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| Would you leave him if he didn't go down on you?
Posted: 10/30/2005 8:31:05 PM |
But to leave someone simply because they won't perform oral, well I guess that shows where your priorities lay (not that I am saying there is anything wrong with it), just that recieving oral sex isn't important to everybody. Myself included.
yeah, it does show where priorities lay (and I think correctly it should be "lie" not lay)... because to some people, myself included, a satisfying sex life IS a priority. I've been in relationships with satisfying sex and in a relationship where it wasn't.... when the sex wasn't satisfying, the relationship was rocky, bitter, resentful and it was because of the sex life.
So if it's not a priority for you, that's fine... but it insinuate that for people who think sex is important are less than you... is both erronous and insulting. | |
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| Would you leave him if he didn't go down on you?
Posted: 10/31/2005 1:28:14 AM | he obviously has fantasies that were communicated over the phone, so he isn't a total missionary sex failure. i think most people have fantasies they think will be laughed at or even thought repulsive, his are just much more common at the moment. he doesn't sound selfish, it just sounds like his ex-wife was made of junk mail and gaffer tape. you just need to decide if you want to invest the time and effort in him to let it all come out in person.
otherwise you do need to leave for your own needs and emotional/sexual wellbeing. | |
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7times
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Joined: 10/27/2005
Msg: 55 | |
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| Would you leave him if he didn't go down on you?
Posted: 10/31/2005 5:31:51 AM | | Why not take the time to teach him it might be well worth the time spent. The experience of teaching him can be made into a very sensual experiment. Try trading him something that he really wants for what you really want and communicate, spell it out for him don't take for granted he understands. If all that fails trade him in for someone that gets pleasure from giving you pleasure. | |
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spry
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Joined: 9/16/2005
Msg: 57 | |
| Would you leave him if he didn't go down on you?
Posted: 10/31/2005 8:16:41 AM | My Gosh Girl,
It seems you may have a sensual virgin on your hands; what did you do, just say eat me. If you really care about this show him; do something special for him that you know he loves and will appreciate;
then get creative:
Stretch some good strong plastic or rubber sheeting on your bed; from your local hardware store; then sensually cover him in sweet fresh virgin olive oil and ask him to do the same to you; get on the bed and slip-slide all over each other and ask him how it feels (ask him to explain what it feels like to him) all over his body as you touch and sensually slip-slide away.
If that doesn't work, next time:
Hide all the sugar, honey, caramel, and chocolate syrup in the house (hopefully he like sweets) and when he wants some, tell him when and where to find it.
As a last resort, get him to shave you down there; slowly, and carefully; don't get mad when he starts shaking. Believe me, this is a surefire way for any man to get turned on severely, and he should do a caring, loving satisfying job where he could becomet intensly attached to what he is so meticulously caring about.
A sensual virgin; you are so lucky if you are smart about it; by now he knows he is not satisfying too much; and if he cares he will pich-up fast and learn but you've got to be creative to get his interest if bluntness does not work.
And for goodness sake laugh about it all and maybe show him some of the forum posts; yeah right, why hide them or pretend to be someone your not because you are looking for help in understanding and relating, are you not? he should be afforded the same answers and information that you have; if you care about him.
Anyone that says dump him right away is more into sex than anything else; in my opinion.
spry | |
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| Would you leave him if he didn't go down on you?
Posted: 10/31/2005 9:18:14 AM | | Maybe the guy just hasn't had enough experience and needs to be taught. Besides the not going down on you thing...it sounds like he is bad at just about everything in bed, but maybe he doesn't know that he is bad at it. You may have to literally give him instructions. If this guy is as wonderful as you say he is in every other area, I would certainly give it time and see if you can tell him how it should be done. Or show him....if he doesn't know how to "finger" you properly, I would suggest masterbating in front of him, and show him how it should be done. Who knows, maybe the going down on you will come in time. | |
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| Would you leave him if he didn't go down on you?
Posted: 10/31/2005 9:50:13 AM |
Why can't girls just admit they want sex? Why do they always have to play games and pretend it is a relationship they are after? I couldn't tell you how many girls I have "dated" only to have them come over, screw me over and over and leave, complaining all I want is sex. lol, I swear... women can't admit it to themselves, they have to play games.
does this help?.....I want sex....& I want a relationship.....I want a good relationship with good sex.....is this so hard to phathom? | |
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| Would you leave him if he didn't go down on you?
Posted: 10/31/2005 9:57:28 AM | I would have a heart to heart....find out if he has had experience at it. He may just need some proper coaching. Sit and watch some porn together (girl on girl would be best in this situation). Tell him the parts that you really enjoy.....he may learn a lot just by watching. But, if he isnt willing to try, kick his butt to the curb. For, most men should be aware that that IS the way MOST women climax. Its just plain selfish of him if he doesnt consider expanding his horizons. A man that luvs to please a women is a man worth keeping.
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spry
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Joined: 9/16/2005
Msg: 67 | |
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| Would you leave him if he didn't go down on you?
Posted: 11/1/2005 9:21:44 AM | ZINFAN,
HE REALLY NEEDS TO REALIZE THAT THE GOING DOWN WILL GIVE HIM A BETTER CHANCE AT SOME REALLY REALLY WILD SEX...CAUSE I HAVE FOUND THAT WHEN I GO DOWN ON A WOMEN SHE GETS REALLY LOOSE AND REALLY RELAXED, AND THE SEXXXX IS SOOOOOO MUCH MORE FUN, AND WILD, AND SOOO MUCH MORE EROTIC.
JUST AN OBSERVATION, COULD IT BE THAT HE IS WORRIED THAT HE WILL CUM CUASE OF THE MOANING COMING FROM YOU... CAUSE I MEAN THAT CAN HAPPEN (IT HAPPEN TO ME THE FIRST TIME I WENT DOWN, BUT I STILL KEPT GOING). | |
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| Would you leave him if he didn't go down on you?
Posted: 11/1/2005 9:24:53 AM | | heck yea going down on a women for me is liek putting on cloths, its clockwork and i got the tounge ring so it makes my down time much better for me and her. So i would say going down on a girl is the most importtant. | |
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| Would you leave him if he didn't go down on you?
Posted: 11/1/2005 5:20:57 PM | | Teach him?! I did try for 23 years to get my ex to go down on me--early in our marriage he did once for about a minute and was hawking and gagging like a cat with a hairball. He never tried it again---but he had to have B J' s !!! I finally got the nerve to leave--and yes the non-sex for 15 of the 23 was a factor. So you might say I am "trading" him in--hopefully I can find a good guy who knows how to and is more than willing to give oral sex as he is to receive. I've been told I have missed out on years of pleasure--and I feel it. I did have aold friend do it to me one time--to see what it was like--and it was so good I really got wet all over!! | |
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| Would you leave him if he didn't go down on you?
Posted: 11/5/2005 9:14:51 PM |
...but if your like the majority of women who can only get off on clitoral stimulation (and fingers and hands only do so much boys!) you might need to reconsider your relationship.
I don't know if you're aware of this but there's another way.
(copied from an online article)
Female Ejaculation
How It Works:
Actually, to be more accurate, the fluid comes squirting out of her urethra. Don’t let this gross you out, though; it’s not pee! Female cum is a clear, odorless liquid produced by a small organ called the “female prostate,” or urethral sponge, which is located between the urethra and vagina. The fluid it produces just happens to come out of the pee hole, but...so does guys’ semen, right?
While some women may experience ejaculation naturally in the course of intercourse or other sex play, most require some concentrated stimulation of the G-spot. Massaging the G-spot causes the urethral sponge to become engorged with fluid, which is then expelled during orgasm. And, as with an orgasm, ejaculation also requires the woman to “let go.” Before ejaculating, the woman will feel as though she is going to pee. However, it is nearly impossible for her to urinate while coming, because the muscular contractions of orgasm close off the bladder and prevent the passage of urine.
Use Your Hands:
The most reliable way to induce female ejaculation is by manual stimulation. Lay a towel on the bed before you begin (the amount of fluid released can be considerable). Make sure your hands are clean and your nails well trimmed. Get into a comfortable position between her legs, as achieving ejaculation can take half an hour or more. Use lube if necessary to get started or in case she starts to feel dry.
Find the G-Spot:
Begin by stroking or licking her clit to get her aroused. Once she begins to get turned on, insert two fingers, palm side up, into her vagina. About an inch to two inches inside the vaginal entrance, you should feel a round, roughened area on the front wall. This is the G-spot. Stroke against this area using firm pressure. It should enlarge and begin to feel more solid. Try touching or licking her clit as you manipulate the G-spot. Follow her responses and pace yourself to prolong her period of arousal; the more time she’s aroused, the more juice is building up in there.
The Urge to Urinate:
As she gets closer to coming, she will start to feel as though she has to urinate. That’s the cum beginning to flow into her urethra. In order for her ejaculate, she has to relax, let go, and push down and out with the same muscles she would use as if she were peeing. It may be hard to overcome the impulse to hold back, but you can reassure her, again, that if she is coming, she will not pee.
Instead, as she comes and pushes the fluid out, she should feel extra intense orgasmic pleasure, and you should be rewarded with a spurt of nectar that may range from gentle gush to a drenching spray.
Hints and Tips:
Attaining female ejaculation may take some practice and experimentation. You may find it easier to stimulate her G-spot if she gets on her hands and knees and you enter her from behind, pressing down on the G-spot instead of up. For more information and demonstrations, you can also check out Fanny Fatale’s video “How to Female Ejaculate,” which features women masturbating to ejaculation. As a woman gets more familiar with ejaculation and the sensations associated with it, it should be easier for her to achieve.
I apologize to all of you old-fashioned people out there that may be offended by my post but it's the truth. I'd just like to note that there have been reports of this form of female orgasm being achieved in under a minute. So, as you can see, clittoral stimulation isn't necessarily the most effective method. It is more like a preliminary, a buffer. | |
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| Would you leave him if he didn't go down on you?
Posted: 11/5/2005 10:02:56 PM | I have a guy friend who says..... "Show me a man who doesn't go down on his wife/woman/girlfriend ....and I'll show you a home/relationship I can wreck"...kinda cheeky...but funny...sorta...
OT: yeah..it's a non-negotiable thing...and ya really gotta like it and do it like ya mean it..otherwise it's just no good... | |
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