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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > What is more intimate ? SEX or Holding Hands      Home login  
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 Enchanted107
Joined: 12/10/2007
Msg: 226
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What is more intimate ? SEX or Holding HandsPage 10 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
Holy Moses! How confusing could it be?

First, I don't think holding hands is sexual in nature at all; now, definitely, every one will agree that having sex is as intimate as can be. The difference in acceptance is that holding hands (between a man and a woman) is a public show of affection but may not connote intimacy. Having sex is done behind close doors, thus a very private show of affection of definitely very intimate nature.

Let's talk about cheating. Which is more an actual proof of cheating, the holding hands or having sex? IMO, holding hands is really nothing but that, maybe just holding hands! An act which shows one is comfortable with the other. But having sex is definitely an actual act of cheating, don't you agree?

Now, I am reminded of something that says, if you think what you are doing is not wrong, why are you hiding it? She probably has a mindset that she is advertising what they are doing behind closed doors by holding hands in public. Maybe their relationship is NOT above board at least from her standpoint.
 musicmaker4u
Joined: 10/13/2006
Msg: 227
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What is more intimate ? SEX or Holding Hands
Posted: 3/19/2008 5:54:06 PM
It,s all what you make it really... some like to open their christmas presents fast i like to do it slow...i like the romance. even kisses can be cold ...so its all about the state of mind.
 Golfen Fool
Joined: 6/8/2007
Msg: 228
What is more intimate ? SEX or Holding Hands
Posted: 3/19/2008 6:07:20 PM
That is about as stupid as it gets for dumping someone .... and she can't figure out why !!!!!!
 Reddwine
Joined: 4/15/2006
Msg: 229
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What is more intimate ? SEX or Holding Hands
Posted: 3/19/2008 6:17:40 PM
I know it sounds odd, and Ive never really thought about it ..but I say she has a point, somewhat. I dont think Id dump someone over it though.

Holding someones hand is very intimate. People 'say' things with their hands. 'I love you' or 'lets have sex later', or 'Im yours', or 'Youre mine', 'I will protect you'...sometimes 'Please dont leave me' or 'stay with me forever' or 'I will miss you forever'. Stop lauging.
 Greg8002
Joined: 3/11/2008
Msg: 230
What is more intimate ? SEX or Holding Hands
Posted: 3/19/2008 6:30:29 PM
I think holding hands is generally a symbol of committment to the exclusion of others, and perhaps this was what your friend was concerned about. Personally it is funny to me she would be willing to have sex with someone and not dump them, but be willing to break off a potential good relationship with a decent bloke over holding hands. I would scale sex as much higher on the intimacy scale than holding hands.
 Reddwine
Joined: 4/15/2006
Msg: 231
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What is more intimate ? SEX or Holding Hands
Posted: 3/19/2008 6:54:41 PM
Oh I totally agree.. sex is VERY intimate. MUCH more than holding hands.
 For Eternity
Joined: 1/26/2008
Msg: 232
What is more intimate ? SEX or Holding Hands
Posted: 3/19/2008 7:03:27 PM
This might be the perfect thread to ask this. For the last few years, I have notice when shaking hands with a women or recieving change at a store they purposely push in the center of my palm. Is there any significant to that hand shake?
 dharmapuppet
Joined: 4/1/2007
Msg: 233
What is more intimate ? SEX or Holding Hands
Posted: 3/19/2008 7:03:36 PM
There is emotional intimacy and there is physical intimacy. Then there is the type that encompasses both. Hand holding, to me, has more of a component of emotional intimacy to it that theoretically can be devoid of any sexual considerations (like holding the hand of a small child, for example). Perhaps your friend was a bit turned off by this approach, feeling it was not "adult" enough for her and was more interested in relating on a physically sexual level with the man she became involved with. When she got the sense he was not on the same "wavelength" as she, (perhaps he was simply on a "slower" wavelength than she and would have eventually arrived at the place where she wanted to start) she probably just got impatient and decided to go on the prowl for somebody more "up to speed".
 HulaH
Joined: 7/4/2007
Msg: 234
What is more intimate ? SEX or Holding Hands
Posted: 3/19/2008 7:22:47 PM
Your friend must have some deep issues...or she just wants to shop around some more (cheap excuse if it is!)

Sex with someone who means something to you is intimate..but holding hands brings the intimacy and connection out in public. If she's not ready for the public..shes not ready for a relationship IMHO.
 cw35
Joined: 4/8/2005
Msg: 235
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What is more intimate ? SEX or Holding Hands
Posted: 3/19/2008 7:46:17 PM
Your friend is a head case and obviously trying to mess with the guy's mind. She has some very serious issues if she thinks that holding hands with a man means he thinks he owns you. What feminazi book of garbage did she read that in? In the real world that us non looney people live in it usually means someone actually likes you. She doesn't deserve to have anyone with that attitude.
 Mirage111
Joined: 3/8/2008
Msg: 236
What is more intimate ? SEX or Holding Hands
Posted: 3/19/2008 7:47:56 PM
He should have asked her first.
 someoneseeker
Joined: 2/11/2007
Msg: 237
What is more intimate ? SEX or Holding Hands
Posted: 3/19/2008 8:09:31 PM
In my opinion, holding ones hand leads to intimacy...not the other way around. I think your friend over reacted and will ultimately have more bad first dates. I personally enjoy holding hands and feel comfortable when I'm offered a warm hand when I extend mine as opposed to a limp cold response...and down that road when the interest and desire is mutual...the intimate is equally anticipated. Its a shame when a simple gesture like holding hands is considered cause to end a date. I'm just an old fashioned romantic...but this cyber dating seems to be nothing more than a pool of fish claiming the desire to develope a relationship yet never making the effort or placing so many limits and boundries its doomed to failure....just sad!
 t_schilling04
Joined: 4/3/2004
Msg: 238
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What is more intimate ? SEX or Holding Hands
Posted: 3/19/2008 8:14:42 PM
Holding hands is more intimate. Sex is just pleasure and fun holding hands is almost like kissing, a no no for people not looking for intimacy.
 Ima Lady
Joined: 1/30/2008
Msg: 239
What is more intimate ? SEX or Holding Hands
Posted: 3/19/2008 8:31:10 PM

This might be the perfect thread to ask this. For the last few years, I have notice when shaking hands with a women or recieving change at a store they purposely push in the center of my palm. Is there any significant to that hand shake?
What are you saying? Lost me here.

And I agree msg 233 (if I'm getting it right) "Hand holding, to me, has more of a component of emotional intimacy". Holding hands is very intimate! How many times do you just want to 'let go' of someones hands as fast as possible. Their is a 'feeling' thats very intimate the moment hands connect. Hey, maybe I'm wrong. Maybe it's not felt by everyone.
 sam7667
Joined: 3/10/2008
Msg: 240
What is more intimate ? SEX or Holding Hands
Posted: 3/19/2008 8:46:00 PM
Deborah is right, i dont think holding hands is more intimate than having sex
 LindaLou-58
Joined: 11/17/2007
Msg: 241
What is more intimate ? SEX or Holding Hands
Posted: 3/21/2008 7:41:36 PM
To me, holding hands it a sign of affection for one another. If the other person is reticient about doing such a simple outward sign of affection..........I'd say run.
 allshookup98
Joined: 4/22/2006
Msg: 242
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What is more intimate ? SEX or Holding Hands
Posted: 3/21/2008 8:09:15 PM
I'm shocked at how fast he moved and it was only their second date.
 toomers
Joined: 2/24/2008
Msg: 243
What is more intimate ? SEX or Holding Hands
Posted: 3/21/2008 8:28:17 PM
schizophrenia. and i thought that would only occur in california...
 good guy75
Joined: 3/25/2008
Msg: 244
What is more intimate ? SEX or Holding Hands
Posted: 5/1/2008 9:11:49 AM
you mean to tell me she would rather have sex than holding hands very weired.i like holding hands and cuddle i would rather do that at first then jump in the sake with him very differant wow.
 PretaPorter
Joined: 3/1/2008
Msg: 245
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What is more intimate ? SEX or Holding Hands
Posted: 5/1/2008 9:38:31 AM
Holding hands in public is a sure sign that he sees you as something more than a sex object. Whilst I would never initiate it openly, it is lovely when the man I am with takes my hand quite firmly and it says 'you are with me - and everyone can see it'.

Sex can happen - and you don't even have to bother to know the person's name - particularly one night experiences can be brutally horrible and very unloving (so I have heard).

Out of the two - holding hands wins as being more intimate!
 T474T
Joined: 3/10/2008
Msg: 246
What is more intimate ? SEX or Holding Hands
Posted: 5/1/2008 10:02:24 AM
i think holding hands is great. I think that is more intimate then sex is.
 js104c1
Joined: 3/7/2008
Msg: 247
What is more intimate ? SEX or Holding Hands
Posted: 5/1/2008 10:09:52 AM
I didnt want to bother reading all of the posts on this thread, but I've seen a few who actually agree that holding hands is more intimate than sex. Are these people living in Iran where you bang with a sheet in bewtween you and get hung for holding hands in public?
 prissypants58
Joined: 4/9/2008
Msg: 248
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What is more intimate ? SEX or Holding Hands
Posted: 5/1/2008 10:48:40 AM
duh sex of course
 T474T
Joined: 3/10/2008
Msg: 249
What is more intimate ? SEX or Holding Hands
Posted: 5/1/2008 11:31:15 AM
holding hands is a way of showing love in and out of public. Sex normally is a wham bam thank you mam kinda thing these days. Unless you really love the person.
 MikeTheWriter
Joined: 2/27/2006
Msg: 250
What is more intimate ? SEX or Holding Hands
Posted: 5/1/2008 12:56:03 PM
Depends on where she's holding my hands.
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