I enjoy your posts too, by the way! Us "deafies" sure do rock! LOL | |
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| WOMEN and MEN ... would you like to date deaf people??
Posted: 11/20/2005 7:35:15 AM |
i found deaf women to be overly sensual, which is very HOT!
Not OVERLY sensual, Ackrites! Just MORE sensual! ;o) Actually, it all comes from expressing ourselves in non-verbal ways...we find the use of hands, expressions, eye contact, etc...to be a part of every day life...and what is sexier (HOT!) than all of that in a romantic, sexual way?? ;o) | |
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| WOMEN and MEN ... would you like to date deaf people??
Posted: 11/20/2005 1:43:05 PM | LOL...long winded but well said.
I don't know about dating a "deaf girl." I have never done so before. But I would be willing to do so.
Why not? What is the difference?
I have dated girls who are capable of hearing yet incapable of listening. Why not try someone who is capable of listening if she cannot hear? The key is that in this second proposal I would perhaps find a woman who would accept me for the ideas that come from within rather than the other things.
(BTW: There is a deaf woman here on this site, to who's profile I responded earlier this afternoon. The fact that she is deaf did not attract me. Rather it was the blunt openness of her profile that prompted my interest.) | |
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| WOMEN and MEN ... would you like to date deaf people??
Posted: 11/20/2005 2:53:50 PM | Way to go, Ireland, I agree with you wholeheartedly!!!
HarleyKat, I laughed out loud at your post...more than once....you are just too funny!! I think I just found an online friend...(if it's okay with you) | |
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| WOMEN and MEN ... would you like to date deaf people??
Posted: 11/20/2005 6:43:08 PM | [QUOTE]I have dated girls who are capable of hearing yet incapable of listening. Why not try someone who is capable of listening if she cannot hear?
+1
I would be interested to date someone who deaf or not, is natively fluent in asl. I have a couple of spoken languages, but no signed languages. I have seen some signed interpretation of music performances, and they are amazingly beautiful. I'm sure they would only be better if I could understand the signs. It is said that the best way to learn a language is to take a lover...
So, yeah, sure. I don't see deafness as something that is likely to be a real impediment to a relationship, unless she or I made it one. | |
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| WOMEN and MEN ... would you like to date deaf people??
Posted: 11/20/2005 7:09:37 PM | Absolutely I would.
Actually I dont have to learn sign language, I am already fluent. No, I am not deaf, nor are any of my family members deaf.
Close to twenty years ago, I volunteered at a deaf/blind school. The children were amazing. Part of me working with them, they taught me sign language. I then practiced on my own, bought books and with alot of everyday practice became really good at it.
Years later, I joined a dart team. There was a woman on our team who was deaf. She was delighted that I was fluent. We talk on the phone. Even tho I do not have a TDD machine, I go thru the TDD operators and they do call relay.
I have found the need to use my sign language in my every day to day life. Where I live, we have one of the best deaf schools, so there are alot of deaf people living in my community. Most of them use voice, and can communicate very well.
For those of you who want to learn sign language, it is easier than you could possibly imagine. Start with the alphabet. Most words are supported by the letters in the alphabet, and they make sense. You can do a google on it and get online dictionaries to help you teach yourself. | |
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| WOMEN and MEN ... would you like to date deaf people??
Posted: 11/20/2005 10:40:00 PM |
I have dated girls who are capable of hearing yet incapable of listening. Why not try someone who is capable of listening if she cannot hear?
That was the most profound statement, simply put! Wish I could do that...I tend to be waaay too longwinded! LOL
HarleyKat, I laughed out loud at your post...more than once....you are just too funny!! I think I just found an online friend...(if it's okay with you)
Friends it is!! :) And BTW...answered your email!
@ Linguatic...you are so right! Signed interpetations of musicals are AWESOME! I have seen Christmas pageants, school stuff, etc...but the most incredible are the rock concerts like Journey! Wow...those ASL interpreters rock! | |
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| WOMEN and MEN ... would you like to date deaf people??
Posted: 11/20/2005 10:51:52 PM | | i applaud you for bringing this question to peoples attention,i have a neice who is deaf,and am now in the process of learning more sign to communcate with her better,and yes i would date a person who is deaf because i think it would be a enjoyable experience to communicate in a different way than just words | |
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