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| Dating a Transsexual / Transgender Person
Posted: 2/3/2006 6:40:42 PM | Wont date one. I have no problem with people that are...whatever...gay, straight, bi, trans...whatever. people are people. i can be friends with anyone but I will only date women...that were born woman. I have no problem having a drink or a coffee with anyone else. a friend is a friend but if there is going to be something beyond friendship then for me they have to be women.  | |
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| Dating a Transsexual / Transgender Person
Posted: 2/3/2006 8:43:12 PM | Glad to see there are a couple of people that are actually very familiar with this topic. Thanks for speaking out and letting people see it from another point of view.
I live in a city that I think is very open-minded. I have had friends of all types and sexualities. To me, I say to each his own. Choose what you want. I am straight and frankly i dont care who someone else finds attractive. My gay friends accepted my straightness as I accepted them of their preference. People are not one or the other. There is a spectrum from one to the other and people are scattered across the spectrum. and this goes for physical traits too.
People are people. why do rednecks feel the need to work up energy and anger towards others they dont understand?
People are people. whatever it takes to make soomeone feel good about themselves and feel "normal" not your normal or mine. just what ever feels normal for each person. Be happy in your skin and if you need to change something then go for it.
I have found that people that are in these types of situations are understanding and accepting of the rest of us so shouldnt we be as accepting? And to those that want to bring god into it. a good god accepts us all and would wish as all to accept each other. no god preaches hate. | |
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| Dating a Transsexual / Transgender Person
Posted: 2/6/2006 11:04:37 AM | robert... you base your statement on what research exactly ?
Your opinion of what constitutes deformity, and mine, obviously differ...lol
Your opinion would be different if you had gender identity conflict.
...but since you dont you have no clue about it.
again... have you done any research at all on gender identity issues? | |
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| Dating a Transsexual / Transgender Person
Posted: 2/18/2006 1:11:27 AM | Gross me out! I guess I gross out too easy, but then when you are a man/god like me, it is easy to be grossed out by anything other than perfection. Everyday, I get up and kiss the mirror and thank God that there really is perfection in this world. I feel so lucky to be so perfect in everyway.
I could never date a transsexual or transgender person because I only would date people that are at least close to being as perfect as me. Billy | |
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| Dating a Transsexual / Transgender Person
Posted: 2/18/2006 5:53:58 AM | ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Good god man.... er... if your waiting for a perfect person like er you...
sweetie.. get a really good book cause your gonna be waiting a mightly long time. | |
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| Dating a Transsexual / Transgender Person
Posted: 2/20/2006 7:07:12 PM | Hi,
I just wonder what the sex would be like.
a "created" female couldn't be identical to a biological female.
not saying better or worse...
just different.
might be interesting  | |
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| Dating a Transsexual / Transgender Person
Posted: 2/21/2006 3:21:04 AM | I'm a male-to-female transsexual myself, and I don't see why people have to be so confused about a male-to-female wanting women. Gender and sexuality are not the same thing. So many people won't make an issue or be confused about a "genetic female" wanting another female, but when a person has there gender changed, people get all confused about that person wanting those of the sex they are becoming. As for myself, I'm pansexual (like all gender types, such as male, female, transsexual, hermaphrodite, asexual). But again I say, gender and sexuality are two seperate things.
And there are good, respectful, kind transsexuals out there. I don't go around hitting on anyone without being certain that person is interested. I'd rather have them hit on me.
Anyway...
Tchau for now!
~ Kachiri ~ | |
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| Dating a Transsexual / Transgender Person
Posted: 2/22/2006 12:11:08 AM | I personally would not have an intimate relationship with a transgendered person. Gender disphoria is, as some have said here, a documented, serious mental condition. I think it is a matter of how much a person is willing to put up with in a relationship and how honest that relationship is from the start. For example, I would not date a person who admitted to having a psychosis either. There are a lot of things to resolve in any serious relationship and throwing a mental illness into the picture would be a giant problem for most normal people, I believe.
As for the person the OP referred to, I think it is at least honourable that the individual admitted to the condition and what they desired. At least it was honest and the OP had the choice of whether to engage or not. I am thinking in terms of say I had a relationship with a person who suffered from epileptic seizures and did not tell me this. It would certainly be a shock to take this person to a nice restaurant and then be faced perhaps with the scene of them wallowing on the floor in a fit and not having a clue what was happening nor what to do.
I'd not want to find myself in a serious relationship with a person and then find out later that they were transgendered. That would be one of the most dishonest and cruel things a person could do to another and if it we me, I'd end the relationship immediatly.
Its just my opinion, but some things are of a major importance in a relationship whether we think its fair or not. Things like like race, gender, basic mental and physical health are not a matter of whats politically correct. They are basic things about a person and every person has a right to choose what sort of person they want to become involved with in an intimate relationship. Hiding things of significant importance in any relationship is bound to cause a problem.
I can just see myself, for example, sleeping with a woman and then finding out she is married and her husband is quite upset over it. I just wouldn't want major surprises like that. Would you? | |
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| Dating a Transsexual / Transgender Person
Posted: 3/21/2006 4:12:53 AM | Sure is good to see that you have calmed down. After reading this thread, what I want to know is this. Why play into the hands of those who really don't care to know? Nothing servers there cause better, then the outrage of someone to feed there fires. And in some cases it only bolsters there position.
You almost single handedly fought the transgender wars there girl. LOL.. Sometime we have to just take a deep breath and remember who you are and act like the ladies we want other to perceive us as. Smile politely and walk away. Even a polite giggle serves us better then to show our anger or outrage. Don't be mute. By no means. Educate rather then lecture or preach.
I'm also a Transsexual. Though, I'm only in the earliest part of my transition at 51 yrs. First and foremost I'm a human being with feelings and opinions. Same as anyone else. And it pains me to see anger and hatred in any form. So I have found it easier to live with myself, when I'm not in the middle of a conflict. And when you think about it, our very existence provokes such harsh opinions of us already.
I don't wish you to think I don't support you in our cause. I just did not see the need to stir up the pot with my two cents. You were doing fine on your own. However! I will gladly answer question when asked for. Given that the questions are polite, honest and pertinent to me. Nonetheless. Bravo! Bravo! I say to you and your stand.
SusanLT
Sent with only the best intent. I hope I have not offended anyone with my two cents. | |
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| Dating a Transsexual / Transgender Person
Posted: 4/3/2006 6:13:31 PM | Just as anyone else can be bi, or even gay, so can a transsexual. Who they want to go to bed with doesn't have to be the issue, the issue is what makes them feel they are the opposite gender.
Many men do like transsexuals because they might tend to be more feminine than they figure genetic women do. Some men also believe transsexuals have the male sex drive still... but that doesn't make sense because it's usually the testosterone that makes those desires... and a serious transsexual will have an elevated estrogen level.
There are also transsexuals who like the added 'status' of having a guy want sex with them, whatever sex the guy wants... just to prove something about their own femininity.
Most transsexuals go through everything, and doctors give them the medically needed aproval, because they socialise, have friendships, and function as women better than they did as men.
It's dangerous to make assumptions about all transsexuals... or all lesbians, ... or all gays... or all bisexuals.... or all swingers.... | |
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| Dating a Transsexual / Transgender Person
Posted: 4/3/2006 9:31:52 PM | I was friends with a Transexual and we even dated. We spent a lot of time together and had a ball.I see nothing wrong with dating them... I also have hung out with Lesbians. In fact I enjoyed it. I didn't have to "play the mating game" and they knew I wasn't going to hit on them so we just had fun. I dated a Bi-Sexual girl for a while...the only problem I had was she was 19 and I was 42. Man she about killed me keeping up with her... LOL Way too much energy. She got me into the Goth Scene and man, you haven't lived until you attend a Halloween Costume party at a Gay Club...
I dated a girl who later ended up with the Transexual when she decided she wanted to try the Lesbian lifestyle. I am pretty open minded... About the only thing I wouldn't do is the Gay thing... I am not into guys...
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| Dating a Transsexual / Transgender Person
Posted: 4/3/2006 10:07:47 PM | Kisskimmy....You go girl!!!
I started reading the first page of this thread and I could feel the nausea coming on.
Does anyone get up one day and say..."Yep...Today, I think I will be transexual or homosexual"... I will choose to be like this because I like being bashed, abused and hurt. That is the logic of people with no logic?
It amazes me how rude, crude and ignorant people are here in lala land and elsewhere. What malfunction do think causes some people to speak with both feet in their mouth?
So called normal people...should thank their lucky stars that God dealt them a hand that was easy...other people are given challenges that they deal with in the best ways they can. I don't think I could live one day in the body of someone who goes through these kinds of struggles...not in the society we live in. I am not sure I am strong enough.
The irony of this is people think it could not happen to them. Someday anyone on this thread might be dealing with a child or sibling or a parent going through a sexual identity situation...and since it is biological...NO ONE is exempt. Not so easy to judge when it is your blood.
I appreciate your standing up and setting the record straight!!!
takecare
susan | |
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| Dating a Transsexual / Transgender Person
Posted: 4/3/2006 10:19:58 PM | | I was married to a transgendered man for 13 years. He/She was absolutely the most beautiful, loving, sensitive person I have ever known. I will always be grateful I had that experience. Whether you choose to get involved with someone with that issue depends on many factors. I know with him there were times he/she would be very depressed and that was hard on our marriage. For me it was very difficult knowing that the things he wanted most in life I could not give him/her. Still, he/she was very good to me. He understand what women needed and tried to give it to me. The intimacy and the laughter was superior to any other relationship I have had. And had he/she lived I would give anything to be with him/her again. | |
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| Dating a Transsexual / Transgender Person
Posted: 4/6/2006 6:45:41 AM | tabekat said:
I was married to a transgendered man for 13 years. He/She was absolutely the most beautiful, loving, sensitive person I have ever known. I will always be grateful I had that experience. Whether you choose to get involved with someone with that issue depends on many factors.
And I wonder why all the beautiful women like you Tabekat, live so far away. I am touched by your post. I loved reading your profile too. Your past husband was a very lucky person.
God bless you. I am a cross dresser and know the pain and difficulty we have. I have a very clear understanding of what a transsexual has to go through. Much more then I have to deal with. My heart goes out to them. | |
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| Dating a Transsexual / Transgender Person
Posted: 4/6/2006 8:35:53 AM | personally i would never date someone like that , dont care to know people like that
call me a bigot,shallow or not informed, im not into Freak shows. | |
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| Dating a Transsexual / Transgender Person
Posted: 4/8/2006 11:43:17 AM | people with gender identity issues are NOT freaks...
They simply suffer from the least respected medical condition other than LEPEROSY !
my link was removed... how about a cut and paste...
ignorance needs an education...
What is Harry Benjamin's Syndrome?
Harry Benjamin's Syndrome (HBS) is a congenital intersex condition that develops before birth, involving the differentiation between male and female. It is believed that every 1 out of 500 is born with this condition. Therefore a girl with Harry Benjamin's Syndrome would have a female brain's sex but her genitals would appear male. The boys born under this condition have female genitalia even thought their brains are male. So far it’s impossible to diagnose this condition at the moment of birth causing the babies to be raised in the wrong gender role.
We now know that the brain is the only part of the body that can define one’s sex, therefore one's true sex is determined by the structure of the brain, and not by the genitalia. Gender identity is hard-wired in the brain and in deeper CNS structures. The main difference between Harry Benjamin's Syndrome and other intersex conditions is that there is no apparent evidence at the moment of birth making it impossible for doctors to diagnose it.
In comparison with other intersex conditions Harry Benjamin's Syndrome is twice more frequent than Klinefelter Syndrome and five times more frequent than Turner's Syndrome. It is also known to be 25 times more frequent than Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome.
Most people with Harry Benjamin's Syndrome have been diagnosed around 20 to 45 years of age. This hasn’t stopped people from having their genitalia reassigned and living a normal life afterwards. On the other hand, there are also people that have preferred not to have any surgeries and they are living happily as well But it is recommended to have this condition treated as early as possible.
The level of distress experienced by people with Harry Benjamin's Syndrome does vary from person to person. Society's gender-related expectations are far from perfectly suited to all individuals, and not everyone would find being treated as the opposite gender to be all that terrible. People's degree of concern for their own appearance and anatomy is also very variable -some couldn't care less what they had between their legs or how others percieved their gender. But it is perfectly normal, and probably much more common, for people to place a great deal of importance in both their own and other people's physical and social gender. It may be something they take for granted and hardly think about, but that is only an indication of how deeply rooted it is. People with Harry Benjamin's Syndrome almost always experience growing dissatisfaction and unhappiness with both their bodies and their social gender role until they can correct them, even to the point of suicide if they feel they have no other solution to their problem.
The pain of Harry Benjamin's Syndrome is exacerbated by society's attitude towards it. Employers, friends and especially family are often disbelieving and hostile towards people who reveal they've discovered they have Harry Benjamin Syndrome. Also, society in general does not treat people whose appearance is gender ambiguous at all well, targeting them for verbal abuse, discrimination, and sometimes violence. This is hard enough to deal with without the loss of family support and possibly employment that often accompanies it. Though the cause of Harry Benjamin's Syndrome is uncertain, and indeed there may be more than one cause, the most likely explanation is some kind of hormonal irregularity during pregnancy. But whatever the cause, it is a genuine, traumatic condition that deserves understanding and compassion.
How is Harry Benjamin's Syndrome medically treated?
Note: This site only contains a brief explanation of the different aspects related to the treatment avaliable for people living with Harry Benjamin's Syndrome. If you would like to learn more about it the following link is a great place to start: How is MtF transsexualism medically treated?
The early treatment of Harry Benjamin's Syndrome can eliminate virtually all the symptoms of the condition.
In order to properly reassign the person’s body to its proper gender the treatment will include Hormonal Replacement Therapy (HRT) and Genital Reconstructive Surgery (GRS).
To this day this Syndrome is mostly known as transsexualism, this creates a problem in properly diagnosing and treating people living with this condition. The word transsexualism is usually linked to men wanting to be women or seen as a mental disorder. We still can find doctors referring to this Syndrome as Transsexualism. It may seem like the medical community is ignoring the most recent research about the brain and its relationship with gender. This is caused for the still-remaining use of words like transsexualism and others.
The medical community of today is perfectly prepared to successfully treat Harry Benjamin's Syndrome, but is still lacking of quality diagnosis caused by the lack of information updates about this condition leaving doctors stuck with the myths of the past.
A personal suggestion concerning doctors is that you should not believe everything they say, because they may not have up to date information. I recommend listening to the doctors, (since they know how the human body works) but don’t assume they can’t make mistakes; after all they are only human.
It is advisable to visit an endocrinologist and give him or her up to date information about Harry Benjamin's Syndrome, this way you will be opening the door to receive more objective treatment.
A psychological follow up is very useful for a proper diagnosis of this condition and its physical treatment afterwards can correct it completely.
In most cases, it’s impossible to give a diagnosis before late infancy or pre-adolescence, although countries like the Netherlands are very advanced in diagnosing and treating this syndrome. Thanks to the hard work of Cohen-Kettenis, people living in the Netherlands are able to start the treatment before puberty.
In Spain, although there are specialists in many communities, only the Andalucia's Hospital can offer complete treatment of this condition. It’s always a good idea to consult the local GLBTIQ group.
It’s important to remind that Harry Benjamin's Syndrome is a physiological condition and not psychiatric, even though the help of a psychologist can be very useful to the patient, especially for the young ones. The treatment of this condition includes HRT and GRS. You should always start by visiting an endocrinologist and a surgeon first. | |
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| Dating a Transsexual / Transgender Person
Posted: 4/8/2006 11:58:21 AM | | when I originally posted this I didn't mean it to turn into a bashing post.. I was seriously curious.. but thank you to all who have enlighten me.. now I understand better what a transgender person goes through.. so thanks to those where where brave enought to come here and be open about who they are. | |
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