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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Do men really know what Women Want???????      Home login  
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 Mezambo
Joined: 5/30/2008
Msg: 226
Do men really know what Women Want???????Page 10 of 14    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)
I have no idea. Please enlighten me on this and I will be forever in your debt.
 Mr Happy Pants
Joined: 7/12/2008
Msg: 227
Do men really know what Women Want???????
Posted: 8/3/2008 7:04:53 PM

Do men really know what Women Want???????


yep!
 Barbe1963
Joined: 9/30/2007
Msg: 228
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History
Do men really know what Women Want???????
Posted: 8/3/2008 7:12:32 PM
^^^ I'm betting you do at that Cowboy....or at least as well as anyone. Heck, sometimes, I don't even know what women want and I am one.
 pebbles_2006
Joined: 7/19/2006
Msg: 229
Do men really know what Women Want???????
Posted: 8/3/2008 7:13:17 PM
Love,Compassion, Romance, Trust, Honesty, Public Affection (Private),and they want someone that would SWEEP THEM OFF THEIR FEET .

Looks are nothing that important to them except if you're SUPERFICIAL. Personality matters most to any girl finding AVERAGE GUY with TRUE FEELINGS.

I believe in FAITH & DESTINY. It is Faith that you meet someone & care and have feelings for that person & its Destiny that put you both together to share a moment with each other.
 shieldvulf
Joined: 10/30/2006
Msg: 230
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History
Do men really know what Women Want???????
Posted: 8/3/2008 7:16:30 PM
I never was sure what girls want, but a woman wants to choose her own destiny.

And, most of them, chocolate.

And, anyway, who ever said that men know what women want? I thought the tired cliché was that no one knows. Could OPie have mistaken a boyish bluff for a claim of knowledge?

Cheers!

Vulf

VVV I still don't get the point. Bitter men use unnecessary punctuation? VVV
 dacu63
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 231
Do men really know what Women Want???????
Posted: 8/3/2008 7:26:43 PM
Read this and you will get the point!!!!!!!!!!!


A man is walking along a beach and sees a small brass lamp sticking out of the sand,
He picks it up and just for the hell of it he rubs it,
Lore and behold a genie pops out,
The man asks the genie if he is going to grant him 3 wish's,
The genie explains to him that he is only allowed to grant 1 wish,
So the man thinks for a bit and says,
Well I have always wanted to see Europe but I am death scared of boats and air planes,
Can you build me a bridge across the ocean so I can drive there?
The genie says,
Well that's a really big wish....is there anything else you want......
The man says, well yes there is,
I have been married to my wife for 50 years and I have never figured her out,
I want to know the secret to a woman's heart.........


The genie thinks for a second and says,
Now about that bridge............did you want 2 or 4 lanes???
 DebraTheDeepThinker
Joined: 6/3/2006
Msg: 232
Do men really know what Women Want???????
Posted: 8/3/2008 7:45:18 PM
nosoup4u, I agree with that you that men and women do want the samr thing ideally, but I disagree that evolutionally speaking, men were both the hunters and gatherers; rather, while men were indeed the hunters, it was women who were the gatherers, according to anthropological studies. This probably explains the differences in cognitive abilities between the sexes. Men are usually better at tasks requiring visual-spatial abilities while women usually perform better in verbal abilities, generally speaking.

But a side from this, the famous question that even Freud asked "what do women want?" was really a rhetorical question. How can anyone possibly know what every woman wants? Or evry man for that matter? Or every Asian-American or African-American, and so on. We are all different. But all of our differences a side, I think that there is one thing that does come to mind when a general question like that is asked. I think that women basically want the same thing that most men want: that is respect.
 Aries0328
Joined: 1/19/2008
Msg: 233
Do men really know what Women Want???????
Posted: 8/3/2008 7:57:39 PM

women usually perform better in verbal abilities, generally speaking.


Well :-) You know what I am going to say to that little snag of a quote from philosophygirl right.

Can you use your words and say what it is. Generally speaking is ok.

Reading through I think I ran across 1 more addition nice guy and the pornstar was a misunderstanding and is actually superman as being artistically masculine. There was also an "I don't know" type of answer and I don't know can only mean that if you don't know then nothing can be given so that leaves only love me and leave me alone.

So, what we basically have is...

2 nice guy
1 superman
1 leave me alone

Cognitive abilities aside... you seeing the picture yet...

Now since we have one that was willing to give some actionable items. We can put some actions to the nice guy parts...
Help with the real life stuff. Laundry, cleaning, Dont throw it all on the woman.

For the superman part... yeah, don't have to be a body builder to pull that one for the general population... I think basic get off your ass and exercise would be good for most. We do not need to consider any extremes as those are variations on general. Some hint of them exists in everyone but who cares... this is a freakin forum.

Also going to leave off obvious traits such as Honesty. Why... Because I don't want to deal with the complexity :-P

So, this is where I am at.

2 nice guy
1 superman
1 leave me alone

Actions:
Help with the real life stuff. Laundry, cleaning, Dont throw it all on the woman.
Get off your ass and exercise. Be active and motivated in your life.


Fair enough so far?







 GJ100
Joined: 3/19/2008
Msg: 234
Do men really know what Women Want???????
Posted: 8/3/2008 8:03:59 PM
A man wants a woman who doesn't ask these stupid questions.
Do men really know what Women Want???????
Posted: 8/3/2008 8:49:48 PM
GJ100 - ummm the question was do MEN know what WOMEN want?!!!
*******************************************
And, most of them, chocolate.

Vulf --- you should get a cookie!!!!!

*****************************************************************************

Sweetthang put it best ----- (but of course she IS a woman so maybe she has an edge in knowing what women want!!!?)

I don't know about many of you, but I know EXACTLY what I want! Hence, why I'm still single, hehe. ;)

I don't want a badboy, nor someone with an arrogant attitude. I kick those guys to the curb everyday of my life. And, my guy doesn't have to be built, good looking, or have lots of money. It would be nice if he had a job, though, because I prefer to stay home and take care of my home and family. However, I don't mind helping if he can't cut it, financially.

He doesn't even have to know how to do laundry, as long as he can help here and there.

I don't know about you folks, but I don't mind taking care of someone I love.

Oh, he doesn't have to be all that tall, either...just so that I fit under his arm comfortably. All he has to do is make sure I'm happy...(don't need six pair of shoes, thanks, or even a white picket fence). He just has to be my best friend, and I will be his, so that we can both make sure each is happy, always.

I think sparda has been reading too many man books, again, hehe. :( Not every man would agree with you, sparda. Maybe you're just trying to date outside that which you have to offer a woman, so you're not getting anywhere? hehe.
 Aries0328
Joined: 1/19/2008
Msg: 236
Do men really know what Women Want???????
Posted: 8/3/2008 9:06:02 PM
Thanks sweetjemgirl.

Can't add yours in :-) I know... I am an ass. Need actions or something that apparently no one really gets... Must be a magical unicorn type thing that defies description :-)

You can claim that your fully in agreemet with SweetThang though... And if she lived near me I would probably be trying to email her myself... but thats just me.
Do men really know what Women Want???????
Posted: 8/3/2008 9:27:21 PM
Ok Aries some real answer's huh?


The ONE Guy that just gets me -----

where I can be me - silly/serious/happy/sad/quiet/thoughtful/whatever - and he gets it, doesn't try to 'fix or define' what it is but just allows me room to be.... and in doing so gives my a tight quick squeeze, hard kiss, slap on the azz and tells me "love ya babe, need anything?" to which he isn't offended when I say no or I'm good.

The ONE Guy that isn't a little boy trying to be a grownup or a man trying to play peter pan, but a regular guy that is comfortable with who he is and doesn't feel the need to defend that. Am I silly here? I don't think so, my dad was just this kind of man and he was the greatest man ever! And he wasn't perfect, could be an azz, grouchy, whatever, but he was honest, hardworking, protective of his family, reliable, faithful and worthy of respect. He certainly never apologized for being a man.

The ONE Guy that knows how to kiss that part of my neck that makes me weak in the knees!!

The ONE Guy that can make me laugh, can have fun sarcastic banter between us w/o any stupid ego's getting in the way.

The ONE Guy that appreciates that I am NOT one of the guys, dont desire to hang out all day and watch ball games (though don't care if he does), appreciates the little feminine things I do to please him, whether wearing something sexy just for him, bringing him a cold drink while he is working or watching a game, treating his buddies like decent friends even when they act like azzes (I have brothers - guys are guys).

The ONE Guy that doesn't mind if I am being silly and just want to wrap up in his arms, sit in his lap and listen to his heartbeat for whatever reason.

The ONE Guy that isn't going to make me feel stupid for having and expressing fears whether it be the dark, noises in the night, being alone, whatever. Instead he will hold me and let me feel safe and secure in his arms.

The ONE Guy that understands that tho I may put on the miss independant "I Can Take Care Of Myself" act for the world, deep down he knows that I need him, that I love him, and that he matter's.

That ONE Guy that isn't so arrogant and full of himself but isn't an insecure wimp, that isn't out to prove he is the MAN because he already knows it, doesn't need to be a jerk.

OH yeah, and that ONE GUY that brings me chocolate when he messed up like forgot to call or left the seat up at night!


So add that to what Sweetthang said. OH - and he isn't perfect!!!!! If your perfect then where do you go from there?

How's that Aries - that any help for you????? No script there so take it for what it is.
 Aries0328
Joined: 1/19/2008
Msg: 238
Do men really know what Women Want???????
Posted: 8/3/2008 9:48:13 PM
That was great :-) Thank you.

And through all of that we have an additional "nice guy" to add. And the reason it is great is because you have examples of what it means to you. Things that can be fulfilled. They are not unrealistic and that means logic can be applied and there is something to actually do.

Responsible, accommodating, mature, affectionate, funny, appreciative, and thoughtful all fall under the proper form of nice guy. Not the wimpy wimpy needy description of a nice guy.

3 nice guy
1 superman
1 leave me alone
Do men really know what Women Want???????
Posted: 8/3/2008 11:27:02 PM
Aries - I am finding that the general description of "nice guy" is not the same for everyone. Some feel the nice guy is some cowardly kissazz doormat, some think he is a passive/aggressive jerk that comes off as a nice guy til he doesn't get his way, and so on and so forth - matter of perception.

Based on this I am not sure I am describing the "Nice Guy" as that ONE Guy for me isn't any of the above. He is not someone that can be manipulated/pushed around/guilt tripped/puppetted by sexual means. He also is not someone that is abusive/uncaring/selfcentered/cold and therefore the badguy/creep. He respects himself and demands and gets respect from others because he deserves it. What is the ideal image of a real man? Why is it necessary to label either Nice Guy or Bad Boy? Isn't it possible to have a real man that is balanced without those things that make those labels negative. Just wondering.

Anyway Aries glad to help.
 Aries0328
Joined: 1/19/2008
Msg: 240
Do men really know what Women Want???????
Posted: 8/3/2008 11:36:32 PM
Haha, Thats why I specifically said proper defintion of nice guy and not the negative perception of clingy needy, wimpy, and that includes passive aggresive.
 Aries0328
Joined: 1/19/2008
Msg: 241
Do men really know what Women Want???????
Posted: 8/3/2008 11:42:22 PM
Ok, I’m done for the night. Way to much forums for me this weekend.
So here is where I’ll leave my poor excuse for a forum experiment.

Question: Do men really know what women want?

Women want a man that has the following combination of traits:

3 parts nice guy
1 part superman
1 part leaves her alone.

This means that she wants a decent responsible guy that participates in the real daily life of living and does not make unreasonable demands on her or expect more from her then he is willing to give himself. This is entirely separate from financial contribution and directly related to everyday living.

She wants someone that is engaged in life and has a level of activity that is similar to her own and would appreciate a healthy physical outlook but again this outlook should closely mirror her own level. She would prefer someone with a sense of inner strength, integrity and the quiet confidence of character to know that physical strength is not the equivalent of courage or bravery.

She wants to be appreciated for her contributions and given the respect of independence and freedom to engage in personal interests and down time without concern or conflict.

What someone else could take from this…

The different make up of parts actually didn’t turn out to bad even though responders were quite limited. So, obviously I made this crap up and don’t really care if its correct or not :-P However, I still like the way it came out. So, whatever!
Out of the 5 parts of a guy listed the numbers can be shifted multiple ways. However, in doing so there is a sacrifice. Unfortunately it seems that most shifting of the quantities will diminish the quality. But you get what you pay for.

If you want someone with more money, power, physical appearance, influence, etc... Power types of qualities; to increase that number something has to come from somewhere. Because of the additional power requirements it will not come from leaving you alone. So, it must come from the nice guy. So, if you want additional power you must lose some of the nice guy. Not talking squeaky geek nice guy traits either.

2 parts nice guy
2 part superman
1 part leaves her alone.

If you want an extra nice guy, well, most likely you will sacrifice the “leaves her alone” part and he will be clingy and needy. Sorry

4 parts nice guy
1 part superman
0 part leaves her alone.

Dropping the physical totally will leave you flat.. that will either go to needy clingy guy or to self absorbed mental guy that really doesn’t pay much attention to you as much as the tv…

3 parts nice guy
0 part superman
2 part leaves her alone.

So, this is my contribution to the meaning of life and love and relationships. A women wants:
3 parts nice guy
1 part superman
1 part leaves her alone.

What specific things they mean are different to all.


Fair enough?



{edit} BTW... I KEPT SEX OUT OF IT
 Sardonis
Joined: 9/28/2007
Msg: 242
Do men really know what Women Want???????
Posted: 8/4/2008 12:27:26 AM
Every woman is different.

I just want a woman who wants me as much as I want her. Everything else should work itself out.
 DebraTheDeepThinker
Joined: 6/3/2006
Msg: 243
Do men really know what Women Want???????
Posted: 8/4/2008 1:48:46 AM
In response to sardonis, good response! You want a "woman who wants you as much as you want her" is very well put. I like that. I guess that gets down to the crux of what this question means for each person. For me, when someone asks "what do women want?" all I can really do is give them answer as to what I, as a woman, and as a person wants: that is to be happy! Isn't that what motivates everyone to do what they do? Well, ok, most people any way, lol.
 RideATrucker
Joined: 6/16/2008
Msg: 244
Do men really know what Women Want???????
Posted: 8/4/2008 1:51:24 AM
Ok, I hate to say it.............Or mebbe I don't.
Sweetthang100 sounds absolutely wonderful! Now I need to find one like her, but closer to my age group and mebbe a lil more within reach. ;)

If it's known "What Men Want"....It's only because we make it blatantly obvious!
However, I will agree that not every man wants EXACTLY the same thing. Every guy has different needs and will be looking for someone to fill those needs. Guy A, may want and need more affection and PDA than Guy B. Guy C, Doesn't want the complications of a relationship, just wants to get his rocks off. Guy D, may have come out of a serious relationship and isn't quite sure what he wants or needs, but doesn't want to be alone either. These guys could run the entire alphabet. Keep something else in mind. Men's needs change, just like women's needs change.
What may have started out as "just fun" could turn into something serious if that connection beyond "fun" is established and mutually felt.
I usually say, "Don't discount anyone that you may have an ounce of interest in"! You just never know what could become of it!
Generally, however, we do want a pornstar in the bedroom. But, that dingy, blonde bombshell, space cadet with the Fran Drescher voice is only so useful to a man and has a limited shelf-life. LOL!
So, if he's anything more than pond scum....he's interested in you for lot more than sex and what you can do for him, physically.
 SapphirePoet
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 245
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Do men really know what Women Want???????
Posted: 8/4/2008 6:20:11 AM
Okay so I guess that wasn't good enough?

When I say we want to be loved for ourselves and not what we can do for you, I certainly did not mean love me and leave me alone and I won't do anything for you and you won't do anything for me. How did you get that?
No, what it means is love me for me, not who YOU want me to be, not for what I can do for YOU.
If you do that then I will want to love and nurture and be there for you and do all those wonderful things you want.
However I will not be doing them out of obligation, I will be doing it because I love you and want to make you smile.

Kind of like men who like to buy a woman dinner but don't like it if a woman expects him to.

All woman are different and want different things.

Nobody likes to be told what we want or how we feel, or worse yet that we are so clueless that we don't have any idea what we want!

When you guys say that it feels like women bashing to me.

I know exactly what I want and am very specific in my profile.

And vulf is right, definately Chocolate!
 Aries0328
Joined: 1/19/2008
Msg: 246
Do men really know what Women Want???????
Posted: 8/4/2008 8:41:01 AM
Obviously I did this because I am easily distracted and it was amusing to me for a little while. Also I kind of think there is a bit of truth to it.

As RideATrucker says, women know what men want because we make it blatantly obvious. Now, what may not be obvious is the intangible and unexplainable qualities of individuals but in the physical world it is hardly a question of what guys want. It is not the only thing. But really, it is an actionable item with real world easily understandable results.

As SapphirePoet points out what she is looking for is intangible. It cannot be seen or demonstrated through dating. You cannot love someone for themselves in the early parts of dating. It is her feelings about if she can accept those feelings from you only after you meet other unknown qualifications which most likely are physical. (Sorry didn't read your profile)

The other thing where I think people would reject most of what I said is that there is something important missing. The excitement and risk. I left out the 'bad boy' trait. I didn't do it on purpose... I just didn't think about it until this morning, I am way to easily distracted.

However, it still isn't right because honestly I don't know if that is an actual trait that women really want or if it is only the appearance and hints but not actually the real type.

Would you want someone that

doesn't get mad
has the appearance that they could get mad
really gets mad

doesn’t steal
has the appearance that they could steal
really steals

doesn't hurt others
has the appearance that the could hurt others
has/will hurt others

Would you want the killer teddy bear or the teddy bear killer? There is a big difference.

So, consider it the superman power trait. Add to it and your leaning towards jail time, take away from it and you’re looking at timid.

All I am saying is not that women need to be told what they want. What I am hinting at is you should spend some time critically/logically thinking about the type of guy that you really do want and put some words to it. That way, when you do find someone physically attractive enough to get you going you have something of value to communicate in what your looking for rather then than, "Love me for who I am.". Because most want that and it hasn't gotten us anywhere. It's not like you can bring that up over your first coffee meeting now is it.

And I can't say that I apologize for putting in more than 30 seconds considering what it is that women want. And yes, it is offensive to woman because it really seems like it is saying that woman do not think for themselves and do not know what they want. And my answer is... Put it into words that reflect the years on earth that you have spent.

Ok, now that’s out of my system. Time for work.
 samstyles
Joined: 3/23/2008
Msg: 247
Do men really know what Women Want???????
Posted: 8/4/2008 10:40:49 AM
I want A daft princess flop! In no particular order if I try and sum it up, today atleast (lol) what I want in a man reads like this;

Attractive - Looks after himself, and preferably at least as tall as me.

Dependable - Living by his professed values and what he says.
Accepting - Not to be blind to my faults, but to the fact that they are faults!
Friendly - To get on with my kids, family and friends.
Tarty - I love to flirt and be flirted with, and not just for the first 5mins!

Physical - I like the touchy feely stuff, I like to be held and to feel close in every way.
Respectful - To want and give respect within the relationship and not forget too many of the little things that he'd do to show it in the beginning as time went on.
Independent - Having interests and friends of his own that keep him interesting.
Needy - Without being hung off my apron strings, I want to feel desired and needed, to feel like he enjoys his life more for having me in it and letting me contribute.
Clever - Enough not to need to get physical in protecting us, to challenge me and work with me on my level.
Empathetic - Having the ability to put himself in my shoes and understand where Im coming from, listening to me in every way to help put himself there so we can reach healthy compromises
Strong - Physically having the ability/demeanour to make me feel he's some protection, to satisfy my more submissive side, emotionally strong enough to be able to take my help and support, and to return it when I need it, and to enjoy letting me satisfy my dominant side.
Secure - Enough to give me the same independence as I want for him.

Fun - Not a comedian necessarily but able to make me laugh, or laugh at himself with me!
Loopy - Spontaneous and silly when we can be.
Open - Lets me know honestly what is going on his mind and where he thinks we're at without making me feel overly needy for asking
Proud - Ambitious enough to take pride in his chosen career, and more importantly in taking responsibility for honestly attaining what he wants and paying his way, self disciplined enough to manage it. Also to want to take his share of chores in the home and take pride in that too.

In a way I hope I never find him because I'd feel very inadequate next to him!!!
 V4Vivacious
Joined: 9/24/2007
Msg: 248
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Do men really know what Women Want???????
Posted: 8/4/2008 10:48:36 AM
do any of us really know what the other wants?

NO... not unless we communicate it!
 Sardonis
Joined: 9/28/2007
Msg: 249
Do men really know what Women Want???????
Posted: 8/4/2008 10:52:56 AM

In response to sardonis, good response! You want a "woman who wants you as much as you want her" is very well put. I like that. I guess that gets down to the crux of what this question means for each person. For me, when someone asks "what do women want?" all I can really do is give them answer as to what I, as a woman, and as a person wants: that is to be happy! Isn't that what motivates everyone to do what they do? Well, ok, most people any way, lol.


I love it when people agree with me.

And as you say what everyone wants is to be happy, well put.
 Aries0328
Joined: 1/19/2008
Msg: 250
Do men really know what Women Want???????
Posted: 8/4/2008 11:16:22 AM

I love it when people agree with me.
And as you say what everyone wants is to be happy, well put.


Haha, I like it when people don't agree with me sometimes.

Wanting to be happy is almost as meaningless as wanting world peace. Even Satanists believe they want happiness. They just have an alternative process for achieving it. However, you have to at least give them credit for having a process.

You don't have to know what will give you happiness in the end to have a clue about what makes you happy, but stating that "I just want to be happy" is meaningless and empty. A good response to that is, "Great, let me know when you reach Nirvana. Bye."

Happiness is not what motivates everyone to do what they do. Mostly it is things that are contrary to happiness. Mostly what motivates people is that they do what they have to do to get by. People leaning towards exceptional do things that lead toward being happy. It is additional work. If you want to be happy then I hope you know what will lead you there. If it is just an idea that you think is right. Put it into words. You then have something to work with.

I really need to stop screwing around and get some work done :-)
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