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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > What is more intimate ? SEX or Holding Hands      Home login  
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 dbndon
Joined: 7/15/2005
Msg: 201
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Holding handsPage 9 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
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Holding hands in a restaurant or bar is unnecessary, unless you are tying to seduce her. But, holding hands while walking is but a pleasantry and minor form of affection.

Some “men” said this public display denotes ownership? Interestingly enough, no woman agreed. Nor would I. Rather, I would think of it as a friendship thing. An outward show of togetherness, actually.

Okay, some men do not want the general public to know they are “with” that woman and so do not wish to do anything as simple as hold hands in public. From my way of thinking, though, as not one to date just anyone for the hell of it, I have been quite proud to be seen with the ladies I was with. Indeed, if I didn’t want any of my relatives (who populate this area) to see me with her, I would not be in public whith her.

But, y’know guys, if you can hold their hand for a while, you can also get a hug. Thereafter, there is no telling what can develop.

Those who fear affection still desire it, just do not accept any. That’s unfortunate.
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 _Thisisme_
Joined: 4/17/2005
Msg: 202
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What is more intimate ? SEX or Holding Hands
Posted: 12/13/2005 11:00:08 PM
i think having sex while holding hands would be very intimate.

***drooooooool***

edit: dbndon....damn you're sweet....would you give lessons to the other guys on here?
 j-mix
Joined: 10/4/2005
Msg: 203
Bring on the LEASH
Posted: 12/14/2005 7:15:41 AM

laverboy: All the women I dated wanted to hold hands. What does that have to do with independence?


probably you are right.
let's explain it in another way...

once i was in relationship with girl. she was big and not very attractive.
relationship was a mistake, but...
she try to show to everybody, that she have relationship with me.
so he makes me to go to her friends, in the mall and other public places and tried to show affection for everybody. "see, i'm with hot guy today!"


i sad "no". and i quit from relationship.

so if she do not want "to show relationship" by keeping hands then it means, that they have no relationship. and this is bad.
i would break up asap in such case. but it should be his decision.
 dbndon
Joined: 7/15/2005
Msg: 204
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What is more intimate ? SEX or Holding Hands
Posted: 12/14/2005 10:11:35 AM
.

would you give lessons to the other guys on here?


Sure, Deborah, if you’ll teach some of the gals local to me how to properly prepare for a first date. LOL
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 seliel
Joined: 6/13/2005
Msg: 205
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What is more intimate ? SEX or Holding Hands
Posted: 12/14/2005 12:55:22 PM
damn ive been doing it all wrong! forget the public display----no holding hands please-just do me! you're only a ****buddy till I decide that you're worthy enough to be seen with me holding hands in public. Hey do you mind moving over one seat while we watch the movie? theres people around. Afterwards we'll go back to your place and ****! Yeah I get it now.
 torentrap
Joined: 11/21/2005
Msg: 206
Bring on the LEASH
Posted: 12/14/2005 2:45:53 PM
If im not ready to hold hands with someone , then im not ready to have sex with them.
For me it's a definite must & creates intimacy. I love it when the sparks flow when a date for the first time holds my hand
 ya472
Joined: 8/8/2005
Msg: 207
Bring on the LEASH
Posted: 12/14/2005 3:39:32 PM
..

i think having sex while holding hands would be very intimate.



It is a nice 'forceful' way to do sex.... instead of holding the bed post.

..
 arri
Joined: 10/5/2005
Msg: 208
What is more intimate ? SEX or Holding Hands
Posted: 1/8/2006 7:51:01 AM
There is something very special about holding hands .... that feels even better than sex .. and it is innocent.
 candielicker
Joined: 11/30/2005
Msg: 209
What is more intimate ? SEX or Holding Hands
Posted: 1/9/2006 4:54:10 PM
I don't think there is nothing wrong with holding hands.
 SUPERMODEL 1
Joined: 12/28/2005
Msg: 210
What is more intimate ? SEX or Holding Hands
Posted: 1/10/2006 12:11:31 PM
I think she needs to see a psychiatrist.
 ya472
Joined: 8/8/2005
Msg: 211
What is more intimate ? SEX or Holding Hands
Posted: 1/10/2006 6:39:29 PM
..

Last night, she told me that she dumped him. I said why, and she said, he tried to hold my hand on the market (Restaurant district in Ottawa). I know she is open minded about sex BUT .. She said it’s a sign of belonging and it was way too fast for her.



SOUNDS like she did the man a favor.

She has rules that she hasn't communicated and has knee-jerk reactions that terminated the dating without warning.

Too crazy and unpredictable. I am not sure where the 'open minded about sex' fits in, but maybe her relationship IQ is a little off-balance.
..
 arri
Joined: 10/5/2005
Msg: 212
What is more intimate ? SEX or Holding Hands
Posted: 1/10/2006 6:47:53 PM
^^^^ you know ... that was 3 months ago .. but I'll pass it on
 ~ Gentle ~ Breeze
Joined: 1/9/2006
Msg: 213
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Last night, she told me that she dumped him. I said why, and she said, he tried to hold my hand
Posted: 1/10/2006 7:07:11 PM
~ I think she has her possession feelings mixed up with a person that cares for her ~ I would not think holding a persons hand ~ other than someone that possibly has feelings for me or a gesture ~ on the other hand if we had to be handcuffed while holding hands that puts a whole different perspective on this
 HappyValentinesDay
Joined: 2/13/2006
Msg: 214
What is more intimate ? SEX or Holding Hands
Posted: 2/14/2006 12:48:50 AM
Holding hands. I have never had sex.
 MeAndMine251
Joined: 10/16/2006
Msg: 215
What is more intimate ? SEX or Holding Hands
Posted: 1/17/2007 2:24:05 AM
How about both? At the same time? I dont think you can get more intimate than that.
 jo~
Joined: 1/2/2007
Msg: 216
What is more intimate ? SEX or Holding Hands
Posted: 1/17/2007 2:33:32 AM
At first when I read this thread I laughed it off.........BUT....after reading it through I can see her point!!!!!!

Holding another's hand is very intimate especially in public.......If you and he are still at that stage of getting to know one another then sure it would feel a little uncomfortable........FUNNY though.....If we were having wild, passionate sex and he held my hands above my head then..........BRING IT ON!!!!!!!!!
 kitchenerkat
Joined: 5/25/2006
Msg: 217
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What is more intimate ? SEX or Holding Hands
Posted: 1/17/2007 4:26:52 AM
for some, public gestures indicate the level of commitment... (because a couple is having sex, does not imply long term commitment)

for others, it means something else - a young european female coworker of mine often links arms with me when we walk in public in the downtown core (we do get the occasional look but, hey!)... depends on each one's value and belief systems and what that particular gesture means to them personally

if she was really into the guy, she could have communicated her feelings rather than immediately dumping him... what did holding hands in public mean to him?

having said that... i concur with jo's entire statement, and... right on! lol
 JustCallMeMike
Joined: 5/29/2006
Msg: 218
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Bring on the LEASH
Posted: 1/17/2007 8:11:10 AM
I believe both are very inimate. Both significes closeness trust and aquaintence.
 BuddhaNature
Joined: 12/8/2005
Msg: 219
Bring on the LEASH
Posted: 1/17/2007 8:25:43 AM
Intimacy means openness and trust in communication, sharing of secrets.
Passion means physical and emotional attraction to someone.
Commitment means loyalty to stick around and work out problems.
If you have all three components you have consumate love which is the highest form of love.

Being kinesthetic, I touch people all the time with no thought towards sex. I even hold my guy friends elbows when I talk to them. Agreed, the courting dance begins with touching. I only date women that are hand-holders as other women seem too cold or seem to have touch/sex crosslink confusion.
 AmeliaEarhart
Joined: 11/6/2006
Msg: 220
What is more intimate ? SEX or Holding Hands
Posted: 1/17/2007 8:43:01 AM
For me it's not a sign of belonging or 'ownership' but a sign of simple, uncomplicated affection.

Kind of like a bear hug, or a sweet kiss on the cheek.

It's a sign of warmth, whereas sex is heat. Some people deal better with the later than the former.

Me? I like both. They represent equal levels of intimacy for me.


I understand that not everyone sees it that way, however; I try to be sensitve to and careful of others boundaries.
 alyosha
Joined: 11/13/2006
Msg: 221
What is more intimate ? SEX or Holding Hands
Posted: 1/17/2007 9:06:40 AM
For me it's a matter of context. Holding hands in virtually any public place is pleasurable, but, e.g. at a Hitchcoc k film, even the lousiest of sex would be a welcome distraction.
 2Kitties
Joined: 9/17/2006
Msg: 222
What is more intimate ? SEX or Holding Hands
Posted: 1/17/2007 9:11:54 AM
It sounds to me she's leaving a lot of the story out. Holding hands after a few dates - there's nothing wrong with that - it's a sign of affection, giving her attention...but perhaps she has something to hide.... I think holding hands is a form of intimacy - the sex part along with the holding hands just adds more excitement.
 2Bands
Joined: 5/22/2006
Msg: 223
Bring on the LEASH
Posted: 1/17/2007 9:37:51 AM
That's it ....

"Don't hold hands with anyone you would'nt have sex with "

Diggy you got it ..

I also liked .. " if we are into each other touch me anywhere any time , public or private "..
 XFRITZX
Joined: 11/22/2004
Msg: 224
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What is more intimate ? SEX or Holding Hands
Posted: 3/19/2008 2:51:51 PM
well, that depends on if its just sex you are having or if you are making love!
 StrangerInTheHouse
Joined: 2/9/2008
Msg: 225
What is more intimate ? SEX or Holding Hands
Posted: 3/19/2008 2:58:09 PM
It depends on the loyalty of those involved.
Sometimes just a look can be more intimate than anything if it's at the right moment...
It's not the act itself that is intimate. It's the spiritual closeness, if it exists.
You can do either of those things or much more and it doesn't mean anything without the uniqueness and closeness of the relationship.
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