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| Nice guys finish last, are you one?
Posted: 11/6/2005 10:19:45 AM | Hey Justin, you said it best bud! A girl wants someone to challenge them mentally, not be some wishy washy guy that will let you walk all over them. Believe me, if you are too nice ( and I dont mean that in a derogatory way) your just looking to be taken advantage of. And thats kinda crappy, but seems to be human nature. I think most girls are looking for someone who appears strong, confident, knows what the want in life and not afraid to go after it. But not too**** that they dont realize how to please the woman that they are with.
Cracked's post was so long that it seemed like he had been in that position with this girl for a very long time, probably wishing things would change, but she just got used to him being there for her....... | |
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| Nice guys finish last, are you one?
Posted: 11/6/2005 10:32:38 AM | I agree with Justin completely - don't go changing who you are just because you can't meet a woman because you have labelled yourself and live up to that label - of a "nice guy". If you continue to label yourself that, live in your boxed up world with no back bone or courage to cross that barrier - successful or not - then you will always be a doormat, someone where both MEN and WOMEN will treat that way. It's not a gender specific issue!
Be true to yourself - stop putting pressure on yourselves to meet that someone - live your life and yes, it's OK to be selfish without being self-serving - and you'll see what will happen. Rip that freakin label off and start living up to your true potential and self. So what if it pisses people off - why are "you" so worried all the time about other people's feelings - cause obviously - they aren't concerned about yours!!! And besides - "you" teach people how to treat "you" - you enable them each and everytime to treat you the way it was described above.
This isn't directed at you personally Dragongaze - but in general - to all those who complain about being labelled and live up to that label of nice guy/girl. | |
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angelp
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Joined: 10/29/2005
Msg: 29 | |
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| Nice guys finish last, are you one?
Posted: 11/6/2005 2:24:20 PM | look, what im trying to say is that many nice guys just dont know how to be anything but a doormat. Man i used to be one,, taking one for the team,, always the friend type but not quite enough for a relationship,the shoulders to cry on but not to wrap loving arms around
i took a deep look into myself and my soul to find a better way to be,
i discovered that being the happy medium (nice guy/bad ass)got me a lot farther in life .
Now im not saying that its going to work for everyone Justin and i do realize everyone's entitled to their own opinions, but i've seen it one too many times where the nice guy keeps taking the back seat
Well i ,for one,am not going to do that, Im not complaining ,then again , if im not going to stir it up , then who will | |
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| Nice guys finish last, are you one?
Posted: 11/6/2005 3:15:11 PM | | Yup I'm a nice guy that finnishes last, but I don't give a shit anymore, I have never changed for anybody, and I won't start now. Besides if they can't appreciate how I am as a person, I don't want to be with them anyways. As far as I feel, I'm happy being single untill one day it falls into place. | |
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tenar
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Joined: 9/3/2005
Msg: 33 | |
| Nice guys finish last, are you one?
Posted: 11/6/2005 3:19:44 PM | | <<< not looking for a good boy or bad boy .. looking for a good man and like kobie until that day comes i am more than happy being single | |
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| Nice guys finish last, are you one?
Posted: 11/6/2005 3:28:35 PM | as am i tenar ,, as am i
but sometimes when you want things to happen you have to make them happen , how long do good guys have to wait ? i know a lot of good guys still waiting | |
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tenar
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Joined: 9/3/2005
Msg: 36 | |
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| Nice guys finish last, are you one?
Posted: 11/6/2005 3:34:23 PM | i beleive there are tenar ,,, but heres the thing ,, there a many women that say they want the good guy then turn around and unread delete your messages , i beleive the pickings are very slim indeed
yours truly
the shite diturber  | |
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| Nice guys finish last, are you one?
Posted: 11/6/2005 3:35:49 PM | | mc-che-fai-tu - there are a lot of guys who do the unread deleted thing....so it's not only guys who have that happen... | |
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tenar
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Joined: 9/3/2005
Msg: 39 | |
| Nice guys finish last, are you one?
Posted: 11/6/2005 3:36:02 PM | there are guys liek that too...
and yes with the good ones pickings are always slim and rare
just sick of kissing the frogs to get to the prince | |
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| Nice guys finish last, are you one?
Posted: 11/6/2005 4:06:50 PM | | ma-che-fai-tu. I still don't agree with what you are saying. I see that jerk guy all the time. The arrogant one that will do anything to impress and get the girls. They will step on friends toe's, try to upstage there friends may even put them down to make their self look better, whatever it takes. And they do win alot of times, but it is only a short term win. You be yourself, you be nice and respect yourself and in the long run those same girls that those other guys got to like them for one night, will respect you forever and in alot of cases will chase you. Being nice does not mean you are a door matt. Does not mean you can't go up to women and show confidence. So, in all what i am saying, I will not go beyond my integrity to compete and change who I am. I am a truly nice guy and in the long run, believe me those guys lose out and the guy who stays true to himself always wins. Women are more intelligent than you may believe and they end up seeing what they need to see. | |
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| Nice guys finish last, are you one?
Posted: 11/6/2005 4:10:49 PM | I have to say...time and time again Justin6767 your posts have shown that you are a nice guy. Don't ever change that  | |
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| Nice guys finish last, are you one?
Posted: 11/6/2005 4:11:46 PM | there are a lot of good ladies waiting
why are you waiting for them to come to you?
if there's someone you're interested in, why don't you let him know???
cheryl and james have both posted about how it worked for them.
there are a couple of things i've noticed, however....
all these "nice" guys... when a woman approaches them... quite a few seem to run like hell.
and more than a few others only want the model perfect ladies that every other man is going after too... | |
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| Nice guys finish last, are you one?
Posted: 11/6/2005 4:16:16 PM | justin ,, again maybe i should clarify myself a little better
i'm not the type of guy that would cross the line when it comes to my friends , im no back - stabber ,i wouldnt step on anyones toes to get what i want, Confidence is the key i agree , but you can be a good guy with an edge . Why be one or the other ,,,those who know me know what im all about , i respect myself and all others , even those who dont deserve respect should still be treated as human beings
What im trying to say is being the 100 % nice guy doesnt work for all people
if all i had was my niceness attitude ,, id be alone and thats the truth ,, many nice guys i know are going through that and dont want to
im true to myself and others and always will be ,,, but you can be a good guy with an edge
thats me
p.s.
thats you too kobie ( but you look too much like damon wayons) | |
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| Nice guys finish last, are you one?
Posted: 11/6/2005 4:17:54 PM | ive dated model types , and ive dated the natural types divine
a natural type will win my heart every time
i have yet to meet a model type that would actually want to get serious with a good man | |
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| Nice guys finish last, are you one?
Posted: 11/6/2005 4:24:05 PM | Okay ma-che-fai-tu, I guess we are probably saying the same thing, just mistaking what we thing is nice and who is not.
Port. Thanks alot for the compliment. You put a smile on my face. You are just as nice and always take the time to give many people compliments which shows you are not self absorbed and have a big huge heart. | |
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| Nice guys finish last, are you one?
Posted: 11/6/2005 4:27:00 PM | Damn took to long to post this LOL
Good for you Justin. I used to think exactly the same way when I was your age.
Now this is not a slag at all as I find you to be right on with most of your posts.
I think it just takes a little more experience to notice that those women you say will beat a path to your door because you stayed true to your "ideals " aren't coming. They will continue to follow what they think is right for them. And all the talks and patience in the world will not change them.
Ma-Che isn't saying to become the A-hole to attract them, he, like I say just don't be the door mat anymore. If they are crying on your shoulder for the 4th time over how some shmuck is treating them, get a back bone and tell them to STFU and leave you out of it. You gave them your advice on how to procede and they ignored it. Done. Over. Get a new crying partner, because every thing you want is standing right in front of you and it's not the doormat!
You're gonna get 1 of 2 responses. One, she's gonna blow her top and cuss you out on how you're not helping her etc. etc. yadda yadda blah blah. Don't wait for her to finish just run as fast as you can. She's not worth the heartache anymore.
Or she's gonna stop for a moment and reflect on what you've said. Then she may (MAY!) tell you are right and the relationship will take a turn for the better.
My experience has shown me that reponse one is what you'll get. You should have seen it coming after the first complaint about her current boyfriend.
Nowhere in this do I advocate becoming the jerk! | |
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