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kmhstx
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Joined: 8/23/2005
Msg: 27 | |
| Would you date a man if he was unemployed and living with his parents?
Posted: 11/6/2005 4:06:21 AM | meintool
I think you don't fall in to the category of men most of us are refering to. You are doing fantastic, and at only 19. The Origional post is refering to men in their late 20s and up that are jobless and living with their parents. YOU HAVE a job we can see that, you have goals that you are achieving, you have ambition, and can take care of yourself. and you are only 19 years old.
YOu ROCK
Now can you see where alot of us other women are coming from when we have worked hard, have good jobs, have been living on our own, and paying our bills for years. Can you see why a women (or yes a man if the genders were reversed) would not want to date a man in his 30's who still lived at home, paid no or minimal rent, and had no job, and no motivation to get a job because for some reason his parents haven't kicked his lazy A$$ out. A man that sits at home and plays video games all day. I have met several men like this..nice guys sure, even attractive, BUT not going to happen if they have no abmition for themselves.
Now if the man is at home and unemployed because his parents are ill and they need care, thats something else. Or if he's laid off, and looking for employment thats something else again. There are exceptions, but there has to be a good reason.
I honestly don't think any woman would out you meintool into this category. | |
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| Would you date a man if he was unemployed and living with his parents?
Posted: 11/6/2005 4:35:27 AM | | Nope! I could probably handle living with the parents if he was helping them out, or being a caregiver, as these days our parents are getting older and a lot are requiring care...but, unless the person is very sick, or has a disability of some kind, there is no excuse not to be working at some kind of job! | |
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| Would you date a man if he was unemployed and living with his parents?
Posted: 11/6/2005 4:37:09 AM | Musikmaster got it right.
Men are unemployed for many more reasons than women are - such as, they tend to stand up to bullying employers, they know their rights and insist employers follow the labour code, and they get dumped after investing their life savings and emotional well-being in a partner who is shallow, manipulative, and self-serving.
My parents are dead, but they would help me if they were around, and though I am now employed, any shallow gossipy female who passed judgement on my acceptance of help without knowing me, would not be on my list of potential partners.
Get real. He has to have a car?!!! He is worthless unless he can pollute the air and chauffeur your lazy ass around? I don't think so. | |
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| Would you date a man if he was unemployed and living with his parents?
Posted: 11/6/2005 5:43:57 AM | "Get real. He has to have a car?!!! He is worthless unless he can pollute the air and chauffeur your lazy ass around? I don't think so. "
I don't know the reason, but certainly in my experience a lot of women seem to think that owning a car is de rigueur or they won't date you. I don't own a car primarily because they are expensive to own and maintain, and if I owned one it would put a serious dent into my goal of retiring before I am too old to enjoy the time off.
One woman tried to explain to me that cars = freedom. I told her that to me cars = working hundreds of extra hours per year just for the privilege of owning them. How is enforced labour freedom?!  | |
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| Would you date a man if he was unemployed and living with his parents?
Posted: 11/6/2005 5:54:09 AM | One woman tried to explain to me that cars = freedom. I told her that to me cars = working hundreds of extra hours per year just for the privilege of owning them. How is enforced labour freedom?!
Right on!
Drive to work, work to drive. So many people are enslaved by posessions and don't even know it. | |
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| Would you date a man if he was unemployed and living with his parents?
Posted: 11/6/2005 10:20:18 AM | If he is self-supporting, I think he gets to make his own rules.
To all of you folks who are getting frustrated because you have or can think of a good reason a guy should be living with his folks...I'm pretty sure we aren't talking about you.
I think we are talking about the guys living w/ mommy and daddy because it's comfy and even tho, they are pushing 40 - they still haven't developed a passion or even a rudimentary method of self-reliance.
Not the good guys who have had a set back through no fault of their own, the guys who are saving to work towards their future, or the guys who have already put in their sweat and are now due to take it easy. | |
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| Would you date a man if he was unemployed and living with his parents?
Posted: 11/6/2005 10:42:03 AM |
If he is self-supporting, I think he gets to make his own rules.
To all of you folks who are getting frustrated because you have or can think of a good reason a guy should be living with his folks...I'm pretty sure we aren't talking about you.
I think we are talking about the guys living w/ mommy and daddy because it's comfy and even tho, they are pushing 40 - they still haven't developed a passion or even a rudimentary method of self-reliance.
Not the good guys who have had a set back through no fault of their own, the guys who are saving to work towards their future, or the guys who have already put in their sweat and are now due to take it easy.
That is exactly what this thread was about! By all means we all have our rough times in life and sometimes need to look for help, be it from our parents, social services etc. And to the younger posters in here...this thread was not directed to you at all....when you are younger you do have much more to struggle thru to get established and there is nothing wrong with that. There comes a point in life though, where if you want someone to really look at you as "relationship" material, you have to show some sort of motivation. Mind you, there may be people out there where it is not important to them...nothing wrong with that and if they can live with it...to each their own.
By working and supporting yourself, you show to another that you care about you life and value it. You know what its like to have worked hard for you money and value the little things in life much more. If you have set yourself up that you don't have to work anymore....cudo's to you...heck that shows even more to me then someone that is working. Shows that you worked your butt off even more so you could enjoy your life ...heck don't we all want to get to that point eventually!!! | |
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ksue44
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Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 34 | |
| Would you date a man if he was unemployed and living with his parents?
Posted: 11/6/2005 11:15:43 AM | Ooh Musik - is there a twinge of bitterness there? It's one thing if a fella or a gal is in their early 20's and living at home. Hopefully, it isn't rent free, and hopefully their parents are making them do chores! Life isn't a free ride. By the same token, the wise parents will lay down ground rules and a time frame for their child to hit the road, it may be 3 months or 6 months. Parents shouldn't be raising their children forever, nor should they be landlords or ATM's.
Once you're in your 30's and older, it is time to get it together. One of the posts mentioned if the parents are elderly, handicap, or ill, that would be a whole different story, but that isn't how the OP posted their thread. Sure, everyone falls on tough times, but there are far too many folks out there sponging off their parents, girlfriends/boyfriends, or even spouses. I don't wish hard times on anybody. I've been fired from a job, I've been laid off, and I've quit a job willingly. I've been out on my own since 18 years old, and by golly, if I can do it, so can everyone else that isn't mentally or physically challenged. It's called owning up to your responsibilities and taking charge of your own life. | |
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| Would you date a man if he was unemployed and living with his parents?
Posted: 11/6/2005 2:40:06 PM | Musik, your wish came true... I just became a single parent in the last 2 years, moved 2000 miles with my daughter ((her and I taking turns driving), and not one thing has been easy....It took me 4 months to find a job, did not have a place to live when we first moved back, I got really sick about 4 months ago, and the docs aren't sure where I contracted it ((viral hepatitis)), but I work in a county hospital, which could be the culprit. My ex quit making payments on the vehicle I had without telling me, and that got repossessed and he couldn't afford to pay all of the fees for 2 months... But--I'm still here. My parents keep begging me to move back home with them, or closer to them at least (they're about 1800 miles away)... Only if I'm on my death bed, which I thought I was all summer.. But~~I'm back to being my "mean self"... so, I"m sticking with my original plan, which is to live my life the way I choose~~~ ((My parents mean well, and they're always there if I need help)).. no matter how bad I might screw up once in a while.. Guess they know me by now  | |
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| Would you date a man if he was unemployed and living with his parents?
Posted: 11/6/2005 10:51:15 PM | my last boyfriend was 25.
he hadn't had a job in over a year.
while he didn't live with his parents, he lived in his parent's house (THEY moved out because he WOULDN'T.)
his parents bought him groceries once a week.
CARTONS UPON CARTONS of light name-brand cigarettes.
dog food.
satallite tv.
at least 4 $100 gas cards a month.
utilities.
car insurance.
...EVERYTHING.
they couldn't even trust him enough to give him cash-- they knew he'd spend it on weed.
Somehow he convinced me that he needed $150 cash... for something ridiculously phony-sounding. but i'm a nice girlfriend, and i try to trust people, so i loaned him the money.
. . . . don't ask me why, because i don't have a clue myself, but i was with him for almost 6 months.
i finally had to fire him when he responded to my suggestion that he get a job working with me as a telephone surveyer by saying "i couldn't ever do that job. it's so pointless and worthless. i'd hate myself too much. honestly, if you called me from work with one of these surveys, i'd hang up on you. working there would be worse than not working at all."
...that was 8 months ago.
...i've given up on any hope that i might someday get my money back.
In truth, i'm just glad to be rid of him.
Never again.
Not for anything.
There's nothing worse than a DEADBEAT SPONGE. | |
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| Would you date a man if he was unemployed and living with his parents?
Posted: 11/7/2005 7:35:39 AM | Would I date a Man with no job and lived with his parents?
I'm marrying one. When I met my fiancee he was unemployed and living with his foster parents, we are now living together, yet both are unemployed. We still manage to pay the bills, run the car, and have fun! | |
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| Would you date a man if he was unemployed and living with his parents?
Posted: 11/7/2005 10:24:45 AM | Ummm...living at home...well..that is ok as long as you have moving out a HIGH Priority!! lol...the unemployed part...that's up for discussion too. If he's sitting on his bum doing nothing and just mooching off of Mom and Dad...then forget it. If he just got layed off but has already put out his resume and is seeking employment..then probably...if he's decided that he is sick of being a Car Salesman and wants to go back to school for Physical Therapy to help the handicapped and the elderly...Then of course I would date him...lol...
Basically, it's all up for discussion....lol..Show a little motivation and most things can be compromised on. | |
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sddude
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Joined: 11/4/2004
Msg: 43 | |
| Would you date a man if he was unemployed and living with his parents?
Posted: 11/7/2005 10:45:50 AM | Changing the view on the other hand
Wow guys are so different , most would not care , or at least I and all my friends would not care if the girl lived with her parents , did not have a job or a car .
You call it the drive to grow in society , more like the potential to aquire material possesions that you may enjoy later . Man with potential is actually about material .
Not bashing, just an observation .
Women have that interest built in since the begining of time , no matter how successful a woman can be , she looks for a suitor with potential to aquire material .
Even in these forums at different posts, most women have mentioned this fact of having him as equal economic worth or greater , maybe it is also related to the genetic trait of wanting a man of equal, or most preferable , taller in size
I guess it is still inate for the women to look for someone that is worth something to their expectations in a material sense even though it is claimed that it is the personality and drive that counts , drive to have material .
It may stem from the feeling of vulnerability when pregnant and raising children ?
This is just an observation and a thought . | |
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| Would you date a man if he was unemployed and living with his parents?
Posted: 11/7/2005 11:02:01 AM | ^^^Sddude
I really don't think wanting someone with a little ambition in life is materialistic. The simple fact is that this isn't the past where the man was supposed to provide and women were supposed to stay home and raise a basketball team of kids....You need two incomes today in most places to have even a starter home, let alone provide in a way that is at least comfortable. I don't think comfort means: european vacations, trips to the spa..expensive clothes..etc....I think comfortable means having a roof over your head that doesn't leak and a car that you don't have to pray to everyday to get it started. Just your basic needs are expensive now-a-days and you need two incomes to get ahead. | |
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| Would you date a man if he was unemployed and living with his parents?
Posted: 11/7/2005 11:27:44 AM | | tomorrow^^^....what exactly is your disagreement? I live in an area that is not cheap at all. Most single family homes around this area go for over 300k..two incomes are definitely needed. And basic needs are expensive. The cost of food, utilities, gas, clothing...goes up a little every year it seems. | |
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| Would you date a man if he was unemployed and living with his parents?
Posted: 11/7/2005 12:16:50 PM | | Well it would have to depend on the situtation,for one i do not judge anyone or think i am better than anyone as a matterafact i live with my parents and i have kids ,see if a person don't know the circumstances and i understand yalls reasons but this question needs to apply to women to,because men think we suppose to have the perfect eduction,perfect job and car and its just doesn't work that way all the time plus they want a sista wit her own home and some don't even want you to have damn kids so all i have to say is not in my situation but im not againgst it if i was employed or something.The blind leading the blind no thats not good. | |
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sddude
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Joined: 11/4/2004
Msg: 48 | |
| Would you date a man if he was unemployed and living with his parents?
Posted: 11/7/2005 12:17:11 PM | i live in one of the most expensive places in the usa , an old 2 bedroom home costs over 500k in my area , gas, the most expensive in the country , some at 3 bucks a gallon . Still the men I know do not care if the women is employed or not , but you are right, one needs to see that money is needed and is a factor if the relationship moves into the realm of marriage and family .
Even though most women here said they do not care about the money a man has , it actually does , you supported that but in a very domestic and very practical view , I support that but yesss
money is still a factor even in poor places in the country or places in the world .money talks , women raise their brows.
Most guys just want a pleasant girl , that looks pleasant with a pleasant personality , who cares if she has no job or car.
I am guilty of finding jobs for women I meet, only if they need and want one otherwise I still take them out . If I had it hard maybe I would only be interested in a women that had a job and a career to help me support a family if looking for a wife was my initial objective , but in life , getting to know the "good" one and then moving on to the next level of the relationship is in the interest not what she represents in success and money in society . | |
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| Would you date a man if he was unemployed and living with his parents?
Posted: 11/7/2005 7:49:47 PM | sence I'm a guy I really reply but I Said It wouldn't matter if the girl was living at home or not.
in school or out of school,or had a job or not. life is short i've seen family die, i've seen friend die. to me it not all about the money or the house.. I don't understand all this he must have a car, a job etc etc etc" ... I would reather make less money and come home to my wife and kids. with them saying how was your day daddy and help her cook dinner, then be bogged down with a expensive job.. etc etc moeny for me is not happyness....
here people are oh my man will need this and that, and do this and that. but no one can't even think of short coming. think about over sea where people have to bath in dirty river water, or hardly have no clothes. think about people with disabilitys or have no hands or arms. some people just can't think, and it makes me sick.. it shouldn't be about how much a guy/girl makes,where she lives, who she lives with,or what type of job she/he has. it should be about what type of person that person is on the inside...
me, I may fall in to this so called guy catorgy,maybe not but oh well 
I'm 23 living with a affective disorder and currently unemployed my parents help me out.
please some one tell me at 23 how people can afford to pay rental on a apartment or house, and make payments on a car or pay car insurance,pay for health etc insurance and medaction all on there own? see we all have are reasons... if a man got to have this and that just to be able to date yeah. I bet your the type of woman the man doesn't want to know. | |
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| Would you date a man if he was unemployed and living with his parents?
Posted: 11/7/2005 11:16:59 PM | I wouldn't date a man if he was unemployed living with his parents. I wouldn't even date a man who made 10 million a year playing baseball or basketball, I don't swing that way, rotflmfao!
Now, I have a question for you? Would you date a woman who was unemployed and lived at home with her parents? (this is gonna be mulitiple choice, lol) Or would you date a woman who makes 200,000 per year as a CEO for microsoft? | |
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