| Dating a Transsexual / Transgender Person
Posted: 5/6/2006 6:13:28 PM | Pretty varied replies.
One of the things that really bugs me about this damn site is all the bigots/closedminded/fear driven/hate mongers.
Whether your trans, gay, lesbian, intersex, bisexual or all or none of the above it is reality whether all you jerk-bigots accept it or not.
Variety is the spice of life and natures way - is diversity.
I guess ignorance is all around and even plenty of fish see's perhaps more than usual.
Give someone a computer with internet and see how ignorant they can be.
with that said.
All those trans women (did not read about any FtM's) kudos for braving the hetersexist storm of this site. Perhaps we should call it PLENTY OF HETEROSEXIST/IGNORAMACES?
LGBTI rights are the next civil rights movement and all the power to them.
Go check out intersex and educate yourself.
http://www.isna.org/
http://www.xyxo.org/isgi/index.html
http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/gender/spectrum.html
Sitting online and being ignorant of reality is no longer a good excuse.
With millions of websites to educate yourselves/ourselves.
Embrace diversity and reject stereotypes~!
Thanks for reading.
From a total supporter of the LGBTI community
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| Dating a Transsexual / Transgender Person
Posted: 5/6/2006 7:44:06 PM | One of my dearest friends is an FtM and is probably the most amazing person I have ever met in my life, he has had one heck of a journey and the changes have been outstanding. I can not imagine growing up feeling like I just did not belong in the body I was born in, he was miserable and wanted to die on a regular basis...think about that for a second to all of you that have chosen to bash these awsome people.
He has taught me so much and has never hesitated for a second to answer any questions I ever had and is more of a man than most bio men I have ever known and some of you haters could stand to learn from these brave, wonderful human beings.
It takes all kinds to make this wonderful world we live in work and I very openly support anyone that is transgendered, transsexual, be it Ftm or MtF, hold your heads high and take on the world with a smile. You are great people and there is so much the rest of us can learn from you all...kudos to you all :) | |
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| Dating a Transsexual / Transgender Person
Posted: 5/7/2006 9:55:36 AM | Funny how a failure to fawn over someone else's problem gets you branded a bigot. And if you question the research, then you're really in for it. Stats are stats, and if you know how they're amassed, you'd be pretty darn suspicious of them, too.
Do the research? Yes, I agree. Do the research and you'll see (among other things) that a lot of homosexuality is psychological. Read some accounts of ex-gays and you'll see what I mean. But hey, that's just me being hateful, I suppose.
*rolling my eyes*
Every year it's a new dysfunction; every year is a new group deprived of their civil liberties; every year someone new is the enemy; every year it's another battle for power and public funding.
~Aurora | |
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| Dating a Transsexual / Transgender Person
Posted: 5/9/2006 10:15:52 PM | Aurora...
Every year...people who are different from the majority gain a little courage to face the world as who they are , rather than what society in general would like them to be.
Every year... people who were brainwashed as children to behave like sheep come out of the herd and express thier freedom from thought controlling nutjobs.
Every year... minorities,who in the past were supressed and closeted by the fear and hatred expressed by judgemental control freaks(that being 90 % general societal heterocentrists).
Every year another heterosexual couple produces another Gay, Lesbian Transgendered or intersexed child. ...who has to summon the courage to tell said hetero parents who they think or feel they are... and are scared shitless to do so.
I'm sorry that I m a member of a minority... I am is SUCH a burden to society....
geesh... pulling in a 6 figure income and paying 40 grand intaxes last year...
Yes minorities are or can be deprived of civil liberties...
in fact... a few transgendered people get murdered every year...
by people rolling their eyes and pulling triggers !
When you grow up and have children... and one of them tells you he or she is transgendered... or different in some way... that does not fit comfy in your noodle...maybe you will stop rolling your eyes.... and open your heart to that child and to people of difference in general.
people who are in a supressed minority do not ask for much...
equality is all.... safety is all. acceptance is all !!!
kim | |
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| Dating a Transsexual / Transgender Person
Posted: 5/9/2006 10:26:14 PM | Isobaric... being transgendered is not amental illness. It is a physical and psychological condition that is treatable. The mental illness comes into play when a person who is transgendered, hides and supresses this fact due to fear... which then can manifest into many other mental problems. those who face who they are, are normally quite stable and functional in society. In fact many transgendered people are highly educated and come from every walk of life.
kim | |
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| Dating a Transsexual / Transgender Person
Posted: 5/10/2006 10:45:12 AM |
Isobaric... being transgendered is not amental illness. It is a physical and psychological condition that is treatable. The mental illness comes into play when a person who is transgendered, hides and supresses this fact due to fear... which then can manifest into many other mental problems. those who face who they are, are normally quite stable and functional in society. In fact many transgendered people are highly educated and come from every walk of life.
kim
Bravo to you kisskimmy! Your last two posts were on target and so full of reality. Some people are just not ever going to accept what they perceive as a choice gays and transgendered people are faced with. It is NOT a choice!
I am one that is not gay or transsexual. I am yet another minority. I am blessed or cursed with being a cross dresser. Big difference from those that feel they are in fact a female in a man's body. I happen to love both sides of my gender. I am a man that loves to express my female side for whatever reason it is. Early childhood conditioning, hormones, chromosomes or whatever drives or compels us CD's to do what we do. Many of us have committed suicide for not being able to "fit in" or not accept ourselves. So have many gays and transsexuals. Sad fact. So if the bigots out there think it is a choice we have, then they are narrow-minded, and uneducated on a very real small segment of our population. I wonder if they feel the same way about those born with one leg or arm. Deformed in some way. They just don't get it and never will. They are small people with little regard for their fellow man.
Kisskimmy, you are a rare gem in my book. Thank you for speaking up.
BTW, I am not gay. I am hetero for those that like to label and pigeon hole all of us that are different. | |
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| Dating a Transsexual / Transgender Person
Posted: 5/10/2006 5:19:19 PM | | this transsexual was standing with his ( her) friend on the corner of a busy street at lunch hour. The most beautiful woman walked by. She(he) was stunned . After she (he) got together, she (he) said, next lifetime, I want to be a lesbian. | |
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| Dating a Transsexual / Transgender Person
Posted: 5/10/2006 6:28:35 PM | I’ve read threads all over this site that protest the condemnation of the person’s point of view.
Younger women that just don’t want to be with older men, they just aren’t attracted.
Men who just aren’t attracted to bbw’s
Bbw’s who just hate the fact that some men wont respond to them.
Transgenders who resent the “small minded” men who wont accept them for who they are Today.
You wont date a transgender? We supporters of “diversity” will get teddy kennedy, renowned infidel and rapist to hold hands with bill Clinton, puncher of women he just raped, to legislate double taxation upon you!
The diversity police have been called, they’re coming for you, how dare you have a preference that doesn’t include those you would never choose!
You delete us because you are a homophobe, you have no right to feel the way you feel, we, the diverse, adjudicate against you.
We justify our sentence of censure against you by citing examples of skinheads punching the gentle soft members of NAMBLA; fine taxpaying members of society they are, by some welfare white trash no account who assaults them for carrying out their beliefs, seducing your ten year old, but you, homophobe, with your small mind, resist this beautiful thing of having your ten year old contract aids because you have your own small minded plans for his future.
Variety is the spice of life and natures way - is diversity.
Ah, what a flowery generic piece of fluff.
The “Spice of Life”
If I don’t agree to older men seducing children, by cosmictami’s definition, I am a
jerk-bigots if I resent contacting in good faith a woman I think interesting, though she was born a male, and she/he ‘forgets to mention that’ and so denies me the right to make an informed decision, I should plead guilty to the thought police in cosmictami’s bitter world and subject myself to the penalties she ( I think she is a she) deems appropriate.
Sitting online and being ignorant of reality is no longer a good excuse.
With millions of websites to educate yourselves/ourselves.
Embrace diversity and reject stereotypes~! {/quote]
this “spice of life” advocate, cosmictami, paobably never sat with her bother as the last breath came from his mouth, last words telling me “I love you brother” mine reassuring him to his last day I never cared he was gay, always thought of him as my older brother, and best friend while I smelled and heard the sights and sounds of a body when it gives up its owner spiritually and its contents physically.
I never disapproved of his life. I just never subscribed to it or the lifestyle that seems to have killed literally millions of people. Enteire populations in Africa reduced by 90%.
Obviously, Im sitting online and being ignorant of reality. | |
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| Dating a Transsexual / Transgender Person
Posted: 6/23/2006 3:26:33 AM |
I think all men should ask women if they are a natural born woman, I have no problem being asked this question. Since men changing into women have surgical made vaginas.
Yeah, I'll make a point of doing that on my very next date. 
To trick and decive is fraud.
No it's not. It's only fraud if you make money from it. Otherwise all your polaticans would be in jail.
If I were a man and a woman tricked me with his surgical made vagina, I would sue the person.
Hmm, well I doubt you will get far. What is it with Americans and suing anyway? Broaden your mind a little eh.
Gender disphoria is, as some have said here, a documented, serious mental condition.
A long time ago there was this great documented and well belived science called "Phrenology" which proposed that a person's mental make up could be determined by bumps on their head. It was widely used to "prove" that Africans, Australian Aboriginies and many other 'primative' raves were dumbasses and could never have the intelligence of "white man". Yep, fancy that, scientists got it all wrong. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phrenology I like to think of psycologists that still think that was as simply having transgenderphobia and hiding their fear and dislike of transgendered people by incorrectly trying to blame some one else for the shrink's fears and insecuraties. Thankfully less shrinks are thinking that way these days.
Further back in history some silly people used to belive the Earth was flat. If you suggested it was not, they'd burn you at the stake for it. I like to think of the narrow minded people who belive that gender is a simple open and sht case much like that. You know, dim witted and stuck in the dark ages. Sorry if people take that as an insult, but well it's Karma for all the nasty thoughts some of you have about transgendered people. I used to try being polite about that but well, they don't try to be so I just gave up.
Okay, I'm not transexual. I'm a hermaphrodite. Or if you must use it, Intersexed. I was born with 47XXY genes and some of the reproductive organs of both male and female. I was raised initally as a girl, and later as a boy. I don't particularly identify as either male or female. I am not at all happy that society tends to insist that I do identify as one or the other. Pisses me off in fact.
So, for all those silly people who think that gender is something that depends on what peice of equipment you were born with, explain me away. It should be rather amusing I'm sure.
Kissamy, you rock!  | |
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| Dating a Transsexual / Transgender Person
Posted: 6/23/2006 9:41:50 AM | GOLLY! I feel so blessed after reading all these posts! I'm a flaming heterosexual, with standard female genitalia, and I thank my stars!
I read and see a lot of stuff on TV about these issues, and as more is discovered scientifically, it turns out a lot of genetic deviations or accidents are to blame for these types of people being born.
The master plan is our two genders, so we can breed and multiply, two arms, two legs, one mouth, etc., anything else is just an unfortunate accident of genetic combinations that don't fit into a standard category. Conjoined twins, Downes syndrome, many rare genetic diseases, diabetes, scoliosis, cycle cell anemia, cleft palate, are all due to genes.
I personally believe that homosexuality is a very common form of genetic "mal"function, because all gay men, whether in a San Francisco, the Sudan, Arabia, China, Brazil or India all exibit almost identical "feminine" characteristics and mannerisms. It's definitly not a "lifestyle" or "choice". It's a function of our society whether we accept them wholeheartedly or not. In certain African tribes, gay men are assigned women's chores, stay in the village when the other men go out to hunt, and are called "auntie brothers". They are not ostracised, but embraced. The tribe finds a place for them to fit in.
Just because there are many people who suffer from these calamities doesn't mean we should either accept or reject, it is what it is. Sometimes it's really sad, sometimes, it's really hilarious, often, it doesn't matter one way or the other. Either way, we need to decide what's best for ourselves.
I would not want to go out with a trans-gender post-op "man", because it just would not be the same.
A penis is a beautiful thing to behold, and a surgically created one just would not be the same. Sometimes, you really cannot improve on Mother Nature.
But I feel the same about all the surgically created "breasts" in Hollywood, too. I guess I'm a purist. | |
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| Dating a Transsexual / Transgender Person
Posted: 6/23/2006 9:59:53 AM | | I have a girlfriend who had a relationship with a woman who use to be a man. It confused the hell out of me. I have two gay cousins and I'm not against any kind of sexuality but that threw me. She/he was a very beautiful woman and no one would have been the wiser..but then I saw pictures of her/him as a man and to be honest I cried..he was so handsome as a man. Like man of my dreams kind of man. I can't even pretend to know what these people are thinking...could I have a relationship with someone of a transgender? I don't know..they'd have to be super special and touch me somewhere deep down. I really like men and the whole package. (litterally speaking). | |
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| Dating a Transsexual / Transgender Person
Posted: 6/30/2006 4:15:58 AM | dear John(ny),
I hope you have kids one day... and I hope they are born intersexed.
best of luck in the biological lottery ...
did you learn the word freak or did it come naturally to you ?
kim... aka (kisskimmy, aka inconspicuos aka inconspicous2)...
have to change ID's on here so much do to harassment...its ridiculous....lol | |
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| Dating a Transsexual / Transgender Person
Posted: 6/30/2006 4:23:58 AM | oops...spell check... that's "due" not "do"...
I guess we transsexuals are stupid some times...lol
over and out... inconspicuos, aka kisskimmy, aka inconspicuos2... and so on...lol
gotta play musical ID's on this site to stay one step ahead of the red neck freak patrol. | |
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| Dating a Transsexual / Transgender Person
Posted: 6/30/2006 2:30:28 PM | I love transgendered guys, they are soooooo fun. I've dated 2, they were both straight males, not interested in surgery, both very beautiful as females and fully functional successful males with well rounded lives and personalities. The fact of the matter is, most crossdressers are straight, they want to be women, but still love women and want to date women and have relationships with women. I would not however date one who had been on hormones or had the surgery, as I like normal sex. But a straight male crossdresser, the best of both worlds, feminine beauty with a penis, yipee!  I think dating transgendered men is a great option for bi females. I personally find women attractive, but not enough attraction to date one or have a relationship with one...the pms mood swings scare me...so a straight male crossdresser is a good option if you like females and males and can't decide :P | |
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| Dating a Transsexual / Transgender Person
Posted: 7/2/2006 3:04:46 AM | crossdressers... and transsexuals... like night and day...
Nothing against crossdressers... know quite a few...
but crossdressing is a whole different issue... a sexual issue... and at times a fetish issue.
When a person actually changes gender physically... it is about gender...it is not about sex.
I was perfectly functional physically as a male... have two grown children...
but bottom line...I was living a lie... my life wasd lived only for others perceptions of what I should be... and thats no life.
No amount of love, no amount of denial or lies will keep someone who is truly transsexual
from becoming who they think and feel they are in essence.
Bottom line...I could not be one of these part time females....aka a crossdresser
...then there are those full time non-operative transsexuals...
I could sit here and explain that one too... but it would take another few paragraphs...
Kim | |
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| Dating a Transsexual / Transgender Person
Posted: 7/2/2006 3:11:06 AM | Dacainaru,
I really appreciate your kind compliment ! (not that I believe it... lol)
Especially when some folks on here have contacted me just to call me a sick freak...the kindness of others really helps to balance out the bumps in the road !
hugs back at you...
and again....THANKS !!!!
Kim | |
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| Dating a Transsexual / Transgender Person
Posted: 7/15/2006 12:23:05 PM | Sexual orientation and gender are two entirely different matters. Sexual orientation is who you are attracted to and gender is which of the two sexes you are.
It does not matter what body you have or whether you ever actually go through with any of the steps to get an operation -- your self image, your identity, and many other factors often associated with the opposite sex comprise how you see yourself.
Just as there are women who are born in a female body who are attracted to women -- lesbians -- there are 'women' who are born in a man's body who are attracted to women.
Because of financial costs, the pressures of how one is raised as a child, how society views transgendered people etc. there are many who will settle into a somewhat in between role.
If I met someone who was transgendered and who actually wanted me for me I could see myself being very happy.
Why? That's nobody's business but my own. | |
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| Dating a Transsexual / Transgender Person
Posted: 4/24/2007 6:24:03 PM | to "johnnygage"...
As a "normal" post op transgendered female...I would not date an ignorant bigot... such as yerself.
Not without you first completing a diverse anti bigot rehab course in sexual anomloies of course...lol
To each their own I suppose...
In my opinion, it's people like you, who label and judge, that underline the need for educating children at an early age about the real medical conditions surrounding gender.
Otherwise, those children grow up like you, learning the wrong things about those who are different. Instead of understanding that these condition occur now and then naturally, they absorb only the negativity of peers. ..or other mis-information from prejudiced sources.
When you are ignorant ...you tend to fear what you dont understand. It then becomes easy to say "freak"... especially if it means defending your own masculinity.
It's not easy to support and accept different sexualities or gender anomolies if you are constantly worried about what your fellow bigots might think of you. If you are constantly having to run from your own fear of difference it is SO much easier just to turn around and yell FREAK !... than it is to educate yourself.
At some point in your life. Some one you love will come to you with a confession.
this loved one will tell you they are gay.... or maybe transgendered... or lesbian... or whatever... choose a difference you detest. At that point in your life you will reassess your view of "different" people.
Until then you will muddle through life in a fog of bigotry.
Best of luck navigating those waters.
Kim | |
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hasco
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Joined: 4/27/2007
Msg: 124 | |
| Dating a Transsexual / Transgender Person
Posted: 5/5/2007 9:23:24 AM | My view on the issues posted here is this: You don date him. secondly it is immorally insane to change into some thing beyond the ordinary and this is what he has done to himself in the first place. This person life as you can see it , it is nothing more than total confusion and comdem. this is why he did a change.
The bottom line if your religious I say run and go pray. God is watching from a distance..... One great roman general once said this : the evil that a man does liveth after them the good is often inter with their bones, so let it be with ceasur" | |
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