arri
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Joined: 10/5/2005
Msg: 126 | |
| What is more intimate ? SEX or Holding Hands
Posted: 11/7/2005 1:14:19 PM |
what if they did need some reassurance...is that too big a 'price' to pay for someone you love?
If i was in love ... I'd want the world to know it ... so the issue would be moot | |
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| What is more intimate ? SEX or Holding Hands
Posted: 11/7/2005 1:32:09 PM | I would describe holding hands as a matter of belonging - which is similar to possession but not the same thing. Belonging requires complicity, possession does not. Like sex, it’s an expression of togetherness - of the state of your relationship. But it does assume a degree of consensus. I agree that holding hands CAN BE an act of possession or control, even if it’s done in private. (It’s the motivation for the act and not third-party perception that must be examined.) Holding hands is an expression of inclusion, of membership - like locking elbows. It's a SHARED exercise.
OT: I think sex is much more intimate than holding hands. They are both expressions of intimacy and of sharing, but sex holds more ramifications and requires deeper levels of trust and commitment. | |
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| What is more intimate ? SEX or Holding Hands
Posted: 11/7/2005 1:49:17 PM |
However, the holding hands thing basically constitutes a more intimate thing
lordy...this definately changes my answer to the question "how many times have you been intimate with someone"?... | |
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| What is more intimate ? SEX or Holding Hands
Posted: 11/7/2005 2:13:03 PM |
I would describe holding hands as a matter of belonging - which is similar to possession but not the same thing. Belonging requires complicity, possession does not.
That puts a whole new spin on this. Great post.  | |
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arri
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Joined: 10/5/2005
Msg: 132 | |
| What is more intimate ? SEX or Holding Hands
Posted: 11/7/2005 2:52:06 PM | Sorry Yami … I don’t agree with you anymore 
I see it as a sense of belonging too. Of course there are always cross overs, but squirlly put her finger on it a few posts back. There is a gender divide in atitudes.
Men are much more ready to give their bodies away but more cautious when it comes to showing real emotions. Where as many women see sex as the ultimate emotional gift.
My friend (who is a real person and very dear to me) is a great catch by any definition, however, by the age of 44, has not married nor has had any children and very successful … don’t get me wrong, she is not a corporate BYTCH. She is actually a total softy, always wants to help people and bring the stray puppies home.
What I forgot to mention is that her ex boyfriend is a nice guy but he is an unemployed alcoholic. They have had an on again off again thing going we (her friends) have been pushing her to make every break up, the last break up. That’s why we encouraged her to go out dating and find someone deserving.
Obviously, she read the signs right. This guy wanted to give his heart and she didn't want it which is just fine, I think she is over the ex since she had sex with this guy. (She is not a slut either so it must have meant something)
Anyway, I think I am just going to advice her to keep on dating, because I don’t really want her back with her ex boyfriend. | |
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| What is more intimate ? SEX or Holding Hands
Posted: 11/7/2005 3:33:18 PM | I would describe holding hands as a matter of belonging - which is similar to possession but not the same thing. Belonging requires complicity, possession does not. Like sex, it’s an expression of togetherness - of the state of your relationship. But it does assume a degree of consensus. I agree that holding hands CAN BE an act of possession or control, even if it’s done in private. (It’s the motivation for the act and not third-party perception that must be examined.) Holding hands is an expression of inclusion, of membership - like locking elbows. It's a SHARED exercise.
Well breifne thank you. This was the point I was attempting (badly) to get across. Apparently you are more intelligent, and more eloquent than I am. | |
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| What is more intimate ? SEX or Holding Hands
Posted: 11/7/2005 3:50:35 PM | .
I love how you explained the hand holding.
Thank you for the kind words, Dceeeee. Some might disagree on the “sweetheart” part, though. LOL
Actually, I was just trying to explain how I see the issue, but without seeming too argumentative.
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| What is more intimate ? SEX or Holding Hands
Posted: 11/7/2005 4:14:42 PM | .
You seem to make it very clear that that is who you are and you will not change for anyone.
Exactly, Nala1. When we are talking about expressing friendship or kindness, I have to stick with what works for me. Folks who know me also know exactly what my intentions are because I do not hide them. Actually, the joke about me is that I march to the beat of my own drummer and always have. So, some think I can be fun to watch. On the other hand, I am not a guy on the prowl and never have been.
it is when you are unclear in your intentions that scares people the most.
Unfortunately, most guys (and many women) do not understand that. Hence, they unintentionally give off mixed signals to most of the people around them. I try not to do that.
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| What is more intimate ? SEX or Holding Hands
Posted: 11/7/2005 4:36:32 PM |
it only counts if it was a five-finger handhold, locking pinkies doesn't count.
^^^thank god for that...!...think of the pandemonium that would have caused in my personal life...!... now...how about thumb wrestling...does that count for anything? | |
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jaad
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Joined: 10/29/2005
Msg: 138 | |
| What is more intimate ? SEX or Holding Hands
Posted: 11/7/2005 8:08:13 PM | | you know what dbmdon, I think you hold a lot of wisdom in you, I wish I could be more lke you. you are a very sincere man. Am happy to read what you have to say. very refreshing in a complete heterosexual kinda of way hahahaha. you have nerves of steel and I hope that you find a pearl for yourself you truly deserve a good person | |
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jaad
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Joined: 10/29/2005
Msg: 139 | |
| What is more intimate ? SEX or Holding Hands
Posted: 11/7/2005 8:16:27 PM | | arriano too got a really good stamina. You too man. you are a great guy and you have a real head on your shoulders. every time i read you post on the board. you are an opiniated little P**ck but you do make sense. I wish I knew you when I lived in Ottawa. what debate we would have had. You know the fences on hunt club from Bank to hmm what the name of the road???? right at the end where princess Auto is and that little hotdog stand trailer and Giant Tiger (dam I miss giant tiger for their t-shirt sales, no Giant tiger in BC)????? well go check it out she is a real sweety both are french. anyway I bid on that fence a while back nd the city weren't willing to pay but only after a year after the contract was accomplished. I tried to raise money to do the job and bank it but wasn't able to. one little freaking French guy from Hull got the contract and he is a millionaire today. my luck! shit happens everywhere i gues | |
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arri
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Joined: 10/5/2005
Msg: 140 | |
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jaad
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Joined: 10/29/2005
Msg: 141 | |
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arri
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Joined: 10/5/2005
Msg: 142 | |
| What is more intimate ? SEX or Holding Hands
Posted: 11/7/2005 8:30:10 PM | you know what they say about opiniated little P**cks. I can't eat anymore, but i know where to fish  
edit: squirrly - He has restrictions up the ying yang on his email | |
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jaad
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Joined: 10/29/2005
Msg: 143 | |
| What is more intimate ? SEX or Holding Hands
Posted: 11/7/2005 8:34:28 PM | | So whats your sport? walley? bass? hahhhaha i know a really good spot on the St-laurent for pike. pickup a lady in distress one day on her yath just about there. I wont say anymore | |
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| What is more intimate ? SEX or Holding Hands
Posted: 11/7/2005 8:44:09 PM | With my size it generally feels as if I'm 5 yrs old being drug along behind my mom...
There is a difference between holding your childs hand and holding your partners hand...
I have very sensitive hands and well....
I don't object if he wants to hold hands in public, it just means more to me in private... | |
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| What is more intimate ? SEX or Holding Hands
Posted: 11/7/2005 8:45:07 PM | I beg to differ with jaad.....Arrianno is an opinionated big pr*ck who makes sense.
aren't you glad I'm defending you....
This is honestly a subject I never questioned before this thread. It does appear to be gender related but I don't think its because women see sex as an emotional gift so much as women being more comfortable with expressing their emotions.
Funny that I've never encountered a partner who usually didn't initiate the hand holding on some occasions so I guess we do just naturally choose people who are like us.
Now we need a hand-holding icon. | |
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jaad
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Joined: 10/29/2005
Msg: 147 | |
| What is more intimate ? SEX or Holding Hands
Posted: 11/7/2005 8:47:51 PM |
I don't object if he wants to hold hands in public, it just means more to me in private...
there goes another OUTSTANDING woman, take your turn boys, she wont' be around for any longer | |
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jaad
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Joined: 10/29/2005
Msg: 148 | |
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jaad
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Joined: 10/29/2005
Msg: 150 | |
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