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| They're cute, have personality, are smart, but are lousy in bed...
Posted: 11/7/2005 2:11:15 PM | sex isnt the be all and end of realtionships by a far stretch. No-one ever got in a car and learnt how to drive it perfectly on their first go, plus one mans junk is anothers treasure.
Learning about your new partners body should be fun, and as everyone real here knows, sex isn't like it is in movies, its akward, sweaty and occasionally embarrassing, it's what makes us human.
Anyone who thinks that sex is the most important thing in a realtionship they are obviously so shallow they would drown in a puddle.
Nicky. | |
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| They're cute, have personality, are smart, but are lousy in bed...
Posted: 11/7/2005 7:49:41 PM | When people say that satisfying sex is not important in a relationship, I think of one phrase..."tell that to the person who is not getting any". If you have ever found yourself in that type of situation, please comment.
And also, people either have sexual chemistry, or they don't. | |
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| They're cute, have personality, are smart, but are lousy in bed...
Posted: 11/7/2005 9:59:43 PM | People who think sex isn't important to a relationship have clearly never had a relationship that was well-rounded on all levels, with an open, honest, rewarding sexual side to it.
Sex isn't just orgasms and wetspots... it's a way of physically communicating. It can be quick'n'dirty, fast'n'ferocious, or slow'n'sweet, but any way you slice it, it's how you talk with your lover without using usual language.
Valuing sex in a relationship isn't "shallow," as someone mentioned above. In North America, we've clearly missed the memo on how powerful a good sexual relationship can be. It's an incredible thing.
Recent studies have shown that North Americans have a greater "touch deficit" than they've ever had. We can go days, weeks, months without touching another person. It's criminal. Intimacy is so much more important than we've allowed ourselves to believe, and to say that kissing/hugging fills the whole bill is just absolutely ridiculous.
Sex is important. Period. It's not everything, but it's damned well something.
And I agree, sexual chemistry is there or it's not. I doubt I'd stay, if it weren't. | |
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| They're cute, have personality, are smart, but are lousy in bed...
Posted: 11/7/2005 10:08:16 PM | forget that! im not here to teach, i want an experienced lover who knows all the right moves..if he's not good in bed, he's gooooooooooooone!!! and i mean it..by his 30's and 40's god hopes he's had enough experience or he's atleast watching playboy to learn LOL | |
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| They're cute, have personality, are smart, but are lousy in bed...
Posted: 11/7/2005 10:10:21 PM | | boo hoo call me shallow..poor girl..you must be lacking good sex cuz you obviously dont know what it is..OF COURSE sex is CRITICALLY VITAL to a relationship..i dont want to bond over coffee and steak everyday..FEWF,,thankgod there exists women like me to keep men happy..now go out there and wither buy a book and read what good sex is about..or more so, go get it. | |
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| They're cute, have personality, are smart, but are lousy in bed...
Posted: 11/8/2005 2:35:05 AM |
boo hoo call me shallow..poor girl..you must be lacking good sex cuz you obviously dont know what it is..OF COURSE sex is CRITICALLY VITAL to a relationship..i dont want to bond over coffee and steak everyday..FEWF,,thankgod there exists women like me to keep men happy..now go out there and wither buy a book and read what good sex is about..or more so, go get it.
boo hoo, you are god's gift to men. you are soo full of your self and tht is why guys like you so much. | |
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| They're cute, have personality, are smart, but are lousy in bed...
Posted: 11/8/2005 3:28:32 AM | Like some have said, if they are lousy in bed ...just teach them, I have done this a few times actually....but I must mention they then went out and got new boyfriends and rocked their worlds instead of mine...kinda sux...but thats what I get for letting them outta the house I suppose.
(Okay, okay, that was a joke ....) | |
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| They're cute, have personality, are smart, but are lousy in bed...
Posted: 11/8/2005 5:08:10 AM | People who think sex isn't important to a relationship have clearly never had a relationship that was well-rounded on all levels, with an open, honest, rewarding sexual side to it.
Well i actually have a very good relationship on all levels, but i appreciate ur effort is trying to read everyone on here. Is it just me or do some people on here think they know everything. I have an option and just because it doesn't match urs doesn't mean it's incorrect.
Anyway, continuing on the subject, most replies for this post, except for the idiotoic, shallow and fake people say very similar to me, that it's fun to learn together, if you decide not to continue the relationship on a purely sexual matter (be it that they are not up to your standards) then so be it, but before you do, you should take a hard look at yourself.
No-one here is perfect in bed, what you think is fantasic may not be someone else's cup of tea. And to be honest if you do 'let someone go' due to the sex 'thing' then the persons probably better without you.
I love my partner, he loves me, we have great sex, but it's not what i look to him for.
Ciao. | |
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| They're cute, have personality, are smart, but are lousy in bed...
Posted: 11/8/2005 5:27:03 AM | Sex is a form of communication, no different in importance from good conversational skills. People who are very physical, and like to build things, do things, are generally very physical in showing their love for someone else.
Sex really defines a romantic relationship. People who do not have sex with you are really good friends or family members. I don't think anyone is looking to live with their sister or brother here. We are looking for that romance, the friendship and the sex.
There are plenty of sexual things you can do to satisfy your significant other, so many that even people challenged by medical conditions can still do nice things for their spouse.
They say sex is about 90% mental. So if you aren't interested in sexual interaction, then are you really interested in the relationship on a mental level? Sex is and should be in my opinoin a "deal breaker". No sex, no relationship period.
In short my answer to this question is, if they're cute, have personality, are smart, and lousy in bed, put them on your friend list, and continue in your search for a life partneer. | |
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| They're cute, have personality, are smart, but are lousy in bed...
Posted: 11/8/2005 5:30:19 AM |
Is the lack of physical passion a death knell to the relationship?.......People who think sex isn't important to a relationship have clearly never had a relationship that was well-rounded on all levels, with an open, honest, rewarding sexual side to it.....Sex isn't just orgasms and wetspots... it's a way of physically communicating.
How refreshing to see your post!!!!! Yes, lack of physical passion certainly is the death kneel. Sooner or later one is going to find it elsewhere.
Sex is the one thing a person depends entirely upon their partner to supply, yet, it is usually the last thing explored when considering a long term relationship. People will hang out together for weeks/months getting to know each other. The sexual tension builds until, when they finally do join, it seems like the best sex on earth.
As I'm sure most will agree the anticipation is a big part of the experience. A couple who have been dating for weeks/months have had weeks/months of foreplay, so to say. Each day getting a bit closer. Each day a little more hugging and kissing. Add that to having been abstinent for weeks/months and the simple words, "I'm ready" are almost enough to cause one to explode. 
In those cases I feel the people believe they are having great sex just as someone who hasn't eaten all day will find whatever they have for supper to be the best meal they've ever eaten.
Another mistake, I believe, is couples not wanting to have a lot of sex. We've all heard the tired, old refrain, "All he wants to do is have sex." When sex is posponed at the beginning of the relationship the couple fall in love without having explored it. The limited times they do have sex seems great as with anything else that is limited. It's the "Keep them wanting more" strategy. In the end the couple may enter a long term relationship having never evaluated the partner's sexual drive. When I hear people say it will come naturally it's like someone saying, "Of course they'll treat me right. It comes naturally." Life usually doesn't work that way.
Finally, as you say, sex is physically communicating. Again, most will agree communication is vital to a relationship. Sex is a unique way to communicate and is integral to romantic relationships. It's inconceivable to me how one can say they love someone, in the romantic sense, when they have seldom or never communicated in the romantic sense. | |
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| They're cute, have personality, are smart, but are lousy in bed...
Posted: 11/8/2005 6:05:08 AM | Well said Dave1234
For people who have said here "just teach them", you make it sound as if it's so easy. It would be easy if your partner was open to being taught. If not, you end up just banging your head against the wall. You can't "teach" someone if they aren't open to being educated. If someone has deep rooted sexual inhibitions, they need counselling to work through why they are like that to begin with.
For people who say sex is not important, you are kidding yourselves. Either you've never really explored your sexuality and discovered how incredibly wonderful it is to be totally intimate with someone, or you're frigid. | |
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| They're cute, have personality, are smart, but are lousy in bed...
Posted: 11/8/2005 6:08:26 AM | ...not necessarily.
There are hardly two people who meet each other levels or expectations.
It is never too late to learn something new via sharing providing the chemistry is there.
Besides, chemistry is not only sexual but good sexual chemistry is like cement for sturdy, solid foundation
buzz | |
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| They're cute, have personality, are smart, but are lousy in bed...
Posted: 11/8/2005 6:23:38 AM | | i think it may turn a negative into a positive.if he is a lousy lover that usually means to me he hasnt had very good teachers.sooooo that leaves a wide open oppertunity to blow his mind..nobody to compare you to.All others after being with you are compared by what you showed him...you are the Queen of his sexual fantasies and memories. | |
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| They're cute, have personality, are smart, but are lousy in bed...
Posted: 11/8/2005 6:31:15 AM | personality great, passion and sex drive excellent, it cost me my life few times I was threatened with knifes if I leave her coz of her addictions to drinks and smoking, its the wrong lady I keep getting, smokers, drinkers, or drug addicts.
At the moment am after sensual lady who loves massage, tantric love, candle lights, dating outing and locall N W london. perhaps I should stop going to clubs and dance all my night there. | |
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| They're cute, have personality, are smart, but are lousy in bed...
Posted: 11/8/2005 7:04:30 AM | | Passion is important. It may wax and wane but it is a necessary ingredient. I’ve broken up with some good women because the sex sucked. But I have to be honest and say that I think passion is often a reflection of how you feel about your partner. If you really want her, who cares if she can’t kiss? It’s a catch-22. You have to feel passion before the sex is going to be truly good - but sometimes great sex can make you feel passion where there was none. | |
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arri
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Joined: 10/5/2005
Msg: 72 | |
| They're cute, have personality, are smart, but are lousy in bed...
Posted: 11/8/2005 7:15:39 AM | The OP sounds like a woman who is treating love like a job interview.
Instead of checking their qualifications, why don’t you let your passion guide you? Because I have learned, that when you really connect with someone and feel something, sex is always good. | |
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| They're cute, have personality, are smart, but are lousy in bed...
Posted: 11/8/2005 7:17:37 AM | | Usually - If you are in a relationship and there is a lack of physical passion/attraction, then it is not more than a friendship - Unless they are scared to show it, afraid to get too close.... there are so many possibilities..... Think about it! | |
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| They're cute, have personality, are smart, but are lousy in bed...
Posted: 12/29/2005 12:14:21 PM | You sure can seperate the real women from the girls by just reading this thread! A big wooh who to all the ladies that knows, it is a whole combination package and the partners willing to learn are the most fun... they generally can teach you a trick or two to boot! | |
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