Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Would you date a man if he was unemployed and living with his parents?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 The01Exception
Joined: 12/31/2007
Msg: 101
view profile
History
Would you date a man if he was unemployed and living with his parents?Page 5 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
I agree with you OP for the following reason:

Should our relationship reach the level of marriage and we then have kids, and I should become incapacitated for any reason and am therefore rendered unable to work, then he needs to work and be able to provide for the lifestyle that I want myself and my children to have. So0o0o, at the time that I meet him, if he's not doing anything with his life and he's mooching off of his parents, I can't very well expect him to do anything if I were unable to support us and THAT makes him worthless .
 JasonGrimm
Joined: 6/9/2008
Msg: 102
Would you date a man if he was unemployed and living with his parents?
Posted: 6/23/2008 1:03:44 PM
Tell me what you think about me. I have my own businesses.

I live with my parents for maybe a few more months because I'm moving to Boston. I don't have a car, because I'm moving to Boston and won't need a car like many people in New York who don't have a car because they live in NY where traffic is nuts and everyone uses the subway. (You should see my old car I sold!)

It's so funny when people assume I'm broke because I have no car and live with my parents. I pay for my food and help pay the bills. I have a the biggest gold chain in the city. Nice clothes which some still have tags on them. I I can walk up to the Honda dealership nearby and buy a brand new Honda Civic with cash. My only stupidity is that I spent $2000 on my ex because she barely had a job and a home but I thought her to be a good person and I wanted to help her. So I paid for most of what we did. She couldn't save a dollar but when she did have money she did pay some. So I thought she was genuine. Then of course I found out the truth from a mutual friend and we found out that she was not so nice after all.

I'm Portuguese and normally, traditionally, we are supposed to stay home, meet a nice girl, get married and buy a house. (I have enough money to put down on a house right now) But I'm 29 and it didn't work out that way even though I came close with a 4 year relationship. Now I'm trying to move to Boston but I don't want to move in with a roommate I never met i.e. Roommate finder, Craig's list. My life is great all I need is that special someone.

Sorry if I came out sounding with an ego or overconfident but I just want to state my story so that other woman may read it and not assume every guy that lives with his parents is no good. You can see that some of the guys are a little bitter and jumping in defense mode so it's not just me lol Like some said, it depends on the circumstances and reasons.

P/S My brother lives at home too! Because his exgirlfriend who he has a 5 year old niece with, cheated and got pregnant by someone I thought was a good friend. They had a duplex but now it's all gone after the breakup which also brokeup a nice family. He has a new Lexus, gets paid a lot of money, and has a nice new girlfriend.
 EbonyJo
Joined: 6/8/2008
Msg: 103
Would you date a man if he was unemployed and living with his parents?
Posted: 6/24/2008 3:54:52 PM
HELL NAW!!!!! Do you really even have to ask a question like that these days? I mean, come on!! Too many negatives.
 MetalVixxn
Joined: 4/4/2007
Msg: 104
view profile
History
Would you date a man if he was unemployed and living with his parents?
Posted: 6/24/2008 4:22:51 PM
Those are the only men I date!
j/k.
It has seemed like that at times...
 She_Biscuit
Joined: 6/4/2008
Msg: 105
Would you date a man if he was unemployed and living with his parents?
Posted: 6/24/2008 4:59:46 PM
My thoughts on the situations is that life can throw rocks in any ones way, a time or two, and if living with the parents is an open option that helps one to get back on their feet and that is their main purpose for doing so, then I could see a good purpose. But if that particular person is working as a sponge in wanting others to float their boat for them, with no shown efforts put into accomplishing self goals to be able to stand on their own, then no way would I go there, because simply put, they would not be mature enough to hold my interest. Another thing is, dating someone who lives at the parents house is not just dating that one person. You had better be able to get along with the parents to, because you'll be seeing them as much as you'll be seeing the person your dating. Strange, just to weird, if your over twenty.
 mr_normal_guy
Joined: 6/6/2008
Msg: 106
view profile
History
Would you date a man if he was unemployed and living with his parents?
Posted: 6/28/2008 5:10:16 AM
Lets look at this from another angle.

I am a recently separated man, for a couple of months I went back to my parents before finding a new apartment. I have a good job and always have.

For many years I supported my wife when she was too poorly to work, I had no problem with this and when her health improved she returned to work, though after many years.

So now I am single again and looking around for someone, hence the reason I am on here.

I am looking for an independent woman who works for a living, don't mind if she has children but wouldn't be interested in a stay at home mum, why would I?

I think it is a basic thing, if I love you and we have been in a relationship for many years, I will support you, but there is no way I would start out with someone new in that position.
 Just A Country Gal
Joined: 3/5/2008
Msg: 107
Would you date a man if he was unemployed and living with his parents?
Posted: 6/28/2008 6:01:18 AM
That depends on the situation. Are they out of a job because it's their choice? Do they live with mom and dad because it's their choice? Probably wouldn't start anything with them in that case BUT.....

Anyone of us could find ourselves in a situation where we lost our job due to layoffs, illness etc. and had no choice but to depend on family to help us through a hard time. A vast majority of Americans are only a few weeks/months away from being out of a home. Sometimes living in certain regions of the country make it difficult to go out and find new employment immediately.

Put the shoe on the other foot, how would you feel if you hit that same bump in the road and the person you cared about said "Sorry, you're worthless now"?
 Spida36
Joined: 2/21/2008
Msg: 108
Would you date a man if he was unemployed and living with his parents?
Posted: 6/28/2008 12:06:15 PM
I dated a guy last year who lived with his parents...he did have a job...was 46 years old.. never married...and was going to live with his parents for the rest of his life..I dont think he knew what independance was!...Never Again!
 Mellen29
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 109
Would you date a man if he was unemployed and living with his parents?
Posted: 6/28/2008 5:35:56 PM
Sounds like GEORGE COSTANZA from Seinfeld...
 Kindhearted66
Joined: 6/28/2007
Msg: 110
Would you date a man if he was unemployed and living with his parents?
Posted: 6/28/2008 7:34:54 PM
If I was unemployed and living with my parents, I would be looking for a job (which I would treat like a job), and once I got a job, I would be looking for a place to live before trying to get a girlfriend.

I can't imagine how embarrassing it would be to meet a lady, and have to answer the question of ....What do you do?...or Where do you live? If I had no job, and lived with mommy.

I'm not trying to judge others. I know the economy is bad, and I'm thankful to have a great job, and a nice place to live. I work my ass off, as if they were going to cut jobs, so that I would be the last one standing in that event. But that's just me....I'm afraid to not work as hard as I can.. I like working hard.
 wutznot2love
Joined: 11/16/2007
Msg: 111
Would you date a man if he was unemployed and living with his parents?
Posted: 6/28/2008 10:41:34 PM
Absolutely not in a million years. Where I live, only a lazy man couldn't find himself a good paying job - construction, oil patch - to at least carry him while searching for something in his field.

Like a lot of women, I've worked very hard to get where I am and there were times years ago when I didn't make half of what I make now; and times were tough - but running home to Mommy & Daddy was not even a consideration -- and I'd want to be with someone who was of the same mindset. Life isn't always easy and you have to save for a rainy day -- and sometimes you have to bust your hump to get through the tough times as opposed to running back home to mooch off your parents (I'm talking guys in their 30s/40s).

Get your arse out there and pound the pavement and find a job, and be the adult that you are supposed to be.
 Darknight1984
Joined: 8/7/2007
Msg: 112
view profile
History
Would you date a man if he was unemployed and living with his parents?
Posted: 6/29/2008 6:10:55 AM
Some people have no option but to live with there parents. Of course you would not know about that because you have such a narrow minded view.
 BC_Explorer
Joined: 8/30/2007
Msg: 113
Would you date a man if he was unemployed and living with his parents?
Posted: 6/29/2008 9:36:31 PM
I notice a lot of women are using the word ambition in this thread. So a man 18-20 that moves out for his first job at walmart scrapping enough by to rent a basement is more ambitious than someone in their late 20's living at home going to school and/or gaining work experience to get into a desired field and perhaps BUY a place? I can sort of see why some guys are getting annoyed at this topic it really doesn't take a lot of factors into account and gives a pretty gross generalization of men living at home. (PS I am not talking about men in their 40's+ that is their own issue I just noticed some women cracking down on guys in the 25-30 range)
 oshan
Joined: 5/11/2008
Msg: 114
Would you date a man if he was unemployed and living with his parents?
Posted: 6/29/2008 9:38:00 PM
Nope...not for all the tea in China!!
 _Red_
Joined: 12/14/2006
Msg: 115
Would you date a man if he was unemployed and living with his parents?
Posted: 6/29/2008 9:41:08 PM
Living with his parents, yes. Unemployed, no.

If the living with the parents part was for good reason, such as post divorce, lost his business or something of that nature.
 indehills
Joined: 2/23/2008
Msg: 116
Would you date a man if he was unemployed and living with his parents?
Posted: 6/29/2008 9:47:37 PM
Why do all of these negative threads have to be aimed at men?

I dated a woman for two years who was a single mother, unemployed, and lived with her mother. She's 31.

I met two women here when I first signed up. One was 29, employed, and living with her parents. The other was 35, unemployed, one child, and living with her parents.

So before pointing the fingers at the men, know that women are doing this, too, and just as much as the men are.
 lucilou
Joined: 3/18/2006
Msg: 117
view profile
History
Would you date a man if he was unemployed and living with his parents?
Posted: 6/29/2008 10:08:52 PM
Living with the single parent- yes. I know a man who is a lawyer who is on the 50's and still live with the mother. She is single mother, he is still with her because he is the only one she got, no husband and no other family. He has a job, his mom is retired and dont have income, he is 100% supporting her. I dont think there's something wrong with loving his mom an helping her out. With no job? no I wouldnt date him, unless he is in the process of changing job for better job.
Some guys live with thier parents because they want to help their parent in paying the mortgage, kinda like you have a room mate to split the rental payment to save some money.
 MREZA
Joined: 7/23/2007
Msg: 118
Would you date a man if he was unemployed and living with his parents?
Posted: 6/29/2008 10:22:57 PM
well it all depends on the situation and the character of the person....also culture....

did you know in the hispanic culture or mediterreanen culture people move out of the house really late ....? only after having 4 kids .....


its only a recent trend with the anglo-american culture you find the moving out of the nest ...etc etc ....

but the hispanic culture is the fastest growing population in the US....

another question is homelessness......


there is alot of foreclosures , divorces, lawsuits, and homelessness...

so sometimes having a stable family to support you and back you up is a safety net in society....

otherwise , people who arent ambitious and taking advantage of mom/dad doesnt show respect to mom/dad.....
 MREZA
Joined: 7/23/2007
Msg: 119
Would you date a man if he was unemployed and living with his parents?
Posted: 6/29/2008 10:31:16 PM
with the high foreclosure rates, there is alot of divorces and homelessness....

its time for people in america to face up to reality like the fragility of the system here in the
United States.....

If family members are supporting one another in a time of crisis whether its financial or emotional, wow i think thats a step to stability from a selfish consumer society into a productive altrusitic society.....
 lucilou
Joined: 3/18/2006
Msg: 120
view profile
History
Would you date a man if he was unemployed and living with his parents?
Posted: 6/30/2008 8:22:56 AM
I agree with you MREZA, I would take a room mate if they need a place to stay that they can afford, helping one another is rewarding, help people untill they can stand on their own 2 feet. Nothing wrong with that. lucilou
 Ameerra
Joined: 6/27/2008
Msg: 121
Would you date a man if he was unemployed and living with his parents?
Posted: 6/30/2008 6:21:45 PM
See the thing is, how do you know if a person is responsible?

culturally there people who live with their parents and take care of them well into their old age.

There are people who are "self-employed" so it may seem like they are unemployed.

Unfortunately, that's not the losers most of us women run into.

I ran into a "man" on here who like Mr. Boston up above said he'd just moved into the city, was living with friends, was an entrepreneaur, et cetera. Even showed me the website and merchandise he was selling.

Turns out this person had been living the bohemian life style for quite a while, right back to his foster care days.

When someone is used to just "helping" others out and has never stood on their own two feet they come into a relationship with a lot of entitlement issues and dependency issues, IMO.

I want a man in my life, not a little boy.

Plus, what about the parents being all up in your business?
 CutTheCrapola
Joined: 11/3/2007
Msg: 122
view profile
History
Would you date a man if he was unemployed and living with his parents?
Posted: 7/4/2008 1:02:34 AM
Well oshan,what about boston tea then?
 sexy_eyez234
Joined: 6/13/2008
Msg: 123
Would you date a man if he was unemployed and living with his parents?
Posted: 7/4/2008 1:40:28 AM
i have done it before and it is no good i personally suggest that you go find a job for him and tell him to get out of his parents house and grow up it is normal to be living with your parents over the age of 21.

what you do if he don't go and get a job:

you lock him out of the house until he goes and atleast tries to find one
you find a job for him
or dump him

what you do if he wont get out of his parents house:

tell his parents to pack his shit and tell them he is moving in with you
threaten that you will dump his lazy ass if he don't get out of there
and if he doesn't like it hes not worth it so dump him find someone better


good luck girls
 bella4you
Joined: 6/28/2008
Msg: 124
Would you date a man if he was unemployed and living with his parents?
Posted: 7/4/2008 1:47:24 PM
Absolutly not!!!!!!!!!
 iowadoc
Joined: 3/19/2008
Msg: 125
view profile
History
Would you date a man if he was unemployed and living with his parents?
Posted: 7/4/2008 6:14:25 PM
From a man's perspective a job and a home of their own are two musts for me.I have a coworker that makes alot of money but is constantly shopping and has to share an apartment with others.She doesn't have a garage but has sport cars and motorcycles under tarps in the driveway of the place she shares.She makes close to 100,000 a year but would be bankrupt in a few months if she ever got fired.

While she is attractive not a single guy that knows her would dare ask her out because of the fear that she might sleep over once and never leave.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Would you date a man if he was unemployed and living with his parents?