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| Dating a Transsexual / Transgender Person
Posted: 10/27/2005 9:31:54 PM | If you feel uncomfortable then don't do it.
Why date somebody you feel nothing for. If it were a straight guy who was asking - just for sex - would you say yes without hesitation?
Don't ever feel pressured to accept things you don't feel comfortable with just because peer pressure says you have to.
We have brains and a personal sense of what we think is right and wrong and what is acceptable to us and what is not. Don't ever lose that.
If you feel it's right go for it. If not just say I'm sorry but No your not my type.
Don't we all do that everyday here when we sort and delete our mail?
Nedly | |
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| Dating a Transsexual / Transgender Person
Posted: 10/28/2005 7:20:52 AM | Sorry to be politically incorrect, but I think all this transgendered stuff is a load of bull! You may have your goods cut off and take hormones to grow breasts, whatever, but you are still the gender you were born with. Plus, if you are that f***ed up to have your body mutilated you have a serious mental problem, and pretending you are now the opposite sex from which you were born (which you are NOT!) does not fix your problem.
The whole thing is stupid. We have to call a he a "she" because their brain can't handle the sex they were born with? Tough luck! | |
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| Dating a Transsexual / Transgender Person
Posted: 10/28/2005 7:56:34 AM | well originaly i was going to post "this is sick,man just wrong" but after thinking for a while i decide "what you don't know won't hurt you".....sure go right a "head" 
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| Dating a Transsexual / Transgender Person
Posted: 10/28/2005 8:05:21 AM | | I think this person is very very confused !! Unless you are bi sexual and extremely open minded , i would not go there! sorry, too many issues to deal with! | |
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flame
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Joined: 10/10/2005
Msg: 32 | |
| Dating a Transsexual / Transgender Person
Posted: 11/8/2005 3:06:17 PM | | i have thought about going toward being a transexual.... i real love wearing womens clothing wish i could do it 24/7 but if i would be a women for the rest of my life i hope that i can find a lesbian girl to be my lover.. i love the though of going out shopping and have girls nights out.. sounds like fun | |
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| Dating a Transsexual / Transgender Person
Posted: 11/8/2005 5:01:56 PM | | Flame, you are really twisted. I think the female to male surgery involves an implant, like what is used for impotence and they try to save all the nerves for obvious reasons. | |
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| Dating a Transsexual / Transgender Person
Posted: 11/8/2005 8:15:52 PM | | Some gay guys will go a transgendered man. I doubt if any normal person would date a transgendered person. never heard of it. hear a lot of trangendered get beaten up because they pretend to be normal. | |
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| Dating a Transsexual / Transgender Person
Posted: 11/11/2005 6:39:05 PM | You know it's funny how someone who really has not done any research on the subject can pass judgment on a person inflicted with the disorder with the only knowledge coming from heresay and gossip. I have been interviewed by MANY psychiatrists and they all concluded that i was in fact transsexual. I am not confused, i know exactly who i am and where i am going. I am very much a contributor to good society and plan to keep it that way. Just because i am a transsexual does not make me screwed up in the head.
You may not even have thought of changing your sex because it never occurred to you that something was wrong. Well, i was haunted by it all through my childhood. I am not gay, i am female. I do not go out in drag dresses all the time or rub one out just because im wearing clothing of the opposite sex, this is who i am and this is how i live.
The media makes us all look like we have no clue in life or we're screwed up or something. This isn't true. I am very productive, have many friends and i have had a relationship with a heterosexual male.
And on the topic of a transsexual / transgendered person asking you out, feel flattered. We are people too, and if we find you attractive take it as a compliment. You don't have to say yes or anything, but why get upset over it? | |
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t-gurl
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Joined: 12/11/2005
Msg: 37 | |
| Dating a Transsexual / Transgender Person
Posted: 12/12/2005 11:32:19 AM | | Good for you Michelle. I'm also transgender and would love it if people would educate themselves before opening their mouths. Gender Identity and Sexual Preference are two entirely different issues. | |
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| Dating a Transsexual / Transgender Person
Posted: 12/12/2005 11:58:04 AM |
You don't have to say yes or anything, but why get upset over it?
Never said I was upset.. what I said if you read the first post was I don't understand why someone who is born male, becomes female and retains and interest in females..
Hell there are quite a number of transgender people out there who put us woman to shame.. beautiful as anything.. but why change your sex if you still Like woman.. if your transgender and like men thats a whole other story.. | |
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| Dating a Transsexual / Transgender Person
Posted: 12/12/2005 12:20:39 PM | | I think being born male, going through the process of turning into a female but still wanting a male female relationship is called wanting to have your cake and eat it! And hearing stuff like this does not reassure me as regards a work situation we have. This person was employed as a female but looks more like a man. There are times when we have to give personal care to females. It's just a weird and awkward situation for all concerned not least the people we are supposed to be providing a service for. | |
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| Dating a Transsexual / Transgender Person
Posted: 12/12/2005 12:55:08 PM |
I think being born male, going through the process of turning into a female but still wanting a male female relationship is called wanting to have your cake and eat it!
Holy intolerance Batman!
Never said I was upset.. what I said if you read the first post was I don't understand why someone who is born male, becomes female and retains and interest in females..
Reproductive organs and brain wiring have NOTHING to do with each other.
There have been numerous studies done on this. They took donor brains of transgendered people and compared them. In every instance the brains of FTM's (born female; transitioned to male) were male. The brains of MTF’s (born male; transitioned to female) were female. Male and female brains are very, very different. Your brain is what determines what you are (male or female) and your sexual preference (gay, straight, bi, asexual).
The brain and sexual organs are formed independently of each other in the womb. Being born with male genitalia does NOT make you automatically male. You are what your brain wiring says you are. This is why they no longer do sex-assignment surgery on intersexuals (formerly referred to as hermaphrodites) on infants; they wait for the child to be old enough to decide what sex they are.
Therefore, you can be MTF/FTM and identify as gay. You can be MTF/FTM and identify as straight. You can be MTF/FTM and identify as bisexual. Again, your brain wiring determines what sex you are AND what your sexual orientation is.
I was blessed to be born with a brain that matches my body and to be born straight in a world that still treats gay/bi/trangendered people as something to be ridiculed and reviled. I was also blessed to be born with a brain that hates intolerance. | |
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| Dating a Transsexual / Transgender Person
Posted: 12/12/2005 1:01:19 PM | Thanks for the info..
For me its not being intolerant..its being curious..
Because it really is hard to understand when your not in that person's shoes..
My sister is a Lesbian.. I love my sis no matter what.. I adore her partner...
but when when I was faced with the transexual making a pass at me..it just didn't make sense..
One thing is to be Intolerant without questioning another is to be Ignorant and ask a question.. | |
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| Dating a Transsexual / Transgender Person
Posted: 12/12/2005 1:11:30 PM |
For me its not being intolerant..its being curious..
Actually, that wasn't addressed to you; it was addressed to some of the other people in the thread. This isn't the first time I've seen these attitudes; the topic of transgendered people seems to come up pretty often. I apologize if you felt slighted by it; that was not my intention. | |
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| Dating a Transsexual / Transgender Person
Posted: 12/12/2005 1:14:53 PM | | No problem just wanted to clarify that its not intolerance.. Seriously.. I just don't understand..even my sister and her partner don't quite understand especially when it comes to there friend that I mentions in the OP. | |
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nurgle
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Joined: 11/22/2005
Msg: 44 | |
| Dating a Transsexual / Transgender Person
Posted: 12/12/2005 2:23:21 PM | I had a room mate of two years tell me that he wanted to be a woman, that he had always wanted to be a woman. I was shocked to say the least as he was the classical 'manly man'. Sports, hunting, silent, always showing off his strength and so on. After he told me, it was like a huge weight from his shoulders, he opened up and talked all the time and was giggly and happy. The change was truly night and day. He had hid it all his life cause of his father but now it doesn't matter he has to be who he has to be, so he can be happy and whole.
He is working on saving for his operation, but he is already taking his hormones and doing other steps that are a lil'less inexpensive. When we lived together he was always a bit odd when I had girlfriends over or went out on a date, borderline on posessive jealousy. We still talk on occassion and while she (her preference now) is a dear friend I will be very uncontrollable if approached as a romantic interest... not out of fear over her formally being a man, but the fact of I remember and know the 'him' that was and not the her she has become.
It is definitely a unique situation for anyone to be in. | |
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| Dating a Transsexual / Transgender Person
Posted: 12/12/2005 3:10:20 PM | OP - Here's my take on it -
These men are in the process of, or are already becoming women.
You like their personalities, this is just dandy.
I didn't read all the posts so I'm not sure if this has been answered or not -
Now...considering the fact that they're becoming women that means that they are women even if they weren't born that way.
If you are interested in having a romantic relationship with a woman...whether or not they used to be a man - then go for it.
If not... take the compliment and move on. | |
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| Dating a Transsexual / Transgender Person
Posted: 1/25/2006 2:58:03 AM | I'm a female with non genetic origins. I'm not a freak or a weirdo. I prefer female pronouns not male pronouns. I'm not a he/she, not a shemale, not a drag queen. I'm not something to run from. I'm not confused. I simply had differernt beginnings than most females. There is alot of ignorance surrounding this issue. It is natural for me to be who I am...and that is female.
It is ignorance and fear and sometimes hatred that stop people from wrapping their noodles around the transgender issue. I changed genders because I was simply in pain emotionally and did not identify with my birth gender. We are diagnosed patients with a treatable condition. However... there are some people who are on the male side...never plan on gender change... and those are the folks that give true transgender people a bad name.
The phenom of cross dressing, transvestism, ggrag queens and porn shemales are sub fetish groups and have nothing to do with people who are actually transgendered.
Most people who are serious enough to seek complete gender change are simply seeking congruence between inner self and outer reality.
Kim... a female... a she... a her... of non genetic origins. | |
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| Dating a Transsexual / Transgender Person
Posted: 1/25/2006 3:01:17 AM | Also there is nothing wrong with being a cross dresser or those other things I mentioned...
but people like that are not transsexual. They dress as females as recreation, relaxation or fetishist interest.
Kim... | |
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| Dating a Transsexual / Transgender Person
Posted: 1/25/2006 3:36:44 AM | To politically incorrect. What would you do with intersexed people. those unforunate few who are born with parts of each gender. some are born with one ovary and one testicle... some born with a vaginal opening and a penis. The list of combinations of physical genital birth anomolies is long. Would you round these folks up for disposal maybe? Burn them at the stake? whats your solution to people born either of both genders or with brain issues that for them make gender confusing.
Gender is not all black and white Mr. incorrect. Transgendered people have an intersexed aspect of the brain that causes a situation where the mind does not match what they see physically and so they seek to make it match. People can call it weird all they want but its just one of the many different birth differences that occur naturally.
People think its weird because they are conditioned to shun what they dont understand...to fear what they are ignorant of... and some of these fearful people lash out and translate their ignorance into hatred and violence or at least harassment of those they see as different.
I think mr incorrect would be right at home in Hitlers germany of 1939.
Transsexual people who are not born with mixed genitals have opposite gender brain issues.
Why cant people accept the fact that if physical anomolies at birth are possible...then maybe...just maybe...the brain is part of that physical picture...and it too can be out of wack with societal norms.
Open your minds and do some research instead of judging or painting gender challenged people as freaks...and weirdos.
I personally transitioned within a multinational corporation from male to female.
All my fellow employees and my employer educated themselves on the issue and helped me get through what was a very challenging journey.
Most transgender people are not confused. they know exactly what they want.
The confusion arises from being forced by society to live within a certain perameter that is socially acceptable instead of what feels right to them. I was confused when I felt it necessary to hide the fact I was female...I am not confused after the transition.
Learn before you write or speak or post on this topic. Look up gender dysphoria on google.
Its is only scary and weird to the ignorant.
It is just one more "natural" possibility that some people must face.
It is not some weird lifestyle choice made on a whim one night while chugging beers with the guys. It is an actual medically diagnosed condition. Have you got that?
I'm not weird. I'm simply different.
Apparently different is tough to swallow for some people.
Kim | |
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| Dating a Transsexual / Transgender Person
Posted: 1/25/2006 11:22:09 AM | Thank you, kisskimmy.
I've known several transgendered individuals. It is never an easy road for them. I feel for people who didn't win the genetic lottery and who have to struggle with bodies that do not match what their brain says they are. I can only imagine how difficult it must be.
I'm really glad that there are shows like "Trangeneration" on IFC and documentaries like "Middle Sexes" on HBO. Education is a wonderful thing. | |
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