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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Would you start a relationship with someone you knew had a mental ill      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Peanuts5137
Joined: 11/3/2005
Msg: 26
Would you start a relationship with someone you knew had a mental illness?Page 2 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Yes i would. I am bipolar and control my mental illness with meds. People just do not understand. Mental illness is not to be laughed at. I have a disease that i take meds for every day and i do control my life. Until you walk a mile in my shoes don't prejudge people. It really pisses me off how people think it is soooooooooooooooo funny. Put yourself in my place or a loved one then think twice.
 mtbishop
Joined: 11/8/2005
Msg: 27
Would you start a relationship with someone you knew had a mental illness?
Posted: 11/8/2005 8:23:20 PM
i dont believe bipolar is real illness. i spent the week sleeping in and not going outside . no exercise . talked to no one. eating junk food. i am depressed . bipolar is just lack of discipline.
 _Thisisme_
Joined: 4/17/2005
Msg: 28
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Would you start a relationship with someone you knew had a mental illness?
Posted: 11/8/2005 8:37:55 PM
I have had someone very close to me completely lose their sanity so I don't have to think twice Peanut.

People make light of divorce but everyone who has been through it knows that it is anything but funny.

There are many jokes about funerals and death yet neither of these are funny.

Many people do understand that mental illness has to be an incredible journey and they have a great deal of respect for those who confront their illness and continue to forge ahead despite the struggles they face.

Using humour to deal with the downside of life can be therapeutic. It may appear that people are laughing at you but most are laughing with you and in some cases at themselves. If anyone needs a laugh it's those who are struggling.

Don't close your heart to these people because many of them would be supportive in any way they can. I admire your courage Peanut....all the best to you.
 yna6
Joined: 5/2/2004
Msg: 29
Would you start a relationship with someone you knew had a mental illness?
Posted: 11/8/2005 10:13:31 PM
Seems a lot of women on here are bi-polar, or have some problem mentally...always wondered if they were having problems getting a partner because of that. I tried meeting a woman from this site a couple years ago who seemed "normal"...till we met. Sheesh...
I'm not against trying though. But, having been there, I have found it is just a matter of time before they seem to think YOU are their biggest problem, even though you are only trying to help them. Not in a "controlling" sense, though they may think you are coming off like that...and when they are cut loose, they get into all kinds of crap. Nothing I can do to help them then, but wish them luck!
 ashley1861
Joined: 11/6/2004
Msg: 30
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Would you start a relationship with someone you knew had a mental illness?
Posted: 11/8/2005 10:16:55 PM
I've run into a couple of people with mental instabilities too. It's a quick way down
the relationship ladder. I don't think it's a matter of you staying on an even keel with someone who has a problem... tis the other way around.
Might be a good idea to stay friends, just in case they are "uncontrollable".

 janicholie
Joined: 11/3/2005
Msg: 31
Would you start a relationship with someone you knew had a mental illness?
Posted: 11/9/2005 2:11:27 AM
I don't know so much about dating someone with a mental illness, but my last relationship sure gave me one.
 Disco Daddy
Joined: 8/10/2005
Msg: 32
Would you start a relationship with someone you knew had a mental illness?
Posted: 11/9/2005 2:16:53 AM
With all of the preferences and restrictions a person can have, I do not believe good mental health is too much to ask for.
 pure_evil222
Joined: 10/18/2005
Msg: 33
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Would you start a relationship with someone you knew had a mental illness?
Posted: 11/9/2005 3:03:31 AM

I dont beleive bipolar is a real illness. spent the week sleeping in and not going outside, no exercise. talked to no one.eating junk food. i am depressed. bipolar is just lack of discipline


First off mtbishop, Sitting on your ass for a week because you've become aware of how trivial your meaningless existance is, does not make you an expert on depression. It does however make you a lazy, whiney, douchebag. As for Bipolar or Manic Depressive Disorder not existing, all I have to say to that is "Oh wow, you mean these past years of suffering were not real. All I need is more discipline?" Tell you what When you can pull your head out of you ass and make an informed and intelligent observation then maybe you wouldn't have so much trouble finding a significant other as I can only assume you do now.

Bipolar disorder isn't sitting on your ass and whining. Bipolar disorder is fighting on a minute to minute basis at times to control your emotions. It is also having to deal with thoughts of suicide and other such things that your feeble brain probably wouldn't be able to understand. So go ahead take a week off watch tv, eat junk food, and continue to think that that gives you a grand perspective on depression. I on the otherhand will continue to deal with the anger, hatred, suicidal thoughts and tendancies. I will also deal with a buildup of scartissue and extremely high tolerances to most medications as well as not wanting at times to have anything to do with the human race because at times I think they're all as stupid and uninformed as you. But thats ok because obviously I have no concept whatsoever of depression because its been months since I've had the time or the ability to sit on my ass and eat cheesies and watch Jerry Springer to see if my family will be on it like you. In closing go to hell you uninformed, unintelligent and just plain un-educated moron.
 DaisyMaisy
Joined: 11/8/2005
Msg: 34
Would you start a relationship with someone you knew had a mental illness?
Posted: 11/9/2005 4:09:04 AM
Both my sisters were diagnoised with manic depression which I now think is bipolar disorder? Having lived with this my whole life I would say no if I know they have this disorder I would not start a relationship. People with this disorder are very fragile already, the strains of a relationship would only make them worse and probably bring on circumstances to yourself you may not be able to handle.

Both my sisters eventually killed themselves. So no I would not go into a relationship knowingly.
 The Fat Man
Joined: 9/9/2005
Msg: 35
Would you start a relationship with someone you knew had a mental illness?
Posted: 11/9/2005 4:18:02 AM
Are you taking to me...? What did you say....? No I will not kill... What is the chicken on the roof for...? Did you hear that...? I am going to go put a metal hat on now, so the space people can't read this letter... Humm, It would depend on the mental illness...
 ThePretender
Joined: 10/15/2005
Msg: 36
Would you start a relationship with someone you knew had a mental illness?
Posted: 11/9/2005 4:25:01 AM
@sunnymom...Some of the women here have age restrictions on their profile, but are willing to make a go of it with a younger man, even if he has a mental illness. There is something funda(mentally) wrong with their thought process.
 swetthoney
Joined: 11/1/2005
Msg: 37
Would you start a relationship with someone you knew had a mental illness?
Posted: 11/9/2005 8:11:23 AM
OK you say no but do you even know someone with a mental illness. your anwser really pissed me off. You think they aren't real people or something. Maybe the fact is you have a mental illness and could not handle your gf/bf having one two. Think about what you say and the things people do know. Some people do have family members who have mental illness and they act just like you and I. Dumb ****.
 ThePretender
Joined: 10/15/2005
Msg: 38
Would you start a relationship with someone you knew had a mental illness?
Posted: 11/9/2005 8:20:48 AM
To whom are you refering?
 Aro77
Joined: 7/16/2005
Msg: 39
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Would you start a relationship with someone you knew had a mental illness?
Posted: 11/9/2005 9:17:18 AM
Well, to all the people who said 'no', you're saying you wouldn't have a relationship with someone who was, say, on prozac or peroxitine? ie someone who had depression, anxiety, but who was treating it with medication?

In that case, you've probably just eliminated 50% of the population as potential mates.
 Disco Daddy
Joined: 8/10/2005
Msg: 40
Would you start a relationship with someone you knew had a mental illness?
Posted: 11/9/2005 9:28:07 AM
50%, that's not too bad, I only need to try a few anyway. Are we supposed to have a "pity party" for those with mental illness now??? We can choose who ever we want to date. Why should we feel bad, about not wanting a relationship with someone who has a mental illness? Yeah, I know they are people too, so they should have to put up with the same restrictions, as anyone else would. Should we just lift restrictions when it comes to mental health? No way would I settle for someone with a mental illness. It doesn't make any sense when I can choose from so many other options.
 Artbreaker
Joined: 11/6/2005
Msg: 41
Would you start a relationship with someone you knew had a mental illness?
Posted: 11/9/2005 9:42:11 AM
This sort of topic generates a lot of heat, but not much light. While I understand the anger that some people with mental illnesses feel toward the insensitivity displayed by others, I think that on reflection they should consider how fortunate they are to NOT to be in relationships with such people. The truth is, it's very difficult to sustain a healthy relationship with people suffering from many mental and emotional illnesses, and not everyone is up to the task. There's no profit for anyone if social pressures or whatever induce a person to enter such a relationship that doesn't have the skills and desire to cope. Let's face it, most people can't sustain a positive relationship with a person who has NO mental illness; what would you expect from them in a more challenging situation?
It's perfectly true that people with Bipolar, clinical depression, PTSD or what have you are human beings too, that they have feelings (hoo boy, do they have feelings), and that they have needs for love, respect, nurture and all the things that other people need. At the same time, however, it's not the obligation of everyone else, or any particular person, to pick up the burden of coping with the things that make us describe these conditions as mental illnesses. Depending on the disorder, taking on that responsibility can consume your life- or destroy it. Dehumanizing people with mental illnesses is bad; guilt-tripping people who don't want to enter into intimate relationships with the mentally ill ain't so hot either.
 STILLOneCoolChick
Joined: 11/5/2005
Msg: 42
Would you start a relationship with someone you knew had a mental illness?
Posted: 11/9/2005 9:47:57 AM
I have a mental illness

I suffer from depression and anxiety.

What is the difference in taking on this type of illness than any other medical illness? It's still MY illness, not yours...

I'm so tired of getting treated differently than anyone else with other medical problems and looked at as if this is "all in my head" and I can "snap out of it".

before anyone answers this question, they should educate themselves. Anyone who flat out says "no" to this question, without saying "it depends" and without understanding what type of illness it is... I can't really respect you.


i dont believe bipolar is real illness. i spent the week sleeping in and not going outside . no exercise . talked to no one. eating junk food. i am depressed . bipolar is just lack of discipline.


that's just sad. I really hope you don't ever have a child that ends up with an illness like this.
 Puckerdillo
Joined: 11/5/2005
Msg: 43
Would you start a relationship with someone you knew had a mental illness?
Posted: 11/9/2005 9:52:15 AM
i dont believe bipolar is real illness. i spent the week sleeping in and not going outside . no exercise . talked to no one. eating junk food. i am depressed . bipolar is just lack of discipline.


Is that a real Phd or is it a mail order Phd.........?
 possum77
Joined: 4/17/2005
Msg: 44
Would you start a relationship with someone you knew had a mental illness?
Posted: 11/9/2005 9:54:30 AM
I must agree. RUN LIKE THE WIND! My previous husband... told me he got a state check because he had SCOLIOSIS. Well, I guess he just pronounces things different than I do because the diagnosis was SCHOZOPHRENIA. 3 years... 15 emergency room visits... on murder attempt... It wasn't worth it. He waited until we were married to show me what a nut job he was. Even those who are certifiable have those ways of making themselves appear normal until they ambush you. By the time that happens you usually 'love' them and will find yourself even making excuses for thier nutty behavior. Mine is in jail, awaiting a prison term right now... not for being a wife beating lunatic, but for not paying his restitution for burning his best friend's house down. Don't walk, dear....
 possum77
Joined: 4/17/2005
Msg: 45
Would you start a relationship with someone you knew had a mental illness?
Posted: 11/9/2005 9:59:19 AM
Seems like alot of people wear the term "BI POLAR" as some kind of badge... like they are proud of that. .........."Hi I am Debby. 28 with a hot smokin bod and a whoppin case of Bi Polar Disorder. Yeah... You can have all this if you can deal with my mood swings, my inconsistencies, my unending string of doctors and medications. I lack self cotrol, self discipline, self respect, and self esteem- but it's ok. My therapist says so". I'm not making fun but this 'mental illness is cool' thing started with that stupid Girl Interrupted movie. I think it's just something people do when have no control over themselves. If anyone wants to argue this emailme.
 Artbreaker
Joined: 11/6/2005
Msg: 46
Would you start a relationship with someone you knew had a mental illness?
Posted: 11/9/2005 10:05:52 AM
Well, if ignorance is bliss, there are some pretty happy folks on here....
 kisama
Joined: 3/19/2005
Msg: 47
Would you start a relationship with someone you knew had a mental illness?
Posted: 11/9/2005 10:28:18 AM
Hanging around these forums has led me to believe ingorance and stupidity are the two most common forms of "mental illness" going around these days.

In case you dimwits haven't noticed here's the current rankings in POF of attributes which you find the least desirable in parnters:

1. Smokers (smokers stand no chance in hell of ever finding someone on this site)

2. Mental Illness (ditto for folks with mental illness it seems)

3. Divorcees and seperated individuals (god forbid we show these folks any compassion)

4. People with some form of STD. (at least there were a few "it depends on the disease and how I feel responses in that discussion, mind you just a few)

5. Wife and girlfriend beaters (these folks actually manage to find dates, go figure)

6. Folks who cheat on their wives (yep, they have no problems getting laid too)

7. People with criminal records (I haven't seen it discussed but I'm sure if we held a pole, we'd see more "it depends on the crime" responses than we're seeing here in the mental illness thread)

Pretty sad folks.
 Disco Daddy
Joined: 8/10/2005
Msg: 48
Would you start a relationship with someone you knew had a mental illness?
Posted: 11/9/2005 10:34:22 AM
Well, Boo Hoo... People have preferences... On a dating site... Go figure.
 STILLOneCoolChick
Joined: 11/5/2005
Msg: 49
Would you start a relationship with someone you knew had a mental illness?
Posted: 11/9/2005 11:01:43 AM
don't forget people chalking their ignorances up to "preferences".
 Disco Daddy
Joined: 8/10/2005
Msg: 50
Would you start a relationship with someone you knew had a mental illness?
Posted: 11/9/2005 11:17:46 AM
So let's see... A divorced, mentally ill individual, that smokes and has STD's should be the top of every ones list. Hey what the hell, I guess we should just date anyone, even if we aren't interested, maybe we should give them a chance out of pity. Yeah, that would be great... I can't believe I have the nerve to be so picky. Imagine... choosing a person that is in good mental health. Maybe I'm just too demanding...
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