| | Ladies 37 and upPage 9 of 9 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9) |
It isn't one v. the other. They're both in the growing process. (Msg 191)
What I was getting at was I have heard people say, "I left my partner. I grew and they didn't."
I grew. It's the implication behind those words when someone uses them as an excuse for ending a relationship. Grow is a nice word. Children grow. Flowers grow. When a person says they grew and their partner didn't it implies they did something good and their partner didn't when, in many cases, grew simply means they changed their mind about things.
Referring to my example (Msg 190) if both demonstrating is growing and not demonstrating is growing, then it's only a matter of changing one's mind.
Let's say a couple is composed of two 40 year olds. The kids have grown and the woman wants to sell the 5-bedroom suburban home, move to a city condo, return to university and re-enter the working world (not to imply she didn't work raising the children. I had to say that!).
Her husband is a lawyer or successful businessman. He's done very well and is tired of the rat race. He wants to sell the house and buy some land in the country. Eat eggs from free range chickens, breath fresh air, the whole get-back-to-nature deal. Maybe supplement his income picking up the odd research job from his old law firm or running for town Mayor. Both may say they grew but all they've done is make a choice to do something different. By leaving their partner and saying they grew and their partner didn't it's a put down for the partner and an attempted justification for their own selfishness.
It's just a pet peeve I have.  | |
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| Ladies 37 and up
Posted: 11/23/2005 4:28:16 PM | Semantics. We talk semantics. Here's a real life situation for you. Couple married thirteen years. Spend first ten partying, I MEAN partying. Both okay with for ten years (okay on and off again.) Wife starts taking night classes, interviews and obtains better, and better jobs. Husband keeps 'partying'. Wife becomes pregnant. Wants husband to begin taking a more mature 'role' in relationship as he is soon to become a father. Husband continues to 'party'. Wife continues going to school and moving into higher professional levels. Husband continues to 'party.' Wife has child. Doesn't want child anywhere near 'party' scene husband is involved in. Wife files for divorce. Leaves husband to 'party'. Takes child. Husband decides he doesn't want to 'party' anymore; wants to have wife and child back. Wife says too late, "I've 'grown' and you (husband) have not." Wife grew. Husband didn't.
And it's called the Peter Pan Syndrome - and wife left Peter. Or wife made choice to leave Peter. It's semantics.
Just a Pet Peeve I have. | |
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| Ladies 37 and up
Posted: 11/23/2005 4:40:22 PM |
Sex is a must and i strongly beleive the older we get the bolder we get. (Msg 200)
Hopefully, the older we get the more mature we look at it. It is a natural, human activity. It is not something people use us for anymore than saying we were used to play a game of tennis and the person never called again.
They used me as a dining partner. They used me as a movie-going companion.
Healthy adults are supposed to enjoy sex. If two people enjoyed dinner or a movie and no long term relationship resulted no one would say they were used for dinner or a movie.
There's nothing wrong with a healthy adult wanting sex. Not wanting it is an aberration. | |
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| Ladies 37 and up
Posted: 11/23/2005 4:41:12 PM | I think you could go to any forum which consists of males & females and hear all these same old same old bullshit statements/arguments.
Shit like this reminds me how fortunate I am that I'm laid back about "finding" someone, etc.
I live alone and am not lonely and don't give a damn about it.
I see a couple of women with whom I share some common interests and activities such as golf, fishing, dinner, conversation and respect.
This place seems to have more than its share of desperate people of both genders.
Some of you actually do have some good things to say about life and others are evidence that I come to places like this for entertainment.
OK, now I'll expect some in-coming. | |
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| Ladies 37 and up
Posted: 11/23/2005 5:06:03 PM | You looking for a mortar round or an A-Bomb?
Funniest looking cat I've seen in a long time. | |
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| Ladies 37 and up
Posted: 11/23/2005 5:51:04 PM | Geeze, Loba! I spend one day actually doing my work and I come back to find you threatening to lob bombs!!
@dave1234
I think your example is one of 'we grew in different directions' rather than 'I grew, he didn't'. Sometimes people do that. | |
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| Ladies 37 and up
Posted: 11/23/2005 6:30:40 PM | Rainbow, I know what you mean. I have been talking and chatting and have actually scared a few off becuase they live close enough we could meet but when I said it had to be on my home territory, I was accused of being a pyscho,lol. Some are married one swears he isnt, if he isn't married than he was lying about something a woman answered his phone! I just refuse to give up and let the ash holes win! There are nice men out there I know I am friends with them and their wives,lol. So yes I get discouraged and then I think I am better off I found out before my heart was involved. But guess what, no one promised life would be easy. Sure I miss intimacy and having a man hold me all thru the night but am I going to lower my standards? Hell-o, No and neither should you! Just learn to read, laugh and delete. Open a new thread if you need to vent and I will cheer you on So you fall down once in a while, get up off your seat and brush off and call a gf and go out on the town for a bit. Strut your stuff and be proud of all you are, which fromthe pictures is a beautiful and funny and smart woman!!! Cheers to never giving up! | |
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| Ladies 37 and up
Posted: 2/22/2006 5:41:52 PM | | Here Here... manner. I am in the minority with ya. | |
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| Ladies 37 and up
Posted: 2/22/2006 5:58:26 PM | Healthy adults are supposed to enjoy sex. If two people enjoyed dinner or a movie and no long term relationship resulted no one would say they were used for dinner or a movie.
Totally agree with you Dave | |
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| Ladies 37 and up
Posted: 2/22/2006 6:31:26 PM | Im 37 and had been using Internet dating ( Australian ) for about 5 years as I work from home alone ( ie meet no new people ) and all my friends were married with familys ( dont go out at all anymore to singles venues ). So I had no option and It seemed a good Idea when I joined. Now I am classed as above average looking ( some say beautiful I wont go that far ) and have my own Business - House bla bla - ie supposedly a good catch. HOWEVER on all those years of net dating - and being always In the top 100 for the most popular on the sites and having TONS of contact and 62 dates - I met no one serious. Most Im the first to admit I had no Interest In upon meeting - however the sad fact Is even I did they are just out to play the field and add numbers to their spread sheets. I went through what everyone else does - tons of bad dates to finally find one compatible with all the connections ect to get excited think finally this nightmare payed off .. to find you were being played.
This goes for a large number of the women too so Im NOT being sexist. Seems many of the women try to find the richest guy who owns the most - ie always trying to upgrade - and the men just want to ride each pony on the merrygoround. I heard many men In the same situation thinking they were seeing her then finding out she was seeing 10 at once ect. So It goes both ways.
However the moral of the story Is I remained single all that time ( the one relationship I did have I met at a pub on my first event outing In 2 yrs ). And all the men I first met on there 5 yrs ago - and many of the women I remember seeing profiles of ... are still there. NO ONES got off. The few I spoke with who got relationships off it - none have lasted - 3 of the guys ( 2 living with their gfs they met on It ) are still on there secretly looking to upgrade without her knowledge. Its an addiction of delusion to them. and by the time they realise this their life has passed them by and they've lost the best years. Ive never been single for more than a yr In my Life ( and that was by choice ) before the net - the net gave me the entire time single - but not happy single - bad date - played - bla bla single. Yes I know It can work for some - but do the sums on It - It didnt work for tons more than the one that claims It did. And please look at their storys too , you can see some on these threads " I found my man lucky me wow wow party party .. yes he wants us to see others for fun .. no sex no that he's still looking no way he loves me " Yer right  Some need a god dose of reality to wake them up I think.
Girls ( men even ) the bottom line of this Is please - time Is precious you cant replace 37 - 40 or any other years above or beyond .. dont reli purely on net dating you probably wont like the end results of It, or hear of many who have. If you have no one to go out with .. see If you can team up off here and get out In the real world to meet people. People who dont think a life Is a delusion chatting to strangers behind a keyboard. Use this as a sml part of your dating options not the only one. | |
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