| | Women at Pubs by ThemselvesPage 5 of 6 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6) | i think also, on this interesting subject, that here in the uk at least, its strange isnt it, that if a woman goes in a pub on her own she's a slut, but if she goes into a coffee
shop, such as neros, starbucks, costas etc, it perfectly ok, strange psychology us humans have. | |
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| Women at Pubs by Themselves
Posted: 10/24/2009 4:10:54 AM | the nice thing about internet dating is you can spot the as.sholes by what they type.
Actually this is a good point - you really see a lot "behind the profile" of how people are and think by what they post. It's been said many times....maybe in softer words, but you get a much clearer idea of someone from the forums than you do from their profiles.
OT - I have a neighbourhood pub that I have no problem going to by myself, it's very rare that I don't see people I know there and it's one of those places several women I know feel comfortable going to alone.
As has already been pointed out - we're in the 21st century here, it's time to lose some of the outdated assumptions. | |
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| Women at Pubs by Themselves
Posted: 10/24/2009 5:42:04 AM | | In a local pub, I think of the show Cheers. A place where local people go to socialize with other friends or strangers from the local commuity, have a drink or a bite to eat and talk or sit alone and do thier own thing. I dont drink alchohol for medical reasons but ussually just go out cause I feel the need to be around others and to have a burger and frech fries and coke. Most of thse places are freindly places, not night club meat markets and the staff are usually friendly and watching out for thier patrons. Its a good place to meet locals and sometimes you may find a nice friend there. Lots make it a regular place to hang out after friday work days, or if there bored during the week and want to eat out and watch the tube with others. A good place for sunday football | |
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| Women at Pubs by Themselves
Posted: 10/24/2009 7:25:18 AM | I would like to go to a pub alone without feeling uncomfortable. I feel very conspicuous...like I'm trying to 'find a man' and that alone keeps me from going. Plus I am a bit on the shy side so the whole thing makes me uncomfortable. Ugh. The only way I feel comfortable in a bar is if I'm there with a man. Goofy, I know.  | |
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| Women at Pubs by Themselves
Posted: 10/24/2009 8:28:11 AM | Personally, I tend not to spend much time in bars by myself unless I'm really thirsty, or really bored and wanting to get out somewhere. It's one thing to socialize with friends, or some other patron, or the bartender, butI have a hard time sitting in a bar by myself for more time than it takes to drink one beer.
So, when I see a woman sitting, drinking by herself, yeah, I wonder. But I don't make any assumptions. And frankly, I really don't see that many women out by themselves. | |
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| Women at Pubs by Themselves
Posted: 10/24/2009 8:38:08 AM | | Well, from what i have heard that most women that go to pubs without a guy tend to be the types that try to get free drinks by flirting enough to make guys think they could score, but they never do, but i personally wouldn't bother since most tend to be rude, selfish and arrogant.....just my experience of trying to chat to a woman that is sitting alone. | |
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| Women at Pubs by Themselves
Posted: 10/24/2009 3:16:20 PM | I travel all the time for work. Sometimes for months during the winter I have to be in Winnipeg, where I live at a very nice hotel. The company picks up the tab for the hotel and food, but I cannot use room service. The pub food is much more to my liking than the restuarant, so therefore I constantly am going into the pub alone, about 9pm when the entertainment is starting.
What other people think of me being there alone without friends is definitely not any of my business. I simply don't care.
I seem to get more looks because I am not bundled up in a heavy coat, since I do not have to venture outside in the cold weather to get there.
Around the globe, men hit on me almost anywhere I go from the airport to the corner cafe. I always thank them for the compliments and continue with what I was doing.
A confident woman who risks her reputation to be seen out in public without an escort, is in most men's books -- adventurous if not downright sexy. | |
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| Women at Pubs by Themselves
Posted: 10/24/2009 4:33:31 PM | | You know what.... who cares what other people think! If you want to go to a bar/pub by yourself for a fews hours to get out of the house for a bit then by all means do it! People read to0 much into this stuff... | |
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| Women at Pubs by Themselves
Posted: 10/24/2009 4:47:09 PM | Startle....It's good to know that there's still women like you that will honest and truthful in these kind of threads. At least your not in total denial, like some people.. | |
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| Women at Pubs by Themselves
Posted: 10/24/2009 5:35:48 PM | does it really matter what others think ?
If you feel like going into a pub..or a club by yourself...it shouldnt matter.
You re actions once in the pub, would diclaim the roomers ,if that is what you are worried about....too bad for the stigmas.
they say... those that matter dont mind, and those that mind dont matter | |
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| Women at Pubs by Themselves
Posted: 10/24/2009 5:50:42 PM |
I would like to go to a pub alone without feeling uncomfortable. I feel very conspicuous...like I'm trying to 'find a man' and that alone keeps me from going. Plus I am a bit on the shy side so the whole thing makes me uncomfortable. Ugh. The only way I feel comfortable in a bar is if I'm there with a man. Goofy, I know.
If you really want to do it eh - just do it. Most of the time the uncomfortable feeling is just that you're not used to it. Once you do it a couple times, it isn't as weird to you.
I don't care what people think I am there for, they'll find out over time if they're that interested in what I'm doing - and honestly at the end of the day no one's that fascinated with what others are doing, if they have lives. Most people aren't generally paying that much attention to others in a room.
If I like the food somewhere or the atmosphere or drinks and I want to go, I just go. Public places are for the public. If guys think I am there looking for company and approach I correct them on it, that's all.
P.S. Bonus if you're shy - you get to enjoy a place without actually having to talk to anyone besides your server. | |
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| Women at Pubs by Themselves
Posted: 10/24/2009 7:19:06 PM | | I have done so and I'm not a slut. It's just a way to meet people when you're single. I pick places that serve more than alcohol. So I'll order some food. I've chatted with people and have had a guy who was also alone chat with me. I pick a place where I feel safe. I'm confident enough that I can go anywhere alone. How else can singles meet who don't want to always do the online thing. In fact, I read that picking a great sports-type bar that serves food is the best way to meet men. After all, aren't us females on this forum to meet someone. I try to stay out of neighborhood dive bars that serve only alcohol for the most part. Mostly you meet the neighborhood people in those or so I've experienced. That's not a bad thing, but...I'd choose not to. | |
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| Women at Pubs by Themselves
Posted: 10/25/2009 6:41:37 AM | Thanks for the advice, WomaninProgress. You are right about people being more interested in themselves. That's what I tell my female clients at the gym who are afraid of what others think of them. Maybe I'll give it a try just for experimental purposes. Might be good for me!  | |
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| Women at Pubs by Themselves
Posted: 10/25/2009 10:20:05 AM | ^^^I went from realizing no one cared what I was doing, to hoping they did find it interesting. After all, if you're not nervous and causing people to talk, then you're not living.
I figure people who talk about others are usually living vicariously through someone they wish they could be like.
Eh, it's probably BS but it works for me. | |
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| Women at Pubs by Themselves
Posted: 10/25/2009 1:44:50 PM |
Maybe I'll give it a try just for experimental purposes. Might be good for me!
Try a wine bar. At the very least the patrons aren't drunk, or at least aren't very drunk. At best, you will be able to enjoy a nice glass of wine and probably have a conversation with someone interesting.
In my experience, I've never been to a neighborhood/sports bar/pub which didn't have it's obnoxious resident drunk. The one who think's it's their duty in life to plop down next to you and regale you with drunken babbling and foul breath. Even the nicer places have them. | |
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| Women at Pubs by Themselves
Posted: 10/25/2009 2:19:40 PM | | One thing to do when you're at a pub alone is to sit at a table off by yourself, not at the bar. Then nobody will think you are there to get hit on. But obviously this is not a solution if you actually want to yack with the bartender while drinking. | |
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| Women at Pubs by Themselves
Posted: 10/25/2009 2:29:19 PM | | when i go to the "pub" alone, i usually sit at the bar and flirt with whoever is in earshot, hoping they will buy me drinks. i never go home with any of them, i just like to be coquettish and it gives them all a big thrill (the rocket in the pocket if you must know). But that's just me and my charm, otherwise, older women, especially pretty ones, should stay home and not go to pubs. Leave that to me. wink wink | |
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| Women at Pubs by Themselves
Posted: 10/25/2009 11:08:29 PM | I've never had a problem going to a pub by myself. I'm not going to sit at home if I feel like going out and no one happens to be available to go with me.
I can testify there are some people who assume an older woman by herself must be looking to get picked up. Over the years I've had to straighten out my share of men who thought I was "easy prey". I've also noticed groups of women tend to send out disapproving "vibes". Couples or mixed groups rarely take notice at all.
Interestingly, I've found that just by bringing a book with me, even if I leave it closed on the bar/table, completely changes the way people react. It seems to make my being alone at a pub more socially acceptable. | |
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| Women at Pubs by Themselves
Posted: 10/26/2009 7:30:39 AM |
You really are obsessed with asses huh ?
I am starting to see that trend too.....
I dunno it's 50/50 for me ... but "boy" you do have a purdy mouth
but if you end up in a sports bar with a cap on your head and start drinking budweiner ....then yeah 2 thumbs down on your trashy azz...pfft!
a "Wine Bar" my come across as a hard drinker for some. I'll take the budweizing cap wearer.... because a little trashy never hurt anyone....  | |
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| Women at Pubs by Themselves
Posted: 10/26/2009 7:53:29 AM | Neanderthal - this might come as a surprise to you .. sit down.
Bite me.
This universe does NOT spin around penises.
Well, duhhh...
yeah that's right, I said it. WE have what YOU want. Wars are fought over it, songs are written about it - ADAM GOT CAST OUT OF PARADISE FOR IT ..
We?
Have you been appointed as spokesperson of the collective?
You have pvssy?
What you conveniently leave out of the equation is that there are approximately 3.5 billion "pvssies" on the planet, and not all of them attached to a brainstem like yours.
Get over yourself.
ANYTHING men can do, we can do right the first time
That's a an utterly ludicrous claim to make.
I've yet to meet any woman who can do everything I can do.
I doubt you're the exception.
and anything I can't do myself, I can hire done.
And men are different?
The difference is - I don't let my genitals do my thinking
You let your estrogen run your mouth. I use logic.
what else u got?
A distaste for misandrists... | |
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| Women at Pubs by Themselves
Posted: 10/26/2009 9:18:21 AM |
MY QUESTION IS: what would you think -- both men and women -- when you see an "obviously" single older women in a pub? I make a lot of assumptions about their/your thoughts.
Do both the men and women think older/single women are there just to get picked up? Do they immediately think "Cougar"?
And, where does one sit when they're a single woman -- especially if there's no bar stools open? Please refrain from the obvious "on my lap baby"... LOL.
I don't think any different of them if they are alone or accompanied. Yeah, one could make many ASSumptions, but that's all it is. Who cares?
I've been to many places by myself; pub, club, movies, restaurant, etc......I am extremely comfortable in my own skin and actually enjoy doing things by myself on occasion.
If there aren't any stools or table, I chill by the bar with my drink and enjoy myself. ie. talk to others, watch whatever sports game there is.........until a seat becomes available. Usually, a man will offer his seat to a woman. | |
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| Women at Pubs by Themselves
Posted: 10/26/2009 12:43:10 PM |
One thing to do when you're at a pub alone is to sit at a table off by yourself, not at the bar. Then nobody will think you are there to get hit on. But obviously this is not a solution if you actually want to yack with the bartender while drinking.
The only way to correct stereotypical thinking, is not to avoid the situation. I'd rather sit at the bar, talk to the server, and correct any guy that thinks I am there to be hit on by addressing that in conversation.
But for me it's way more fun talking to the bartender to learn about the place while I'm drinking.
I've found in pubs, clubs and bars I get hit on more when I'm not sitting at the bar because guys don't tend to like to get rejected in front of an audience, and the bar's always got a crowd standing around it. Sitting at a table off to the side almost attracts guys when you think about it. | |
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| Women at Pubs by Themselves
Posted: 10/26/2009 3:38:50 PM | The only way to correct stereotypical thinking, is not to avoid the situation. I'd rather sit at the bar, talk to the server, and correct any guy that thinks I am there to be hit on by addressing that in conversation.
Good point. I was merely offering the solution I use when I'm not in the mood to be continually and relentlessly hit upon by all those hot babes hanging around the bar who think I came there to meet them. Their endless attention does get tiring, lemme tell ya. Of all the nerve!  | |
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| Women at Pubs by Themselves
Posted: 10/27/2009 9:02:54 AM | | I dated a girl that once told me when she was younger she'd go to the bar all alone in her sluttiest outfit looking to get picked up and have random sex with strangers. Yep that's what she told me after we were dating for a year. Her thing was being mean to people that came up to her and hit on her. In the end it still resulted in sex. | |
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