| Would you date a married Person !!!
Posted: 11/3/2005 7:37:31 AM | @ guapisimo
whatever you may think to read into Dr. md Psychology .... you are so off base but not here for that ...and guess what yes i am proud to have headbanging as an occupation .. just proofs the point of your statement all metal fans are jobless ... hahaha
back to subject at hands | |
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| Would you date a married Person !!!
Posted: 11/3/2005 7:39:13 AM | Did the wife tell YOU that she has no interest in him? Or did he report that little "fact"? If she gave you her blessing, IN PERSON, the next step is for you to figure out what YOU want from a relationship with him. Are you relieved at the idea that he won't want to move in with you? Do you just want an occasional roll in the hay? Do you want emotional nurturing from him?
I have actually met couples who were married but platonic and actually happy for a spouse to date outside the marriage. HOWEVER, most such cases have some real emotional issues and drama going on behind the scenes and the spouse is not capable of giving sane emotional support to the girl/boy friend. It always ended in tears and lots of sturm und drang.
Best of luck to all involved. | |
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| Would you date a married Person !!!
Posted: 11/3/2005 7:40:16 AM | Well I guess you can call it a job??? As long as it pays the bills!
I am sorry about your experience with your X! | |
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| Would you date a married Person !!!
Posted: 11/3/2005 7:45:12 AM |
Did the wife tell YOU that she has no interest in him? Or did he report that little "fact"? If she gave you her blessing, IN PERSON, the next step is for you to figure out what YOU want from a relationship with him. Are you relieved at the idea that he won't want to move in with you? Do you just want an occasional roll in the hay? Do you want emotional nurturing from him?
Boah thats Questions i have no answers to as i still digest the way she told me herself in my face all calm and cold like, what she thought of him, why she is staying and how she cared less what he did whom he did and so on. In his presence was right out degrading, it took all for me not to spit at her and s.hitslap her .
She basically told me that she planed her meeting him her marrying him for the plus side of life if you get my thrift, she told me he was fool enough to believe she loved him.
All i do is sit here and think how he can stand it ... we are just talking and i have not made a step into the affair really ... digesting that venom is a hard thing to do ... | |
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| Would you date a married Person !!!
Posted: 11/3/2005 7:48:16 AM | @guapisimo- actually i dont bang head for a living i manage bands and accompany them on tour, its a tough business and it pays some of the bills, to make my standard i work two extra jobs just figured i let you in on it ...
and my ex ... i am a firm believer what goes around comes around ...
soulless | |
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| Would you date a married Person !!!
Posted: 11/3/2005 8:01:18 AM | lol was it german ... i think it was humans ... cause if we look around here different nations abut same trials and hardship ... but got your point from a german to a german ...
good luck to you
soulless | |
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| Would you date a married Person !!!
Posted: 11/3/2005 8:15:33 AM | Yah, see, that's the sort of drama I was talking about. Now the question becomes, why is he staying with her? And are you going to become his emotional "caretaker" when he stays in what is effectively an abusive marriage? There is no right or wrong answer on that...it comes down to what is going to be best for YOU if he is beyond "rescuing".
The ONLY "marriage of convenience" I know of where everybody was sane, level-headed, etc. was one in which they had started to amicably split (both agreeing that they made better friends than lovers) and then discovered that she had a treatable cancer. They postponed separation and divorce so she would still have insurance coverage and someone living with her to help out as caretaker during chemo. They've since moved on, divorced, split up the household goods, found other romantic relationships, but remain good friends. | |
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| Would you date a married Person !!!
Posted: 11/3/2005 8:20:23 AM |
Yah, see, that's the sort of drama I was talking about. Now the question becomes, why is he staying with her? And are you going to become his emotional "caretaker" when he stays in what is effectively an abusive marriage? There is no right or wrong answer on that...it comes down to what is going to be best for YOU if he is beyond "rescuing". -
i dont know no clue ... i mean i have no ties yet and no i dont want to be the emotional caretaker ... have enough on my plate ... right now its kinad what if and what dont, and will he decide ... in the end i cant do nothing the decision is his /hers ... i dont want to be pushy and tell him what to do ... so i am standing back and just listen for right now ... and thats gonna be it ... mind you he would be worth rescueing if we wanna call it that way ... but i am not prone to do so ... I am at a lost ... time will tell ..maybe he even will drop the thought ... dont know
soulless | |
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| Would you date a married Person !!!
Posted: 11/3/2005 9:10:54 AM | WHAT A CONTROVERSIAL FORUM!!! And the posts seem to run the gamut as funny, sad, morally reprehensible, hypocritical, and brutally honest. A pair of my favorites come from "pazarben" and "everywomanshero." As for my own response (?) ... I guess that would depend upon what it was that I was seeking. If I were looking for any sort of substantive, "long-term" relationship, then certainly not. If on the other hand, I were solely in "climax-directed" mode, it is admittedly (though shamefully) possible that I might permit myself to be persuaded to be a little, uh, ... "less morally stringent."
I respectfully disagree with fellow fish, "ekkobeach," in that I believe that by engaging in such lewd and licentious behavior, both she and I would be equally culpable adulterers. At the end of the analysis, I'd have to say that the "short" answer is, if I were both attracted to her and feeling a bit randy in intent, I'd shag her rotten!!! | |
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| Would you date a married Person !!!
Posted: 11/3/2005 9:16:20 AM | Had a married guy try to convince me once that getting involved with 'a married man' was safer than someone single. How so? was posed. Response 1) wouldn't have to worry about STDs; 2) wouldn't have to worry about becoming emotionally involved; and 3) they are more honest (?).
My response
1) if you'll fool around on your wife why would you be safe from STDs?
2) How does being married keep emotions from coming into play?
3) Honest? Really?????
Straight answer - Dumb thing to do on many levels - just my opinion of course. | |
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| Would you date a married Person !!!
Posted: 11/3/2005 9:58:08 AM | | NO NO NO, :) but a friend of mine once dated a guy, than she found out he was engaged, long story short, she dumped his ass. :) | |
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| Would you date a married Person !!!
Posted: 11/3/2005 10:00:35 AM | Never, ever, EVER would I date a married person.
There's no way I'd ever be a mans wh*re....the one he runs to for sex, but doesn't want a respectful relationship with me.
*uck that noise! | |
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| Would you date a married Person !!!
Posted: 11/3/2005 10:28:10 AM | | hmmm open pandoras box kinda thing .... really mindtwisting ... i am taking a break from the whole situation and step back and look on ... better safer saner ... hahahaha not that i am sane anyways | |
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| Would you date a married Person !!!
Posted: 11/4/2005 3:33:20 AM | why worry why i asked ... free world ... and opinions are plenty if you read on you see we settled them differences ...
soulless | |
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| Would you date a married Person !!!
Posted: 12/12/2005 9:09:19 PM | nope.
'cause i want someone who is emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually open to me~
as i would want to be for them.
any person still involved is well, still involved...
how confusing and frustrating is THAT?
too confusing and painful, as far as i'm concerned.
really, isn't there is enough in life to be naturally confused and/or frustrated about;
why knowingly complicate things for any of the individuals involved?
even in cases of extreme anger or thinking every stone unturned in trying to work things out
sometimes isn't as it appears. two conflicted people in a marraige; thats a hell of a lot of emotional, mental and spiritual warfare going on, times two.
this is an interesting post; reading others ideas and perceptions,
causing me to reflect on past situations and decisions i have been faced with.
i remember years ago; attempting a reconcilliation with my then spouse after a 3 year separation. i'd left him to save my own self and had never even allowed myself to think of our getting back together. at the time, he seemed to feel and think the same; but as we were still both very hurt we weren't really honestly communicating throughout that three years except through our separate attorneys. he'd even been living with another woman for over a year when very suddenly he called me to ask about how the divorce was proceeding on my end. i responded by asking him to contact his attorney for that information; i wasn't up for another arguement with him.
when out of the blue he asked me a very simple question, was i happy?
i was startled and stopped to really think about it, and no, i actually wasn't, and admitted so. i couldn't foresee what he asked next, "what the hell are we doing this for?"
we'd only seen each other four times in three years and he explained it hurt him to see me because he still loved me and it hurt him to even just see me, physically.
then he asked me to please reconsider my leaving him and think of our getting back together.
this, after that long apart and even divorce proceedings had been ongoing.
my curiosity got the best of me. i decided to call the other woman to see what had been going on with them, for him to ask me these things at that point.
when i spoke to her; she broke down, fell apart and cried her heart out to me. through her tears she apologised; she told me she knew it was wrong to get involved with him because he was still a married man; living in separate states, even stated she knew he still loved me, and that it was clear to her that he always would. i will never ever forget the pain i heard in that poor woman's broken words and tears. she told me if i had any love at all for this man that she knew in her heart that he and i belonged together & owed it to one another to work things out in our marriage.
while our reconcilliation involved me leaving a great job and travelling overseas to be with him
it was not to be, and that time together lasted three and a half months. when i made the decision to leave him again, it wasn't an easy one.
relationships can be more than complex; and people may want, expect or demand different things and ideals. we're all adult here enough to know that even the best of relationships can take work, and some still fail though no fault of the other, or no matter how much time, effort or care is taken by both.
we must all make and decide our own choices; and live with them too.
just last month my ex of eight years asked me to fly to the east coast and meet with him because he wanted to
"see and talk" with me, and he was flying in for work from europe where he now lives.
i had to decline; as he is a re-married man now and while he states he isn't happy;
he belongs to another. it's that simple. to have met him would only complicate hers, mine, and his lives. and to what end?!
i cannot be the other woman.
i will not be the other.
i can and will only be me.
i expect nothing but the honesty, integrity and respect i give another;
i don't want or need anything less, for myself and any man i choose to be with. | |
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Phresh
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Joined: 7/28/2005
Msg: 70 | |
| Would you date a married Person !!!
Posted: 12/12/2005 9:18:38 PM | | if the person were getting divorced soon.. yes, altho thats backfired on me quite a couple times. if they just weren't satisfied in they're relationship.. no. | |
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| Would you date a married Person !!!
Posted: 12/12/2005 9:29:42 PM | o.k. so which one of you YESs is 'dating' my husband?
the 10 kids miss their daddy!
there's no food in zee cupboards.
they've shut off the power, we've got no heat, it's freezing!
the dog has died.
lil suzy is inconsolable
i've taken to the drink
the gun is loaded
have MERCY   | |
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| Would you date a married Person !!!
Posted: 12/13/2005 8:41:03 PM | | No da*n way!! What for? To listen to the "hell on earth" life the are supposedly living with their married partner? If they did leave their partner for you...however slim that chance may be....can you, with certaintly, say that they would never do that exact same thing to you...in the future? I highly doubt it. | |
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