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 MissElaineESJones
Joined: 8/28/2009
Msg: 126
Older women, younger guysPage 6 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
A lot of years of experience goes into the making of a sophisticated, warm, loving woman. Give the same heartaches, pain, child-bearing and rearing, "taking care of everybody" kind of life experience to a man, and so often it tends to turn him into a crotchety old grump who just wants to sit on the couch and scratch himself. Where's the match in that?

On the other hand then, there's the younger men who only want to get into your pants. Where's the match in that?

This is such a problem. The women I know who are "of an age" are just now hitting their stride. I'm still open-minded that there are good older men out there somewhere, but a lot of older women are starting to say, "the h3ll with all of you!" You men better wise up before it is too late.

The most important aspect in the older-younger debate for me is I can't imagine dating someone younger who has no memory of where they were when John Kennedy was assassinated. Or the Viet Nam war. Or the 60s, the Beatles, and when women started wearing pantsuits. Stuff like that to have in common. The richness of history.
 CAM46
Joined: 9/2/2005
Msg: 127
Older women, younger guys
Posted: 9/12/2009 7:41:59 PM
Ok I have to put my two cents in on this one.
Dating younger then yourself is not all that's it's cracked up to be. Sure it's flattering at times. But it has it's down side.
I have been seeing someone 14 years yournger then myself off and on for ten years.
I keep hoping that one day it will actually work......But no matter how hard I try, it doesn't. We don't have the same things in common. For example, his idea of a good time is going out getting totally sh- tfaced and falling into bed and pretend to have great sex. Now don't get me wrong a few drinks and a good night can lead to a very interesting return home. But not falling down disgusting drunk.
And kids.... I have raised mine, done my time staying home and taking care of them.
Now I want to go out and enjoy myself. Do adult things. Without worrying every other weekend when the kids are there.
Anyone else feel the same or am I just being to harsh?
Loosing my Mom in June has made me see life a whole lot different. What was important to me then is not so important to me now. And being in a bad relationship and not being happy is one of them. Life is too short not to be happy, so I guess I'll just keep looking until I find it.
 e*Musing
Joined: 10/23/2008
Msg: 128
Older women, younger guys
Posted: 9/12/2009 10:31:08 PM
Ahhhhh...for 10 years you've been dating someone 14 years younger? You know...there are a whole lot of marriages that last a lot less that your relationship. So don't quite write it off yet...but considering that women are usually about a decade more mature than most guys, that means he's actually more like 25 years younger...dayum...

 MissElaineESJones
Joined: 8/28/2009
Msg: 129
Older women, younger guys
Posted: 9/13/2009 7:17:24 AM
This brings up a question that I've pondered about. How do you tell the difference between "friends with benefits" and an actual relationship? I suppose there are so many levels to "friends with benefits" such as even someone who is only interested in the sex as an outlet for themselves and a friend is helping them out. Perhaps an actual relationship would take it into an added dimension of something spiritual? There would seem to be an area in our existence where only deep commitment can enter and most people never open the door to that these days. Then there are others who have an open door for whoever will enter and then end up with just a friend with benefits.

Perhaps the majority of younger men are unable to enter the door of deep commitment and older women seem safer? They would have an excuse to keep it at a lower level than that.
 e*Musing
Joined: 10/23/2008
Msg: 130
Older women, younger guys
Posted: 9/17/2009 11:20:57 PM

This brings up a question that I've pondered about. How do you tell the difference between "friends with benefits" and an actual relationship?

Are you asking how you tell the difference between doing very mutually enjoyable in which you both experience and deliciously positive outcome or understanding what is the "In Love" experience? Once I understood the "In Love" experience I knew the difference.

I also know when I'm not in love...the first telltale sign for me is that there is no desire for eye contact when speaking about the future in very real and concrete terms. But then again, I'm one of the weird ones who believe the phrase "I love you" is not a statement of the past or the present moment...but rather a commitment into the future...IOW, "I commit to love you".

A relationship...being "in love" is about commitment into the future. And most older women see their future changing fast...and most young guys have no idea where there future is going. Sometimes that spark works, but typically the guy will, at some point, pull back and reconsider his options...well actually he'll probably just think about them for the first time...but you get the drift.

 MissElaineESJones
Joined: 8/28/2009
Msg: 131
Older women, younger guys
Posted: 9/18/2009 6:05:41 AM
Thank you, J!dub, for focusing in for a great deal of clarity on this subject. I know you only wrote a few sentences about this, but it was what I needed. The light bulb turned on! Based on your description, I look back on my life and realize that I have never experienced that future commitment kind of love. The "I love you's" that I got were to obtain security, sex, money, and even help in getting a business started. It has always been for the moment and when the present need is fulfilled, years of commitment on my part have on at least two occasions even been dismissed with one sentence before he slammed the door.

I think this information will be a great deal of help to the younger women out there who are on this site so they can get something, even if it is forum information, to use in their lives and they won't get to the place I have gotten.

The older ladies can also gauge how their relationship with a guy, whatever his age, measures up. We are never too old to learn something.

You really should write a book on this subject!
 Janinohio
Joined: 3/17/2008
Msg: 132
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History
Older women, younger guys
Posted: 9/18/2009 12:14:32 PM
I agree with you~ Cam46. Amen!!!!
 Bubblicious51
Joined: 4/4/2009
Msg: 133
Older women, younger guys
Posted: 9/20/2009 8:26:04 AM
I agree with you cottongirl. I have tried both in my lifestime. When I was in my 20's I liked older men but now age is just a generation gap and I liked younger or older men. I think it depends on the maturity level no matter what age, male or female. If you are compatible with each other the generation gap is flexible and hey--fun to laugh about all of the generation levels. It is human nature to place sexuality on the age differences but, when love happens no matter what age-- it's wonderful. The important thing is that you can love.
 Dayton_Jem
Joined: 8/15/2009
Msg: 134
Older women, younger guys
Posted: 9/20/2009 12:05:33 PM
I think the older ladies are usually more mature and usually have thier act pretty much together, they have been there and done that (like must of us huh) and this is important, but to each thier own.
 BrummelBrow
Joined: 10/6/2009
Msg: 135
Older women, younger guys
Posted: 10/13/2009 7:13:33 PM
I am not sure who Jessica Simpson is either
"

I'm 31 and know who Jessica Simpson is
and she is hot!
 BrummelBrow
Joined: 10/6/2009
Msg: 136
Older women, younger guys
Posted: 10/13/2009 7:15:52 PM
"Dating younger then yourself is not all that's it's cracked up to be."

are you sure about that?
It all depends on maturity level.
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