| Why do women like Jerks
Posted: 6/23/2008 11:58:36 AM | | I was talking about the difference between women thinking that guys are completely lead around by their members and don't have the slightest romantic or tender thoughts in their heads . I was comparing that idea to the times in my life that I did follow my member. I was suggesting that it isn't quite as simple as thinking with the little head right from the start. There could be romance and tenderness and affection at first, even when the situation was more of a physical attraction, but at some point the litte head takes over and that's usually when I end up seeing the wrong person. I'm saying there is a subtle difference between mindlessly following you sexual impulses and having romantic, affectionate feelings that give way to mindlessly following your impulses. Although both ways lead to poor decision making . I just don't think it's fair to say that guys blindly follow their little heads, when it may not start out that way. I think many women are guilty of making the same mistake at times. They are very physically attracted to a man. There is romance, but it's mostly a physical attraction, then they try to build a relationship out of that and it doesn't work. No, I never tell women I want to bang them, but the few times in my life when I wasn't looking for a relationship, I always made that clear to a woman before I did anything with her. I have made love to women and I have banged women. I think people who claim never to have done both are basically full of it or they are fooling themselves. At least I'm honest about it. | |
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| Why do women like Jerks
Posted: 6/23/2008 1:26:54 PM |
Because they taste good with some fava beans and a nice Chianti?
I haz a flavor!  | |
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| Why do women like Jerks
Posted: 6/23/2008 3:18:17 PM | | It's not that women like "jerks". It's just that women like men who are in control of their environment. Unfortunately, neither the women nor the men who end up demonstrating this phenomenon know how true control is supposed to manifest. The men don't realize that you don't have to be a jerk to be in control. If anything, the jerk is demonstrating a clear lack of control but many women just don't get it. They mistakenly see it as otherwise. Which makes them idiots by all definitions. You can be a totally easy to get along with person and still be in control. But that takes smarts-- an apparently rare level of smarts. | |
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| Why do women like Jerks
Posted: 6/23/2008 8:08:33 PM | | I don't think it is a control issue. I think men that are players give off a sense of confidence. I think women as a whole are attracted to a man who is confident. I think as a player builds his "little black book", he gets more and more confident. Women are attracted to someone who is strong, and can handle himself. So the confident player comes off as a person who you think you can depend on-strong and can handle any situation. Unfortunately, women too, have to be confident enough in themselves to say, I want to get to know you better, before jumping in the sack with a basic stranger no matter how handsome, sexy and smooth he comes across. Women need to exercise their own self control. Honestly, a real good guy, will want to get to know you too. There will always be players, women just need to recognize "the game". A real "Mr. Right" isn't the guy that wants to get laid, and then maybe take time to get to know you!Somehow we all know this, but when the sparks get flying, its hard to believe that a man would contrive real interest just to score! | |
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| Why do women like Jerks
Posted: 6/23/2008 9:03:04 PM | It's really quite simple. A "jerk," by definition, doesn't need or necessarily want your approval. So he doesn't put any pressure on you. Without the need factor and the pressure that goes with it, you can afford to relax and have fun. So you relax and have fun and think it's great until you realize that he really doesn't need or want your approval. Take him as he is or leave him.
Meanwhile the guys who value your opinion and approval feel like a burden and so you drop them before they can tax your patience--even though in the long run they'd work a lot harder to keep your respect and love. | |
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| Why do women like Jerks
Posted: 7/4/2008 10:09:39 AM | I'am just wondering what are they thinking, because I dont understand. Most of my friends fathers arent around, they were jerks as was my own father. Most girls/women are unwed single mothers, why, because the dudes were jerks. Women are going to have sons who are jerks or daughters who'll get involved with jerks. This cycle will never end unless women learn from the mistakes of others.
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I can only speak for myself, I still don't understand why I Like/liked bad boys.
I will try to expalin...
Well the sex has been outstanding for one but I guess a good boy can do that too
I had a complicated childhood; parental figures were bad role models in a bad relationship always fighting ‘til wee hours of the morn.
I found myself looking for comfort and love anywhere and everywhere. Not knowing what love was I turned to "bad boys"...yeah?
What did I get out of it...a fantasy
They gave me a temporary fix, filled a void, momentary need for a false completion Now I know better and I am ready to give in return | |
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| Why do women like Jerks
Posted: 8/19/2008 3:56:46 PM | I'm still curious as to your interpretation of a Jerk? I wouldn't refer to Scott Peterson as a Jerk. He is a convicted murderer, womanizer, adulterer who couldn't plan his way out of a wet suit. Most Jerks would give anyone the shirt off their backs as friends thats why we all keep them around. I don't consider myself a jerk but what I do know is that women are smart they like to play both sides of every coin. Let's just say the greatest thing about Jerks is that they are easy to get rid of and will always return when you need them the most. Nothing Wagered nothing gained.
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| Why do women create & make Jerks
Posted: 8/19/2008 7:09:33 PM | A. If women had an ok relationship with their DAD's who were jerks the girls end up with someone like their DAD's that the girls can change... OR want to try & change...
C. If women didn't need companionship as much as the man does this would never happen....(men would have to realize why they want the relationship in the first place.......
Men need women just as much as women do - So men get tricked & women get tricked into believing that a loving relationship starts out by being physical so fast...(as that is the main attraction that drives us)...
(HOW I know is some of the PROS use SKIN & or Semi-Nakid! photos to entice & or trap the eyes & then to a nice smooth phone conversation... INTO a nice relationship that lasts about 1 to 6 months & then your hooked...2 to 7 years & bust? - Hope not! IMHO)
The other half is that after the relationship has begun... Time to wear pajamas all the time for some women... & the dudes don't need wear that many clothes when around the house...
(This would lead to a bit of laziness & Jerk like behavior - because you may act like you dress)...
-Where did "B" go...? ^ "B" - went to see where the "eer" went......
Agree with jj408 - Be happy with yourself - !
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| Why do women like Jerks
Posted: 8/19/2008 9:58:56 PM | There's probably a variety of reasons why many (NOT ALL) women get hooked up with a jerk. Here's my list:
1. Low self esteem - they don't feel they deserve better.
2. For the same reason some people buy 10,000 piece puzzles. They're a challenge.
3. The misguided ones are convinced that, with some good lovin', they can "fix" the jerk and mold him into an acceptable form. LOL. Right. Like that ever worked out.
4. They're so desperate for attention, the jerkiness is something they're willing to overlook.
5. Many women don't really have a clue what they want.
6. "He wasn't a jerk when I met him". I don't buy that for a nanosecond. A jerk is a jerk is a jerk. They simply may have chosen to ignore the signs that were there all the time.
7. Women who don't really want commitment (although they'll swear up and down that they do) will be frightened to death of a really good guy because it's s**t or get off the pot time. That's scary for them. So instead of going for the guy they "say" they want, they go for the jerk instead. It's safer because deep down inside, they DO know it'll never work so they're off the hook. They'll have a built in excuse. Kind of self defeating but it is what it is.
There are probably many more but those are the ones that come to mind. I see and have heard those stories over and over to the point it's tiresome. I have a lot of sympathy for those who do it once and get burned, but, a second time? A third time? Don't bother me. I don't want to hear it. Wisdom is learning from your mistakes.
I went to high school with a guy who was 1/3 of a singing group who wound up recording a lot of "stuff" when he was a senior in high school. He wasn't exceptionally "handsome" in the Robert Redford sense. He was more of the Italian Stallion rugged type. He had a two year old Corvette. All the girls in school were always on him like white on rice. He was, in the campus parlance of the day, a BMOC (big man on campos). Not particularly bright but an ok guy.
Women would literally beg to come over on the weekend and wash and wax his car, clean his laundry or whatever else he could think of and, in response, he treated them like crap. It was sickening. I once asked him "hey (name omitted), what's your secret of success with the ladies"? His answer: "treat the queens like whores and the whores like queens". It was kind of a flip response but I knew he meant it. Who knows. Maybe he was right.
It wasn't a philosophy I could possibly adopt for myself (then or now) but it sure worked for him. I guess in the final analysis, good guys finish last, but they do finish. | |
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| Why do women like Jerks
Posted: 8/19/2008 10:07:05 PM | All that cynicism can also be applied to men who run away from good women and gravitate toward the "hotties" for the same damn reasons.
Some of us have seen the exact same behavior out of many, many men (particularly #7), to the point that it's tiresome and beyond, but we take it all in stride as it's part of the flippin' game. Jerks -- and cowards/those who make their decisions based on fear -- come in all packages and wear many masks.
I believe Smart People finish first, regardless of anyone's self-applied label of "nice" or "good", or their gender. | |
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| Why do women like Jerks
Posted: 8/19/2008 11:02:41 PM | | Don't misundertand me. I never said the same exact phenomena doesn't apply the other way around. I was addressing the OP. | |
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| Why do women like Jerks
Posted: 8/20/2008 8:11:12 AM | 
Working for a major "BIG BOX FOOD STORE" - We have over 300 people in our building & there are only a few folks that are married that are just content & happy about life -
What some women find cute & funny in the beginning of a relationship becomes stupid & annoying later on...
One of the girls that knew had a boyfriend of 3 years. I see her crying one day & ask is she okay? She tell me that her boyfriend was "her first love" & that he's been going to the "movies" with another girl... In this day & age he may be making a "movie" about his exploits & wants a way out of the relationship... Fast forward 3 months... They are buying a house together...!!!! Yeah! there is some real crazy girls that think they can change the "Jerks" into ...WHAT?
The girls that want & help reinforce a Jerks behavior really do get what they wanted in the first place... Some reasons to complain & whine & moan about how life sucks... & 10 years go by - they don't look so hot any more from all the failed Jerks they tried to change & are NOW wanting to "SETTLE DOWN"... ( this story seems to be common among women & men but more so from women at my old place of work )...
Just frustrates me to see it going on & to hear it everyday constant stupidity-- Definition of INSANITY is doing the same thing over & over again BUT expecting different Results...!
----------------------Why complain when you can learn & move on....?
BUT NOOOO- year after year same complaints... INSANE! & DUMB & CRAP & NUTS & CRAZY etc...
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| Why do women like Jerks
Posted: 8/20/2008 2:17:03 PM | I think they fall for jerks because they are desperate to want a man. I personally like the bad boy type mixed with the educated type. The bad boy type whose street smart and a go getter the educated type who know how to take care of business when its time to get things done without u having to ask. Put those two together u have something. Not necessary a jerk but a 50cent, puffy daddy, jay z, and nelly type.   personally if a men or women take a jerk who belittle them they have a problem as well as the jerk.  | |
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