| Why do women like Jerks
Posted: 10/9/2006 3:18:15 PM | i have to say that nice guys don't get ignored first. i am glad that you are masculine and nice.. that is ultimately what women are looking for.
i picked my husband because i thought he was the ultimate nice guy. he was quiet, semi- mild mannered and cute. That is why I specifically picked him and he ended up being the ultimate in cruel and nasty.
so now i am looking for the tough and masculine in hopes that they will actually be gentle and kind.
so i would say sometimes women who are generally looking for a nice guy can get used and deceived. what do you think about that? | |
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| Why do women like Jerks
Posted: 10/9/2006 3:33:33 PM | | The issue of deception is an interesting one. Of course, naivete or inexperience can account for some of it. But is it truly a matter of being utterly deceived by a man, or is it more a case of choosing to ignore the signs? Of course, to a certain extent we act on faith when we enter into a relationship, and since no one is perfect, we have to be willing to accept some character flaws. The real question I think one should ask oneself is why we choose to ignore some and not others. | |
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occali
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Joined: 10/5/2006
Msg: 105 | |
| Why do women like Jerks
Posted: 10/9/2006 3:52:46 PM | Women like men who have confidence, not men who are push overs. That is what it is all about. (period)
Just like men like women who are "****es" not women who are unmodivated beings who have no personality or mind of their own.
Not that I am being a "B", but I was with a guy who was way too woosey and it really annoyed me. But, if I do compare him to my ex, who was a total wife beater, then I would take the woose, anytime.
It would be nice to have a happy medium. | |
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occali
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Joined: 10/5/2006
Msg: 106 | |
| Why do women like Jerks
Posted: 10/9/2006 3:54:11 PM | P.s...
Some really big guys are actually really nice, to make up for their appearance of being a bully complex. They are the ones who are actually really sweet hearts... a diamond in the rough. | |
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| Why do women like Jerks
Posted: 10/9/2006 6:01:30 PM | women do not have the tools to adequately decide on who is best for her. Society demands women to make good decisions on mate-choosing else we have a crappy society as we have now.
Sex and all it entails and the management of money is 2/3 of what we deal with daily and yet our educational system is pushing the typical school stuff. I was a scientist among many other professions and I can tell you I could train any bright 16 year old to work as a scientist...so that dispels just how much schooling is necessary...we need to get the youngest ages to think so they'll be intelligent and be able to perform well in anything they choose to do and not base what they are simply on knowledge (get the HR personnel to figure this one out). This may seem sidetracking, but there is a point and that is we do not need so much regular schooling in the typical subjects to flourish later in life, but we DO NEED constant awareness throughout childhood about the management of money and sex/relationships.
If it was hammered into little girls minds that a guy with a Harley does not mean he's a good choice based on that ownership of his, that a guy who smokes or does drugs or any other act that seems exciting or of a guy who talks back to parents or teachers or picks on others is definitely not a good choice, then MAYBE there'd be a chance for future generations. Moms do not do enough to correct and steer young girls.
Guys could do whatever they want, but women have control over what they ALLOW men to be/behave and so if women love bad guys, guys will want to be bad. If girls wanted men to walk on their hands, MEN WOULD!
I've tutored HUNDREDS of women who were divorced with kids. These women were older and were returning to school after their divorce. They had a similar choice in men when young: SUPERFICIAL...no real trait in what is conducive to a relationship (looks would be a reasonable but incomplete factor) such as the guy happened to be on the school football team, the guy was her source for cigarettes or pot, he just happened to be tall (yeah, make your insinuations as i am short, but I am saying this as it is not a good reason to be with someone...it is immaterial to most aspects of a relationship except that appearance may be PARTLY, and only partly related to height from a woman's point of view...it just so happens that it's overly scrutinized generally speaking), or the guy was simply an ass in some way from geting into trouble.
YOU CANNOT discount the many women here who proclaimed that they went for jerks when younger. These women at least admit to what is true. Some few women never went for that type, or maybe they wanted that type but didn't actually play around much with the idea as perhaps when they got close to them, it appeared ugly and opted to stay away.
I contended from an early age from all my experiences that it takes till age 40 or a divorce or two upon which time women really want a truly nice guy. Nice does not mean wimpy or indecisive or overly catering as some would like to think...nice means incorporating the woman into the decison making process in the relationship as a courtesy, it means KEEPING APPOINTMENTS and not making women wait by being late...nice means being able to keep the woman on their mind when they are away and make some contact through communication to let them know they are loved. Women, when they finally become aware of right in wrong in guys will want what they did not have before...they were confused from NOT putting much time in thinking, and especially when younger (while they shoudl really be doing school wrok and not having sex). Unfortunately, the guys who are so often passed up have to decide whether to ACCEPT a woman after she had all her fun times and letting a man put his seed in her for him to now be responsible for some other guy's actions (along with hers). It puts decent guys in a bad spot, but many will come to the rescue anyways!!! Yeah, some bad guys will do the same, BUT WATCH OUT FOR HIM BEING WITH YOUR 8 year old DAUGHTER!!!!! I AM SERIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SOME GUYS HAVE NO SHAME!
As far as at LEAST one woman proclaiming that the bad guys are acting nice in disguise....if only you knew how to spot them...wish I could give you some insight into it...but i'll let you learn on your own. It should be very clear when you are dealing with an utmost honest guy. Women should not be accepting any less than greatness in a man IN THE CHARACTERISTICS THAT ARE MOST crucial in a relationship, and not based on his ability to throw money around in buying her $5 drinks. Someday you women will learn, and I proposed early on here that school courses be geared to help you (and guys out, on a different aspect). 2/3 of life is about sex and money management and so to have even just 1/3 of school devoted to these topics SHOULD be insisted if we are ever to make the changes to improve our sociological ills.
I don't want to go on else it'll turn into a book for someone to sell. LOL | |
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| Why do women like Jerks
Posted: 10/9/2006 7:25:58 PM | | in response to message #101....wayyyyyyyyyyyyyy of.................just sounds like the dude was an #^*hole | |
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| about nice guys someone sent me this in an email
Posted: 11/22/2006 2:53:29 AM | I got this from a friend on email kinda harsh but not really my viewpoint
Im sorry....
Body: "to all the girls who look past the nice guys!"
Body: I'm sorry
that i bought you roses
to tell you that i like you
I'm sorry
That I was raised with respect
not to sleep with you when you were drunk
I'm sorry
That my body's not ripped enough
to "satisfy" your wants
I'm sorry
that I open your car door,
and pull out your chair like I was raised
I'm sorry
That I'm not cute enough
to be "your guy"
I'm sorry
That I am actually nice;
not an ***hole
I'm sorry
I don't have a huge bank account
to buy you expensive things
I'm sorry
I like to spend quality nights at home
cuddling with you, instead of at a club
I'm sorry
I would rather make love to you then just f**k you
like some random guy.
I'm sorry
That I am always the one you need to talk to,
but never good enough to date
I'm sorry
That I always held your hair back when you threw up,and didn't get mad at you for puking in my car,
but when we went out you went home with another guy
I'm sorry
That I am there to pick you up at 4am when your new man hit you and dropped you off in the middle of nowhere,
but not good enough to listen to me when I need a friend
I'm sorry
If I start not being there, and being used as a door mat, only to be thrown to the side when the new ***hole comes around
I'm sorry
If I don't answer my phone anymore when you call, to listen to you cry for hours, instead of getting a couple hours of sleep before work
I'm sorry that you can't realize.. I've been the one all along.
I'm sorry
If you read this and know somebody like this
but don't care But most of all
I'm sorry
For not being sorry anymore
I'm sorry
That you can't accept me for who I am
I'm sorry
I cant ever do anything right, and nothing that I do is good
enough to make it in your world.
I'm sorry
I caught your bf with another girl and told you about it, I thought that was what friends were for...
I'm sorry
That I told you I loved you and actually meant it.
I'm sorry
That I talked to you for nine hours on Thanksgiving when your bf was threatening you instead of spending time with my family.
I'm Sorry..
That i cared
I'm sorry
that I listen to you at night talk about how you wish you could have done something different.
Ladies always **** and **** to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with ***holes who mistreat them. Well ladies next time you're ****ing, maybe look up to see who you're ****ing to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?"
Because the person you are usually searching for is right by you. | |
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| Why do women like Jerks
Posted: 11/22/2006 10:27:00 AM | | My nephew and I were just asking the same thing. We see so many great women falling for these total a$$ holes and get beat, cheated on and treated like crap and they still go back for more yet here I am a 'nice guy' and can't get a date. What is wrong here? Do we have to act like creeps just to get a woman interested in us? Should I go up to a pretty woman and say, "hey slut! You and me Friday night we're hooking up." If it has to come to that just to get a date I guess I will be alone the rest of my life cause that's not my nature. I was taught to treat women better than that and show them respect. Where are the women that truly want a 'nice guy'? | |
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| Why do women like Jerks
Posted: 11/22/2006 1:00:01 PM | JERK = Confident, happy with one's self, independant that's not afraid to remove names from his dance card.
Sorry brothers, but I've got to say it. The "Single New Age Guy" (SNAG) stuff isn't cutting it. Self emasculating, over sensitive sniveling and groveling doesn't constitute foreplay. Boys, lift your skirts, grab a pair and figure it out instead of sniveling about what a nice guy you are like the garden variety sissy-boy. Stand up and pee already. Men that act like this are pathetically weak and THAT is why they don't "get the girl". What woman will want a man that has MORE estrogen than she does?
The sissy boys either need to man up or resign themselves to who they are and tie a noose around thier peckers, jump off the world and begone already! | |
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| Why do women like Jerks
Posted: 11/22/2006 1:36:06 PM | | unfortunately there are too many morons who think being a jerk exudes self confidence, but to be honest it doesnt..anyone can be an A-hole, and anyone can come on here and kiss the womans A$$ By putting down guys who are nice. there are alot of internet bads$$es who play this game | |
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| Why do women like Jerks
Posted: 11/22/2006 1:49:27 PM |
unfortunately there are too many morons who think being a jerk exudes self confidence, but to be honest it doesnt..anyone can be an A-hole, and anyone can come on here and kiss the womans A$$ By putting down guys who are nice. there are alot of internet bads$$es who play this game
True on both counts, but the guys that play up the victim, emasculate themselves, those that become appologists for the male gender make my teeth itch. They either in all honesty hate their own gender or hey are selling out in hope of getting their lil pickles wet.
The "jerks" I can deal with, you can spot 'em a goodly distance away (everytime I look in the mirror ;) ) and people know where they stand with 'em. An A-hole is an A-hole 7 days a week. As far as the internet badasses, The modem warriors of the BBS days havn't changed much, they arn't hard to spot either. | |
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| Why do women like Jerks
Posted: 11/22/2006 5:46:34 PM | Why do women like Jerks
I try to  from Jerks if I'm aware of them, But most women are in the Dark and learns later on in the Relationship she has a Jerk for an Old Man or visa versa.
Beaware of the (JERKS LOL) | |
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| Why do women like Jerks
Posted: 11/22/2006 6:05:27 PM | | That's just the way it is, but it take's a jerk to spot a jerk. There really is little math or rocket science involved. Most men are jerks because someone else thinks they are, here is where the math comes in, how many times have you seen him being a jerk, then tally up the number of times you were one, the highest number answer is the biger jerk. Forget the rocket science, you did well enough on the math don't mess with rocket science, it's way over your head. | |
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| Why do women like Jerks
Posted: 11/22/2006 6:06:48 PM | | notice how women NEVEr answer this question? they say well we learn later that the jerks are no good( this is common sense), but never say "this is why we like them" they try to say they dont like em, but they do | |
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| Why do women like Jerks
Posted: 11/22/2006 6:19:29 PM | | Just a word or two on deception. I can only speak from my own experience, Women are so much better at it than men will ever be. I never thought about pulling a fast one on anyone, but after a few being pulled on me, It's not hard to avoid them, you know where all the garden paths are and there are only a few ways you could be led down them. | |
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| Why do women like Jerks
Posted: 11/22/2006 6:25:11 PM | | absolutely right yoohootie, and guys if you want to see what shes tlaking about...do what ive done. get together with a buddy, go to different places to meet women, take turns being the sweet funny guy, and the OBVIOUS right from the start A-hole, do this ad different bars, get togethers, whatever. Youll see which gets more numbers. The worse you treat em, the more numbers you will get. So far it has worked 100 percent of the time. | |
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| Why do women like Jerks
Posted: 11/22/2006 7:08:12 PM | so i would say sometimes women who are generally looking for a nice guy can get used and deceived. what do you think about that?
id say they are only saying that NOW...to convince themselves they didnt know he was an A hole, but they did | |
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| Why do women like Jerks
Posted: 11/22/2006 8:37:33 PM | | hey irish lad, your the first person ive heard say that I thought I was the only one. When Im nice no one likes me when im mean no one likes me so we are both living proof i guess, maybe these people on this site interpet the word jerk diffrently than we do. Anyways drink up my man later! | |
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| about nice guys someone sent me this in an email
Posted: 11/22/2006 9:29:44 PM | samo1960 That is an excellent poem!  Men nor Women should be taken for granted! There are many nice men/women out there waiting for mr or miss right and hopefully to find that they will find their true soulmate and be happy forever...The jerks need to realize that they are becoming a dying breed to older women and that we dont look at whats on the outside its whats on the inside that counts most  Hopefully the younger women learn from the perspective of us older ones that JERKS dont work...if they find one DUMP HIM right away as he will only get worse as time goes on! Yes I do know from experience...the bad boy's seem kewl and all but...they arent bad in a good way, they are just plain out BAD! Just a lil of my own opinion.
VaL | |
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| about nice guys someone sent me this in an email
Posted: 11/22/2006 9:48:28 PM | Heres another theory that I've proven to be fact with a little practical research.
Some women believe they can actually get the bad boy to calm down. Change. El reVerso. Cambio. Presto, look at the bull turned bunny, ma. Okay. Now I've seen lion tamers at work and this is a very interesting trick, but changing a male? Another human being? Again I say get Ripley's and start recording as soon as you get on site.
I've had conversations with women and have overheard women saying "I think I can lock him down", "Oh I'll get him to behave", "Watch how I'll change him, you'll see". Women... people(men) don't change unless their is an experience in their life to make them change and usually it does not happen from you being number 5 on a list of 9.
Someone posted about a margin of women in their office that date bad boys. Notice they are all under 30. Another interesting element I've found in my little test. It's not until a woman reaches her mid to late 30's that she gets sick of the games and has finally realized.."oh damn, these bad boys are nothing but trouble". Better late than never I say.
These "bad boys", scruffs of the earth I call them, were usually raised in an environment or household, where their mother was treated poorly, abused and disrespected. Dependng on that child's outlets and environment, he either grows up determined to be the complete opposite of his Dad(See will Smith's - In pursuit of Happyness - It's based on a true story) or the abusive player his dad was. | |
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